So You Like Me Too

As he calmly looked at the illusion of Fu Xueyan, the corners of his mouth slowly rose, but he felt sadder and sadder in his heart when he thought that his nasty thoughts must have surely been found out.

Fu Xueyan stood at a distant place, looking at Shen Lin foolishly smiling at him. And a heartache which he had never felt before rushed forth suddenly. Does this little fool like me that much? Stop laughing, tears are going to come out of your eyes.

His mind, which was tangled up for a few days, instantly became relieved. Where did these feelings always come from? A good impression is the beginning of love. If there is no beginning, how can love increase?

He wanted to give himself some time so that he could love Shen Lin even more. And he also wished to give the little fool a chance.

He hung his suit in his hand and walked up to Shen Lin. Fu Xueyan saw that he was standing spellbound. So he extended out his hand and waved it in front of Shen Lin, “What are you doing?”

Shen Lin didn’t expect his illusion to talk. He blinked his eyes for a while, only to find that this Fu Xueyan was the real one. He became startled all of a sudden and his face became red. He hastily said, “Listening….listening to the song.” 

Fu Xueyan raised his eyebrows and glanced at the wandering artist who was playing the guitar. He asked him with a smile, “Is it good?”

“Good …….”

Fu Xueyan held out his suit to him. He then winked at him and said, “Let me help you listen to something better.”

He turned around and went to talk with the wandering artist. Shen Lin stood there clutching his jacket and was so nervous that his whole body was shaking. What was Fu Xueyan going to do? Is it what he thinks it is?

After negotiating with him, Fu Xueyan got hold of the guitar. He stood in the middle of the street wearing a shirt and pants. He looked so handsome that it was difficult for people to take their eyes away from him. He did a simple tuning and turned his eyes towards Shen Lin and smiled at him. He sang, 

                   “I forgot how it started. 

                    Maybe you feel the same. 

                    Suddenly I found myself deeply in love with you, it’s really simple ……”

Shen Lin quietly listened to Fu Xueyan singing for him. In the unending flow of the crowd, it seemed that only he and Fu Xueyan were standing still. He had been liking Fu Xueyan for so many years now. And he thought that he won’t leave Fu Xueyan again in this lifetime. And then he began to become greedy and he wasn’t able to be content with just what he had.

Shen Lin grew up in a very strict family. His father was a very strict martial arts instructor and has never shown him a smiling face from his[SL] childhood itself. Shen Lin was an understanding child, so he had never disobeyed any word of his father, except for two times. The first time was when he had fought for Fu Xueyan. On that day, he was punished to stand in the horse stance for half a day in the courtyard. And the second time was also for Fu Xueyan. They separated in their ways the year of their graduation. In that year, Fu Xueyan took the exam in a distant city. 

Separation was a painful thing. Although he hasn’t had any communication with Fu Xueyan for so many years, he just needed to have a look at him from afar. But in the future, even a little hope can’t be fulfilled.

And during that half a year of separation with Fu Xueyan, he came out of the closet with his father. And he did it because Xiang Fei told him that Fu Xueyan liked boys. He doesn’t know why he did it at that moment. But at that moment, he just wanted to make himself dignified and become a person in the same world as Fu Xueyan.

On the summer vacation of his senior year, he was thrown out of his house by his angry father. With a wounded body he went to find Xiang Fei. Xiang Fei saw that his shirt was soaked in blood and he was choking with sobs, “Good boy, Is it worth doing this much?”

Shen Lin held the passbook which was secretly slipped to him by his mother and a house key while not knowing what to do. Xiang Fei followed him to the new house. After reaching there, Shen Lin turned on the lights and said, “I just… I just want to wait till the day I get the courage to meet him again and tell him that I like him. I just have myself and I don’t have any ties or worries. I know the chance is really low. And I know that maybe I won’t have the chance to meet him ever again in my life. But I just want to do something for him and something for me too.”

He thought for a moment and asked, “Xiang Fei, am I being delusional?”

Xiang Fei’s eyes were red. He just wanted to go and hug, but he didn’t dare to touch him, “No. You do so much for him. Maybe he will know about this someday.”

“Will he come back to San Qingli?”

“Yes.”

“So is it okay if I wait for him?”

“Yes.”

Shen Lin took his mother’s passbook and completed his graduation while working part-time. And after he graduated he rented a small store. The business could be neither considered as bad nor as good. And there was nothing much special about the store either. It was just that it was adjacent to an office building. He thought that if Fu Xueyan had graduated, would he be so good that he would become a great elite? He should be working in a building like this too. So does this count as getting closer to him?

He was having an uneventful life and he would occasionally sneak back to see his parents. But his father no longer wanted to recognize him.

Every day, he repeated this day after day. He thought that his life would be spent like this. He didn’t know whether he would still be able to love Fu Xueyan being regardless of everything like this in his next life too. Perhaps he will think about saying his feeling in his next life. He really can only wait for his next life.

But on one morning, Fu Xueyan came in with the ding dong of the wind chimes to ask for a cup of latte.

It was like his life had brightened up again.

Shen Lin looked at Fu Xueyan giving back the guitar to the wandering artist. He stood waiting by the side while holding Fu Xueyan’s coat. His heart was filled with both sweet and sour, which was indescribable to him. He believes that all he has now is a gift to him for those years of silent love.

On their way back, they walked through the street silently. Shen Lin thought of opening his mouth several times but then held it back. He had an urge to directly confess to him. But he has been liking him for a long time now. So he didn’t know where to start. 

Fu Xueyan saw that Shen Lin wanted to say something but was hesitating. So he softly placed his hand on his head and rubbed it twice, “Shen Lin.”

“En.”

“Did I sing well?”

Shen Lin was still immersed in the scene that happened just then and he heavily nodded, “Yes.”

Fu Xueyan stopped him by the roadside. He placed both his hands on Shen Lin’s shoulders and stared at him with a pair of serious eyes, “There is one thing for which I want to ask your permission.”

Shen Lin bowed his head and looked at the corner of his shoes, feeling expectant. He didn’t dare to look at his eyes, “What?”

Fu Xueyan looked at Shen Lin’s blushing ears and found it to be really adorable. He resisted the urge to give him a kiss and said with a serious expression which he seldom shows, “I would like to pursue you. Can I?”

“I have a crush on you. Will you give me a chance to pursue you?”

Shen Lin looked at Fu Xueyan in a daze, not understanding what he meant. He subconsciously said, “I don’t need you to pursue me.”

“Why?”

Shen Lin became nervous and his whole body went stiff. He secretly cheered himself up, hoping that he could speak out regardless of any consequences: “I …… I li……”

Before his words were finished, Fu Xueyan gently covered his mouth and then winked at him, “Don’t tell it to me now. Tell me after you stop blushing or being nervous on seeing me.”

He saw that the water droplets were about to fall from the eyes of Shen Lin, which shone on reflecting the light rays. He slowly bent down his head and kissed the back of the hand which was covering Shen Lin’s lips. “I want to give you an opportunity to understand me and an opportunity for me to pursue you too. 

Shen Lin was taken back home by Fu Xueyan while he was still in a daze. His brain was so muddled that he didn’t even dare to believe that all that had happened today was actually real. He picked up the cup that Fu Xueyan had given him, from his bedside and stroked the small guitar design on it. After looking at it for a while, he gently pressed the cup on his lips and kissed it. Then just when he was about to place it back, he received a message from Fu Xueyan. “Did you go to bed?”

Shen Lin placed the cup on one side, feeling flustered. Although he was in his house right now, his face still became very red. As if he was caught doing something wrong.

He took his phone and quickly replied, “Not yet.”

“Were you thinking about me?”

Shen Lin didn’t expect him to ask so directly. After editing for half a day, he finally send him an “En”

Just after the message was sent, a phone call from Fu Xueyan arrived. He said with a voice which carried a smile, “Why didn’t you call me if you miss me?”

“I …… was afraid that I would disturb your rest.”

“Did I disturb your rest by calling you now?” 

“No no.”

“Look, I’m not affecting your rest, then how can you affect mine?”

“But……”

“I was really hoping that you would call me today. But it is a shame that I didn’t receive a call from you even after waiting for half a day.”

“I……”

Fu Xueyan sighed and his sigh contained his grievances. “You rest early. I will continue to wait for a heartfelt phone call.” After saying this Fu Xueyan took the initiative to cut the call spontaneously. Shen Lin’s heart panicked on hearing the busy tone from the phone. He did not think much before hurriedly calling him back, “Fu Xueyan, I called you now. Can you, can you talk to me for a while?”

The next day, when he came downstairs Shen Lin saw that Fu Xueyan’s car was parked by the gate but the person was not in it. He stood next to it and waited for a while to see Fu Xueyan coming from outside his area while carrying breakfast in his hands. When he saw Shen Lin standing next to the car he smiled and shouted out to him.

When Shen Lin saw that Fu Xueyan was coming over he still became a bit nervous. Last day after they hung up their phone, he gave himself a bit of time to work out his thoughts. Since the time they met again, it has been a bit difficult for him to talk to Fu Xueyan naturally. For most of the time, he just listened silently or just looked at Fu Xueyan in order to not make the situation awkward. He felt that he has been really introverted, wrapping up himself tightly and not daring to express his feelings. In the past, he felt that his fate with Fu Xueyan had come to an end after graduating from high school. But he got to meet his favorite person again after many years. He wanted himself to be a bit braver. He thought that he will be able to fulfill that wish from those three years of summer vacation. And that he would be able to unreservedly tell Fu Xueyan about his feelings. Shen Lin was a bit introverted but he was never stupid. He wanted to seize this opportunity which was hard to come by in life.