Superstar From Age 0

Chapter 507

As Seo-jun’s worries grew longer, Kwon Se-ah asked him with a puzzled expression.

“Don’t tell me… you’ve never had any doubts?”

“Um. Yeah. Never.”

Kwon Se-ah’s eyes widened in surprise at Seo-jun’s nod.

“Really? Not even once? You never thought of doing something else when practice was hard or things didn’t go well?”

Seo-jun tried to recall his memories.

‘I never thought practice was hard, but… ah.’

Before filming [Shadowman 2], when the Library of Evil had not opened yet. He had thought that he would not do any work until he could use magic, or until he could perform a satisfactory villain role.

‘I don’t know why, but… luckily, the Library of Evil opened soon.’

Looking back, he felt that he was too extreme. He could have tried other ways to open the Library of Evil while filming other works.

‘Like training hard to hide my magic perfectly.’

Maybe it was because he was young, or because he was anxious about the situation that didn’t go his way, he had made such a vow with a fiery temper. He meant it at the time, but.

‘If the Library of Evil hadn’t opened, I would have wanted to film so badly that I would have broken that vow.’

He knew himself well, and he smiled inwardly as he opened his mouth.

“I did think of taking a break from work to study acting, but… I never wanted to do anything else.”

“Wow…”

Kwon Se-ah gaped at Seo-jun’s answer.

“You’re really an actor to the bone. Oppa.”

“Haha.”

He smiled happily as if he had received a compliment. Kwon Se-ah sighed and slumped her shoulders.

“Then you must find it hard to understand my worries.”

Kwon Se-ah had also lived only for the violin until a year ago, just like Seo-jun. She felt strange that she was having these doubts.

“I casually mentioned it to my parents once. How they would feel if I wanted to do something else.”

She said it like a sigh. She wanted to let it all out, even if she couldn’t get any advice. Like the barber who shouted that the king’s ears were donkey ears.

“My parents said I should do it after I established myself as a violinist, but… where is that point? Winning a concours? Or having a solo recital? Playing with a famous orchestra?”

How old would she be when she could do what she dreamed of?

She would get emotional and look up information about music directors whenever she had such thoughts. But when she tried to do something, she was afraid.

“I’m scared too. What if I fail on a new path?”

Failure.

It was a word that was too early for a 16-year-old who could try anything, but it was a word that felt real to Kwon Se-ah, who had already walked her own path.

“And I’m also worried about how other people will react.”

The first thing that came to her mind was her parents.

Her mom and dad, who had supported her financially and emotionally to get to where she was now.

“They spent a lot of money and time for me on the violin… They would be disappointed if I said I wanted to do something else.”

They might even stop her from doing it. Like in movies or dramas, there could be shouting and fighting. She was afraid that her peaceful family, her home, would change like that.

“And I also feel sorry for the professors, and I’m worried about the articles… There are many people who were geniuses when they were young, but became mediocre as they grew up.”

There were so many words and concerns that were filled with worry and sarcasm for the fallen geniuses.

If she failed on the path of a music director, she was afraid of the attention and criticism that would pour down on her.

“…But even though I’m worried about that… I don’t want to give up.”

Whenever she watched a movie or a drama, she always thought of the music that suited it. It was an inevitable, reflexive reaction.

“Really… what should I do?”

Listening to Kwon Se-ah’s story, which was full of worries and concerns about her future life and career, Seo-jun thought.

‘This must be normal.’

Seo-jun and Kwon Se-ah were bound to be different. No, Seo-jun and other people were bound to be different.

‘Because I have a next life.’

Because he had a next life, he could do it later if he couldn’t do it now, and because he had a next life, he could do what he wanted to do in this life with ease.

‘Because I’m just one of the many books in the library.’

He was just a very short time in human terms, just a few hours, just a few minutes.

He didn’t take one life lightly, but it was inevitable that Seo-jun’s attitude toward life was less serious than others.

‘And I don’t care much about the eyes of others…’

He had been kicked out or left on his own many times for doing what he wanted to do, like a gourmet orc who was banished from the orc tribe.

‘In that sense, I’m lucky in this life.’

The best thing was that his mom and dad supported his acting career.

‘What if my mom and dad had opposed me becoming an actor…’

He imagined his mom and dad’s faces as they opposed him seriously. But he didn’t think he would back down.

‘I’m a minor, so I don’t have much power in human society, so I would have endured until I became an adult…’

After that… hmm.

He swallowed his saliva at the extreme imagination, and Seo-jun felt that he could understand Kwon Se-ah’s feelings a little.

Still, as someone who had lived many lives, Seo-jun thought that it would be better to do what he wanted to do rather than worry about the eyes of others.

Regret is something that stays deep inside you, even when you don’t realize it, and it resurfaces someday.

‘Just like I’m fulfilling the dream of my first life now.’

It’s ‘my dream’ now, but.

He shrugged his shoulders and opened his mouth.

“It’s like a drama or a movie.”

“Huh?”

All of a sudden? She looked puzzled, and he smiled and said.

“It’s about people’s stories. From very young children to old people, all kinds of people appear. And they go through various situations and make different choices. There are quite a few characters who have the same worries as you in the works.”

“But that’s a movie.”

“It’s not a completely unrealistic story. There’s a reason why they say indirect experience. And reality is more crazy than movies.”

She nodded, saying that was true. He smiled and continued.

“I haven’t starred in them, but I’ve read a lot of works. There are characters who worry about their future like you, and there are characters who don’t worry about their future at all and just move forward like me.”

Her eyes sparkled.

“What happened to them? Those characters?”

“They all failed.”

“…Huh?”

“Or they succeeded.”

“…Huh?”

She blinked, unable to understand his words.

“You see, the characters who don’t worry about their future get into accidents.”

“All of a sudden?”

“It’s a movie. You have to create some incidents and accidents.”

He smiled and said.

“And then the story progresses from there. There are characters who overcome the accident and characters who don’t. The characters who don’t overcome it stay in the same place, but the characters who overcome it either continue their dream or find a new one.”

His soft voice continued.

He was telling the stories of his past lives in terms of movies. He remembered the lives he had lived as he pleased, but things didn’t go his way, like the gourmet orc.

“And the characters who are torn between different paths regret whatever they choose. The characters who followed their dream hit the wall of reality and regretted that they should have continued what they were good at, and the characters who followed what they were good at had lingering feelings for their dream and regretted it.”

She felt like she knew what he wanted to say.

“…So you mean, I’ll regret it no matter what I choose.”

“Yeah. You’ll regret any choice, so you have to make the decision yourself. The one that makes you regret less, the one that puts you first.”

He finished his sentence.

“In the future… no, you never know what will happen in a few hours.”

He had lived a lot, and death came unexpectedly.

Always the same day. He died from a stone thrown by someone, from eating a poisonous plant, from stepping on the wrong spot, from being stepped on by a passing dragon.

So he, his past lives, lived doing what he wanted to do, so he wouldn’t regret it when he died.

“Wouldn’t you regret it if you got hurt in an accident? I should have tried, you’d say. I think I’d regret it until I die.”

‘And even after I die.’

At the words of the experienced Seo-jun, Kwon Se-ah fell into thought.

If she knew the future, she could make a bold decision. But human’s future was too uncertain.

“Do you think I should do what I want, Seo-jun oppa?”

“Yeah. You must want it so much, since you’re worrying so much. And you’re only 16, so it’s okay to try different things until you’re 20, right?”

Her heart fluctuated like a metronome.

She cared less about other people after hearing Seo-jun’s words, but she was still too scared to let go of the violin.

The violin was, my everything.

“Then I’ll have to do both. Composing and playing the violin.”

Seeing her like that, Seo-jun gave her an advice that suited a ‘normal person’.

If it were his case, he would have given up everything else and pursued his dream, but Kwon Se-ah had only one life, and she was too young to decide what to do for the rest of her life.

At his words, Kwon Se-ah shook her head quickly.

“I can’t do that. They’re both too hard…”

“You haven’t tried it.”

“I don’t have to try it. I’m sure I’ll ruin both of them if I do both.”

He smiled bitterly at her confident words.

“Don’t think too hastily.”

“…Hastily?”

“I get that you’re anxious because you found your dream last year, and you realized that the violin you’ve been working hard on until now wasn’t really your dream.”

She flinched as if he had hit the mark.

“You think you have to start early, like the violin, for composing or music directing, right? You think it’s too late?”

She nodded at his words.

She felt like she was way behind others after finding her real dream. She felt like everything she had done until now was wrong, and the path she wanted to go back to was too far.

“It’s not too late to start now. No, it’s early. There are people who start later in life.”

There were adults who pursued their dreams late. She was too young to give up her dream.

“Don’t just think it’s impossible and try it slowly. Start with something small, like inserting your composed music into a short video. And keep playing the violin and see how it goes. If you have time to do both, if you have enough stamina.”

“Um.”

“Then, if you think you can handle this much, try taking on a longer video, and then a short film or an independent film’s music. Our school makes a lot of movies, too. By then, you’ll be able to make a decision. Whether you’ll go all the way as a music director, or just take on occasional requests like Professor Benjamin.”

She came to her senses and her eyes shone with determination.

“Yes! I’ll try that. I don’t know if I can do well, but!”

Her eyes, which had been cloudy with worries, seemed to be filled with hot passion. That passion must have brought Kwon Se-ah to where she was now.

“Thank you for the advice. Seo-jun oppa.”

He smiled at her bright face.