Chapter 55: Rain and you

　”By the way, what time do you plan to be back home?”

“That’s…”

　Grandpa asks, breaking the stillness in the quiet air. The house is, of course, where our family living right now.

“To be honest, I was expecting things to get a little more complicated, but things are more normal and uneventful than I thought, and with all due respect to the two of you, I’m thinking that the three of us could have been fine from the start.”

“Well, I don’t care about the inconvenience to us, but okay, that’s fine then. Stay as long as you want and leave when you want.”

At first, I was really worried about living with the three of us, so I took this approach. Surprisingly, the three of us have no problems living together, and if I had to, I feel like I could go back to the house right away.

　Of course, there is awkwardness, and it is not the solution to the problem, but we have enough atmosphere to think so.

　”I’m still undecided about whether I’ll continue to live alone in the first place. It’s definitely more convenient for me considering the distance to the high school, and maybe that distance is still just right for me.”

　It’s not that I’m living alone, it’s not that my family isn’t close. After graduating from high school, go to college if possible. After that, there is no problem if we spend time together.

　”Anyway, thanks for your help, Grandpa. I’ll take it easy.”

　”…. You’re right. You’re not a child anymore.”

　I swallowed the words, “That’s not true.”

I am not ready to be an adult yet, but I can’t stay a child forever.

　That’s why I have to aim for it. For a future with no regrets.

　That is what I wished for.

“There are not many customers today. It looks like it’s going to rain, so it can’t be helped.”

　Afternoon. I didn’t go to school, but I worked part-time. I’m aware that I’m not a good student, but I’m not hiding it from the manager or Sakakibara, so I’m okay with it.

　The store is deserted. The weather was supposed to rain later in the day, so that might have had some effect.

　”You two, take a break while you still can.”

　”Yes.”

　”Understood”

　The manager instructed us to go to the bag yard together. Sitting on chairs facing each other, we took a break. Then Sakakibara asked me something like this.

　”Are your grades okay, senpai? You go to a pretty smart school, right?”

　”Oh, grades. I don’t think I have to worry. I’m studying reasonably well.”

That’s not a lie. Since I moved to live at my grandpa’s house, I’ve been studying more than ever to keep up, and I’ve already talked to my teachers about that. As long as I take care of my attendance, there is no problem.

　”How about you, Sakakibara? Can you study?”

　”… Eh, me? I am so-so. I’m really in the middle of the pack. I don’t have any particular goals, and I think I’m going to be like this for a long time.”

　”Are you involved in any club activities?”

　”I’m a homecoming club member. I’m not very good at sports. On the other hand, there was nothing I was interested in in the culture club. But now I enjoy my part-time job, so it’s fine.”

Sakakibara is not good at sports? That is somewhat surprising. I had assumed that since she has a lively image, she is also good at that kind of thing.

　”… How unusual. I can’t believe senpai would ask me something like that.”

　”Eh… Oh, you didn’t like it? I’m sorry if you didn’t like it.”

　”Mou, I’m not saying that. But you never asked me that before, and I’m glad you did.”

　”… I’m glad to hear that.”

Tilting her head, she looks up at me and says something like that. I can’t help but look away from Sakakibara.

” A little embarrassing”

　”…I’m not embarrassed.”

“No, I’m embarrassed.”

　”… Pardon me”

Perhaps satisfied with my troubled face, Sakakibara did not tease me any further, but her mouth was relaxed without her mind. This was going to rub off on me for a while.

　After the break, and for the next hour or so, it began to rain.

　After that, some customers came in and business for the day ended. I left the store with Sakakibara and walked side by side with an umbrella. I had started taking Sakakibara home after I had dropped her off near her house once before.

　”Hey, senpai, what are you going to do now?”

　Sakakibara’s eyes were fixed on me. I could tell from her face that she was not asking this question in a casual manner.

　”I understand that you want to keep your distance from the school, and I think that will actually solve the problem to some extent. Well, it’s only in Senpai’s mind. I am sure that Senpai will become swollen and won’t be touched any more. You have proof, right? Unless the other party is really stupid, I think they’ll back off.”

Sakakibara is right, and that is my first plan. Once they give up their involvement with others, this matter will be easily cleared up.

　Because Shirakawa and the others knew. They knew that the story was false and that they are wrong.

　So as long as I don’t pursue it, it will be over. It was up to me to make it all go away.

　The initiative shifted to our side with the arrival of Miyajima. Miyajima sent me a recording. As long as I had it, I was sure of the “proof”.

　That was my initial plan. Pretend it never happened and end my high school life. I was going to reset the relationship and make a fresh start.

　”I’m really frustrated by that.”

　Sakakibara said in a trembling voice. I shifted my gaze forward. If I did that, I could blame it all on the rain. She wants that, I’m sure.

　She wouldn’t want to embarrass me.

“It’s strange, isn’t it? Why should the senpai, the victim, be bothered about it? It’s okay to make a mess of everything. If you’re going to reset everything, why not just destroy it all?”

　Her voice was trembling, but I could still feel the strength in it. Her words are straight and tell me what she wants.

　She wants me to take care of myself.

　I ruminate over the words she actually said to me.

“In the end all Senpai does is put up with things. I’m not saying that running away is wrong, and I don’t think it is at all. But you are abandoning everything. You may gain something by running away, but what you can get by giving up is negligible.”

　So, Sakakibara continued. Our gazes were still forward. Without looking at each other, we still tried not to lose the heat in each other’s voice.

“I want you to be sad and cry properly. And finally, I want you to smile. Don’t give up on yourself for the last time, okay?”

　Hearing that, I felt rewarded.

　All my worries, regrets, and frustrations. I was relieved to know that there was someone outside my family who could affirm them.

　I couldn’t blame the rain for the feeling on my cheeks.

　”I’m sorry for the suddenness of this conversation. I’m sorry to talk like this.”

” That’s…”

　She laughed as she turned around and walked forward, saying, “I’m sorry I embarrassed you.”

　Then she said.

“–Senpai, I like you.”

　”… Sakakibara?”

　”I like you, senpai.”

　Naturally, as if it were a matter of course, she confessed straight out. Her eyes caught my gaze and she never allowed me to look away.

　It’s not that I think it’s unexpected. She never hid her love for me.

It’s just that I pretended not to notice it.

　I had to respond.

　There was no way I could betray her honest feelings.

“Please hold off on your answer, okay?”

“… Hold?”

“I don’t remember liking senpai who cries when talking to his junior. So, please give me an answer when everything is resolved and you become a dependable senpai again. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“…Aah, understood”

　Indeed, as long as I am thinking that Sakakibara’s words like that “saved my life,” I am not confident that I can respond to her feelings.

　”I’m embarrassed, so I’m going home. Thank you for walking me home!”

　”Ah… I appreciate it, Sakakibara.”

　I stood alone in the rain and watched Sakakibara run away without looking back at me.

　I looked up at the sky. Despite my buoyant heart, the sky still reflected a gloomy aspect.

　But I was not anxious.

I didn’t believe in unconditional trust.

　I wanted a reason. I wanted a principle for my actions, and without a reason, I couldn’t take a step forward.

　But now I knew. I was vividly informed.

　That there is indeed a feeling in this world that transcends logic.