Chapter 7 – Feeling Like I’m About to be Ruined

(T/N: This chapter is in first perspective.)

“……!?”

“Ah, you’re awake?”

A voice came from a round object in front of me. I could feel gentle patting on my head, and the words “where am I” first popped into my brain.

After some strangely unclear thinking, I put my hand on the round thing in front of me.

“Ah…♪”

“???”

What was that sweet voice just now? …I mean, the feel of this soft thing is so wonderful. The incredible elasticity that came over the textured fabric, touching it made me finally remember everything.

“…Could it be–”

At that moment I felt a rush of blood.

I immediately got up from there and put my head down to get down on my knees.

“I’m sorry!”

…I blamed myself for doing that even if I was sleepwalking. What I was touching in my daze earlier was Madoka’s ample juxtaposition of flesh, in other words, her t**s.

“……”

At any rate, I was prepared for some scolding from Madoka-san. I would have died if she had told me not to come anymore… However, my fears were completely unfounded.

“Look up, Chinatsu-kun, I’m not angry about anything.”

“…Really?”

“Yes, really.”

When I looked up, Madoka was looking down at me with a smile.

I was relieved that she didn’t look angry at all, but I was still aware that I had done something unforgivable. Perhaps sensing what I was thinking from my expression, Madoka-san giggled and spread out her hand… Huh?

“…Madoka-san?”

“Come here, Chinatsu-kun.”

“Um~…?”

“Come♪”

“…Yes.”

If she told me to come, I would have no choice but to go… I answered Madoka-san’s call as if I had made up my mind. I slowly approached her and sat down next to her, but after that, I couldn’t do anything because I didn’t have the guts.

But Madoka-san hugged me so tightly.

“You wanted to do this, didn’t you?”

“……”

…I think I’m going to die soon, I’ve been thinking about it a lot these past few days.

I really want to die in the arms of a woman I care about… Yes, I know it’s a bit weird, but this feeling really makes me feel like I’m in heaven.

“…Madoka-san…”

“Kyaa!”

“Madoka-san!?”

“It tickles me when you talk on my chest. Chinatsu-kun’s breath will be directly transmitted.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Fufu♪”

I feel like I can’t talk anymore, so I’ll just stay like this.

But… After sitting like this, I feel like sleeping again. It’s like I’m resting my cheek on a pillow that can’t really be described as luxurious, but smells so good it’s making me feel fluffy.

“…Madoka-san, it’s time for me to go home.”

“I see… Why don’t you stay the night?”

“Stay the night!?”

The first thing that came to my mind was that the time was quite late and I was about to go home when Madoka-san made an unbelievable proposal to me. I thought it was a joke, but Madoka-san’s expression was very serious… More than anything, I thought her eyes were shaking with sadness.

“…Oh my. Let’s put aside my selfishness for the moment. I had dinner with Chinatsu-kun today and I’m satisfied.”

“Yeah… I was happy too. It was so delicious and fun.”

“Well, that’s good to hear.”

The sukiyaki I ate with Madoka-san was really delicious, and above all I enjoyed the time I spent with her. The only question I have is why I was sleeping on Madoka-san’s knees… Maybe I shouldn’t worry too much about that.

“Hey, Chinatsu-kun.”

“What is it?”

“Would you like to have dinner together again? I think it would be better than eating alone, because we wouldn’t be lonely.”

I almost nodded my head at that suggestion, but I also wondered if I should be so lenient. Then, Madoka-san whispered softly to me as I was wondering how to reply.

“I really want to spoil you, Chinatsu-kun. Since I’m three years older than you… Well, that’s the only difference between us, so I don’t have the receptiveness of an adult, but I still want to do a lot of things for Chinatsu-kun, which includes thanking him.”

“Do a lot of things…”

“Master♪, do you not need Madoka’s services?”

When she called me Master so abruptly, I froze.

Madoka-san had a clear expression on her face like a maid waiting for orders, but she was also giggling, as if she was amused by my appearance. I shook my head to force my frozen body to move and expel my evil feelings.

My cheeks were hot as ever, but Madoka-san held my hand.

“My room and Chinatsu-kun’s room are next to each other, so you can always rely on me, okay? If there is something sad, I will accept it. If you are happy, I want to rejoice with you, and if you want energy, I will inject it into you… Just like this♪”

Then Madoka-san hugged me again.

Naturally, embarrassment came first, but soon a feeling of security came over me that dispeled it. It was a contradiction to say that relief comes over you, but that is really what it feels like.

“…Madoka-san is very kind.”

“You think so? I’m glad.”

There’s something magical about it that makes you want to throw everything into the warmth and let it take over. It’s scary… But it’s also strange that I don’t hate it.

We stayed like that for a while, but I managed to get away from Madoka-san because I had to go home for good. I was afraid that if Madoka-san hugged me any longer, she would really ruin me… I see, maybe she’s the kind of woman who ruins men.

“Ah, right!”

“What’s wrong?”

After I changed into my shoes, Madoka asked me this.

“Chinatsu-kun, do you have any girls you’re close with at school?” 

“Girls I’m close with…?”

The first person that came into my mind was Shirayuki…

“I can smell it. You two are close, aren’t you?”

“Smell?”

What did she mean, smell… Madoka-san laughed and said not to worry about it, but it was quite disturbing.

After those words, the topic of conversation at school ended, and I left Madoka-san’s room. I went back to my room and buried my face in the mat to suppress my helpless feelings.

“…Hah! What a really good day!!!”

I didn’t expect to not only have dinner with Madoka-san, but also to be given a lap pillow. And the hug afterwards too… It was so etched in my memory that I could recall the feeling immediately.

However, apart from these happy memories, I was still angry that Madoka-san had been slapped.

“…What were they thinking causing trouble for such a kind person?”

I understand that there are many people in the world who think differently. Still, I couldn’t understand the feelings of her ex-boyfriend and his girlfriend. If she had been with me, I would have protected her… I thought about it cheekily, but if Madoka-san was actually by my side, I would want to protect her.

“…What’s with that guy’s attitude?”

The reason Madoka-san is so kind to me is because of what happened. It seems true that I was able to save Madoka’s heart to some extent, but there’s also the fact that I’m just a high school kid.

“…I wish I could date someone like that.”

If such a wonderful person were my girlfriend, I would surely be filled with happiness every day… So I thought as I had Madoka-san, the woman of my dreams, in my mind. It was just that… I was a little creeped out by what I thought afterwards.

“…I want to lean my everything on her…–Huh!?”

Yes, I thought about wanting to drown myself in Madoka-san. I thought that I just wanted to be with Madoka-san and be pampered by her without having to think about anything else…

“…No, no, no!”

I put a stop to the thoughts of being a total good-for-nothing.

In a way, my hunch that I would be ruined if I stayed by Madoka-san’s side may have been right. 

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