I Gave Up on Being a Heroine

A corner of a cafe. Kirari, sipping sweet coffee and opening a book, was concentrating as if she couldn’t see me.

“Wait a minute. I’ll finish reading this in about 10 minutes.”

Ten minutes had passed since she said that. I was staring at her reading a book with an illustration of a beautiful blonde woman with big b*****s, a so-called light novel.

Come to think of it, when I played with her (Part II), she had blonde hair and wore azure-colored contacts. She looked like a degraded version of me, which I found endearing, but now she has brown hair and no contacts.

Now that she wears glasses, I can no longer say that she is a degraded version of me. That’s a shame.

–I was thinking about something unimportant, when Kirari closed the book.

“Phew, that was funny! Sorry, Mary … No, Mea-chan? Or do you prefer Ali-chan? It’s kinda, kinda cold to call you that.”

Oops. I wonder if it’s okay to be so friendly with me?

I can’t imagine being defenseless in front of such a black-hearted character.

Well, it’s good that you are easy to handle.

“Have it your way♪… my mom used to call me ‘Allie’!”

This was before she had an affair and my father left her.

Looking back, she was a bad wife, but a good mother. She loved me and took good care of me.

When I think about it, I regret a little bit that I had urged my father to take revenge on her by exposing the affair. Well, that was a lie.

“Eh? Doesn’t Allie-chan sound subtle enough? I guess so… Then how about Parker-chan?”

“No, can you stop calling me that?”

The unexpected designation unintentionally brings out the bare bones of my mind.

“…Eh?”

For a moment, Kirari’s eyes shook in confusion.

It must be because of the change in my attitude.

… Oops. I should not have done that.

I wanted to stop using the last name – the part that is my last name – because it only gives me a bad image of myself.

My father has a soft spot for me, but at the same time he hates me because of my resemblance to my mother.

Yes, in other words, there are quite a few memories that I can’t talk about, so I wish she would be more careful.

“Nihihihi. Parker is a first name in Japan, right? That’s stranger behavior, you know☆.”

However, it was not convenient for me to show my true self.

I immediately returned to my original character of “the sunny blonde big-b*****ed Onee-san”, and smiled.

Then Kirari’s cheeks relaxed in relief.

“Oh, that’s right! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll call you Mea-chan then. It’s not very funny, but it’s the way I feel most comfortable.”

“Okay♪ The way Kirari likes it is the way I like it the most!”

“Nyahaha. You say the nicest things, don’t you?”

Okay, communication was good.

It was smooth sailing, except for the fact that I suddenly felt like dying when I objectively looked at myself having a stupid conversation like this. If I were to talk about it in an American way, would I say it was all green? No, maybe I’ve seen too many movies.

“I wonder what Kirari was reading?”

I made her a little nervous earlier. I want to loosen her guard a bit more, so I try to chat with her further.

I asked her about the light novels she has, thinking it would be a good conversation starter, and she responded more than I expected.

“This? It’s a lovey-dovey love comedy in which a transfer student, a beautiful blonde girl, loves the main character just as the title says, and it is very interesting!”

She told me with a nice smile.

I guess she really likes light novels, but the contents… overlap a little too much with my own, and it hurts my heart.

“Hmm-hmm? By the way, is that book successful?”

“Huh? Unfortunately, I heard it was discontinued after two volumes.”

“… Wasn’t she good enough to be a heroine?”

The heroine of that work is just like me.

The blonde, big-b*****ed heroine who was a transfer student is nothing more than a colorful character.

I guess she was too insignificant to be a main heroine.

For example, she could be a childhood friend of the protagonist.

Or the protagonist and his bride-to-be.

Or someone the protagonist longs to be with.

Without that kind of added value, a character of color may not be the main focus.

…No, that’s enough.

I’ve given up on being a heroine.

I can’t be part of the story, I’m just a losing character.

So I decided to stay out of the story and work in the shadows as a creator.

Now that we’ve had this conversation, Kirari’s guard should be down.

I think it’s time to get down to business.