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Bibell

[Changing the Future]

The memories of his childhood are as foggy as a haze, but one day in particular stands out.

May of the year Eunha turned six.

He lost his family on this day.

It was no one’s fault, no one’s mistake. It was a terribly unfortunate accident.

The family was traveling to visit her grandmother in Incheon. After the <1999 Destruction>, travel between cities was extremely limited, and the roads connecting them were often haunted by monsters.

For their own safety, their parents have been avoiding taking them out of the city center.

Naturally, Eunha and Euna knew little about their grandmother except when she came to visit. That was also when the two children were born.

But Lim Gaeul, who was inaugurated as a fairy, first implemented a policy to improve the roads connecting cities. Road improvement was a necessary policy for her to install cocoons throughout the Korean Peninsula.

And in May of the first year of her reign.

The fairy government announced a surprise gift for distant relatives and citizens who found it difficult to travel after the <1999 Destruction>.

In May and September, they announced that they would be hiring players in large numbers to maintain the roads.

People have been reluctant to travel to visit family members outside of the city because of the monsters that roam the unmaintained roads.

No one opposed the government’s plan to ensure that every household had a proper celebration for their family holidays, Chuseok and Lunar New Year.

May 4th.

People packed their bags and headed home.

Eunha’s family did the same.

Eunha still remembered that day. He still remembered the day he burned a torch because no matter how much time passed, no vehicle would move forward.

It was a massive procession that represented a national unit. Any road would inevitably be congested.

And monsters were bound to appear.

Mana calls forth mana. The mana that people unconsciously spilled on their way home was bound to attract monsters.

In the midst of the mana gathering, monsters were born and monsters seeking mana couldn’t help but turn their attention to the crowded people.

This was the reason why the fairy government hired players on a large scale.

The problem was that the fairy government was too complacent about the situation.

One of the incidents that rose and fell in the early days of the government.

Negligent policies.

Insecurity.

Lack of initial action.

This was an incident that corresponded to the first national apology of the fairy, Im Ga-eul. People had negative feelings towards her to the extent that day.

So much so that even Eunha had a negative opinion of her.

From that day forward, he had to suffer from helplessness.

He had to deal with loss.

He had to realize what death was.

The monster Kraken had appeared without warning.

A disaster monster of the third rank at the time.

It was a literal disaster.

The people there were just lanterns in the wind.

The same goes for Eunha’s family.

A car plunging under a railroad bridge.

The surface of the water slowly approaching in slow motion.

Screams from inside the car.

Screams from outside the car.

And Euna clinging to him, trying to protect him.

‘It’s okay, I’ll protect you.’

And so it was.

Eunha miraculously survived. Players rescued him from the surface.

People cheered for his miraculous survival. The hospital room was filled with flowers from strangers.

Someone even asked him how he felt about the people cheering for him, not because they wanted to share ‘the’ miracle, but because he had miraculously survived.

A miracle.

Yes, a miracle.

A miracle for a man who was about to freeze to death.

In exchange for the miracle, he lost everything.

Six years old was too young to realize the reality.

He blamed his family. He blamed Euna.

Why did you leave me alone?

If only you had killed me with you then, it wouldn’t have been so hard.

His resentment turned into a hatred of monsters, a yoke that would not let him die, the Undead.

And then the day came again.

May, the sixth year of my regression.

I will never miss it again in this life.

☆

«The May holidays start next week, so why don’t we go visit Grandma then?»

It was my father who spoke first.

«Grandma?»

Euna, who had her face half buried in her rice bowl, looked up. Unaware of the rice paste stuck to her lips, she was whimpering like a rabbit.

«She’s your mom’s mom. You met her once when you were a baby, but you don’t remember her, do you?»

«Really?»

«It was dangerous outside of Seoul, so we didn’t go to see her, but this year the government is fixing the roads, so it should be safe.»

«That’s good, because I haven’t seen my mom since Eunha was born.»

«Me neither. She’s like a mother to me too.»

My parents’ faces softened as they remembered their grandmother in Incheon.

My father, who was like an orphaned child, said that he was indebted to her and that she was like a mother and a benefactor.

They then talked about the first time they met.

They were a very good couple. It was impossible not to notice the heat in their eyes as they looked at each other.

They seem to be relieved that we’re young, but I can hear everything.

Eunha pretended not to notice the conversation about tonight, but then decided to interject and change the subject.

«Mom, Dad. Can we go see Grandma another time?»

«»Huh?»»

Eunha was always lazy about everything, but it was natural for his parents to raise their heads knowing that he doesn’t force things without reason.

But he had to.

No, he had to force it.

It was the only thing he could do.

«Doesn’t Eunha want to see her grandmother?»

His mother asked sadly.

«No. I want to see Grandma too.»

Eunha wanted to go see her grandmother as much as her mother did.

It was his grandmother who had taken him in after he lost his family and was left alone. No matter how many people looked down on him for living like an autistic child, she was his parent until the day she died.

That’s what a grandmother is to him. When he regressed, he even felt like he wanted to go visit her right away.

«But… not that day. Can we go next year?»

Eunha knew what was to come.

He decided that just for this one day, he would change it no matter what.

Yes, I’m a selfish bastard.

He admitted it again. A selfish bastard whose only thought was to save his family.

He didn’t care one bit if the people there died or not.

There was no obligation on his part to save everyone. Nor did he have a sense of justice.

He was just a six-year-old kindergartener, a mere speck in the face of a disaster-class monster. He had enough on his plate, just protecting his family, and no one who would believe him.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel guilty.

Still, he would choose again and again the same. Selfishly, viciously, more than anyone else.

I’m probably crazy somewhere.

I admit it. That even with his regression, he’s still an undead, a Berserker who can’t die, who’s gone mad.

Ever since the day he lost his family, he thought there was something wrong with him, something that made him not human.

In his second life, he was still mad. He went from killing monsters to becoming one.

Once he realized that, he couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone that he had regressed.

«Is there a reason you don’t want to go?»

His father, who had been watching him, spoke up. His harsh eyes seemed to be searching for something in him.

Eunha knew he wouldn’t be able to convince him by just saying he didn’t want to go.

There are limits even to persuasion.

So he decided to counter with a reason that would convince him.

«Dad, didn’t you tell me before that more people would be traveling down to the provinces because of the Fairy’s cocoon?»

«Yes, I did.»

«Then the roads will be extremely congested, won’t they? And what if a monster appears on the way? I heard on the news that the cocoon hasn’t been installed outside of Seoul.»

«Well, Eunha did a lot of research. That’s why Dad was thinking of leaving a day early, and don’t worry about the monsters, the players will take them down.»

Still no use.

Eunha shook his head inwardly.

The only person who thinks that leaving a day early will be enough is his father. And even the players who maintain the roads couldn’t stop the Kraken.

As proof, Eunha’s family had lost their lives because they left a day early.

When he became a player, the Kraken was classified as a fourth-tier monster, but in this era, it was strictly a third-tier monster.

To at least face the Kraken of this era, several players known as the «Twelve Thrones» or players equivalent to them, or a clan that reaches at least B rank, had to join forces.

It was unlikely that such people would be volunteering to maintain the roads.

But he couldn’t convince his father with what he knew; he didn’t trust a child’s information.

So, be childish. As much as possible.

So that his father wouldn’t have any doubts.

«And next week is Children’s Day! I want to go to the amusement park on that day! Hayan said there’s something called Viking in Dreamland! It’s not far from home!»

«Haha, Eunha, you’re…your intentions are too obvious, aren’t they?»

«Hehe, Eunha was also 6 years old.»

Unexpectedly, my father burst out laughing. My mother, who had been listening quietly, turned her head and held back her laughter.

«Neither of them had ever been to an amusement park.»

The only places the family went to were Changgyeonggung Palace and Gyeongbokgung Palace (1) (E/N: Picture below!) near their home.

It wasn’t unreasonable for him to get lost in his thoughts.

Okay, the mood is not bad.

If I bring an ally into this.

«You want to go to Dreamland, don’t you noona?»

«I want to go, Dad, and I want to ride the Vikings!»

Euna bounced up and down in her seat, her eyes shining.

There was no one in the family who could ignore her excited gaze.

«Well, I can’t help it. Then let’s go to Dreamland next week!»

«We’ll have to pack a lunch. What do you want to eat, Euna?»

«I want a sandwich! I want a sandwich and chicken nuggets!»

«I want tuna kimbap that my mom made.»

Success.

Having accomplished his goal, Eunha sang a happy tune.

This will change the future.

It would change.

It didn’t take long for him to realize that this was a careless thought.

☆

«What? mom?»

As if fate could not be changed.

The peaceful atmosphere turned cold.

It was a few days after the Eunha had fulfilled its purpose.

Mother, who received a phone call during dinner, was unable to speak.

«…Yes, I understand, thank you. Please take care of my mom, okay, okay….»

She hung up the phone, visibly depressed.

«Mom, what’s wrong?»

«What happened to your mom?»

Euna was worried because her mother was usually so calm. Her mother ran to her, hugged her, and smiled softly.

«It’s nothing big….»

«What?»

«My mom fainted.»

«What?»

Grandmother?

That can’t be right. After hearing his mother’s words, Eunha doubted his ears.

He remembered the stories he had heard from his relatives in the past. His grandmother’s health had been failing since his grandfather’s death, and when she was told that his parents had died, she couldn’t even get out of bed.

But soon after she fell ill, his grandmother got up to pick up Eunha, and she had been fine until he entered the Player Academy.

So the story that her grandmother had fainted at this time was just a rumor.

The future changed?

I shook my head at the thought.

I’d heard of the butterfly effect, but it couldn’t have led to my grandmother’s collapse. At most, all that happened was Mother informing Grandma over the phone that she couldn’t visit her this year.

It was just a coincidence.

Really accidental.

«It doesn’t look like she was hurt much, but….»

Even without her mother’s words, Eunha believed that her grandmother would be okay.

However, Mother, who didn’t know about Grandma’s health, couldn’t help but worry. Thinking about Grandma living alone since Grandpa passed away made her anxious.

«I can’t do this, I have to go visit my mom.»

Eventually, what Eunha feared happened. Her mother looked up, ready to pack her bags.

«How are you going to get there by yourself?»

«If I go alone, there’ll be a seat left on the train.»

«I’m supposed to take care of Eunha and Euna, and you’re supposed to go by yourself? No. I’m worried about your mom too, so I’m going with you.»

«But what if the kids….»

«We can’t go to Dreamland at a time like this.»

I was right. There was no way my parents were going to stay quiet when they heard that their grandmother had fallen.

Something was happening.

Eunha stared at his parents as they talked.

If he knew the future, he thought, everything would work out.

The moment he decided to change the future for the first time, it passed him by as if it were impossible.

As if fate could not be changed.

Don’t be ridiculous.

Fate is a bullshit word.

There was no point in living a second life if you couldn’t change the future. There was no point in his return.

«It’s Grandma, Eunha, she is very sick. I know you want to go to Dreamland, but can’t you wait until next time?»

Eunha’s parents trying to convince him.

Against his parents, he couldn’t say anything.

He was completely speechless.

«Eunha….»

How pathetic.

Someone chuckled.

It sounded like someone giggled and laughed.

When he looked up, he saw only his parents waiting for his answer.

There was no one.

No one who had laughed.

And yet, he could hear it clearly. Even now.

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Help!!!!

Mommy!!!!

This time, it was a scream.

The only scream he remembered from that day in his childhood, a scream of uncontrollable fear of death.

«I’ll protect you».

Euna’s arms around him in the falling car.

Then he falls into the river and the world is covered in bubbles.

Don’t remember. Wake up, No Eunha!

As the traumatic day replayed, I almost vomited unconsciously.

He suppressed the boiling anger and emotions inside.

If he couldn’t control his emotions here, everything would be over.

So he had to be cold.

So he had to find the best way to make up for the situation.

But I couldn’t think of anything. I couldn’t think of anything that would convince my parents, who were worried about my grandmother.

There was no way I could convince them that she was going to be okay for no reason.

Shall we try using force? What kind of force can we use in this situation?

«Um…»

Eunha was captured by a sense of helplessness, unable to do anything.

«…I guess we have no choice. Let’s go see grandma.»

The voice that came out of his mouth had a tone like chewing sand. In the end, he had no choice but to say what his parents expected to hear.

PLEASE HELP!!

HELP ME!!

Only the echoing screams from that day within the chaos of his mind made his dizzy.

Notes!

(1) Changgyeonggung Palace and Gyeongbokgung Palace