She Returned as a Vampire

59 – To go back to the old days

“So, let me die in front of you?”

You may be a little angry.

I didn’t want her to fall on her floor so miserably, begging me for forgiveness.

It was the same with suffering.

In the first place, I wanted her to be happier with me,

And I did it because I wanted people to know just how important my existence was in that happiness.

I didn’t act like this because I wanted to make her feel guilty.

I wanted her to suffer, so she wasn’t even committed to me-

She was going in the exact opposite direction I wanted.

“I told you that it’s okay just to acknowledge the love I gave you.

And I said I would love you even if I had the heart to pay it back.

Elena, this isn’t like that.”

“…What more can I do? Niel?”

Leaning completely in front of me, she trembled and said:

“I’ve already ruined everything.

Trust and trust, I destroyed everything with my own hands.

And yet you have the audacity to say that you can’t lose your arms…”

How can I get her out of this state?

How can I put an end to this situation where her feelings are clearly visible even to her shape, and she can’t hide her sorry for me even while laughing at her.

Getting that thing off of her would be the most important thing, but by what means?

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Niel… I, I-

If I showed you this, it would definitely be a nuisance.

You’ll suffer more as you embrace me…”

“Wake up.”

If you treat yourself gently, if you continue to criticize yourself like this

I was right to scold her for stinging her.

“To…?”

“I told you to wake up.”

“Ha, but – “

“Stand up. Won’t you listen to me? Huh?

If you want to act like a sinner, I’ll hang out with you, so I told you to get up.”

I rarely get angry.

She always wanted to leave good feelings, so she kept her bad words and feelings to herself as much as possible and always smiled at her.

But come to think of it, she didn’t do that to me.

I honestly confessed what I felt, and it was also the disappointment or anger I felt.

And if the guilt that started from that drove us to where we are now,

I thought it would be right for me to try my hand.

“Al, knap, alright, uh.”

I slowly got myself up from the bed, staggered back and tried to hold her hand as she sat, but

“Write,”

Still, that thing on her back kept me from reaching her.

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Even though I want to reach her,

Even though I was the one who suffered the damage, I didn’t like the fact that something else was interfering.

So, I looked Elena straight in the eyes again and said.

“Helena, put this away.”

I really didn’t like this constantly eating at her, so this time I spoke directly to Elena, clearly expressing my disgust.

“That, but-“

“Clean it up. It’s a hindrance.”

“Ugh…”

Looking at the shape that fades at a word,

I looked at her with a slight smile until the end, and I could only sigh at the dispersing magic power that took shape.

She received the pain that could be solved so simply because she wanted it herself.

I couldn’t help but reprimand her, shaking her head at her stupidity.

“Elena. Don’t get me wrong.

I’m not happy at all that you’ve been blaming and cursing yourself like that.

On the contrary, I got angry when I got angry. There is no reason to like it.

Who would be happy to see someone they love sick?”

She held mine tightly in her arms, holding mine exactly in her eyes.

…A slight return of the red light indicated that her condition was improving.

“If I get hurt, if I get hurt, are you happy to see that?”

As soon as I finished speaking, she became contemplative and grabbed my arm.

“No, no, not at all, no, no, no, no.

I hate to see you buried in a snowdrift,

I don’t want you to be sad or cry. I can’t stand it.”

Her barely met eyes stirred in me once more, and her feelings simmering and riding again forced me to grab her and shake her once more.

“So, so! Elena! Keep your head up and listen to me!

I don’t want to see you cry either.

I don’t want to see myself swearing at myself, hurting myself, and tearing my hair out all the time.

It hurts, that.

And I hate to see you sick as much as you do.

Do you understand what I mean?”

“…But,”

“Did you understand?”

I wanted to get her confirmation before she changed her mind.

So she can’t hurt herself again,

So that this would not happen over and over again – at least I wanted to get her answer.

I couldn’t move forward like this forever, and I couldn’t stay where I was.

“…Yeah. I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again, Niel.”

She said to me with a slightly uneasy smile.

But at least, I was able to put my mind at ease in that I was able to solve the immediate problem.

“Stop worrying about people. Huh? The reason I bought this house and deliberately chose a remote place is to live with you in the end.

It’s troublesome if you keep doubting it.”

“Of, I never doubted. It’s just that I – “

“Including that.

Rather than having doubts about yourself, just think about how you will treat me in the future. Understand?

If we continue to grieve and regret like this, in the end we can only continue to be hurt like this.

Elena. So… From now on, just focus on me.

I will find some happiness in my life. Huh?”

He gently stroked his hair and slightly raised the corners of his mouth.

So again, she burst into tears and held the hand I had given her.

…Today should be the last time I hear these cries.

***

If you walk along the road – it will take about 30 minutes.

I was able to arrive at the village by talking to her about this and that, or silently looking at the clouds embracing stars in pink and purple embroidering the sky.

Of course, each time she and her village arrive at an ambiguous time from evening to night, but some shops are still doing business with their lights on.

There were still people in the restaurants, and it seemed like a good time to come and take a look around the bars and streets as well.

“Wow…”

In fact, it was all because of her that she came to see the town.

She continues to be unable to blend in with her people, and her situation, rather threatened, has planned her schedule for the day in order to make her feel at least as human as she used to be.

She needed to cover her eyes, so I put on her deep hood, and I was beside her, in her usual clothes, leading her from place to place.

Holding her hand tightly.

She wondered if she too was excited because she felt as if she had come on her own trip.

She looked around the places where her people gathered and the shops with her eyes shining so that she couldn’t remember the gloom she had seen yesterday.

“Rainbow – Razor – Last! A bunch of limes 5 blancs in one pocket – “

There is a fruit stand on one side, and a restaurant on the other side that receives the last customers and returns those who have been waiting.

And to the bar where people slowly start to gather.

She enjoyed the ‘living’ village to her heart’s content, holding my hand and even pulling me carelessly.

“Oh…”

Her one step too late to take her foot off made her feel a little resistant,

That made her eyes twitch slightly.

“What are you doing? Let’s go. Isn’t there something you want to see?”

I hurriedly covered up her behavior before things got weird again, and fortunately she agreed with me with an awkward nod of her head.

Because of her broken heart, a little bit of her, swallowing her pain into herself, her eyes shining, holding her tight as she entered among her passers-by, began to make her way through her people. .

Fortunately, the hood covered her face well.

Many people took a glance at her for her height for a woman, but she soon returned to her work.

Because of this, she was able to feel the heat of people who did not give in even on a slightly chilly night with her own skin.

The dry air became heavy with the scents and colors of each person.

Sometimes the faces and reactions of people who bumped into or passed by were friendly or rough, but –

Even that seemed to be a pleasure for her.

At the same time, whenever friction with her people occurs, I have to hide myself and cover her, although I do feel a bit bitter on the one hand.

“…Haaa!”

After wading through the crowded streets once, she happily breathed in the fresh air again.

Anyway, she seemed to have enjoyed the moment.

“Isn’t the smell of food unpleasant?”

“It was fun because it’s been a while since I’ve been in charge. And… It’s been a while since I’ve been walking around town with you…”

Betsy, there was definite warmth in her arms as she smiled and hugged me.

I wondered how people could change like this in just one day, but at the same time, how tightly she hugged me,

She also knew how strong she was holding my arm, so she didn’t bother talking about it any further.

How long did it take you to walk like that?

I suddenly thought that it would be nice to give her her present.

Coincidentally, there was a jewelry store right in front of her eyes.

“Elena! Look at this.”

“Oops, I was just about to close the door. Do you want to go see it?”

The old man, who was about to put down his glasses, put them on again and greeted us.

“…This is – “

Necklaces, earrings, rings –

From things studded with various jewels to things with simple, modest decorations.

Contrary to the size of the store, there are many kinds, so it was a good place to treat your eyes.

So she lowered her head to look at them, and while looking around carefully one by one-

“Hmm? The woman’s eyes are… Red?”

The sound made me freeze for a moment.

Elena also suddenly raised her head and hurriedly covered her eyes.

“Oh, that’s – sorry if I offended you.

It’s a rare color, so the old man’s curiosity aroused…”

Laughing wildly, he pulled her leg little by little and lowered her head under a shelf a short distance away-

“I’ll also show you some things that suit women’s eyes.

There are many types, from cheap to expensive, so take your pick.”

My heart skipped a beat, but I didn’t feel any malice in his grey-haired words.

There was nothing in the room that could be a point of contact with the church.

But perhaps Elena was shocked, she eventually turned her head and headed outside.

“You want to go too?”

“Oh, no… But, I want a present.

I – I… I’ll be out for a while. Get some fresh air and you’ll be fine.

It’s nothing. I’ll come back soon.”

“If you feel uncomfortable, I’ll just follow you.”

She was uneasy about the way she kept touching the hood she was wearing, so she tried to follow the old man behind-

“Niel, I’m really fine.

I would be very happy to receive your gift, but…

As expected, I’m nervous.”

Her mouth moved closer to my ear, and she blew her words into my ear in a low voice.

“I can’t come this far… And put you in danger again…!”

I glanced into her eyes at the slightly wet sound, and I saw her tears welling up slightly.

“…Then I’ll pick one up and go. Wait. It’ll be soon.”

Her jingle, her distance, her old man’s face darkened a little as he watched her step outside.

“I wonder if I made a mistake when I said it, maybe my eyes have a lot of color – “

“Can’t you just keep it a secret?”

It wouldn’t be polite for her to be too mean to him, but at the same time, the fact that one of her sensitive secrets was about to be revealed made her uneasy with me.

Her words came out a little harshly, and on the other hand, it was making me lose focus on the trinkets.

The old man seemed to feel ashamed of me like that, and he even added that he would lower the price of her a little while holding up various items.

But there was one more thing going on to pay attention to.

It caught my attention that someone was trying to talk to Elena.

“…What happened.”

“Hmm?”

The old man also listened to my words and looked outside.

“Wait a minute, I’ll be right back.”

“That’s right. I’ll keep the shop door open -“

I opened the door with a little uneasiness and looked at Elena. A man was staring at me in confusion.

“Ah, that, that… Maybe a woman’s – “

The blurry figure of the man outside the door was none other than a foolish young man.

He was holding a flower with her buttons fastened to the end of her neck, scratching her head and looking back and forth between me and her.

Her feelings were slightly offended by that, so she held Elena’s hand tightly and spat out her words.

“Anything to do with my woman.”

A faint red light from under the hood could tell that Elena had turned her gaze to her.

“Oh, no. Excuse me…”

She just stopped by her jewelry store to make sure that the outing with her ended on a good note.

I couldn’t figure out how bad things could happen one after another.

As she looked behind the stupid guy who was leaving with quite a resentment, I felt her slowly hugging me from behind her back.

“…Are you okay, Elena?”

I could feel her holding me a little stronger, feeling that she was trembling with a little anxiety.

“Thank you, Niel. This time, really – moment, I’m afraid you’ll misunderstand me –

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That’s, really, scary, can’t do anything – “

Soothing her as if she was about to burst into tears at any moment, I grabbed her hand and stuffed her hand into her pocket as we walked into her road shop.

“How many blancs is this?”

“That, it was originally 300 blanc, but only 250 blanc – “

She couldn’t afford to be counting her money with Elena, who was still swaying wildly, so she took out three gold coins, put them in her place, grabbed her necklace, and quickly ran out of her shop.

“I, I – I – “

In a panic, I tried to soothe the continuing wriggling of something darker than the night.

Even at the moment of leaving her village, even while going down one of her hills, she swallowed her tears, and in the end I had no choice but to make a choice.

After I got my emotions under control, my plan to give you a surprise gift ended up being in vain,

Soon, the necklace clung ridiculously to the crying face.

“Oh, uh? Uh huh?”

Did you notice the strange sensation in your neck?

She stopped crying and fumbled for her jewelry on her chest, then looked at her necklace in amazement.

“The day… Wasn’t that easy, Elena.”

“…Yes.”

“It’s just that saying these things now is a bit – I don’t think it suits you.

Again, it’s a little too much to feel this way, but it’s a little bit hard to tell you with all your might because of things-

I’ll take good care of you in the future.”

Despite her messy introduction, she looked at me blankly, then at her necklace with glowing eyes.

After standing for a long time with her hands wrapped around the jewels of her necklace, she suddenly fidgeted with the neck of her necklace and grabbed a piece of paper to remove it.

“…400 Blancs.”

“Hmm? Four hundred? Not three hundred?”

All I heard was three hundred, jeez-

As things continue to twist, is today really the day your luck hits rock bottom?

“Hey, give me one gold coin. I’ll be right there…I’ll be back.”

I shook my head at her as she laughed and spread her hand after she cried.

“I’ll just go back tomorrow and give it to you, Elena. It was late at night -“

“Ji, I want to go now. I can do it soon.

Again – you’re coming out… When will I follow you?”

With a voice that I couldn’t tell if it was crying or laughing, I barely pulled out each word,

She crawled out of my hand and picked up the coin she was about to put into her pocket with her long fingernails.

“I’ll be back in the blink of an eye… If you walk slowly toward the village, you’ll meet him halfway…”

Looking at her necklace, she smiled softly, and in an instant, ran towards her village as if flying.

I stood in a daze for a moment watching the sight that had turned into a dot in the distance and entered the entrance of the village.

“…That’s fast.”

It was a little regretful that there was no time to stop, but I had no choice but to follow her words.

It shouldn’t take very long at that speed.

But… Why are your fingernails standing so sharp?