The Bad Ending of an Otome

Hush Mittens

Barely finishing my soup and sipping tea, I got a message that the Marquis was looking for me. Arriving at the Marquis’s room, a butler, whose face seemed to have aged ten years in a day, opened the door for me. Although I had lived in this house for more than a decade, this was the first time I had met with the Marquis alone in his office. The Marquis’s face was gloomy as he invited me to sit.

I sat down. The butler brought the tea himself. The Marquis’s look lingered on my face, dressed in formal garb, for a long time.

“I don’t know how to start…”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

“All this time… I really appreciate it, Emilia. Thanks to you, my daughter wasn’t lonely.”

Instead of replying, I rolled the teacup in my hand.

The Marquis wrapped his face with his hands and sighed. It was a sigh befitting a father who had lost his child the day before.

“So… I wanted to thank you. There’s no other reason. How could I forget the person Ophelia loved most in this world? You have gone through a tough time, and I just wanted to talk from a father’s viewpoint…”

“Is the Marchioness doing well?”

“She fainted a few times, but the doctors said she’s fine. They said she just needs to rest.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

I took a sip of tea. I could feel the butler’s eyes resting on me. Perhaps his gaze held the question of why I didn’t personally visit the Marchioness and comfort her.

I ignored that look. Seeing the Marchioness had always made me feel awkward.

“What I have done is nothing special. Your Grace and the Marchioness took in a young girl like me, who had nowhere to go, and cared for me. I could never return such goodness. Moreover, Ophelia was a young girl who anyone could not help but love.”

“What nonsense, in this mansion, everyone knows there was only one person who could handle Ophelia’s finicky personality.”

The Marquis smiled very slightly. The smile didn’t last long and quickly collapsed. It seemed both happy and heart-wrenching to revive the memory of his deceased daughter, whose tantrums no one could stop.

The reason she only liked me, among all the people around her, was because I was the only one who acknowledged her impending death.

As she naturally knew herself, and as I was aware of the game. Her death was certain. She was to die young, beautiful, and fresh. But others constantly acted as if her future was bright.

They deceitfully used hope, saying that things would get better if only she suffered a bit more.

She hated the sugar-coated lies about a future she couldn’t change anyway, as if they were giving candy to a child.

Especially her parents, who loved her so much that they couldn’t admit to her future. I hated my parents who sold me for money, and she hated her parents who tried to blind her with the excuse of love. We were so different yet so alike.

“Anyway, it’s all in the past now.”

“…Yes.”

The Marquis answered like a sigh.

Unlike the Marchioness, the Marquis was a bit more logical. That’s why I picked my words. I didn’t know when I would get another chance if I didn’t speak now.

“Thanks to the kindness and care of you and the Marchioness, I was able to live comfortably as if it were my own home. You looked kindly upon me, who was immature and young.”

The Marquis’s face changed slightly, perhaps understanding why I was intentionally speaking superficial words.

“Living here as Ophelia’s friend was very enjoyable.”

“…”

“So, it seems like it’s time for me to leave, carrying only the joyful memories.”

“…”

The Marquis repeated his attempt to say something but ended up in silence. His voice, when it finally came out, sounded slightly nervous, but soon regained its calm.

“…Isn’t it too soon? The funeral was just yesterday…”

“These things are not better postponed. If it’s okay with you, I plan to leave today or tomorrow.”

“…How about seeing my wife before you go?”

“Seeing me will probably make it harder for the Marchioness.”

“I see…”

The Marquis trailed off as if considering something but did not deny what I said. Of course, he wouldn’t. The Marquis is realistic. My purpose is gone, now that his beloved daughter is no longer living. No, I’m rather a disadvantage now.

If he plans to raise Raretis as the Marquis’s heir, having me, who is not even his own daughter, stay in the Marquis’s house would seem odd in many ways.

Raretis, too, should get engaged to a good family’s young lady as soon as possible now that Ophelia has passed away. A single lady staying in the Marquis’s house without being married is also a bit strange.

Though the Marquis is logical, he might have been torn about kicking out the person his beloved daughter liked the most right after the funeral, but he finally nodded.

“…Do you need anything? I can provide you with whatever you need.”

“That’s alright.”

I don’t have many things. I was planning to slip away with a few sets of simple clothes and some belongings.

There are stacks of dresses that Ophelia forced me to wear, but I didn’t need such things since I wasn’t planning to appear in the social circle and was going to live a humble life as a commoner. I was going to leave most of them behind.

I needed to draw the line. I’ve been treated no less than Ophelia in the Marquis’s house, but all of those things were just borrowed for a short while. They were never mine to begin with. I mustn’t fool myself.

“Anyway, everyone must be worn out from planning the funeral, so I plan to leave quietly so as not to cause any worry. I’d appreciate it if you could keep it a secret.”

“…If that is what you wish, I will respect it.”

“Thank you.”

“But if your mind changes, feel free to tell me at any time. This house is a place where Ophelia and you lived together for ten years. You can consider it home. No one in our house will tell you to leave.”

Instead of replying, I smiled. Sometimes, even if the words are empty, it feels good to hear them. Now is such a time. Whether I live here for 10 years or 20 years, I am at the very edge of the family, with just a bit of the Marquis’s lineage. I am a fallen noble barely hanging onto the title. The Marquis and Marchioness bought me from my parents. It was a deal, clearly. I only did as much work as I was paid for.

It’s not that I’m bitter. My selfish parents would have sold me off in some other way if it weren’t for this situation.

“Thank you. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to take my leave.”

The Marquis looked at me blankly until the end but didn’t hold me back. I stepped out through the door that the butler opened for me. The hallway was quiet, as the Marchioness’s health was not good, and maids were busy going up and down with bed linens and hot water. I stopped briefly at the entrance to the hallway leading to the Marchioness’s room, then moved on.

If I were to see the Marchioness now, she might try to keep me.

If I tell her I’m going, she will surely say I can’t. Whether it’s guilt towards her dead daughter or compensatory thoughts. It was clear that she would think it’s wrong to let me go right after the service as if I was being driven out. And that’s why it couldn’t be done.

I am not her daughter and never can be. I must not create that fantasy. That was my limit. If I approached the Marchioness, who was saddened after losing her daughter, and whispered sweetly, offering to become her daughter, I could perhaps gain that place.

I might be able to quickly fill the gap left by Ophelia, as everyone expected, and become the replacement. I scoffed.

I will not fool myself.

I can never be Ophelia. There is nothing in this world that can replace her. The same applied to assuming that the guys who loved her will be sad.

I liked Ophelia. I liked the Windrose House where Ophelia was. But that was it. The House without Ophelia was useless to me.

Would it have been easier if I were a young noble lady who, as the world says, clung to a weak-hearted princess with illness and happily rose in status?

Ophelia told me to live well. She told me to be happy for both of us.

Would I be happy if I wore a wedding veil knitted with lace long enough to reach the floor, held a bouquet made from expensive imported flowers, and got engaged to a noble from a famous family whom I would have barely made eye contact with in my previous life?

I don’t know. What is certain is that it doesn’t seem like I’d be happy even if I stayed at the Marquis House and filled Ophelia’s vacancy. I loved her, but I ended up being jealous of everything she had. It was easier to put off things that I couldn’t and shouldn’t crave in a faraway world. After all, I can’t even be her stand-in.

In the not-too-distant future, a beautiful woman who looks exactly like her will appear. A woman whose happiness or misfortune is still unknown.

I packed my things slowly. Someone knocked on the door. When I told them to come in, a maid peeked in. I smiled slightly at the familiar face. It was Dorothy, a maid our age who had taken care of Ophelia and me for a long time.

“Miss, are you okay? You didn’t eat properly, so I brought some snacks from the kitchen.”

“Thank you. I’ll eat well.”

“No, what’s going on with your room? Hasn’t anyone cleaned it?”

“No, I have things to tidy up.”

“Tidy up? Well…if you are going to move rooms…”

I didn’t know what she was misreading, but it was too difficult to explain, so I just laughed. I had a lot of love for the staff of the Marquis’s House.

Hans from the kitchen, who always tried to feed me something because I was too skinny. Nurse Odil, who basically raised Ophelia and me. Dorothy, who took care of Ophelia and me for a long time.

I grabbed Dorothy’s wrist and took out a blue silk ribbon that was left on the table. Dorothy’s eyes widened.

“This is what you received as a gift.”

“I’ll give it to you.”

“Eh? But, this is what Miss Ophelia gave you…”

“I set aside my favorite color. Let’s split it between you, me, and Ophelia.”

At that, Dorothy nodded her head, sniffling. I smiled broadly.

“Really, how can you already smile so carelessly, Miss? Seeing you like this hurts me more. You should cry instead…”

“Are they still criticizing me?”

“Oh dear, have I only seen you for a day or two? I can see whether it’s a real smile or not…”

Dorothy shed a tear. I reassured her by patting her shoulder. Then, Dorothy burst into tears. I pulled Dorothy in for a hug.

“Uh, ugh, Miss…”

“That’s right, that’s right.”

“Mi, Miss Ophelia, you…”

“Yeah.”

“What are we going to do… She’s so young, already…”

“…”

“How can it be so pitiful…”

I gently rubbed Dorothy’s back. The sound of crying flowed and spread like moving water.

“Miss Emilia and Miss Ophelia were so close…”

Indeed, we were. I smiled. It would have been better if she had suggested that we die together. Hiding my regret, I accepted Dorothy for a long time.

After a long bout of crying, Dorothy said she was glad that I was there, and managed a feeble smile with her tear-stained, red eyes. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that I was leaving the house the next day.

At dawn, I slipped away in a carriage.

The butler tried to convince me to stay, and the grounds of the estate were so huge that it would have taken all day to walk to the main road.

The house was silent in the early morning. Just before I got into the carriage, I found myself staring closely at the house. Then I noticed that I was subconsciously looking towards the second-floor room where Raretis would be, and I laughed bitterly. What a sight this must be. Did I hope he would stop me? I shook my head fiercely.

Ten years. I came to the house at eight, and I met Ophelia when she was eight.

Ophelia died before her eighteenth birthday, and I am leaving the house. The situation felt slightly funny, as if I was making a midnight escape. It was funny.

Who would miss me?

I had forgotten what it was like to be unwanted, having lived as Ophelia’s most valuable friend, loved by everyone.

I was mistaken, laughing and talking every day with wonderful people who I would not have been able to face in my old life.

I have nothing. Without Ophelia, I am not loved by anyone. Naturally. There was no reason for it.

So I didn’t want to become ugly. I didn’t want to overdo it and become unhappy. I didn’t want to fall, jealous and covetous of what could never be mine. That’s why.

Without looking back, I climbed into the carriage. I got in with a single trunk in the simple cart, empty of any crest. The wagon ran for a while and then stopped. I thanked the driver and got off at the side of the road.

It was early morning. Amid the hustle and bustle of the morning, I slowly looked up at the sky.

It was a cold, cloudy, ash gray.