The Cutest Omniversal Shopkeeper.

I was currently in my shop ,waiting for my next customer to appear. Well he did indeed appear, but instead of a bright light or through the doors; he materialized in front of me. It was none other then Mr. Mxyzptlk himself. Looks like an imp, fashioned as a jester of some sort. 

"Welcome to my magical emporium of d.e.s.i.r.es where you can get..... something you'd like." I said unsure as this guy was omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient to a great extent. But this was my domain so....

"Oh nice place you got, this domain ain't to shabby if I say so myself. It even tricked me in thinking it was a lower god domain hahaha. A challenge I like it! To bad it's too difficult to beat, items you have but I doubt its something I seek."

"A clone of supergirl with her memories and mentality, altered of course. So she believes the earth was destroyed and your her saviour." I tried to think of something, but ended up with a possibility that I remembered. His face changed to a even more playful face ,then before. I didn't think it was possible.

"Sure I could do that but I like them, to at least resist at first. Assuming this is possible, what do you get out if this?" he asked playfully.

"Knowledge of science and magic of the 4th dimension that you know of. If you know not then, the knowledge of how to do what you do, in the dc universe where superman resides."

He then contemplates and finally says

"I will give you both, if you can get rid of my weakness in said universe in exchange." he replied smiling.

"Only if you have said knowledge and then it will be a deal. You should be careful though ,the owners of the universe; might not like your presence there." I said and he laughed manically.

"I like you kid, you know how to make a good joke. Say what's your name?" he asked smiling deviously.

"Let's add that to the clause for free, given that there will be no harm to come of telling you my name. Given how your name Mr. Mxyzptlk has a weakness, who's to not say you cant give mine the same." I said smiling shocking him.

"My my, when my old friend said you were smart and cunning. He was actually right, but do be careful as beings as me ;dont think in 3 diemensions. That matters not ,as you already know of your solution that you seek for this. I think we ha-" I inturrupted

"Wait I want the shop to ensure that this wont backfire on me, in any way shape or form to hurt me negatively. Can never be too careful."

*Congratulations you passed the test, if you were to accept the deal as is. He would have reaped your soul and taken your omni-energy.*

I went pale and mentally was cursing the shop, but I knew it wont solve anything.

*As a reward you will be granted protections against it. So this can't possibly happen in the future.*

"Dagnabbit, all that suculant energy was for the taking. He won't let me live it down either! You have won this time but, who knows what the future holds!" He said leaving the shop while I was pissed!!! Dare leave my shop I'll get you back for this!!

"Shop notify me when I enter the whoniverse to only use clones or magical cyborgs." I said warily.

*Very well, as a hidden reward for planning for the future ,you will now be allowed to force 1 higher god ;to make a purchase in your shop.*

I thought for a while then said

"Bring me the speedforce."

*Warning this is a high god, that works for a primordial reaper do you wish to continue?*

"Hell no!!! Just give me the presence instead."

*Warning he is friends with the primordial reaper so he might tell him about you. You have been warned.* The shop said and I started sweating and thinking

'Why is the dcverse so dark!!! This is making the marvelverse look like rainbows and kittens!!!'

"Very well, I have an idea for that. Also notify Mr.Sauron and grindlewald to return to the shop, after this transaction. Only their clones may remain."

*Very well.*

"VWORP VWORP VWORP"

In walked a short chubby old man with a top that and monacle.

"Ooo look what I found, a intruder to my universe fear not I dont mind. As you are providing lots of entertainment. The crime has gone down alot, but I'm sure you wont be here long. Then I will just fix it to be brand new ,as it should have been. As if you dont, well your pet eldritch being wont be returning." He said laughing jolly like. I was scared for my minions life.

"Welcome to my shop, this is the emporium of d.e.s.i.r.es. Where you can find alot of items, that wouldnt be found in this universe." I said earning some interest from him.

"I have already chosen my item, it's your technique magenformatics. As I have already looked through all your items." He said raising a brow with my not surprised look.

"I see. Well then for the payment I would like your knowledge on time and space ,that's applicable in more then just this universe."

He looked at me as if praising me, and he said.

"Good choice as if you asked for all my knowledge or something more powerful. I would have denied it right out. Oh and if you dont return those souls, you took from those evil people. I will take your minions in exchange as hes made of a bit of omni-energy. My friend will love the gift." He said while laughing.

'Why!!! Every time I start my omnifarm I am stopped!!! Gah at least I've gained a little bit already.' I then reached into space to take out my suitcase and sent a clone inside to notify the head clone. He then came out looking mad giving me an evil eye. Then tossed me the crystal which I have to the presence and he snapped his fingers. It was gone and Mr.Sauron was in front of me. Shaking in the presence of the man in front of us.

"You alright bud?" He nodded and grumbled

"Would I at least be able to keep superman?"

He laughed and said "Its not like I could take him back, with the omniversal contract binding him. The only true unbreakable vow." He said while smirking.

"Y-you how long have you been watching me?"

I said slightly scared.

"Ever since you were put up on godtube, your famous kid. Dont worry only high gods and primordials can watch it. The non reaper variety unless someone where to show them it." He said implying a free item.

"Fine take a other item, the least I can do if you keep this from being shown to reapers. I also would like you to communicate to me ,when they know of my existence." I elaborated

He then made a more money hand sign.

"Fine....get one more item." I said reluctantly.

He came back with a sentient AI plushie of me and a book of ki techniques. I raised an eybrow.

"My daughter is a fan of your show, and the other item is self explanatory." He said with a smile and payed for his items and disapeared.

'Th-this guy basically robbed me!!! Why are all high gods such sleaz balls. They are rich yet they complain over chump change!!! I know they argue this is how they stay rich, but they don't care about your livleyhood!!!' I was mentally raging and contemplating my future I was then inturrupted by Mr. Sauron.

"Please tell me we are leaving this universe!" He pleaded I shook my head no but said.

"We will, but for now we will only be using magical cyborgs and clones. Also if you see a speedster, get the avatars the f**k out of their!! Use your minions you made to be in their vacinity if need be. Also remove all memories of the shop from the flashes mind, using the dopplegangers. Dont be caught!!"

*That's not needed as I have already done so, to ensure the survival of my existence.* The shop said while thinking 'I enjoy watching you too much, to see you be devoured ;also the creator dislikes those kinds of gods.'

We both sigh in relief as infinity crisis hasn't happened yet and the shop probably out protections earlier on his mind.

"Okay master I will make more avatars, as the other ones were destroyed by him. He,he shoved his cane up their *ss and they disintegrated. It wasn't pleasant sir." He said shivering and clenching his butcheeks.

"Ouch you deserve a good drink with grindlewald again." I said smiling he chuckled and said "If I have alcohol in my hands he runs away from me. Unless I can test those drunk poison bombs you made." He said smiling.

"Its only right you get compensated, maybe you can convert him to be straight jahaha" I joked and he laughed too. Little did I know he took this as a command and is to follow it out for his Master!

"Yes sir. Well I better be going as this will take a while." He said then takes off.

"Shop bring me the ancient wizard shazam."

I said

"VWORP VWORP VWORP"

in walked the ancient old man himself, he observed the surroundings and said.

"Amazing place you got here, I cant even scan it with my magic. Your not a normal being either, so I'm not surprised. Huh Novaverael?" He said smiling I replied "Which god told you my name?"

"Gaia herself, incase I was to meet you she said this "I will be waiting your visit, I dont mind the wait as I know he will see. Be careful my cutie." That's her message, I'm sure you know who she meant by he. Considering she is scared of him, I would suggest not angering him." He said as a warning.

"H-He is the worst customer I've had in my shop yet!! He basically robbed me of 2 items and I had to let him. Although he couldn't hurt me here, he was a skilled politician and blackmailed me." I exclaimed. This caused him to have his eyeswidened and he was surprised I was alive.

"She told me your essentially, the god above all while here. So to do something like that, he must be quite formidable! Luckily you survived but I'd say out of our world; if you truley want safety stay here. As for my item ,I want this magenformatics I heard so much about." He said making me think 'Why can the shop sell my creations.... not that it matters but still permission at least.'

"Very well I want all your magical knowledge in exchange, I'll even through in this book on a diffrent way to use magic. I call this the hp magic system." I explained and his eyes twinkled. He looked through and he was quite content and nodded. "Very well, here is you payment." He said then payed for his item.

"I hope you enjoy, I'm sure that I will." I said waving him off.

*Going to previous worlds for a few sales. Commencing transfer. Stabalizing Avatars to exist with distance. Complete.*

"VWORP VWORP VWORP"

In walked the one and only sorcerer king with his wife Albedo. Since his companions approved of the relationship he didnt mind.

"Welcome to my shop once more, but in a new powerful body I see. Did you find anything worth of note yet?" I asked curious what bonzey was up to. Albedo was upset that I didnt show him proper respect, but knew she was outmatched and I'm basically a unofficial supreme being.

"Ahh yes actually hehe. It seems like my god is not a reaper, so that's good but..." he said and hesitated before continuing

"She advised me to stay far away from you, as the primordial who manages you ;is known to be a trickster, prankster and overall menace to their community. Although your not his champion yet, she says your his best candidate. However, I say it's best to be on good relations then to not be." He said inwardly sweating hoping I wont prank him.

"I see, are some of these pranks deadly as I've experienced a few by now." I asked.

He hesitated before replying "You see... he also has the *#;$*@*#;@ What's this?! he has the @^@%^@*. It seems he doesnt want you to know yet. Basically his pranks always succeed and your never in any true danger. You will however remember it ,for centuries to come." He warned. Albedo didn't utter a word as she was commanded.

"I-i see.... it seems I drew the wrong straw but what is your god the God of?" I asked

He shuffled nervously and said "Magic, love, and drama." I sweatdropped and said "In a way I prefer my god now, hahaha." we laughed it off.

"Don't tell me your the magic, Peroroncino is love and touch me's wife is drama? no not her but.... oh my." I think as she is in the room.

"Indeed. Well I shall pick out an item I'm the shop, as for payment maybe I have an item you would want." He said taking out a bottle of water. I sensed great natural and spiritual energy of it. "This is fairy water, it will turn the user into a fairy. Even if you're cuteness combines, they wouldnt dare squeeze you; as they would beleive you'd break." He said as I thought if the implications and my jaw dropped. This was a solution to all my problems!!!

"What about if I want to be human sized again?"

"A simple magical spell I could teach you for a price." He replied with a smile!!

"Y-you! Is your god the god of trade too?" I asked

"No but her husband is, now before you say your magenformatics can solve this. Do keep in mind she is a god of magic." He said while chuckling.

"Th-this fine but just two items okay." He nodded and I laughed internally. 'Hahaha only up to rare is unlocked good luck shopping.'

He looked around and after a bit came back empty handed. "I only see legendary items of my world, where is the omniversal variety?" He said concerned.

"Well you see, recently my god put a restriction as he said "Going to higher worlds, requires more energy ;to keep me hidden from the gods." So there is only rare omniversal items, but I could suggest a DNA sample I acquired myself."

I was inturrupted as we heard the shop say

*Only items from the shop can be sold so pick wisely.*

"It seems we have been trolled...." He says sadly

"Yes as I suspect it doesn't require any extra energy, as he must have an access key or something." We both humm and albedo was being subdued by the shop. As she was about to attack it.

"Well.... perhaps I will settle for something recommended." He said.

"Sure I recommend this book on basic ki usage and techniques, and my famous magenformatics technique." I said and this brightened him up.

"That actually sounds good, what's this ki you speak of?" He asked and I nodded to Mr.Sauron and he burst out a simple ki aura.

Ainz and albedo felt it and were terrified, as it felt like he could destroy a planet.

"T-this is amazing, so strong but there must be a catch." He said warily about this shop and its creator.

"Well the body must be physically fit at its peak."

He drops down and yells "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

a small cloud formed around his head.

"I'm guessing this magic god, doesn't like excersise either?"

"Of course not, it's not needed when you have magic! Although my body is strong, I know it's not at the peak as I'd have to excersise for that. That's why the god uses magic to supplement it. "Exercise is boring and for the weak minded" she says." He explains getting a zombie nod from albedo. I sweatdropped at this but kept my composure.

"Who's this young boy with you, he your kid?" Ainz says.

Mr.Sauron glared back and sighed at this.

"For your knowledge I'm billions of years old, my name is Nyarlathotep just so you know." He said making a tenticle out of his hand.

This caused Ainz to pale and shake in fear.

"P-please dont tell me you got the Nyarlathotep, the crawling choas in your shop?" He asked scared as hell. This was the most creepiest scariest religions to be born on earth. It was that horrible, a said look would turn you mad!

Albedo asked confused "Why are you scared of him hes just a god of old?"

"He was trapped in the dream of Azathoth, I set him free for him to be my loyal servant. I treat him well and it was a omniversal contract so no worries." I say calming him down.

"Cough right the reason I'm scared, is because of his very dark background. Even with the contract, I hope you don't visit my world with him in tow." He said shivering at the prospect.

"My supreme one could we kick out the rude man?" Mr sauron asks me kindly getting albedo riled. "W-WHY YOU!!"

"ENOUGH!!" me and Ainz say at the same time.

"Sorry my companion, still needs to learn people skills. Hes only used to servants and people on experiment tables." I kowtow.

Ainz does aswell and says "Same thing, even with my hundreds of years; I don't know how to make them friendlier."

'Hmm I got a solution, but I'd have to take back the magenformatics technique.' I sent him a mental message.

'You drive a hard bargain, if the shop guarantees its sucess rate I will agree.'

'Shop what is the sucess rate of Ainz saying "We need humans because I'm a necromancer and even in death they will provide for the kingdom. Also since I own the world paying them, is just for show in reality." and albedo and the rest changing their view on humans.'

'* 99.9% you have to consider ,it's a drama god we are talking about.*'

"99.9% Because of your god." I said earning a nod from him.

"Fine I will just have to figure it out myself or have my god gift it to me." He said then paying for his items then slapped himself in the face.

'IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE THE WHOLE TIME WHY...' He dropped and brooded for a bit.

*Would you like a tissue customer it's for free* The shop said he was about to say yes but.... he know the maker of the shop so he said

"No thanks, I like to eat my tears." He BSed. Since he was shocked he couldn't make a better excuse. Then albedo responded

"If the supreme one wants tears, I could supply you with my own!!" We both sweatdropped and thought 'You damn trolling shop!!!'

"I wish you good luck with your new item, trust me your magic will get more powerful with excersise. Also you could make an autopilot spell." I suggested. He nodded and said

"Farwell old friend, I hope you survive your gods trolling."

"I hope you survive your gods drama, as when you become a champion you get their blessings. Hahaha" I laughed evilly at him.

"Your assuming you won't lose a part of your self by the end of this." He retorted.

"Ufu That hurt home old friend." I said

"Kukuku Yours did too, if you must know shaltear ;has received her masters approval for a harem." He said leaving immediately to go hide away and practice ki sense. Little did he know, it wont work on an undead.

"VWORP VWORP VWORP"

In walks a small girl she has short, neck-length, spiky light-blond hair. Two thick strands reach onto her rosy cheeks. She also has violet eyes with small brows. However, they turn red when she activates her dojutsu. She is small for her age. In her usual outfit, a black high collared sleeveless undershirt, a sleeveless pink kimono like shirt, long light grey pants, black fingerless gloves that reached her upper arm, brown pouch wrapped around her waist white bandages wrapped up to his knees on both legs, brown belt, and grey sandals. She was Chino Chinoike the possessor of the Ketsuryūgan.

"Welcome to my magical emporium of d.e.s.i.r.es, where you can get anything you could want." I said and she looked around, pretended to be a friendly child but I inturrupted.

"I know your true age,name and clan as for how, my shop provides me; with all information needed to best sell you an item. Owner of the Ketsuryūgan Chino Chinoike." I said and she took the defensive, activating her eyes and I copied hers. I then displayed my rinnesharingan, shocking her greatly.

"H-how do you have those eyes!!! Not just that but two. Even kaguya didnt have two, at least that's the information I gathered." She said shaking in fear as I could be a monster. She would be no match in that case.

"Fear not. I am friendly just here to sell you something, surley sasuke has spoke of my legendary shop by now?" I asked and she dropped her guard as if I'm friends with him. Then I mean her no harm.

"Well to be fair I thought it was a lie, a story of grandeur.....now I dont know what to think. How do you have those eyes thou?" She asked intrigued.

'So that means he returned to the village and had to redeem himself. Perhaps he went to retire there ,or become a full time United ninja shinobi.' I thought.

"Gift from the goddess herself, she is a friend of sorts so she allowed me to copy her bloodline." I said making her more shocked as she yelled

"No-one can copy bloodlines you liar!!"

I then activated my new Ketsuryūgan, this shocked her greatly.

"Y-YOU!" She pointed in rage.

"Hold on all bloodlines derived from her, so does it really matter. Anyways these eyes arnt as strong as my rinnesharingan." I said and she slumped in defeat and grumbled "Damn sharingans and their overpowered bull sh*t"

"Now are you going to choose an item or not?" I asked.

"If you want we even have copies of ancient techniques of your clans dojutsu. Before you ask I have techniques of all clans, extinct or not in here. No I didnt steal them, the shop makes them with its comprehension of the laws of the universe. That make such things possible. The power of creation, is the power of gods. Allowing the recreation of anything that has or will exist. Now enough about that, choose wisley." I said as she huffed in annoyance while looking throughout the shop with greed.

"Oh and its only 1 item a person." She drops 50 scrolls she had and yells "NOW YOU TELL ME!!"

she huffed in annoyance and decided to pick more carefully. She finnally found what she wanted and said "I will take this technique that allows me to control blood ,without implanting my chakra in it." I look at it and I then warn her

"That's true but if you dont jave a space affinity, it could take years to learn." she nodded back and said "I know but this will help my clans future ,even if I don't learn it myself."

"Very well in exchange I want all the information you know on your dojutsu. As it would take a while to learn it myself and why would I when this would be an equal exchange." I said shocking her and she grits her teeth and says.

"Very well, if it wasn't immensely helpful to the future of my clan I wouldn't agree." She said.

"Place your hand here and the payment will be done." I said and she followed then I thought

'Haha Bloodclone jutsu was obtained from them!!! No wonder it's a forbidden technique but with these eyes it's easy as pie.'

"Thank you for your payment, you may leave." I said bowing. She returned the bow and said with a smile "Thanks with this my clan will become a powerhouse once more, and wont need to hide in the darkness anymore." She said taking off.

"Take me to a fanfiction verse, where they have a third legendary dojutsu; that make illusions reality."

*Sorry but unless the fanfiction has enough beliefs and imagination energy. It wont exist for long or the power is useless outside. However I found a parallel universe, where they do have something simular. They call it Genjitsu no me or the eyes of reality, they are pitch black with a universe in them. You are compatible with it, as your skin is now as hard as diamonds; from using your chi affinities with senjutsu for so long. If you didnt have such a dense and durable body you would be dead from even coping it. It does have a weakness, while using it you alter their 6 senses. Also the reality around you, if you become a god. Also they need to be a lower powered god to work on them. Unless they can see into the future, they wont be able to escape. The weakness is the fact you will take their senses, making your amplified. You might say its not a weakness but with enough sound or too much a stimulus; you will die. So dont even think about using it in bed, that will be the last thing you do. Also it uses your stamina more then the rinnesharingan does, and only affects the person if they are within 100 feet. The more the people you put under the effect, it doesnt increase linear but multiplies. 1 person is 2 times, 2 is 4 times ect. Also it makes you basically blind as you see double, and it's quite disorientating.Transfering now.*

"VWORP VWORP VWORP"

In walks a small girl, with beautiful pitch black eyes with galaxies inside.

"Welcome to my magical emporium of d.e.s.i.r.es, where you can find anything you could want."

"W-why do you look like a kirby with kuruma features?" She asked stunning me.

"Shop what's the meaning of this?"

*The god that manages her, didn't want people of your world making a fanfiction of her. Also she is a reincarnater from a parallel world of yours, where Mandela died in jail. It's actually quite close to your original universe, they do swap spots here and there.*

"So that's how the Mandela effect came to be...." I said scratching my non existent chin, making the little girl stumble over to pet me.

"Your soo cute!!! My god who ever made you, made your tails the fluffiest possible. Even kuruma's tails aren't this soft!!! She prides herself on her soft tails!! OMG you purr too!!! I want to keep you forever and never let you go!!" She said looking at me then I say "Here goes nothing <Gulp> " wzzzbtzz poof. I then fly out of her arms as a small fairy, but...

"Sir you look like a baby kuruma combined with a baby kirby." Mr Sauron said.

I then felt myself grow larger ,enough to hug I was shocked!!!

"H-how, f**k how could I forget about her eyes!!!" She then squeezed me some more and I could do nothing about it. I then made a desperate plea "Shop please save me!!!"

*I'm sorry but emotional harm is not physical, so its allowed.*

"That's it fluffles Mc.Kirby-san your comming with me!" She then tried to run out of the shop with me but was stopped.

"I knew you wouldn't let me suffer!" I said thanking to the shop.

*Well she hasn't bought you, and your not for sale. Also currently your not for rent, as my creator says it's not time yet.* It replies making me reply angrily "WHAT DO YOU MEAN RENT!!! Your my shop, why can you sell me for rent!!!"

*If the creator wills it, so shall it be.*

"Mr.Sauron would you be a dear and<Substitute jutsu>" I swapped my place with his using a sealless substitution jutsu. As with kaguyas level of control over my chakra, I can manipulate it with my will.

Now she was holding him and she didn't stop as he was cute too.

"Master save me!!!" He cried

"Miss you will have to pick a product or I will have to kick you out of the shop."

She huffed then pouted and said "Fine. What do you got here anyways, isnt this just a glorified system?"

I felt like she hit me in the gut, how dare she mistake my shop with a two bit system. Those things are cheap and give you everything you want; or eventually consume you and your soul.

*I am NOT A CRUDDY SYSTEM I AM THE AMAZING EMPORIUM OF D.E.S.I.R.ES! IF YOU INSULT ME AGAIN, YOUR SOUL WONT EVEN ESCAPE MY WRATH!* It yelled retracting all the items with the walls extending. Producing a cybernetic Berus and his attendant whis. Then daleks pop out of the ground ,while berus makes a giant hakai energy ball and says

"Are you going to buy an item, or stand their and insult this "Glorified System". If so I have a nice ball of treats ,with your name on it." Cyborg Beeus said and his eyes turned red

"Ohohoho what do we have here, someone who is spewing blasphemy towards our master. It seems that delectable food will have to wait. Now berus, we cant destroy her ;as our Creator would have a better arrangement for her soul." Cyborg whis said with his eyes flickering between red, green and blue.

Meanwhile she already dropped my sauron who scurried away, and she was pale white shaking in fear.

"N-nono I meant to say a glorious shop, that is vastly superior to those dumb systems."

She said as she was about to defacate.

Then like it never happened it all reverted back.

*Well then I have the perfect item for you!! Here is a legendary necklace ,that can reduce the sideeffects of your dojutsu. It can only be used once a day for 1 hour.*

Her eyes widened and said "Thank you. Thank you glorious shop of d.e.s.i.r.es! But what would it cost?"

"Just the knowledge on how to use your dojutsu, as I've already copied yours." I said showing her but turning it off and saying. "Its too bad I can't get any item in the shop. I want that soo bad."

She then chuckled and said "Th-that actually, makes alot more sense ;then a system that gives you everything! So you can choose any payment?!" she said looked at me with respect.

I puffed up my now fairy sized c.h.e.s.t and said.

"Of course, the only thing I can't get is souls and they need to agree to it. Also intimidation isnt allowed but the shop seems exempt from rules..... but hey if I complain. He might put me in a worse body then this one, as i was a bit greedy with my wishes." I said embarrassed

She giggled and said "Well it's not like you are told the limits on your wishes, and they could just find out what you want anyways." She said and I hit my head on my desk.

"So he trolled me in thinking my wishes were greedy, and "punished me" by putting me in this body. I'll bet this body was caused because of the absorption of the omni-energy, and the only wish he granted was the shop."

*Ding Congratulations host on finding the secret behind your wishes!! As a reward you get this magical item, it will make all people that enter the shop take you seriously. Also they won't hug you or pet you.*

I looked dumbfounded as right in front of my eyes was a elongated.....

To be continued.