The Affectionate Film Emperor Only Loves Me

 

“Good afternoon, dear audience!”

 

Brother Tao appeared in front of the camera with a quirky face and the players stood behind him in groups.

 

[Good afternoon Brother Tao!]

 

[Good afternoon!]

 

“This afternoon’s game is called “You Catch Me”. We will compete in a two hundred meter obstacle course as a group.”

 

After Zhang Tao introduced the rules of the competition, Guang Ling gave him a puzzled look and raised an objection.

 

“Brother Tao, this competition doesn’t seem to have anything to do with food, does it?”

 

“You’ll know when you see the race track.”

 

Instead of giving a direct answer, Brother Tao tried to play tricks first.

 

[hahaha]

 

[I have a bold idea]

 

The group took a bus to the competition venue, and in order not to bore the viewers of the livestream, Tao Ge1Ge is like hyung (for men) and oppa(for women) in chinese. It means big brother(but they might or might not be blood related). proposed that each of them perform a small show.

 

Liu Jingjing and Guang Ling immediately nodded their heads; this was a great opportunity to express themselves in front of the audience and thus could not be missed. Shen Zhizhi and Du Tang also did not raise any objections and the proposal was settled.

 

The first to perform was Guang Ling, who sang the title track from his newly released album with a decent rhythm and technique, and the crowd applauded in a dignified manner.

 

[Ah! Brother sings so beautifully!]

 

[I’m going to drown in my brother’s song.]

 

Then came Liu Jingjing, who sang the theme song of one of her recent new plays. Her vocals were a little bit worse than Guang Ling’s, but it was no wonder, as Guang Ling started out as a singer, after all. The crowd also applauded.

 

[The goddess sings beautifully!]

 

[I just finished brushing up on the latest episode of Jinxiu Rong Hua starring the goddess, and now that I’ve heard the goddess singing this song, I’m going to brush it up again!]

 

Shen Zhi Zhi also sang a famous Cantonese song from the last century, with a melodious tune, and the crowd applauded.

 

[Goddess Shen is the best!]

 

[Wife, love you yo!]

 

Du Tang sang an English song with a beautiful melody and a clear voice.

 

[Ahhhhh, it’s so beautiful! My ears are pregnant, male god ah I want to give you monkeys!]

 

[Sooo good!]

 

By the time Du Tang finished singing, the crowd had not yet reached their destination. Tao Ge glanced at Lin Jianghe, who was sitting to the side listening to the song silently, and an idea suddenly came to his mind.

 

“Since we haven’t yet arrived at our destination and several teachers2In China, the seniors with some experience in an industry (especially art and entertainment) are referred to as ‘Laoshi’, which means ‘teacher’, as a form of respect. have already sung a song, so why don’t you sing a song for everyone too, Xiao Lin?”

 

Lin Jianghe didn’t expect Tao to turn the topic to himself, and said hesitantly, “I’m not professionally trained, I’m not very good at singing.”

 

Considering his plug-in3A plug in is a gaming term. It’s a cheat. Like when hackers just write a piece of code to override something in a game and give themselves cheats and boosts…., Lin Jianghe didn’t dare to say anything about his singing being hard to hear.

 

Zhang Tao, however, misunderstood his meaning, “It’s alright, just sing a random song to pass the time.”

 

“You have such a nice voice, you shouldn’t be too bad at singing either.”

 

Liu Jingjing smiled lightly and opened her mouth to persuade Lin Jianghe. It was unknown what kind of plan she had in mind.

 

[Looking forward to it!]

 

[Go for it, Little Crane!]

 

[Heh, what good song can an 18th line artist sing? My ears say no! I declare I’ve turned off the volume button, I’ll turn it back on when he’s done singing.]

 

[Good idea from the old man upstairs, add me to the list.]

 

Sitting in front of the monitor, Director Lee nodded in satisfaction. What’s this? This is the talk of the town! It wasn’t in vain that he asked Zhang Tao to give him4Lin Jianghe. Basically the director approves of Tao dragging MC into everything cuz his presence brings with it a lot of heat and excitement from the viewers. Heh…. at least somebody is enjoying the comments from the audience, because god help me, I certainly ain’t QvQ more screen time.

 

“In that case, I’ll give it a try.” Lin Jianghe nodded his head and didn’t push back any further.

 

After the song, this car became entirely quiet, and the pop-up screen also fell silent.

 

[What’s wrong? Why is there no one posting comments? Is it that hard to listen to? I knew I was smart enough to see through his beautiful skin and see the essence of this straw bag5草包 cǎo bāo straw bag(literally), A person who is useless, lacks knowledge and does things halfheartedly to show off. It’s homophone to caobao which means an idiot.!]

 

[Hahahaha, I’m really a genius! You all have nothing to say, I feel sorry for Goddess Jingjing who has to listen to him sing live, it’s so miserable!]

 

[Say something! Where are the crane fans? Say something! Didn’t you just have a lot to say?]

 

A few lonely pop-ups floated at the top of the screen, looking pathetic.

 

After a few minutes, the crowd finally snapped back to attention.

 

“You have a very special voice.”

 

Du Tang was the first to come back to his senses and gave Lin Jianghe a deep look. He obviously hadn’t expected him to reach such a level either.

 

Was this the voice of a human?

 

[Special? Doesn’t that mean ‘particularly hard to hear’? Ahahahahahaha ……]

 

[Emperor Du is a little too nice, a self-centered eighteenth line like this doesn’t deserve such an appraisal!]

 

[By the way, where are the CP fans who had been dancing so happily since this morning? Are they still fans? Is such a person worthy of God Du? What? Say something!]

 

[……]

 

[Stop embarrassing yourselves upstairs! I advise you to listen to the replay!]

 

[+1] 

[+1]

 

[Hahahaha, the biggest faceslap of the year is about to become a reality! I wonder what they’ll look like when they listen to the replay.]

 

[+100866you might’ve seen this number being repeated everywhere in chinese webnovels. Apparently, this number is actually a chinese hotline number used to avail phone related customer services. This number is normally used to A. Identify chinese players and B. Signify a large number. It’s kinda a meme ig….+1 means “I agree” and +10086 means “I really, really agree with you”.]

 

[I’ll rate this face slap as a whopping 100 percent!, I’m not afraid of you being embarrassed!]

 

[Hahahaha! That’s so funny!]

 

[Little brother, I’m begging you to make your debut in C position7The C was in English in the raws. If it’s not clear already, C stands for center position. This commenter is pleading LJH to debut as an idol in the C position because his voice is so good.!!]

 

[Ahhhhhhhhh]

 

[Mom, I think I just heard the voice of an angel!]

 

[Is little brother making an album? I’ll buy it even if I have to give up all my money!]

 

[I’m begging for an album!]

 

[If it already sounds so good on a screen, how much better would it sound if it’s live?! I’m crying!]

 

[Has anyone recorded it yet? I want to hear it again!]

 

[When is he going to have a concert?]

 

[I’m glad you’ve come down to earth8This commenter is basically using a witty way to say that LJH is an angel who came down to earth and that he’s glad that LJH decided to descend on earth and share his beautiful voice.!]

 

The crane fans were all amazed; they had never expected that their idol would sing so well!

 

The crowd at the scene looked at each other, dumbfounded9“(lit) You look at me, I look at you” This is kinda an idiom where people are looking at each other because they are too shocked about what happened. All of them seemed to have lost their voices at that moment.

 

A hint of envy flickered across Guang Ling’s eyes, “This rice was gifted by god for you to eat ah! We daren’t envy, we daren’t envy ah10“这就是老天爷赏饭吃啊！羡慕不来，羡慕不来啊” God gifted this food to you; born to eat this rice etc: being so talented in a particular area that it’s as if you were born to earn a livelihood by using that talent.

We dare not envy: Being so talented that you can’t even be envied; you can only be jealous of a person who you can compete with, since their talent is far above you, you can bow down and treat them like a god instead of comparing yourself with them and feeling jealous.

Ah: A sound you create while talking excitedly, exclaiming..”

 

“Yes, Jiang He, your singing voice is truly exceptional.”

 

Liu Jingjing smiled and nodded, but there was a deep resentment hidden beneath her eyes, she originally thought that Lin Jianghe was just a vegetarian11vegetarian: Somebody who doesn’t fight back, a beginner or amateur., his singing must not be as good as her own, so she wanted to drag him in and let him make a fool of himself, covering up her mistakes; she had been the worst singer out of the four who performed earlier her, after all. However, she never expected this ……

 

This was really shooting herself on her foot!

 

At this moment, the vehicle also reached its destination. The driver removed his earbuds and turned his head to remind everybody.

 

“Everyone, it’s time to get off.”

 

The crowd glanced at the earbuds in the driver’s hand and then shot him sympathetic looks, as if he had missed out on a billion.

 

The driver looked at the crowd with an innocent face, what’s wrong? Did he miss something?

 

At this point, the camera also panned over to give a shot of the expression of the confused Driver.

 

The pop-ups were buzzing with laughter.

 

[My heart goes out to the driver xiao ge12xiao ge literally means ‘little elder brother’. ‘Little’ is sometimes used to denote ‘poor’ or ‘pitiful’. Sometimes, it’s also used as an affectionate or cutesy way to refer to somebody. “Little elder brother driver” sounds weird and disrupts the flow of the story so I’m gonna stick with xiao ge (unless y’all have a better option to suggest)! He could have listened to the song live, but now he can only listen to the replay with us.]

 

[Seeing how miserable the driver is, I’m suddenly not so sad that I didn’t get to hear it live.]

 

[Yes, that’s right, he really missed out on a billion!]

 

[LOL!]

 

Sitting in front of the monitor, director Li and Gu Changfeng looked at each other and decided to give the poor driver xiao ge a pay rise because he was so miserable, he was like the most tragic soul of the year!

 

They wondered how Driver xiao ge would feel when he learns this news.

 

As the crowd walked ahead and calmed their minds, they were led by Zhang Tao to the venue for this afternoon’s race.

 

What Tao ge had said earlier was true, the entire facility was filled with all kinds of food-related material, which was indeed in line with the theme of their show.

 

“Each group will draw lots to determine the order of the competition.”

 

Tao ge took out a long-prepared draw box at the side, and the final order drawn was Group B (Shen Zhizhi) first, Group D (Guang Ling) second, Group C (Liu Jingjing) third, and Group A (Du Tang and Lin Jianghe) fourth.

 

The first level, ‘I Love Donuts’, was a row of cylinders with a diameter of two meters and a height of about one meter. The cylinders were decorated in the form of donuts, which looked very sweet and lovely.

 

The second level, ‘Rotating Pizza’, was a merging of several discs decorated to look like giant pizzas, and they were all moving with varying speeds.

 

The third level, ‘Climb to the Top’, was a ramp decorated to look like ice cream with a rope for support.

 

The fourth level, ‘Heat Duel’, was based on the idea that “if I run fast enough, the heat won’t catch up to me” and competitors must pass through the course within half a minute or they would fall into a sponge ball.

 

The track was fun, but not very difficult.

 

Shen Zhizhi and Wang Jiang were the first to go and quickly passed the first three levels. They fell once on the fourth level, but managed to pass on their second attempt as well, with a final time of three minutes and four seconds.

 

[The Goddess is so beautiful!]

 

[True to her name, she’s Goddess Shen!]

 

Guang Ling’s group didn’t perform as well. Guang Ling first fell off on the first level because of his bad balance. The second level also took some time.

 

The third level was completed with the help of Sun Ge because of his lack of arm strength, but the fourth level took a lot of time due to his lacking physical strength, and it took four minutes and fifty nine seconds for the obstacle course to be completed .

 

[Brother needs to work out more!]

 

[Nowadays, stars are getting worse than the previous generation, this little fresh meat’s13pretty face, good looking people who are useless, wallflowers. physical fitness is actually not as good as Goddess Shen’s.]

 

Liu Jingjing was even worse than Guang Ling, falling three times in the first level, twice on the second level, relying entirely on Qian Jin to pull her up on the third level, and failing to pass the fourth level at all, the game was finally ruled a failure.

 

[Go Jing Jing!]

 

Lin Jianghe glanced at the track in front of him and took a deep breath.

 

The first level was passed by Du Tang first, followed by Lin Jianghe. The second level was also passed narrowly. The third level saw Du Tang climb to the top first, while Lin Jianghe could only drag himself halfway up before feeling weak. He was barely holding on by this moment.

 

Unfortunately, his stomach began to churn again, and after forcing down the blood that was welling up in his throat, he had no more strength to climb up. He barely managed to tighten his hold on the rope to keep himself from falling.

 

[Come on, Little Crane!]

 

[Go for it!]

 

Perhaps because of the song he sang a while ago,, the audience in front of the screen treated Lin Jianghe much more gently than Guang Ling, and there were hardly any rude comments.

 

Du Tang soon noticed his strange state, “Hold on to the rope, I’ll pull you up.”

 

Lin Jianghe had no more strength to speak at this point.

 

With the help of Du Tang, Lin Jianghe managed to reach the top, and after he did so, he gave Du Tang a big smile.

 

His pale cheeks reflected his bright smile, making him look distinctly endearing.

 

[I feel so heartbroken for my cub.]

 

[Heartbroken +1]

 

Then came the fourth level, where Du Tang passed first, and although Lin Jianghe forced himself to endure his illness, he still fell again and again. After falling four times, Lin Jianghe did not choose to give up yet, sitting cross-legged on the track, recovering his strength and preparing for his next move.

 

[Little Crane, you give up, you’re already good enough!]

 

[I’m crying at the sight of it!]

 

[wuwuwuuu14onomatopoeia for crying……]

 

[I feel heartbroken for little brother! Who designed this shitty track! I want to mail them a knife15A baseless threat. It’s like a fad for people say this jokingly when they feel heartbroken and/or angry but can’t do anything about it.!]

 

Zhang Yuan, who was in charge of planning the track, sneezed twice. He wondered who was cursing him16In some areas, there is a belief that if you sneeze then there’s somebody talking about you behind your back or cursing you. behind his back.

 

Lin Jianghe, who had finally rested for long enough, got up slowly, ready to do it again.

 

“Wait a minute.” Du Tang stopped Lin Jianghe who wanted to continue doing the obstacle course, and quickly returned to the platform he was on amidst Lin Jianghe’s puzzled gaze.

 

“Do you really want to win?”

 

Lin Jianghe nodded vigorously; he had never been the type to admit defeat easily.

 

[Little Crane is working so hard, I’d be embarrassed to call myself his fan later if I don’t do the same! I’m going to go and do my previous math paper properly again!]

 

[I’m going to register for this year’s accountant exam!]

 

[You can add me, upstairs!]

 

[Add me too]

 

[Go for it, Little Crane!]

 

When Du Tang looked at such a Lin Jianghe, his heart moved and a touch of determination suddenly appeared in his eyes. He suddenly stepped forward and picked Lin Jianghe up by the waist and rushed onto the fourth level of the track, and twenty seconds later, he successfully passed.

 

After being put down by Du Tang, Lin Jianghe stared at him blankly, as if he hadn’t yet come back to his senses.

 

[Ahhhhh, what did I just see?]

Honestly, This chapter was a torture to translate…… I hope the audience shuts up because I’ve started considering buying and mailing them a roll of duct tape to bind their mouths….. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FOOTNOTES AAARGH

Anyways, I haven’t abandoned this project, and I’m trying my best to complete it while not compromising on the quality. Thanks for not mailing me blades when I went MIA for like one and a half months……. It’s just that although this is a short story, it’s not easy to translate (unlike my other project(IAB), which is an absolute pleasure to translate, mostly due to the lack of slangs in IAB).

1Ge is like hyung (for men) and oppa(for women) in chinese. It means big brother(but they might or might not be blood related).2In China, the seniors with some experience in an industry (especially art and entertainment) are referred to as ‘Laoshi’, which means ‘teacher’, as a form of respect.3A plug in is a gaming term. It’s a cheat. Like when hackers just write a piece of code to override something in a game and give themselves cheats and boosts….4Lin Jianghe. Basically the director approves of Tao dragging MC into everything cuz his presence brings with it a lot of heat and excitement from the viewers. Heh…. at least somebody is enjoying the comments from the audience, because god help me, I certainly ain’t QvQ5草包 cǎo bāo straw bag(literally), A person who is useless, lacks knowledge and does things halfheartedly to show off. It’s homophone to caobao which means an idiot.6you might’ve seen this number being repeated everywhere in chinese webnovels. Apparently, this number is actually a chinese hotline number used to avail phone related customer services. This number is normally used to A. Identify chinese players and B. Signify a large number. It’s kinda a meme ig….+1 means “I agree” and +10086 means “I really, really agree with you”.7The C was in English in the raws. If it’s not clear already, C stands for center position. This commenter is pleading LJH to debut as an idol in the C position because his voice is so good.8This commenter is basically using a witty way to say that LJH is an angel who came down to earth and that he’s glad that LJH decided to descend on earth and share his beautiful voice.9“(lit) You look at me, I look at you” This is kinda an idiom where people are looking at each other because they are too shocked about what happened10“这就是老天爷赏饭吃啊！羡慕不来，羡慕不来啊” God gifted this food to you; born to eat this rice etc: being so talented in a particular area that it’s as if you were born to earn a livelihood by using that talent.

We dare not envy: Being so talented that you can’t even be envied; you can only be jealous of a person who you can compete with, since their talent is far above you, you can bow down and treat them like a god instead of comparing yourself with them and feeling jealous.

Ah: A sound you create while talking excitedly, exclaiming.11vegetarian: Somebody who doesn’t fight back, a beginner or amateur.12xiao ge literally means ‘little elder brother’. ‘Little’ is sometimes used to denote ‘poor’ or ‘pitiful’. Sometimes, it’s also used as an affectionate or cutesy way to refer to somebody. “Little elder brother driver” sounds weird and disrupts the flow of the story so I’m gonna stick with xiao ge (unless y’all have a better option to suggest)13pretty face, good looking people who are useless, wallflowers.14onomatopoeia for crying15A baseless threat. It’s like a fad for people say this jokingly when they feel heartbroken and/or angry but can’t do anything about it.16In some areas, there is a belief that if you sneeze then there’s somebody talking about you behind your back or cursing you.