Just a Matter of Feelings

 This is a rather important matter.

 We are a harmonious couple! I know that we’ll be in trouble once we show otherwise.

 That was why I didn’t object to sharing a bedroom.

 But you know what?!

 The question is how do we sleep!

“Um…should I sleep on the sofa?”

 When I timidly suggested this, he looked at me with a dumbfounded look, as if to say, Are you stupid?“

“If only one of us slept, we’d be exposed in no time. This is kind of hostile territory, you know?”

“Er, we had a spat or something?”

“We just got here to squabble.”

“Like…I can’t sleep with the change of pillows?”

“I hope that excuse holds up ―― Come on, let’s go to bed. Your dog’s already asleep.”

 It’s not a dog!

 But, you could say that.

 Licht has been sleeping on his stomach on the bed for quite some time now.

 Has he forgotten his wild instincts? I’ve been wondering about this a lot lately.

 He doesn’t even respond to my voice, nor does he care if the bed shakes.

 He’s the type of beast that would never survive in the wild.

 Ep, is it perhaps because he’s a pup?

 No, no, no, even for a pup, this is a little too much!

 You can look at him favorably and think he’s fitting in, but if you look at it negatively, he’s just a dog that has learned depravity.

 He’s not a dog, though.

 I wish I could have a life like yours, Licht-kun.

 Do you have any idea who I’m going through all this trouble for, Licht-kun?

“Look, get over there.”

“P-Please don’t do anything weird!!”

 I told my husband off with a glare, when he pushed me by the shoulders and almost made me lie down on the bed.

 At that moment, a wicked smile appeared on his face.

 It was gone before I could chew over it.

“What do you mean by weird?”

“Whatever is weird is weird!”

 Can it be more specific?

“It’s too abstract. If it’s not weird to me, then it’s not weird. Don’t you agree?”

“Not at all!”

 I vehemently disagree! Please don’t interpret this to your advantage!

 It’s a universal-like problem! I think.

“If it’s not strange between a married couple, then it’s not a problem, right?”

“Why is that so――!”

 Without warning, my husband placed a finger on my mouth, momentarily silencing me.

“You can bark all you want, but you’ll wake up Licht.”

“If this was enough to wake him up, he’d be up by now!”

“Well, that’s a relief, isn’t it?”

 My grinning husband pushed my shoulders with intent and rolled with me down on the bed.

 For some reason, the top-quality bed, which softly took the weight of two people, is now abhorrent.

 In my position, I’m being surveyed from above, and thinking that this is indeed a terrible idea, I said to my husband who was in the shadows

“Where has your trust building plan gone?!”

“…It’s hard for me to argue with that…but I’m going to build a playground for your dogs in my territory, so shouldn’t you at least thank me?”

 Seriously? This territory belongs to you, Husband?

 Am I asking you to build a playground here?

 But you should know! In return, I’m also doing some troublesome face-to-face meetings and doing my best to fulfill my role as Duchess ―― Although it’s hard to say, I’m doing my best here!

 I had a lot of things to say, but I just couldn’t get the words out, probably because my husband’s eyes were looking at me more seriously than ever.

“In the worst possible way, I could force you to do it. Men are like that. A man can embrace a woman without feelings.”

 Really, that’s the worst thing you could have said!

“But of course it’s better to have feelings. Women may think that men are scumbags who only want their bodies, but they can be more sensitive than you think.”

 I know that everyone is different.

 Even women can be jerks, and men can be romantics.

“I told you before that I like you. I understand that my valuation has fallen rock bottom in your mind for a number of grounds. But have you ever given it some thought?”

 Indeed, he told me. And even I, who once worked like a Lord, can honestly admit that my husband is doing his best to carry the Lindbeld dukedom on his back.

 I understand that my husband has also been through a lot.

 My husband is now paying the price for the past deeds of the Duke of Lindbeld, which are too much for him to bear alone.

 He told me he likes me, I was the one who tried not to think about it because he put it on hold.

 It wasn’t that I hadn’t thought about it at all. However, I had indeed relegated it to a corner of my mind.

“I’m glad you’re having fun, but part of me thinks I’m never part of it.”

“Um…”

 Even if I wanted to say something, it would only be an excuse.

 My husband is still quite reckless and convincingly awful.

 Because of this, I don’t trust him completely. However, I think I can trust him as a comrade in business to a certain extent.

 I enjoy talking about work with him, and I like that he’s intelligent enough to understand me immediately.

 When it comes to work, my husband makes very serious and legitimate suggestions, and even points out things that I would never think of.

“You’re still very young, but can I at least expect a little bit of that by now?”

“Er, that――…”

 I clammed up and couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

 It’s not that I don’t know what he wants.

“I thought I’d leave it to you at your own pace for the time being, but if you don’t change anytime soon, I’ll have to force you to turn your attention to me. To be clear, I want to retract a lot of things. After all this time, I want us to be a married couple. I’d like to get a little closer to you, kids or not.”

 It’s not a matter of physical distance, but of heart.

 My husband expressed his intentions, but I don’t know how I should respond.

 It’s easy for me to say no. We initially had a verbal promise, and I hope he can stand by that promise.

 However, I’m also beginning to wonder if that’s enough.

 My husband gently stroked my cheek and chuckled at my confusion.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say this out of the blue, but …there you go.”

“N-No…I’m sorry.”

 I have no idea what I was apologizing for, but that’s what I couldn’t help but spill.

“You have a lot on your plate tomorrow, don’t you? Let’s get some rest.”

 I couldn’t grasp the distance.

 But my husband seemed unconcerned, which was somewhat frustrating.

 He moved out of the way from above me and lay down next to me, covering me with a quilt.

 When I turned my head to the side, his face was close to mine, so I turned the opposite direction.

“Good night, Risha.”

“…Good night.”

 His quiet breathing in sleep soon became audible, and I turned to face him again.

 He is also handsome even in sleep.

 I’m sure women in the world would easily nod if pressed, but I couldn’t be honest with myself.

 I think I’m scared.

 What if I fall in love with him, and he betrays me?

 My parents were in a loveless, political marriage.

 What I could endure because it was a loveless marriage, I might not be able to if I fell in love with him.

 That being the case ――…

 I curled my body into a tight ball and tried not to think about it.

 

Translator Notes: And now we know. Risha’s scared…With her parents’ relationship as an example and limited experience, I guess any girl her age would feel the same…

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