Reverse Approach

Every night, just before the lights were turned off, Liao Nanqing would send a good night to Su Beimo and Su Beimo would occasionally reply. He replied regularly; replying to one every other day, as if he had prepared it.

The day he replied, Liao Nanqing covered the quilt and was happy. On the day that he didn’t reply, Liao Nanqing would lose a little sleep.

Liao Nanqing had set a goal for himself; if he improved by ten ranks in the monthly exam, he would go to City B to find Su Beimo. This was his arbitrarily set goal, he didn’t tell Su Beimo even a word.

To put it bluntly, he was afraid of being rejected.

To put it bluntly, his grades were so poor that it was pretty uncertain whether he could make progress.

This evening, Liao Nanqing was especially looking forward to it, standing on the balcony early and waiting, because Su Beimo said at noon that he would call him back. But after waiting for a long time, Liao Nanqing did not receive Su Beimo’s call.

It was not that Su Beimo deliberately did not call and broke the promise, but he had an accident.

On the way to a dinner with company employees, Su Beimo accidentally got hit by a car in order to save a child who was crossing the road. The injury was not serious, but it also hit his head and left a lot of blood. The child’s parents were so grateful that they thanked Su Beimo profusely.

He didn’t get together for dinner and instead became wounded. The colleagues also sighed for a while and they dispersed one after another after visiting. Only Xu Yuanming accompanied him in the hospital, which was regarded as taking good care of Su Beimo.

Su Beimo was hospitalized as the doctor advised him to stay in the hospital for observation overnight before leaving. He was lying on the hospital bed, hungry. But by the time Xu Yuanming returned from buying dinner, Su Beimo was already sleeping.

The phone was placed on the pillow side, Xu Yuanming shook his head and sighed; at this time, he still cared about the phone. He was also kind, thinking that Su Beimo’s parents were not in City B, so he stayed the night.

At about nine o’clock, Su Beimo’s phone vibrated twice.

Xu Yuanming saw that the message on the screen was sent by a person named ‘Liao Nanqing’. Even though he had a gossip heart, it was ultimately impolite to look at other people’s mobile phones and he also didn’t know Su Beimo’s phone password. Seeing that Su Beimo was sleeping deeply, Xu Yuanming thought for a while, but still didn’t wake him up.

Only when Liao Nanqing called did Xu Yuanming go to the outside of the ward with the mobile phone.

As soon as he spoke, there was silence on the other end.

Xu Yuanming touched the back of his head and said ‘hello’ again.

Only then did Liao Nanqing cautiously ask: “Where’s Su Beimo?”

“He’s in the hospital.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Liao Nanqing became nervous, his heart jumped, for fear that something might happen to Su Beimo.

Xu Yuanming could be considered clever: “Are you his younger brother in third year of high school?”

Liao Nanqing nodded hurriedly: “En!”

“Oh, he had a small car accident, the doctor asked him to stay in the hospital tonight for observation ……” Before he finished, Xu Yuanming heard the sound of a glass breaking on the other end of the phone and another boy yelling and asking if it was hot. Xu Yuanming could feel that this Liao Nanqing, even his voice was shaking, extremely uneasy when he was asking for the address of the hospital.

If Xu Yuanming remembered correctly, Su Beimo’s younger brother was in high school in his hometown. Even if he came by train, it would take an hour and a half. Besides, he went to buy a ticket at this time. Whether there was a ticket or not was still a big question, and even if there was any, he had to wait until early morning.

He comforted Liao Nanqing: “Don’t worry, he is just a little hurt…”

“How can it be a minor injury when there is a car accident!” Liao Nanqing seemed to be frightened and yelled at someone for the first time. After reacting, he kept apologizing and choking up, saying: “Sorry, can you tell me the address? please…”

The tone was very pitiful. Xu Yuanming was dumb and had to say: “Hey, don’t cry. This way, you can first see if you can book the ticket on your phone. If you can, call this phone when you arrive and I will drive to the station to pick you up. You’re a student, it’s not safe to come here in the middle of the night…”

Xu Yuanming himself was a person who couldn’t make up his mind. He couldn’t persuade Liao Nanqing. After all, this was somebody else’s younger brother, he couldn’t stop him.

But he did wonder, when the call was answered, it was really a boy’s voice. The previous speculation that it was Su Beimo’s target was all dispelled.

More than two o’clock in the morning.

Xu Yuanming said hello to the nurse on duty, stretched his waist as he went to the toilet, splashing several cold water to make sure he was awake before driving to the station to pick up Liao Nanqing.

Liao Nanqing didn’t buy a train ticket. He came to City B by that kind of long-distance bus in the middle of the night. He was still wearing a school uniform, his hair was messy by the wind, and he didn’t even carry a bag, standing alone at the gate of the empty dark station. Holding the phone tightly in his hand, the dark shadows skimmed over his head and the darkness around him. He craned his neck uneasily, not daring to move around blindly.

Xu Yuanming thought he had mistaken, because Liao Nanqing and Su Beimo were completely two different styles. No matter how you look at it, they were all types that couldn’t play together.

The boy in front of him was thin and looked a little dazed under the indifferent light of the street lamp. Xu Yuanming honked and the sharp voice echoed in the dark night. Liao Nanqing shuddered, then bumped his guts and ran over to the half-open car window, bent down and asked softly, “Xu ge?”

“En, get in the car.”

Liao Nanqing sniffed and got into the car with his head down. He stayed up all night and sat stiffly in the co-pilot. He was not good at talking with strangers and always looked stiff. Even the seat belt, it was only when Xu Yuanming reminded him that he remembered to put it on.

It was Xu Yuanming who spoke first: “Did you come by a long-distance bus?” He looked at the exit where Liao Nanqing stood just now, it was not the exit for the train.

Liao Naqing nodded, then as if something was stuck in his throat, and he couldn’t swallow it, so he nodded hard.

“Then you can’t sleep well in the bus, are you sleepy? How about I find a hotel for you to take a rest?” Xu Yuanming cared symbolically.

Liao Nanqing also knew what to do, he just wanted to go to the hospital quickly: “I’m not sleepy, thank you, Xu ge.”

“Your brother is fine, don’t worry too much. I’ve said hello to the nurse on duty, you’ll go to ward X on the X floor, the bed by the door. Remember to keep your hands and feet light and don’t quarrel with others, don’t disturb others.”

Liao Nanqing lowered his head and gripped his seat belt with both hands: “Yes.”

Xu Yuanming glanced at Liao Nanqing again and again while driving and suddenly understood why Su Beimo was so uneasy. This young man, from beginning to end, was wrapped in an indescribable depressive taste, like a coward who had never seen the world before, or like an isolated person1 that resisted and avoided all strange things.

Relatively speechless during the short drive, Xu Yuanming tilted his neck and looked uncomfortable.

When he got out of the car, Liao Nanqing was like receiving an amnesty. Xu Yuanming returned Su Beimo’s phone to him and Liao Nanqing thanked him many times before running into the hospital in a flash.

He was suffocated. Except for sitting in Su Beimo’s co-pilot, he had never sat in someone else’s private car.

Liao Nanqing’s whole body seemed to be immersed in water, sweating and the clothes on his body were wet. Unlike the casualness of high school students, Xu Yuanming’s white-collar workers make Liao Nanqing feel invisible pressure. The atmosphere of the big city made Liao Nanqing lost when he came here for the first time. He was afraid that if he did not act properly, he would embarrass Su Beimo.

There were faint lights in the hospital. After the nurse on duty asked Liao Nanqing, she didn’t stay for long.

The smell of disinfectant was strong and Liao Nanqing twisted his hands and feet to find Su Bei Mo’s ward. Inside, Su Beimo was sitting up halfway, rubbing his temples with his eyes closed. He fell asleep, and only when he woke up did he realize that it was already at this time. Su Beimo opened his eyes, his face was weak and weary through illness, he was still in a trance.

The light outside was faint and misty, and Liao Nanqing stood at the doorway, blocking the light.

Su Beimo squinted and reached out to touch the phone, but he could not touch anything. He turned on the side light on his side, the darkest setting. Fortunately, he was not short-sighted and quickly recognized Liao Nanqing’s appearance.

And Liao Nanqing was sobbing silently, with tears on his cheeks.

…

It was not like they were to be parted in life.2

Immediately, Su Beimo had such an idea in his head.

Afterwards, his heart was feverish and he was inexplicably at a loss. He didn’t know why Liao Nanqing suddenly appeared in his ward, at this late hour of the night, when the sky outside the window was still dark. Su Beimo held his forehead and suspected that he was still dreaming. He got up, walked over, and touched Liao Nanqing’s head.

With the soft hair resting on his palm, slightly itchy, Su Beimo twitched the corner of his mouth, like a smile that was not a smile, it really hurt his head.

Liao Nanqing hugged him in the next second, not daring to force, tears gently rubbed on his hospital gown. Warm and hot, but Liao Nanqing’s body was ice-cold, still trembling.

He was so frightened that he didn’t dare to close his eyes all the way and he worried so much that he couldn’t sleep.

“I miss you.” Nearly a crying voice, three words, the same as that day.

Hit the heart directly.

Su Beimo had just had a minor car accident. Although it was not a major accident, he was always psychologically vulnerable. Liao Nanqing appeared just in time to bring the three words I miss you into his heart. Su Beimo was dumb, couldn’t even say a word; he even had an urge to hold Liao Nanqing tightly.

This silly boy, running in the middle of the night, crying with snot and tears. He was cold all over, and his head was wilting as if he was about to die, he didn’t even know how he got here.

Su Beimo’s Adam’s apple rolled up and down, thinking of his indifference this week and deliberately alienating him. At the same time, those scenes combined with this poor Liao Naqing, broke his stubborn reason with a roar.

Independence, dependence, alienation, separation.

To hell with it. He, Su Beino, was just trying to help Liao Nanqing. What was wrong with this?

Why bother with that?

Su Beimo hated himself for not being able to speak, his voice was hoarse and deliberately low, but it sounded warm and soft: “What are you doing.”

“Afraid that something will happen to you, always afraid.” Obviously on the road, Xu Yuanming had been very clear, Su Beimo only suffered from a small injury, everything was all fine. But Liao Nanqing still couldn’t help it. At the moment he saw Su Beimo, tears fell uncontrollably.

But he always remembered what the nurse said, don’t wake up others, so he narrowed his mouth and didn’t dare to cry.

He shed tears, aggrieved.

He was terrified and kept rubbing his cheek against Su Beimo’s shoulder to make sure he was okay, that he was fine. Su Beimo patted his back and coaxed close to his ear, “Don’t cry anymore, be good, ah.”

Liao Nanqing shook his head vigorously, and Su Beimo wiped his tears and took him outside. Near the window, there were still a few traces of moonlight, Liao Nanqing’s face was wet, and there were tears on his eyelashes. Su Beimo wiped him with his palm and then wiped him with his sleeve, and was finally defeated.

“I have been convinced by you, there are so many tears.”

Liao Nanqing didn’t dare to speak any more, he cried and trembled, tightening the corner of Su Beimo’s clothes. Staring at the gauze on his head, his eyes overflowing with tears again.

“I’m fine, just a small injury. It is estimated that tomorrow morning after the examination, I can be discharged from the hospital, really fine.”

“I’m just scared.” Liao Nanqing didn’t dare to move, so he looked at Su Beimo and repeated, “Really scared.”

Su Beimo’s heart stirred, and all the floating emotions were turned into nothing. Under the moonlight, Liao Nanqing’s eyes were like a vast array of stars, Su Beimo was about to fall in with just one glance. His ears were a little hot, but he passively let Liao Nanqing hold and pull his hand.. Su Beimo swallowed again, hesitated a little, and squeezed Liao Nanqing’s hand with his backhand.

Don’t alienate, don’t separate.

He, Su Beimo, eighty percent was really going to be planted on Liao Nanqing.

In just one week, the little thought he put into it, the childish acts he did. Not returning messages, not answering the phone. Thinking he was right, unknowingly forcing himself into a dead end.

And Liao Nanqing’s occasional messages and phone calls also caught him.

He would often be in a daze with his mobile phone, hesitating for half a day because of a message from Liao Nanqing, and would toss and turn with worry because Liao Nanqing had sent a few messages less today. This week, he had no easier time than Liao Nanqing.

It was as if the other person was living in his dreams, hazy in the dead of night, breathing slowly and steadily in his head.

Gradually taking root.

自闭 – self closing

生离死别 – be parted in life or separated by death; part forever