The Empress Of Ashes

Chapter 1. Empress Afrosa

 

 

 

Afrosa was tired from attending the banquet after a long time. The buzzing atmosphere brought out the familiar tension. It was the first banquet she had attended as the empress of the empire and the emperor’s stronghold. A banquet was held to honor the emperor’s 59th birthday. It was Afrosa’s first banquet in nearly 15 years.

 

She took a deep breath to relieve the tension and looked at Loras, vowing to take care of no one but her son. A young man with brown hair and shining like hers…. Her son, who grew up abnormally.

 

“Come play with me, Miss? Yes? I brought some drinks…”

 

“Please, don’t do this. Your Royal Highness, I’m afraid the others will see.”

 

Loras clung to Julina and whined. Julina, who was concerned about the court noble’s gaze, furrowed her brows and pushed Loras away. But Loras did not retreat.

 

“Argh!”

 

Loras, who had been teasing Julina to get her attention, ended up spilling his drink on the edge of her dress.

 

Um…Mi…sorry,…Julina. Oh, what should I do? Ahhh…”

 

“Hey, hey!”

 

Embarrassed in front of the court nobles, Julina’s eyes welled up with tears.

 

“Please go away!”

 

Julina shoved Loras and ran away. Loras, who watched Julina running away, looked back at Afrosa in tears. She held out her hands to Loras, who ran to her with tears in his eyes.

 

“Loras.”

 

“Mother…”

 

She held her son in her arms as he walked slowly on his long legs. Afrosa became accustomed to this and soothed her son. Emperor Alec’s gaze reached her. His fading eyes were monotonous, numb and tasteless. If you make eye contact for too long, without fail, a moment’s connection will form between you and the other person. You risk misunderstanding that a deeper meaning lies behind the unbroken eye contact.

 

“It’s okay, honey. A prince shouldn’t shed tears over something like this.”

 

Afrosa averted her gaze. It wasn’t difficult, and taking her gaze off him was something she had done repeatedly for a long time.

 

“What if my wife is really upset? Hmm? Mother. Mother will apologize to my wife on my behalf. Yes?”

 

Loras sobbed. Afrosa gently patted his head and wiped tears from his eyes. It was heartbreaking seeing him like that.

 

“What did she say, son?”

 

“The prince must be dignified.”

 

“Yes, he must. Julina would be happy if Loras is dignified. He’s a grown up, he must not cry like a baby.”

 

The child, who had been sobbing with a sullen face, raised his head. His sky-blue eyes were innocent. Before she knew it, her son had grown up quickly and was 23 years old. However, he was severely intellectually deficient by the poison Valerie gave him less than a month after his birth.

 

“Isn’t His Majesty’s birthday today?”

 

Afrosa gently wiped her son’s tears and patted him on the shoulder. The dull shade of her son’s eyes tore at her heart. But Afrosa smiled brightly, trying not to show her concern.

 

“…Yes, it is. Today is father’s birthday.”

 

Loras answered. Afrosa tapped his shoulders and released him from her arms. Before she knew it, her husband was approaching them. Loras nodded and then looked at his father.

 

“Father!”

 

“Loras, how are you these days?”

 

“Good. I ate cookies and picked flowers with mother…Oh, yes, and I even gave Jaime some grass.”

 

“Jaime?”

 

“Yes. Jamie is a baby goat that I got as a gift a week ago. Aristide and I named him Jamie. Do you know him too, father?”

 

“No, this is the first time I’ve heard of her today. I miss seeing Loras happy like this. Can you invite father to your palace? I would like to bring Jamie her favorite grass.”

 

Alec smiled. It was a gentle and caring smile. Loras’s face lit up, he asked excitedly.

 

“Are you sure? Do you really want to come to my place?”

 

“Of course. Father always wants to go see Loras and Aristide. “

 

Alec replied with a nod, and as kindness flashed in the Emperor’s long withered eyes, the people of the court began to look his way. Loras mumbled without even knowing it. He began to fuss, uncharacteristically for a 23 year old young man. Afrosa glanced around and grabbed Loras’s shoulders.

 

“Huh? What’s going on, mother? Do you have something to say to me?”

 

At Afrosa’s touch, Loras looked back at his mother curiously. Afrosa bit her lip lightly as she couldn’t think of anything to say.

 

Conscious of the bewilderment on his wife’s face, Alec looked at Afrosa. Afrosa’s face turned red and she finally parted her lips.

 

“Alex brought the cards earlier, why don’t you ask him to show you the magic trick? I’m afraid His Majesty is busy…..”

 

Alex was the servant who took care of Loras, and whenever there was a feast like this, he always carried something to attract Loras’s attention and make sure Loras wouldn’t ruin anything. He accompanied Loras today as well.

 

 

 

“Really? I’ll go see him now.”

 

As expected, Loras reacted to the word magic. With a sigh, Afrosa watched him as he left the table.

 

“Rose.”

 

Suddenly the emperor called her. Afrosa regained her composure and faced him. She read the sharp remnants of emotion against his lips. Nostalgia. Sadness. And anger for having separated his only son from him…. She averted her eyes. She didn’t want to read it any longer. Even if it was a piece of debris that came into contact with her by accident as if being pushed by the current, anything from him at all, emotions included, made her sick.

 

“Happy birthday, Your Majesty.”

 

Afrosa said with her hands folded neatly. She observed him with a languid gaze. His face was even, with hardly a wrinkle in sight. It was as if she was the only one that was wasting away with time. Her husband had hardly changed at all.

 

“Yes, Empress.”

 

“Your Majesty. Have you been well?”

 

Afrosa glanced at the faded eyes that stared at her relentlessly. The eyes, closed with regret, covered her mind. She averted her gaze, took a moment to breathe, and then looked graceful again. The emperor’s eyes hardened at the change in her appearance, but she moved forward unconcerned. Then she bowed gracefully. The attendant stepped forward and handed the emperor the gift she had prepared.

 

“This is….”

 

The emperor’s face was emotionless. It was as if nothing meaningful could evoke his emotion. His eyes hardened, and before long, they opened so beautifully that she couldn’t see a shadow. She was sad to see a face that reflected nothing. Afrosa also spat out prepared words like an emotionless doll.

 

“I prepared it with all my heart to congratulate Your Majesty on your birthday.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

The emperor recited. It was a short statement. Afrosa retreated. She didn’t want to be near him even for a short moment. Suddenly, she heard a voice calling quietly, “Rose.” Afrosa turned around reflexively and saw his broken face. It was as if it was about to come loose and scatter. Now it was a myriad of emotions. Feelings, anguish, memories…. The resentment and longing he had in his life, it was sad and wistful. All things that had passed… She believed that it was all dull for him too. She believed that it had faded away, that there was nothing left. She believed it had waned on him as well. She sincerely hoped it would happen and would be relieved when someone said it had.

 

‘So be free.’

 

“I have something to say. Can you give me a moment of your time?”

 

The name he had called her feverishly at one time leaked out of his lips. A sudden surge of anger swallowed her. Afrosa bit her lip.

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“Please.”

 

It was a very sad voice. Afrosa stared blankly at the man. The sharp contours beneath his black hair, combed to expose a neat forehead, were tight and clean. It was a beauty to which she was not immune. He hadn’t changed at all. He looked manly and emperor-like, even down to his old, lofty, thin wrinkles. Like a man of dignity with the world at his feet, and his young twenty year old concubines waiting for him every night. And Rose, well…sometimes just facing them was unbearable. The tangle of their gazes became too much, it was even more terrible to touch the skin.

 

“Ah!”

 

His hand quickly moved closer, grabbing Afrosa’s slender wrist. She shook off his hand as she jerked back in surprise. At once, she felt chilly. She choked on her breath. Not wanting to be any more unnerving, she turned her head away.

 

“Now that you’re so sick of me, I’ll be straight with you.”

 

“….”

 

“Do you remember?”

 

She was about to back away, but he stopped her again. She stared at him, unsure of what he was saying. He whispered urgently, his face crumpled.

 

“I asked if you remembered.”

 

Alec asked again. Afrosa’s face contorted. Her body shivered from the chill that climbed up from her wrist.

 

“…Please let go of my hand.”

 

She finally parted her lips, however, Alec didn’t let her go, his grip only tightened even more.

 

“Please…”

 

Afrosa managed to get a word out. Alec glared at her, his face completely crumpled. Afrosa denied what she saw. There was no reason for him to look like that. Ever since he ascended the throne, he always had a fierce and stubborn look on his face.

 

She couldn’t believe that this was the man that she once loved so desperately, so impatiently, so hard that there was no space for even a needle to fit in.

 

She hated the man who he became. She hated him so much that she didn’t want to believe he still had feelings for her because then, she might waiver.

 

There was no reason for such a man to crumble. There was no reason for such a man to fall apart; there was no reason for him to have lingering feelings. It shouldn’t be any other way. It had to, because….

 

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“Please answer the question.”

 

Because he had many wives.