Suffocate My love

‍‍‍‍‍‍‍Herim picked a cup of water from the shelves and carried it to Adrian who was seating at Valian's doorstep.

He kneeled next to him and presented the item .Adrian ignored Herim so he tried to touch his face but  Adrian reacted by violently pushing his arm far off and spilling the water . 

" Your body is weak!", he argued with him

He pretend he couldn't hear him so he told Adrian to stop blaming himself.

Adrian once again displayed a degree of ignorance while Herim kept on talking. Herim understood that Adrian is very melodramatic and tends to act spoilt therefore he is more likely begging for attention sitting here than trying to do anything productive. If anything he would be waiting for Kijad but definitely not praying for Valian 

" Just back off! '",  Adrian screamed and attacked him with a thunderbolt that flew him across the room. 

" You are slave . You are supposed to prioritize everyone. Where were you when Valian was fighting for his life? ',

Herim was shocked. Anyway he tried to stand towards Adrian but Adrian threw another thunder bolt and ordered Herim to disappear. 

****

It was nearing midnight and almost everyone was gathered around the fire, eating. Syin and the workers had not returned from herb-gathering so it was rather alarming. But it didn't quite make sense why everyone seemed so nonchalant about it . 

Ryle questioned the monk and he replied that Syin had long came back but he wouldn't come inside because the herbs he has brought back were useless when ripe . He had to dry them which would take atleast three months. For this reason , Syin had made a big fire but the sudden heat  burned the herbs to a crisp instead. He then clarified that Syin couldn't go and get more herbs as that would be pointless since he still needs to dry them. 

Ryle sighed deeply and journeyed to the backyard a few steps . He hadn't walked a distance before he sighted a humongous wolf clawing the treetrunk.

The workers had surrounded him and they were reasonably horrified to approach.

Ryle waved his hand and after a brief debate , they walked away.

Syin's talons were bleeding and his eyes blood red . Ryle knew that if he approached Syin , he might wound him but if Ryle leaves him , Syin will eventually injured himself.

" Syin! It's me , Song Ryle!", He whispered slowly stepping towards him but knew he couldn't near him so he walked closer and placed his hand on him.

Syin shockingly jumped and tried to attack him but Ryle backed off. He launched to kick Ryle , yet again he dodged the blow. As his paw aimed for his face , Ryle slid under him and flew off. Syin's wolf body had grew so much in the past few months thanks to puberty and the fact that he works out a lot. Right now , he is almost twice as big as a grizzly bear. Therefore the more Ryle sought to escape, Syin had already trapped him . 

As he pirrouted onwards, fearing losing his flesh to Syin's razor claws, Syin half-transformed mid-air back to partial-human form which means he left his lower body covered in fur while his upper looked like a hybrid of a dragon and a man. This form awarded him the ability to deliver spells to Ryle who cooled them with ice shields and similar spikes . He dashed atleast ten more leaves which Ryle destroyed with a slash of his ice snake . Meanwhile that Syin tried to kick him but Ryle caught the leg and flipped Syin.

He thought he could take the opportunity to swerve away but Syin gained momentum and launched back onto him . Ryle twisted and cast snow onto the ground. The snakes germinated then pulled and firmly bound Syin , causing him to fall supine . Ryle landed a bit far off. 

Syin was jailed from all limbs thus he screamed and roared fighting off the bounds. Since they were ice cold and his upper body was just flesh, he was getting further bruised.

As he fought and fought, tears fell from his tears . His hair began decorated in sad and some of his blood from scrapping in the ground.He huffed and bellowed  as if he was being burned alive. Ryle then realized that Syin was now fighting out of grief and not anger .

He walked to him and climbed over his body. He tried to stop him since he was hurting himself but it was no use since he kept struggling and screaming. Ryle didn't know how to shut him up so he intuitively placed his hand over his mouth and what came out were sorrowful muffles .

Empathy nearly consumed Ryle to the point that he got emotional and teary . To see sweet Syin in such a cruel state was just unspeakably heartwrecking. Maybe because Syin isn't too expressive , no one really knows the depths of his sensitivity or his care. To others it may seem like he is tad bit overreacting but if one carefully considers this , the truth is Valian was basically Syin's wall and now his world feels as if it is falling to pieces without that sort of support. And probably the worst part is that he knows if he didn't leave Valian alone ,then he probably could have saved him . Ryle let his guard down and Syin broke free. He tossed him and the tables turned. 

Immediately then his fist lit up as he aimed to punch Ryle . Ryle covered his own face with his arms to block damage . Thinking that he would receive paralyzing blows ,once were he wouldn't retaliate to because he would never hurt Syin, the next thing he received was a breeze over his body .

Slowly he let down his arms and saw that Syin had fallen over to the side and was crying.

He sat up and stared at him . He contemplated to reach over to him but unfortunately because of the fighting, his body was still ice , if he touched Syin he might give him a bad cold. For this reason he lowered his hand and took off his coat to cover Syin. 

He had never seen anyone cry like this not even Adrian nor Herim . Of course even when he did see them, he did feel pinched however now he feels absolutely terrible because there is nothing he can do to make Syin feel better except stay with him like this. 

Ryle dressed Syin up and Syin stared to talk about the betrayal he did to his cousin. 

Although they fought sometimes and Valian was too much of a bootlicker, he did abandon everything out of will for Syin. Otherwise out of rage , the sect would have been disabled had Syin went alone .

What happened was , Valian had a planned to become a guard and Syin wanted to leave his father's clutches thus started to act illmannered . During this period, Syin got in trouble with his father and Valian comforted him. One day ,Syin enrolled for the sect and Valian told Syin's father that he will follow Syin and protect him. Joln then tagged along since Valian was nagging him and talking about the obligation of a wolf and friendship. Valian acted more like his brother than anyone and he was always there for him. He would secretly teach him how to fly since he can't do that and would teach him all the things the others feared to tell him from things like drinking alcohol to body art all the way up to the art of seduction. 

He was always there but at the time when he needed him the most , Syin was out .Basically that means because of Syin's need to be free , he robbed Valian of his freedom and because of Syin's moods that made him leave the tent , he feels like he contributed to Valian's condition. All in all , hadn't Syin wanted to rid of his father, Valian wouldn't have came here and he wouldn't be dying!  The main reason why he was out was because of Ryle . He was trying to avoid Ryle so he lingered far away when everyone went to bed . 

He would like to blame Ryle for always bothering him that he actually had to leave but that is just denial. Him not having command of his head and his feelings is the main catalyst than Ryle. Furthermore Ryle never did approach Syin as much as it seems but whenever Syin looked through the crowd, he would find Ryle's eyes on him. 

Ryle pulled Syin into his hug and then proceeded to wipe his tears . He had already forgotten that his hand is still ice to the point that touching Syin caused snowflakes to fall .

Syin turned his head for the first time and he looked at Ryle who was tearing up. 

Ryle's face was part glass so his purple eyes dropped snowflake-like tears. The design and manner descension replicated fairytale magic than it did tears . This gave him the appearance of subnormal entity bred by a demon of lust and persuasion. 

Because it was late and cold , the moon made it look like Ryle's is reflecting the stars . Lose strands of hair that invaded his face were no different from ripples of water . His lips were unnaturally red and ripe but they didn't look appetizing since they were like a gorgeous mosaic. Whatever sort of supreme power made Ryle, Syin is definitely thanking it right now.

Feeling his chest tightening,he looked away . Meanwhile Ryle wiped off his own tears. 

***

Back in the house , through the door leading to the backyard, Joln watched as his boyfriend was cajoling Syin.

An unheard level of pain blast throughout his spirit. It didn't make sense how Ryle could be so supportive of Syin in such a manner. Of course he is the prince but shouldn't Ryle prioritize Joln before Syin? He is also affected because he is very close to Valian than Syin. 

" What does he mean when he says he should have stayed? Why did he leave the tent?",Joln asked himself as the tears fell successively to the ground.

Now that he thinks of it , when he returned to camp, he didn't see Syin nor Ryle anywhere. According to Syin's words , Ryle and Syin didn't go and help Adrian and Kijad . Does that mean they were together? Does that also means that Ryle went to go look for Syin and not him? 

He swallowed a pit of saliva that was welling in his mouth. He felt an overwhelming degree of heaviness so he turned away. 

As he walked off, Herim emerged into the space , heard him crying.

Of course like all the other times , his heart before his logic was first to recognize Joln . Even in a dim lit corridor, he could clearly make out Joln's body and features . 

His palms ached and his esophagus throbbed. As his ears lost pressure , his feet gained stamina. He shook off the feeling of indifference generated by Adrian and walked up to him. 

Expecting that Joln would walk off , he didn't! Joln just kept on sobbing!

Herim proceeded to get even closer to Joln. His cries were so vivid as much as his breath and subtle gagging. His muscle motion was emanate in Herim despite the absence of helpful light.Herim's heart somersaulted and his pulse quicken . He could almost feel his blood rushing and his muscles tensing. 

He was close to Joln so he elevated his arms to try and hug Joln 

For no reason, Joln turned around as if to lodge himself inside Herim's arms but instead he walked past him and added insult  to injury by carelessly and thoughtlessly hitting him on the shoulder. 

Herim remained in that position, his face frozen and his heart sunk. Joln's boots trailed away and with them the colour in Herim's eyes. 

His skull felt a sudden weight and aggression . He unintentionally half-blinked and started to arbitrarily chuckle. He cackled as the tears fell and would muffle a giggle between the streams. Without realizing it , his legs gave up and he fell to his knees . Every breath he released , one more tear escape out of his eyes and onto the ground .

Chuckling turned to him facing the roof and sobbing pitifully. his hands ended up falling flat to the ground with palms facing the sky

It felt ike an understatement to say that it hurts . The turmoil in his soul was pushing him over the edge little by little. No matter how much he tries to ignore the pain, it is slowly eating him alive.Living is becoming less and less attractive with the more he tries to endure it. 

He fell for Adrian but he is disgusted of him. Then he tried to be friendly to everyone but they just bully him. Nalem and other masters treat him worse than the disciples. Just when he thought it would get better, he falls head of heels with Joln, who is also disgusted of him. Furthermore Joln has a fling with Ryle who can abuse power to punish Herim. Along the lines he started to befriend Syin but unfortunately Ryle ended getting in the way once again. He is now Syin's every thought and breath.

Like before , he is all alone and like before, he can't convince himself to stay alive discounting the subjective thought that no one will care if he died at the present moment. He is trying to show himself love since no one will remember and honour his memory .