Reborn to Strive

After Shi Zhen left, Guan Baiyu paused, then opened the door and went out.

    Beside his house was a muddy path; crossing through the vegetable plot, it led to his foster parents’ home.

    His foster parents’ house looked like a two story building from the front, but the rear had only one story, and the outside had no whitewash coating — it had no roof because they’d run out of money while building it.

    Aside from the people who farmed in the village, and those who worked in the factories, there were a few who did other things, piecing together their earnings from various sources. If one couldn’t afford to build a large house, a small one would be built, but Guan Baiyu’s foster father was never able to find work. Even if he did things like going to town to sell bamboo shoots or fish, he never earned much money. The family’s income was mostly reliant upon raising vegetables and silkworms.

    It was early when Guan Baiyu reached his foster family’s house. Although the door was closed, some light shone through the crack.

    Guan Baiyu knocked on the door, and heard the sound of the door bolt being drawn open. His foster mother opened the door.

    His foster mother’s surname was Zhang, and her personal name was Xiumei. She was very beautiful when she was young, but now she was more than forty years old, tanned, thin, and had begun to develop a humpback. She had long ago lost the grace of her youthful years. [Her given name means elegant or graceful.]

    Looking at Guan Baiyu, Zhang Xiumei was a little unhappy.

    She didn’t like Guan Baiyu.

    Her father in law had long ago passed away, and her mother in law always managed the household affairs. Yet, from the beginning, her mother in law disliked her, thinking she was too thin and too small to work.

    Later, after she had miscarriages and was unable to carry a child to term, her mother in law found her ever more displeasing to the eye, nitpicking her over everything. 

    She recalled that one time her mother in law had bought some tofu to add to the meal, but Zhang Xiumei hadn’t taken more than a bite before she was scolded.

    Later, her mother in law even went and brought home Guan Baiyu.

    Since Zhang Xiumei couldn’t give birth to a child, she really didn’t like Guan Baiyu, and she felt that way even more so when she finally gave birth to a child of her own.

    When she was pregnant, her mother in law showed her a rare smiling face, but once she gave birth to a daughter, the mother in law turned around and lay down on the sofa, saying she was in pain, and had no time to help her out. 

    She could only rely on herself to look after her child.

    When her daughter was several months old, her mother in law turned sixty, and her sister in law brought her mother in law a chicken. At that time, it was still the 1980s, and eating meat was rare. After giving birth, she’d only eaten eggs, but hadn’t been able to eat chicken.

    Seeing her mother in law stewing the chicken, she had a craving, but it was no use. She thought she might be able to have a few bites, but in the end her mother in law ate the whole chicken and never even gave her a taste.

    There were numerous events like this, far too many.

    Her nephew from her sibling’s family came over to visit, but her mother in law wouldn’t let him come in the house. 

    When her mother in law misplaced something, she accused her of stealing it.

    Whenever her mother in law bought something to eat, she’d never share it, but hid it away inside her room.

    Before Guan Baiyu came to the house, Zhang Xiumei and her husband spent all day working their field, and supported her mother in law, but her mother in law still spent all day grumbling and cursing. 

    So because she didn’t like her mother in law, then because it was her mother in law who raised Guan Baiyu, she didn’t have a single good impression of him.

    Originally, after she gave birth to her daughter, she thought that Guan Baiyu could be given to another family to raise, but her mother in law stubbornly insisted that because she had only given birth to a daughter, Guan Baiyu absolutely must stay.

    Fortunately, her husband was of the same mind as her, and was concerned about their own daughter.

    “What did you come over for?” Zhang Xiumei asked.

    Guan Baiyu said, “Mom . . . I have something to tell you.”

    Guan Baiyu’s foster father’s home also was made of earth, and the floor was made of timber. The narrow stairs were likewise made from wood.

    At the moment, the family of three were all downstairs. His sister was doing her homework, his foster father was making a broom. 

    Seeing him come in, they both looked over.

    Guan Baiyu’s foster father was named Guan Guangguo, since the generation name for him and his male cousins was ‘X-guo.’

    Guan Guangguo didn’t marry late, but he had a child quite late. Although his daughter was two years younger than Guan Baiyu, he was already over forty years old and his hair had begun to turn grey.

    “What’s going on?” Guan Guangguo asked.

    Guan Baiyu said, “My cousin came looking for me.”

    Guan Baiyu told them about Shi Zhen.

    Shi Zhen had come to see him a few times, but always in the evening. Since the weather was still cold and everyone stayed indoors at night, nobody had seen him.

    Even though it was unlikely that anyone had seen, nevertheless, even though Guan Guangguo’s family and other families were only ten meters away, Guan Guangguo wouldn’t have bothered to know about it.

    Guan Guangguo instinctively asked, “You’re going to return to them? You need to pay me back before you leave.”

    Guan Baiyu stiffly said, “Not returning . . . my cousin is from my mother’s side, and my mom has already died . . .”

    Guan Guangguo frowned.

    Zhang Xiumei usually gathered with the neighbors to chat. Hearing that Guan Baiyu’s cousin was named Shi Zhen, she asked, “Your cousin is renting a room from Jianguo? He himself is renting a room, but is unable to manage you. You’d better take care not to be blinded by his money.”

    Zhang Xiumei looked at Guan Baiyu while she spoke.

    There was another reason she didn’t like Guan Baiyu.

    Many years ago, her mother in law should have hoarded some money, and furthermore she had brought back Guan Baiyu. Didn’t his grandfather give her some money to raise him?

    After her death, there should have remained a few hundred to a thousand RMB, but in the end there wasn’t a single cent, and furthermore they had to shell out for the funeral.

    At that time, they had just built their house, so where would they get money? They had no choice but to take on debt.

    Zhang Xiumei thought that Guan Baiyu had hidden the money.

    “I have no money.” Guan Baiyu said.

    Zhang Xiumei didn’t believe it, and was even a little vexed, “Okay, you have no money! Since your cousin has come, when you want to study, ask him to pay for it. Don’t come ask us for money since we also don’t want you to provide for us in old age.”

    Her mother in law obviously had money, for a long time now Guan Baiyu had gone to school but asked them to pay for it. They were already unwilling.

    These few years since her mother in law had died, they were even more reluctant to pay for Guan Baiyu’s schooling, and she was the most unhappy about it.

    In the end, Guan Baiyu had signed an IOU with them, and they continued to support him.

    “I only borrowed from you . . .”

    “We have no money to lend you! When Xiao Hong was sick, I took her to town to see the doctor, and had to borrow money from my parents to pay for it!” Zhang Xiumei said.

    This was true, she really had no money! She had previously arranged her mother in law’s funeral. She and her husband had approached her mother in law’s younger brother’s family to borrow money and cried, but were only able to borrow 50 RMB.

    The two children needed to attend school, home expenses were high, they owed money from building the house and arranging the funeral, she had nothing to spare.

    Guan Baiyu stood frozen.

    Actually, he was always unsure of what he would do in the future.

    He was very successful in school, but he was thin and small. The villagers said he looked like he wouldn’t be able to work. If he went on to study at a polytechnic high school, after graduation, he could return and work as a primary school teacher.

    He himself also had this plan, but studying required money. If he wasn’t able to continue studying, perhaps he should go out and immediately look for a job. But he wasn’t able to find work.

    During previous school breaks, on the weekends he went into town to look for work, but he was too young. He wasn’t even sixteen years old, and he looked emaciated, so nobody wanted him.

    He had calculated the costs, and decided that it was better for him to continue studying. Although it cost money to study, after three years of studying at a vocational high school, surely he could find a decent job. For this purpose, he still needed to have a talk with his foster father and ask to borrow money to attend school.

    His foster father was not willing to lend him money, so in order to set his foster father’s mind at ease, he had written out an IOU for 4000 RMB. In the future he would make more money . . . from when he was young until now, his food and drink aside, he added up his school expenses. Though if it didn’t really add up to that exact amount, it was close enough.

    But now his foster father was unwilling to lend him money. Guan Baiyu was a little anxious, and thought of Shi Zhen.

    Was Shi Zhen willing to lend him money? Or . . . would he have to quit school entirely?