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Shizun 015 - Formally entering the household

Everyone kn the underworld knows that the Yanluo palace lord was practically heart sick over the matter of the Yunzhen immortal. Anyone who can help the immortal during one of his reincarnations are practically guaranteed to get a raise and a promotion, it was simply fantastic.

Unfortunately, the whole thing was hidden as a divine secret. No one could actually find the immortal, and whether or not they could get that promotion chance was based purely on luck.

Today, the Yunzhen immortal actually proactively reached out, only a fool would give up this chance!

Wang Laosi is an old hand and quite good at cultivation. He dashed over as soon as he heard the news, using his chain and the ghost to trip up 4 or 5 coworkers on the way to secure this chance.

Lu Yunzhen was very moved, “Are all the underworld officials so dedicated?”

Wang Laosi puffed his chest with pride, “At your service!”

He saw Jin Yunu, and immediately pulled out a book of life and death. After checking the demon’s life, he respectfully presented it for Lu Yunzhen to view.

Lu Yunzhen took his time to check that the skin painting demon hadn’t done anything that went against the worlds natural order. He was just... some what immoral and often seduced lustful men for yang energy. And the most he did was to make them a little ill for a few days.

By modern standards he was a petty criminal. It’s not enough for prison, but enough for jail.

Jin Yunu felt wronged, “But this one needs to live”...

In the latter day of the Dharma, spiritual energy is thin in the mortal realm. A skin painting demon can only survive by eating yang energy, surely one can’t be expected to starve?

He’s always very careful and always picked casual gongzi such as Long Jingtian who liked to wander amongst flowers. It was never forced and he always made sure the other party got what they asked for. For faithful people like Long Xingbang and Director Wang, he considered doing the unspoken rules for a while but gave up.

Long Jingtian got even more angry listening to this conversation. This bastard has played around even more than him, and from the sounds of it he usually bottomed. Why did he end up switching positions with Long Jingtian?

This isn’t fair!

 He wanted to question him some more, but he didn’t want his father to know anything, so resorted to simply glaring at Jin Yunu. Unfortunately he still only had one slit left for an eye and it had no effort whatsoever.

Jin Yunu looked at him for a while, and finally grasped his problem. Reservedly, he explained, “Long Gongzi, you had drank quite a bit and couldn’t get it up, but I had to follow the unspoken rules...”

He simply must get that role.

If the mountain won’t move then the path must simply move around the mountain. They’re both men anyway, there’s no need to be hung up over these things, right? Unspoken rules didn’t include a clause saying who needs to be on top, if he managed to get it to work then it works.

For actors, it was a normal matter to sing for the wealthy during the day and during the night. He had to say in the matter and had to do whatever the patrons wanted. Some people liked to bottom, what could he do? That’s why he had to make sure he was good at both.

And he did do good!

Long Jingtian saw that he wasn’t ashamed at all and got even more angry.

Long Xingbang is a more uptight person and didn’t understand the implication of the conversation, and thought his son got drunk and did something shameful to the demon. He sighed and yelled at his son again. “This is what you deserve! Who told you to go around sowing oats?!”

Jin Yunu nodded in sympathy.

Long Jingtian felt like his chest was getting stuffy and he didn’t want to talk anymore.

Lu Yunzhen confirmed with everyone that they were find with him taking charge of the matter, and no longer seek any responsibility from Jin Yunu.

He asked Wang Laosi, “What is the process for getting Jin Yunu to reincarnate?”

“The underworld has quite a bit of red tape, for a regular person it takes maybe 4, 5 years,” Wang Laosi admitted. “Skin painting demons belong in the category of evil spirits and need to be questioned and investigated so they take much longer. Even if we expedite matters for you, sir, it’ll still take many years. Plus the area that they lock up demons are filled with quite a lot of terrible demons, and probably this one is not suited...”

Jin Yunu is very weak and has little ability to protect himself, plus he was beautiful. It was like throwing a lamb to the wolves.

Lu Yunzhen really felt bad about the matter.

Jin Yunu became terrified and started crying for help.

Wang Laosi then recommended, “Sir can send this demon to a major cultivation sect, so he can receive some training, cultivate goodness, be released from his demon form, and have a good reincarnation.”

This seems to be similar to what Mo Changkong just said.

Lu Yunzhen was even more conflicted. He’s just a compsci student, where was he going to find a major sect? But if he took Jin Yunu home he couldn’t afford it...

Wang Laosi glanced at the two older men and continued, “If this demon could receive some incense and prayer, it would also be of great benefit to his reincarnation.”

Long Xingbang has regained his usual business shrewdness and immediately understood what he meant. Understanding that evil spirits must avoid resentment, he smiled, “The Long family more or less knows this demon, we’re willing to provide some incense money and create some good karma.”

Lu Yunzhen wavered when he heard the words “incense money”.

Mo CHangkong knows that Shizun had always lived frugally, and that the situation has gotten worse due to his eating habits. He’s been thinking for a long time about how to relieve Shizun of his burden and immediately opened his mouth. “Us at Wujian sect can look after this demon, you should send a thousand in incense money every month.”

Lu Yunzhen was flushing a bit. He thought it was too aggressive and that 500 would have been enough. But Mo Changkong had already said it and he couldn’t take it back, so he simply added, “It’s a good act. You only need to do so until he reincarnates.”

“That’s so little, we can’t accept that.” Long Xingbang immediately responded, “If the master won’t mind, could I... send two thousand?”

Flowers of happiness bloomed in Lu Yunzhen’s heart.

His golden goose’s golden goose is so generous! This skin painting demon is his now, no one else can take him away!

He did his best to play it cool and put on the face of a cultivator again, calmly waving his hand, “Alright, let it be so.”

Jin Yunu was overjoyed. He peeled his skin off of the wooden board, rolled up in mid air, hesitated for a moment, and flew into lu Yunzhen’s arms.

Mo Changkong plucked the drawing out of his arms with a cold expression.

Seeing that the matter was settled, Wang Laosi once again showed his 8 yellow teeth and bid his farewells. “If the immortal has any other issues, you can summon me directly with a burning. I’m under the command of the Hepan palace, Wang Laosi for Haiping city Changle district Fuqiang street. I am familiar with this job and will be at your service.”

Lu Yunzhen was really grateful, “Thank you.”

He remembered Wang Laosi’s job title. If the underworld has a rating system he’ll be sure to leave a 5 star review.

Wang Laosi cheerfully went back to face the wrath of his coworkers.

Lu Yunzhen did one more check around the manor and made sure there are no other spirits involved. Worried that if he chatted he might reveal his lack of knowledge, he turned down Long Xingbang’s offer of a meal and ride, and headed home with Mo Changkong and Jin Yunu.

That high end district really was the pits.

He had to walk for 2 km to get to a bus!

...

The Wujian sect was born 2 hours ago. The building was 34 square meters. One bed, one bath, one kitchen, and one living room. The place felt immensely lived in, with pots and bowls all over the place and posters of animated movies on the walls.

Jin Yunu was stunned.

The thought that such an amazing master must have some kind of spiritual mountain, or at least some kind of temple? Why is this place so run down? Is this some kind of special cultivation method?

With living expenses on hand, Lu Yunzhen didn’t want to hide things from him. He explained his status as a master and said, if Jin Yunu didn’t like it he can go ask Longling temple if they have room...

How could Jin Yunu possibly put up with being a monk? He refused to believe that a normal human can tame a great demon like Mo Changkong, and he refused even more to believe that a regular person can make an underworld official so subservient.

He flew around the house wanting to compliment the fengshui, only to realize that the aura is all wrong. The spiritual power was immensely thick, it was multitudes better than the treasured cultivation spots in the sects!

How does something this good even exist in the mortal realm?

He slowly lowered his head looking for the source of the powers, and realized with a shock that the house was simply filled with rare spiritual stones and cultivation sigils. The bed, the desk, the living room.... Even the toilet had a spiritual gathering array!

Witin the sects, spiritual stones were immensely rare, and only the direct inheritors could get 1 or 2. And there are several hundred in this house.

How extravagant.

What kind of golden thigh did he manage to latch onto! It’s so thick and strong! Who cares about reincarnation? He can cultivate to immortality like this! He’s going to butter them up and suck up to them like there’s no tomorrow! In the best case scenario he can be a disciple. Even a small dribble that falls out of Shizun’s hands would be more than enough for him!

His eyes were practically shining.

Mo Changkong could see his ambitions and laughed coldly. He grabbed the useless skin and threw it into the yard, ordering, “You only deserve to be here.

The yard had a lot less spiritual energy than in the house.

Jin Yunu was about to tear up from the injustice.

Lu Yunzhen just received the living fees and felt a little bad. Stopping Mo Changkong, he said, “don’t be like this, let him stay in the living room.”

“It is a Wujian sect rule that only inner disciples can be in the house,” Mo Changkong said confidently. “Shizun, if you put a human skin in the living room, aren’t you worried someone might accidentally see it and get scared?

Lu Yunzhen thought about it, and agreed that it was troublesome.

He found a sturdy materials and some scraps. After a little hammering he had set up a pretty little house in the yard.

It blocked the wind and rain, but it did look like a dog house...

Jin Yunu wanted to fight a little more for better treatment.

Mo Changkong glanced at him, grabbed a dozen stones, set up a little spiritual gathering array in the dog house, and changed the setting so it was made for demons.

Jin Yunu immediately stopped feeling wronged. He happily moved into the dog house, saying that it was a treasured spot according to Fengshui and that he’ll fight to the death for it!

Skin painting demons are the best at washing clothes, cleaning up, and watching the house! He will properly take care of the two great masters!

Lu Yunzhen saw that he liked the setup and was relieved.

Mo Changkong decided that he was going to wait for Shizun before properly intimidating and educating this restless guy. He had to make sure that Jin Yunu knew his place, stay quiet, and go reincarnate when it’s time. He cannot say nonsense nor expect statuses that he didn’t deserve.

Before, he was always annoyed when Shizun picked up this kind of garbage.

In this life, their life meant they didn’t have choice. Shizun needed someone to help with the house work anyway, and Jin Yunu was quite smart and suitable.

He was just worried that he would be too smart and try to barge in.

Shizun was always great, and never went back on his word. It was only in this part where he had changed his words and fooled Mo Changkong twice.

The first time was when he picked up some 5 or 6 year old brat from the human realm. Apparently he was some kind of crown prince. The king was a terrible ruler and the inner palace was in turmoil. The Queen had been demoted, treasured concubines had gained powers, and she had even falsified evidence saying the prince was misfortune and had to be sacrificed to the heavens.

Shizun had saved the kid from the execution ground and took great care of him.

Mo Changkong was mad! He made all kinds of trouble!

Shizun reassured him saying, “This kid has no talent for the sword and isn’t suited to cultivating here. I’m going to look after him for two years and send him to cultivate with a friend.”

He believed him, and even helped preparing the curriculum.

Unfortunately, that brat was a little antique that cared greatly for rules. He would wake up at every morning and study the sword. He was never afraid of hard work or difficult work, and moved Shizun with this perseverance. This is how he became the second disciple!

This is He Jinnian!

This is the tattle tale bastard that kept reporting his misdeeds to Shizun!

The second time, Shizun had brought back a palm sized ball of white fur from some hill. It was a newborn fox that was abandoned by the pack for being born disabled.

Again, he was disgusted by how carefully Shizun took care of him.

Shizun had coaxed him again, saying, “After we raise the fox, he’ll be able to take care of himself and we’ll release him back to the wild.”

He believed, and helped Shizun take care of the fox, feed it milk, make it food, brush its fur, burp it, take care of its poop and pee. He did all kinds of dumb stuff.

And then, the fox played cute and threw a fit, refusing to let go of Shizun. And just with his fluffy and cute appearance, forcibly became his third shidi!

That’s A-Sui!

The shamless bastard who spent all day fighting with Shixiong for Shizun’s attention and always asked for Shixiong’s help when he needed to get revenge on someone!

Mo Changkong took a deep breath and repressed his anger.

He already reflected deeply when he was imprisoned. He can’t do anything that would hurt Shizun or try to monopolize Shizun again. Older brothers are like fathers. Fatherly love is like a mountain. Let’s forgot about his two garbage Shidis.

It was anyone’s fault that Shizun liked it when things are lively.

But... If Lu Yunzhen wanted to take a fourth disciple...

No way in hell!