The Bad Ending of an Otome

“Even in the hardest situations, it’s hard for me to admit my flaws without putting myself down.”

Even if I join the social world now, it will be hard to beat people who have been working on their speech and behavior since they were young with the social world in mind. 

The goal should just be to stay alive without being made fun of. 

Countess Mcginty, on the other hand, frowned and shook her head as if she were going to bite her tongue out of frustration.

“So, the chance to stay in the Marquis’s house and change your last name has already passed?”

“Yes, it’s been over 2 years already.”

“I see. This year, their side, too…”

The rest of the Countess’s words were easy for me to guess. 

Yes, that person has now shown up. 

They must be busy making her feel like one of the family. 

When I left and said I didn’t need anything, I forgot about everything. 

Who wouldn’t laugh if I clung to them now and said I want to go back?

“The lady who died was also very lucky.”

“…”

The Countess’s words caught me off guard, and I just blinked my eyes.

“Even though I don’t know Miss Emilia very well, I can tell that she’s not like the fools everyone talks about. If you were closest to this woman before she died, it means that she also had a good eye for seeing things.”

“…”

I suddenly felt like something was blocking my throat, so I shut my mouth like a clam.

Is this true? 

Could I have been good for Ophelia? 

Could I say with certainty that I gave her comfort and that she was lucky to have met me before she died?

No one ever said that to me. 

The Marquis thanked me, of course, for taking care of her. 

But I never thought I’d hear someone else say something like that. 

The assessment that I am calm and sure of myself, which means that Ophelia, who had me by her side, had a good eye. 

Not a ghost-like presence, like a maid who is almost nonexistent, clinging to the beautiful and regal Ophelia.

I see. 

If I’m highly rated, it gives Ophelia a chance to be highly rated, too….

That was a very strange thing to realize. 

I was always the moon when she was the sun. 

Even though I decided to live with her, we were not the same color. 

I only dared to think that she was too hard to compare to anyone else. 

I thought I was like a half-mirror that gets more light and shines because of her. 

But when I heard that I could make her shine brighter, I got emotional. 

I smiled with a face that looked like it was about to cry. 

I bit the inside of my cheek and ground my teeth together. 

Something I didn’t even know was boiling inside of me, and it felt like it would burst if anyone touched me.

“… Thank you.”

Even though she saw how teary-eyed I was, the Countess just smiled and nodded. 

I really appreciated it.

* * *

‘Sold for cash.’

I knew this was a dream even when I was sleeping. 

I felt like I was looking at the scene from the outside, as if I were a third person. 

It was a bright, sunny day. 

Midsummer had come. 

The gardener took care of the yard so that it only smells like grass. 

The end of a bush where humble yellow roses grew was broken and looked sad.

A child in a gray dress that was wet with dew was the most likely cause. 

I wondered how long it had been since she had been to the Marquis’s house. 

She was a poor child whose face showed only evil. 

She looked at her opponent with eyes that were full of poison. 

Her naturally thick, black hair was all tied up. 

Also, the ends were uneven, making it look like she had turned some horribly ugly wig made for discipline on her head. 

Her black eyes looked like they were going to bite anyone who came near. 

The end of her lips, which were tightly closed, shook.

The kid next to her couldn’t have been more different. 

Her skin was as white as if milk had been poured on it, and her thin arms and legs looked like they were glowing. 

Even her eyelids, which moved back and forth as if she were batting, were silver, and her clear green eyes shone brighter than any rock. 

Her beautiful light pink dress had a skirt that moved.

‘What good was it for you to show off? You’re a child sold for money so know your place.’

‘Crazy girl.’

The things she said made her opponent’s face twist, and she didn’t even blink. 

The face, which was as pretty and delicate as a doll, turned bright red in an instant.

‘Don’t you get what I’m trying to say?’

‘Really? You’re the good kid who scared everyone away with your terrible temper and made your parents spend money on someone else because they knew you were going to die soon?’

‘Are you crazy!’

‘I was bought with money from your parents, not yours.’

‘If you came to be my plaything, you should know your…’

‘Die!’

‘You don’t even know where you belong!’

‘Go ahead, let them know! Go ahead! You’re lucky to have rich folks, girl! Tell them in a sad way! You can’t handle me, so run to your parents!’

Her black eyes looked like they were on fire. 

Young Emilia kicked the rose bushes and tore the petals off with her fingers as she screamed in anger. 

She didn’t care that the rose thorns scratched her hands and left bruises on her legs because they hadn’t been trimmed. 

If you looked carefully, you could see that she had big cuts on her knees and elbows from falling, but the scabs hadn’t formed yet.

‘If I say one word, you’ll have to leave right away! Even if you get down on your knees and beg, it won’t help! You were left by your parents, you’re mean, and you’re ugly, where…!’

‘Do you think people are ants just because you’re pretty and have rich parents?’

‘You won’t let go?! You won’t… Ahh!’

Emilia, who had been hitting the rose bushes with all her might, suddenly stood up as if she couldn’t keep her anger in. 

Then, she grabbed young Ophelia’s beautiful hair with both hands and shook it violently. Ophelia, who also had an unusual personality, was surprised at first, but she quickly got over it and grabbed Emilia’s hair in return. 

Soon, the two kids fell to the ground and got mixed up like wild animals. 

They fought on the ground by scratching, kicking, and rolling.

When the maids, who found out about the situation too late, ran over in a hurry to separate the two, there wasn’t much difference between how they looked. 

That is, young Emilia was just as messy as she had been before, and Ophelia, who had been well dressed before, looked just like Emilia now that she had messed up her looks. 

As they rolled around on the ground, grass and dirt got stuck in her beautiful silver hair, and her dress, which had been clean before, got stained and wrecked.

Ophelia’s cheeks were scratched by her nails, and she couldn’t hold back her anger as she looked at Emilia, who was sniffling. 

Emilia stuck out her tongue long in answer, as if she had been waiting for this to happen. 

This time, the maids had to work hard to keep Ophelia from charging again because she was angry.

The side of the yard where they had fought looked like it had been destroyed in a war. 

Not only were the yellow rose bushes, which were the worst hit, but so were the nearby short plants and the small flowers that grew every few feet. 

It looked like a typhoon had come through. 

As I looked at the scene again, I was deep in a strange thought.

* * *

Yes, it was true that I and Ophelia had fought hard in the past. If not, I wouldn’t have been able to get rid of the deep-seated feelings of inferiority that had built up in my heart, no matter how much I decided to be her friend.

Same thing happened to her. 

Everyone treated her like she was as valuable as gold or jade. 

I was the only one in the big and historically important Marquis’s family who didn’t like her. 

I called her a bad girl and cursed her. 

I cursed her because she was short-lived and had a bad temper, which meant she couldn’t go to a good place even after she died. 

She said back that I had no right to judge her because I was just living there for free. 

Now, I call it a memory, but at the time, both she and I were being honest. 

I don’t deny it.

That wasn’t the end of the dream. 

I saw a vision of a young ‘me’ sitting alone in a dark, dusty room. 

I think it was a punishment. 

The Marquis and his wife brought me in for Ophelia to play with. 

But that didn’t mean I was just Ophelia’s slave who agreed with everything she did. 

For the same reason, they picked a girl from the family who was about the same age.

In other words, they meant to treat us fairly, even though it was impossible to say that our situations were equal because our lives were so different. 

So even if I did something wrong, I wasn’t punished on my own. 

Ophelia, who was a nice girl who had to watch out for her health, didn’t get the same sentence as me, of course. 

She got her own sentence for what she did. 

From my point of view, it was, of course, not good enough.

Well, that’s it. 

Sitting and thinking for hours in a small, dull room. 

At the time, that was my sentence. 

On the high wall close to the ceiling, there was a tiny window about the size of a fingernail, but that was it. 

The young ‘me’ pulled over a barrel that had been left in the warehouse and sat on it. 

The person looked more put together than before.

There were signs that the young ‘me’ had put medicine on her arms and legs to help heal her cuts. 

Her knee had a bit of a bandage put around it. 

She looked like she was wearing a white top and sky-blue pants. 

Her black hair was braided and tied with a sky-blue ribbon. 

It looked like a maid had taken good care of it. 

The young ‘me’ was in the middle of taking that ribbon apart and wrapping it like a ring around her finger.

‘Did you come here to tease me?’

‘Emilia.’

I almost jumped, even though I knew it was just a dream. 

Even though he was young, the voice behind the closet door was very serious. 

The young Emilia, the young ‘me,’ had a face that showed a lot of different feelings.

A lot of them were bad. 

The poison in her eyes hadn’t gone away at all. 

Instead, it seemed to get worse, like someone had put oil on it.

‘Why? Is she crying? She whined while saying I had to get out? You should go calm her down. Such a precious girl.’

‘Emilia.’

‘I won’t say I’m sorry no matter what you say.’

‘…I didn’t come here to ask for an apology.’

A voice was heard that was as quiet as a sigh. 

I could easily picture what the boy looked like without seeing him. 

He was someone who had learned to use a sword when he was very young and was good at it.

He wore strong cotton pants and a loose-fitting shirt. 

His sword was held in place by straps and a belt around his waist and shoulder. 

He was already getting calluses on his fingers. 

A boy with black hair long enough to tickle his ears, violet eyes that were serious for his age, and a face that was still childlike. 

He didn’t smile very often, but when he did, his eyes would form a crescent shape when he smiled.

Yes, I was always envious of that boy. 

He seemed very different from me in many ways. 

Whether it was awe, jealousy, or respect, something was very complicated, and every time I saw him, my heart pounded. 

It felt like there was an empty water jug in my heart, and whenever I saw the boy, the water in it would move like waves.

I clenched my teeth and scrunched up my face to make it look like I didn’t see even that small wave. 

Because of this, I spoke to him in a gruff tone and called him ‘brother’ in a mean way. 

I slowly stopped doing this when I got older and learned more about myself.

‘Why then?’

‘Because I worry about you.’

‘Liar.’

‘Emilia.’

‘If you’re going to talk like that, please just leave.’

So I stood up straight like a hedgehog. 

I knew that the boy who was kind and fair to everyone and who, like Ophelia, was loved by everyone in the Marquis’s house wouldn’t choose me over anyone else in this world. 

He was after all Ophelia’s, so he couldn’t be mine.

Even though he had a lot on his plate, he came to check on me when I was alone in the storage room. 

I was glad for that, but I didn’t like it at the time. 

I saw my younger self on her knees with her head buried deep between her knees. 

The sky-blue ribbon was all tangled up and rolled around on the floor.

‘…It’s the truth.’

Raretis Hope’s voice wasn’t so light as it was always heavy. 

He didn’t make jokes easily. 

I think that’s why I was more likely to agree. 

I was always, always worried when his words, which he might not have even thought about, made waves in the bottom of my heart.

What if I just can’t do it? 

What if I can no longer take it? 

If that happens, it’s over for sure. 

I would be left with nothing.

At that time, I really didn’t like Ophelia Windrose. 

What if, when she was upset, she didn’t just yell, but instead spoke in a calm voice?

Thank you for caring so much. 

Just as I thought, you’re the only one I want. 

You really are a big relief… 

What if she said those things, and instead, when Ophelia gets better in the future, I stole her sweet fiancé? 

Would it have been easier to deal with if I had thought such bad things?

That’s not it, though. 

Since he was a child, Raretis Hope went to the Marquis’s house to find out what would happen to the house. 

If he had chosen me over the Marchioness while Ophelia was still alive, things would not have gone well. 

Right.

I never knew what would happen next. 

As a young child who had to leave the Marquis’s house alone, I wasn’t smart enough to figure out how to live on my own.

Even though I was jealous of Ophelia, I couldn’t wish for what that child had. 

Even though I liked Raretis Hope, I was afraid of being a bother to someone. 

I rolled my head that was buried on my legs because I was afraid my whimpering voice would come out, and I bit my lip to keep from crying.

‘I’ve also heard that you don’t eat enough.’