The Affectionate Film Emperor Only Loves Me

Lin Jianghe reopened the school bag that he had thrown aside and carefully rummaged through it, harvesting a bank card from the Agricultural Bank1It’s a legit bank in china, and a big bank at that. It’s one of the big 4 banks in china., an ID card, a copy of his stomach cancer diagnosis report, a train ticket, and a marriage certificate ……

 

There was no cash, not a single dime.

 

He dug into his clothes pocket and found thirty-two dollars in cash.

 

Squeezing the crumpled notes, Lin Jianghe gained a better understanding of his original body’s financial situation.

 

Forget it, it was good to be alive, what more do you need?

 

He swallowed and called Xiao Jiejie.

 

[Is this the entirety of the original’s belongings? There must be some change of clothes, right?

 

[There’s also a suitcase in the utility room.]

 

A suitcase?

 

After wandering around the house, Lin Jianghe made his way to the utility room and found the suitcase.

 

In the nooks and crannies of the suitcase, and in the pockets of his change of clothes, he found a total of one hundred dollars and ninety cents in cash.

 

Was this enough money to buy the ingredients?

 

He didn’t know the price of things in this world, so he decided to go and check it out first.

 

Carrying his school bag, Lin Jianghe was about to open the door to step out, when he suddenly thought of something.

 

[System, have my fingerprints been recorded for the lock?]

 

[I don’t know, dear host.]

 

Lin Jianghe tried all his fingers, but none of them matched. He couldn’t open the door.

 

Then…. How was he supposed to go out?

 

Lin Jianghe went back to the sofa and opened his phone contacts, and as expected, he didn’t have Du Tong’s mobile number.

 

Things seemed to have come to an impasse.

 

The entire room fell into silence.

 

That’s it! On a whim, Lin Jianghe rummaged through the TV cabinet, found the property card and called the property number recorded on it.

 

As expected of a residence in a high-end community, the doorbell rang in less than ten minutes. It was the tuning of an elegant piano. 

 

The doorbell was quite unusual.

 

Lin Jianghe got up and opened the door, and standing outside was a young man in a suit.

 

“Hello, I’m Zhang Yuanji, the property officer, and this is my work ID.”

 

Zhang Yuanji pointed to the badge on the left side of his chest and subtly sized up Lin Jianghe, a hint of suspicion flashing in his eyes.

 

Lin Jianghe was unaware of this and warmly invited him to come in and take a seat.

 

“Hello, my name is Lin Jianghe and I am the legal partner of the owner of this house.”

 

Lin Jianghe handed him his identity card and marriage certificate.

 

Zhang Yuanji, however, didn’t take it; he had already confirmed his identity with Du Tong’s side back when he had first received Lin Jianghe’s call.

 

Had the identity been false, the person who came over would not just be him.

 

He would’ve been accompanied by security guards and police officers

 

“Mr. Lin, I’m going to re-enter your fingerprints for you.”

 

 

After asking Zhang Yuanji about the simple structure of the entire block, Lin Jianghe and he walked out the door one after the other.

 

There was a big supermarket right inside the community, selling a wide variety of goods. It was just that the prices were a bit high.

 

After buying all the materials and necessities, Lin Jianghe went back to his room.

 

When he left the house, he still had a hundred and thirty-two dollars and ninety cents in his hand, but when he returned, he only had seventy-five dollars and twenty cents left.

 

Lin Jianghe washed his hands and made himself a dish of hibiscus chicken slices to eat.

 

The white chicken slices were like hibiscus petals, delicate and luscious, with some soup drizzled on top of the petals, and the aroma of chicken soup filled the air.

 

[It’s perfect! Sprinkle some spring onions on top and it’s perfect!】

 

Lin Jianghe casually mimed sprinkling something with his hands and then began to enjoy his dinner.

 

It was true that labor was the most glorious! The food he cooked himself smelt heavenly! This was the best dish he’d ever eaten!

 

The self-absorbed little Jiejie couldn’t help but open its mouth.

 

[Wait, where are the spring onions?]

 

Lin Jianghe raised his eyebrows, his disdainful expression was as if he’d seen something strange and unsightly.

 

[This is the emperor’s new spring onion2Ok so this is a reference to a really famous story called the “Emperor’s new clothes”. There’s are many different versions, but the common summary is that There was a proud Emperor who used to spend a lot of money on his clothes. One day, two swindlers pretending to be merchants came to him and tried to sell him (non-existent) clothes. Now, anybody with half a braincell would call bullshit, however the swindlers said “these clothes are made with a heavenly material that can only be seen by just, wise and intelligent people. However, dumb and inept people can’t see it.” The emperor lacks braincells, so he really believes them and gives them a lot of money to buy those ‘beautiful clothes’. Since the emperor can see it, how can the ministers say that they can’t? So they start complementing the clothes that are very much non-existent. The king decides to show off his “new clothes” and heads out in a royal procession wearing his birthday suit. Although nobody wants to see the buck naked emperor, everybody still praises the new clothes, since speaking the truth would make them ‘inept’. This goes on until a child questions why the emperor is naked, which is when everybody realises that nobody can see the so called ‘beautiful clothes’. Of course, the emperor still completes his procession proudly, intent on showing off the clothes that cost him such a heavy price. Literally. The fact that he believed the swindlers was the biggest sign of his incompetence. In short, while the new clothes did prove who did and who didn’t have a brain, it wasn’t in the way everybody believed. And that, dear readers, is why we shouldn’t claim to own the braincells that we lack. Otherwise it’s going to be real uncomfortable real fast., of course you can’t see it with your intelligence.]

 

The battered Xiao Jiejie was silent for a moment, then it exploded suddenly.

 

[What did you say? Say that again?]

 

[This is the emperor’s new spring onion, of course you can’t see it with your intelligence.]

 

Lin Jianghe repeated what he had just said, not even changing his tone of voice.

 

Listening to this familiar reply, Xiao Jiejie always felt as if this scene had happened once before.

 

Recalling its previous actions, Xiao Jiejie was like a balloon that had suddenly deflated… Its host is a bit too vindictive!

 

It quietly shut its mouth, not daring to say anything else.

 

I’m afraid, I’m very afraid.jpg

 

Lin Jianghe’s lips pursed in a pout. If he didn’t pay the system’s ‘kindness’ with the appropriate ‘gratitude’, would he still deserve the title of Xiao Langjun? Hah! Naive!3MC is being sarcastic, if you couldn’t tell. He is saying since he’s a gentleman (Xiao Langjun), he’s going to pay back everything the system did for him. The ending is him calling the system ‘naive’, like “you haven’t seen the world yet”.

 

After taunting, he quickly turned his gaze back to the food in front of him.

 

Bite after bite, he soon finished the entire plate of dishes with the rice.

 

[This sliced hibiscus chicken smells so good! Too bad you can’t eat it.]

 

And with that, he practically inhaled all the food. After drinking the last of the soup, the plates in front of him were completely empty, as if there was nothing in them to begin with.

 

Xiao Jiejie dared not speak out in anger.

 

Lin Jianghe rubbed his stomach, burped and took the dishes to the dishwasher before skulking off downstairs to the small garden.

 

Early the next morning, Lin Jianghe got up and took a taxi to the nearest agricultural bank to withdraw money.

 

After changing his password, Lin Jianghe finally learnt the total amount of his fortune.

 

Over eight thousand dollars, not bad, a bit more than he estimated.

 

Leaving two thousand for backup, Lin Jianghe took out six thousand and bought one of the latest chrysanthemum smartphones4Ig it’s a reference to big brand name phone companies? Idk but i think it’s definitely a reference to the bl we are reading, since chrysanthemum is slang for… Ahem the a**hole (literal, not the swear word) pfft.

 

To make money by live streaming, a quality smartphone was a must.

 

After buying the phone and taking a taxi home, Lin Jianghe’s small coffers shrunk again.

 

Lin Jianghe flipped through the phone that he had just bought and unsurprisingly found a live streaming app – Jinjiang5He he fun fact: jjwxc is short for Jinjiang literature city. Live – inside.

 

After going through a series of registration forms, he became a food anchor.

 

After a brief preparation, Lin Jianghe switched on his camera.

 

“Hello everyone, I am your anchor Dan Dinghe6It means “Red-crowned crane”, but I decided to keep it as it is, and the name of the dish I will be cooking today is Hibiscus Chicken Slices.”

 

The live broadcast room was empty; not a single person was there, but Lin Jianghe was not discouraged and proceeded to introduce the steps of making the dish.

 

“First, we need an old hen, remove its head and tail and then gut it. Then add onion, ginger and garlic to simmer the soup.7I’m kinda disappointed cuz I picked it up thinking that there would be a lot of delicious food involved, but sadly, we don’t actually get the proper recipe. We just gotta live with the mouth-watering descriptions ig…….Nvm, for those who want the recipe, just google ‘furong chicken slices’. The traditional chicken slices really are supposed to look and taste like hibiscus petals, but it’s called a kung Fu cuisine from shanghai due to the sheer strength and hardwork you have to invest in this dish. Needless to say, the traditional furong chicken can’t be made at home, but I don’t think MC is making the traditional one either. Here’s a link to the proper hibiscus slice chicken recipe you can try at home: https://chinesefood.pythonwood.com/delish/recipe/27294/“

 

Because of Jinjiang Live’s system of helping the poor8Aka reccomendation system of youtube, except it’s for the people with new channels, people started to come in to watch the live stream.

 

[Little brother has such a nice voice, why doesn’t he show his face?]

 

[Maybe it’s too ugly to be shown.]

 

[What kind of cooking is this little brother doing?]

 

Lin Jianghe, who saw these three comments, smiled and simply ignored the second one.

 

“Thank you for the compliment, the dish I’m going to cook this time is called Hibiscus Chicken Slices.”

 

Lin Jianghe explained as he skillfully removed the sinew from the chicken breast and chopped it into a puree. Then he added salt, egg whites and starch, mixing everything properly ……

 

[Although I don’t understand it, it seems pretty awesome.9不明觉厉 bù míng jué lì An internet slang that means “although I don’t understand it, it seems pretty awesome”]

 

[Although I don’t understand it, it seems pretty awesome.]

 

[Although I don’t understand it, it seems pretty awesome.]

 

……

 

As they watched Lin Jianghe’s skilled movements, the viewers in the live broadcast room expressed their confusion by starting a barrage10In live streaming apps, the comment section that is filled with incoming comments is called a barrage. Most live streaming apps in china have this function where the comments of the viewers can fill the entire screen of comments.

 

[Xiao Jiejie, why do people in this world look like they’ve never seen the market before11the usage of these words has a similar meaning as inexperienced, seeing something new? The recipe of this dish isn’t really difficult, right? Even if I’m good at it, it’s not that hard.]

 

This was embarassing! Xiao Jiejie suddenly felt a little guilty.

 

[Dear, I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you that although this world is technically the same as the world you were in before, it’s actually far behind in terms of dietary standards.]

 

[At this level, you are already considered world class, which is rarely seen.]

 

Lin Jianghe nodded. Hearing Xiao Jiejie’s voice that was full of guilt, he didn’t hold on to the issue. It definitely wasn’t because he had suddenly found his conscience, definitely not!

 

[So, that’s why you sent me here, since the food level is backward, it’s easier to earn points through food?]

 

[Dear, you are so smart!]

 

[I must be, otherwise why else would I be able to see the spring onions that you can’t see.]

 

[……]

 

Amidst Lin Jianghe’s laughter, Xiao Jiejie closed itself up again.

 

“Arrange the white as snow and glistening as jade chicken slices on a plate, then garnish with green beans and wolfberries, and a perfect plate of hibiscus chicken slices is read!”

 

[I Want to eat!]

 

[I Want to eat!]

 

[I Want to eat!]

 

[I want to marry you!]

 

[This person upstairs12same meaning as ‘previous commenter’, why are you breaking the rhythm?!]

 

[Ying ying, I want to eat it too!]

 

[Does the anchor lack a girlfriend? The super-eating kind!]

 

[Me too!]

 

[Is the anchor missing a leg pendant13leg pendant because this person wants to hug MC’s thighs, so he becomes an accessory hanging from his leg?]

 

A bunch of rainbow farts14exaggerated compliments were suddenly mixed with a few not-so-friendly comments.

 

[Maybe it just looks delicious, but it’s actually awful. Top chefs are a scarce resource, how can they come here to do a live broadcast!]

 

[Maybe he’s here to put on a show again!]

 

Before Lin Jianghe could retort, a bunch of cuties in the live broadcast room rushed up.

 

[So sour, can you please brush your teeth before you speak next time15So sour: your mouth stinks of vinegar. Vinegar = jealousy. You drank so much vinegar that now your mouth stinks like something sour, please brush your teeth before speaking. The cuties are insulting the rude commenter by saying that he’s jealous.?]

 

[Get out if you don’t want to watch, you’re an eyesore here!]

 

[+1]

 

[+2]

 

[+10086]

 

[+12306]

 

……

 

The live stream became a sea of viewers, and the man’s feeble retort was drowned in the tide of the people; not even a small splash was left behind.

 

Lin Jianghe took the time to glance at the number of people in the room. It was more than a thousand, which was not a small number.

 

What’s more, people were still joining in a steady stream.

 

In a good mood, Lin Jianghe shared his happiness with Xiao Jiejie.

 

[This combat power is a bit too weak, definitely not as good as you, Xiao Jiejie].

 

Even though it was a compliment, Xiao Jiejie still felt that something was wrong. Why did it sound so much like an insult instead?

 

“Okay, now it’s time for the taste test.”

 

Lin Jianghe scooped a spoonful of chicken slices16No idea how he managed to scoop the chicken slices in a spoon, doesn’t sound physically possible, but that’s what the author has written. and put it in his mouth. The chicken slices were smooth and tender, almost melting inside his mouth. He chewed the bite, savouring the fresh aroma. Although he had already eaten it once yesterday, he was still intoxicated by this delicious dish again.

 

The plate of hibiscus chicken slices was quickly finished amidst a barrage of “No!”s

 

Lin Jianghe burped and recommended it to everyone.

 

“It’s so delicious, you can try it at home when you have time, it’s not that hard to make.”

 

[OK]

 

[The brain says: I’ll do it, the hands say: no! You won’t!]

 

Another wave of barrage swept up in the live room.

 

“That’s it for today’s noon broadcast, see you all tonight at six.”

 

[Okay, hubby]

 

[Honey, I’ll wait for you in bed]

 

[Nonsense, my husband will obviously be in my bed!]

As usual, the system and MC’s banter will remain my favorite part of the story.

If you liked these tls, you can consider leaving me a kofi

1It’s a legit bank in china, and a big bank at that. It’s one of the big 4 banks in china.2Ok so this is a reference to a really famous story called the “Emperor’s new clothes”. There’s are many different versions, but the common summary is that There was a proud Emperor who used to spend a lot of money on his clothes. One day, two swindlers pretending to be merchants came to him and tried to sell him (non-existent) clothes. Now, anybody with half a braincell would call bullshit, however the swindlers said “these clothes are made with a heavenly material that can only be seen by just, wise and intelligent people. However, dumb and inept people can’t see it.” The emperor lacks braincells, so he really believes them and gives them a lot of money to buy those ‘beautiful clothes’. Since the emperor can see it, how can the ministers say that they can’t? So they start complementing the clothes that are very much non-existent. The king decides to show off his “new clothes” and heads out in a royal procession wearing his birthday suit. Although nobody wants to see the buck naked emperor, everybody still praises the new clothes, since speaking the truth would make them ‘inept’. This goes on until a child questions why the emperor is naked, which is when everybody realises that nobody can see the so called ‘beautiful clothes’. Of course, the emperor still completes his procession proudly, intent on showing off the clothes that cost him such a heavy price. Literally. The fact that he believed the swindlers was the biggest sign of his incompetence. In short, while the new clothes did prove who did and who didn’t have a brain, it wasn’t in the way everybody believed. And that, dear readers, is why we shouldn’t claim to own the braincells that we lack. Otherwise it’s going to be real uncomfortable real fast.3MC is being sarcastic, if you couldn’t tell. He is saying since he’s a gentleman (Xiao Langjun), he’s going to pay back everything the system did for him. The ending is him calling the system ‘naive’, like “you haven’t seen the world yet”.4Ig it’s a reference to big brand name phone companies? Idk but i think it’s definitely a reference to the bl we are reading, since chrysanthemum is slang for… Ahem the a**hole (literal, not the swear word) pfft5He he fun fact: jjwxc is short for Jinjiang literature city.6It means “Red-crowned crane”, but I decided to keep it as it is7I’m kinda disappointed cuz I picked it up thinking that there would be a lot of delicious food involved, but sadly, we don’t actually get the proper recipe. We just gotta live with the mouth-watering descriptions ig…….Nvm, for those who want the recipe, just google ‘furong chicken slices’. The traditional chicken slices really are supposed to look and taste like hibiscus petals, but it’s called a kung Fu cuisine from shanghai due to the sheer strength and hardwork you have to invest in this dish. Needless to say, the traditional furong chicken can’t be made at home, but I don’t think MC is making the traditional one either. Here’s a link to the proper hibiscus slice chicken recipe you can try at home: https://chinesefood.pythonwood.com/delish/recipe/27294/8Aka reccomendation system of youtube, except it’s for the people with new channels9不明觉厉 bù míng jué lì An internet slang that means “although I don’t understand it, it seems pretty awesome”10In live streaming apps, the comment section that is filled with incoming comments is called a barrage. Most live streaming apps in china have this function where the comments of the viewers can fill the entire screen11the usage of these words has a similar meaning as inexperienced, seeing something new12same meaning as ‘previous commenter’13leg pendant because this person wants to hug MC’s thighs, so he becomes an accessory hanging from his leg14exaggerated compliments15So sour: your mouth stinks of vinegar. Vinegar = jealousy. You drank so much vinegar that now your mouth stinks like something sour, please brush your teeth before speaking. The cuties are insulting the rude commenter by saying that he’s jealous.16No idea how he managed to scoop the chicken slices in a spoon, doesn’t sound physically possible, but that’s what the author has written.