Chapter 17

When I opened the door of the hospital room, the other Reaper placed his finger on my lips. I sighed and nodded as I understood what he was trying to signal. He needed me to keep my mouth shut and not say a word about what happened to my Reaper.

I was always overthinking, so it was often that I would get lost in my thoughts and could never remember what I was trying to do. The other Reaper then clicked his tongue and opened the door gently. He did it so that it would not make a noise and the only thing that woke me up from my stupor was the fragrance that lingered in my room. I was told that it smelled of sakura.

The door was not yet fully swung open.

Through the crack, I saw that the other reaper was looking inside and I got curious too. It’s my room, I think there’s nothing to be curious about inside, except Mr Reaper who we left behind.

I looked inside too. There’s Mr. Reaper sitting and fidgeting at the same time. After 2 gruelling minutes, he stood up and paced around the room.

“What is he doing?” I asked the other reaper. He smirked and closed his eyes for a second.

“I think he’s worried because you’re not yet back.” He whispered with a clear voice of teasing. My mouth was left agape and my heart throbbed.

“No way—”

“Well, can’t blame him.” He playfully smiled and winked at me. What a flirt.

When the other reaper seemed satisfied, he swung the door open with such vigour that Mr. Reaper flinched before turning his back to us. Can we shock the god of death? Seriously?

My Reaper turned around so fast that I was worried if somehow he had broken his neck because of it. Trying to play cool, I entered the room with the other Reaper as the left-alone Mr. Reaper eyed us both intensely.

“Why are you so surprised?” Mr Reaper’s boss asked him. He just shrugged his shoulders and there was this feeling that he rolled his eyes.

“You can go now, Senpai.” Mr. Reaper urged him. The other reaper held his chest as if he was in pain which made me laugh.

In the end, I was certain that my laughter was not appreciated by my Reaper because black smoke had appeared and suddenly enveloped his body while staring at the other reaper.

“Since someone is being so grumpy today, I will now take my leave and I’ll be back soon Mahiro-chan.” The other reaper grinned and waved his hand.

Me, who didn’t understand why he’s saying goodbye to me, simply said, “Wha— Yes, please visit us anytime.”

“Yes Mahiro, I’ll see you again.”

Silence prevailed.

I expected this since the other reaper was very noisy, but the situation right now was really awkward. I liked silent places, but being with the one I like made this the most torturing time of my life.

I tried to open my mouth and speak to get rid of the silent atmosphere but only a grunt left my lips. I hated this. I hated my lack of communication skills. It sucked. It really, sucked.

I licked my lips and found them as dry as hell. I looked around for water or any other liquids and smiled in relief when I found the juice bottle beside me. I then tried to open the bottle to ease the stuffy silence.

“Kyaaaaa—”

“What did you do?”

Perhaps I was more upset than I expected, because the moment I opened the bottle, all the juice inside squirted all over me. I immediately placed the cap back on as the Reaper went to my aid.

I looked down. The spilt juice dripped down from me to the ground, creating an orange puddle that smelled of fruit.

“What should I do!”

“How did this happen?”

I almost cried when Mr. Reaper took the bottle from my hand and rushed to take a towel from somewhere in the room and started wiping me clean. Because of the embarrassment, I couldn’t speak very well so I stayed silent.

My heart is thumping.

I can feel the rush of blood in my cheeks probably turning me beet-red.

I hated myself for feeling this kind of thrill in this kind of situation. His gentle hand that’s on the towel was making me dizzy with unknown butterflies.

I wonder if the warmth that I was feeling was from the towel. Probably not, right? I was getting these butterflies because of his hands. But the lingering thoughts made the gentle hand painful for me.

“Done.” He said.

“So sud—” I was about to complain when I realized that I would be making the same mistake again and choose not to tell.

“Hmm?”

“Yeah, thank you.”

I smiled a little. Juice was juice anyways. Even if you wiped it off, the sticky feeling would always remain and I knew that I would have to wash it off later.

“Uhm—” I said while trying to hide my blush. I looked down so that the chances of him seeing my burning cheeks would be low.

“What’s wrong?” The concern in his voice was really suffocating. I sighed as I calmed myself down and stared at him.

“You’re still holding my hand.” I said as if it didn’t bother me at all.

“Hand? Oh my bad.”

When he heard my complaint, he immediately let my hand go and turned away. I took a deep breath and calmed my raging heart when he was no longer looking. I might really die early at this rate.

I felt that we both didn’t know what to do. I was stuck sitting at my bed like a statue and Mr. Reaper was scratching his head while he paced back and forth.

Finally, he looked at me and said, “I’ll come see you tomorrow. I have stuff to do.”

He turned his back and walked away from me. My itching heart however, failed to let him go and instead called him back.

“Mr. Reaper!” I said with a tone slightly higher than normal enthusiasm. I saw him stop and look back at me, his pale upper part of his face was hidden under the dark cloak that he always wore.

“Yes?” He asked.

‘Can you take the hood off? Can you show me your expressions, that would be much better than this?’

The words that I wanted to tell him only dissolved into an unanswered phrase, “I… I honestly forgot what to tell you. Anyways, see you tomorrow!”

No matter how much I thought about the question, there’s always a ‘no’ in the answer. He could do anything for me I knew, but he could never take his hood off.

“Yes. See you tomorrow.”

The goodbyes might be a word that I say casually. But I never really expected that I would be happy to know that he would be back after the goodbyes. Since he was very nice, I knew that he would always come back.

I smiled as I saw him disappear into the window as usual.

I closed my eyes and opened them again. As my gaze landed on the window where he disappeared, I realized how empty and silent this room was. I knew that he’s not really that talkative of a person but he made my room somewhat lovely in it’s own way.

“Ah.”

I took the towel that he used from the ground and tossed it to where the laundry clothes go. It sometimes amazed me that even the slightest thing in this room reminded me of him.

I still felt his touch. I knew this was a bad feeling but I felt so addicted to those light touches that we shared. I squeezed my arm tightly and went straight to bed.

“Cold.”

The atmosphere was cold in the room right now. It once again reminded me of his cold touch. I wanted to cry because of the pent-up feelings inside but I couldn’t. For some reason I was stuck in this painful state but I couldn’t weep.

That certain throb in my chest wass what’s making me cry but my physiological self couldn’t really do it. I like Mr. Reaper but it’s not like how I like Ren. I felt like I was happier right now than I was back then.

“I like him.”

The words that I muttered disappeared into the four walls of my room. All throughout the night, I continued to feel the pain and butterflies as if reminding me that this happiness was close to its end.