The Hero Who Returned From Death Quits

77 – EP5. Wind Memory

“I studied the behavior of Titans in advance.”

“Huh? What do you mean by that?”

“I had a premonition of how the Titans would move.”

“So, how did you see that?”

“I watched in advance when our allies were fighting.”

Rather than speaking honestly, Ainzel chose to beat around the bush.

Even though he had promised to be honest, he felt a pang of guilt for avoiding it, but he wasn’t in a position to speak candidly either.

However, Ivercas persisted in clinging to Ainzel.

“Huh, a lie! And you’re saying you read the flow of the muscles and dealt with the Titans?”

“…When a life-or-death situation approaches, I seem to perform beyond my abilities. And maybe luck played a small part too.”

Ivercas said with a puzzled expression.

“…It doesn’t seem like it’s nothing, but each answer is getting weaker…”

“In that case, you can stop now. I have to grant my request, though.”

Ivercas nodded.

“No, that won’t do. I originally planned to ask a few more questions, but… I lost interest. I’ll ask one more question and then finish.”

“Sure, go ahead.”

Ainzel nodded.

“Alright, then… How can you fight so fearlessly, not valuing your life?”

Ainzel looked at him. Yes, it seemed that this would be the final question after all.

Given the curious nature of the spirit, Ainzel had expected this to be the last question.

At first, Ainzel tried to answer in a roundabout way.

But when he looked into Ivercas’s eyes and saw his expression, he felt something different for some reason.

“Oh, I see, I see. The reason I’m asking this question is… Even I, a spirit, am afraid of death, so I’m really curious how a mere human like you can not fear death.”

Ainzel smiled. Ivercas was still trapped in his own rules.

“If there is something more fearful than death… Everyone becomes that way.”

Ainzel told the truth for the first time. Ivercas also seemed to sense a change in his response and approached him with curiosity.

“Something more fearful than death? How can such a thing exist? If you’re human, no, if you’re a living being, you can’t think of anything beyond death.”

Ainzel smiled faintly. He had thought the same way at times. But he had died and been forced to see what lay beyond.

“For instance, if I had been afraid of death and run away, my comrades would have been injured, and this kingdom would have been destroyed. Even if it took several years.”

“Even if you don’t run away, people usually don’t think of such crazy strategies.”

“What’s different? The decision to stand and face rather than run away itself means embracing death.”

Iverkas smiled. It seemed like he had finally received a satisfactory answer.

“Well, couldn’t there have been an option to fight moderately? Perhaps, by doing so, we might eventually find a way to win.”

As Iverkas continued to ask, Ainzel replied.

“If you engage in a fight, there’s no ‘moderate.’ Fight moderately? Until when? How long must we repeat fights and conflicts endlessly without any certainty? An experience that endlessly repeats, with no end in sight, is more frightening than death.”

Ainzel said so.

An uncertain end is scary. Endless pain eventually becomes familiar. Even sadness becomes familiar over time. But it’s different from them. Getting used to the endlessly repeating time is frightening, but it’s even scarier to get used to losing things. That’s why Ainzel answered.

“What does it matter if the chances of winning are slim? What does it matter if we can die? The most important thing is that my reason for fighting… is the belief that there is a certain, not an uncertain, end, even if it’s tragic… even if it’s death… it’s better than not having an end. It’s the end I’ve chosen.”

His heart, which had been worn down countless times, gave that answer.

And that’s why he realized his position, running endlessly towards an uncertain end. That’s why he was afraid.

Compared to the fear he continued to face, the pain of death was no longer a big deal.

“… Are heroes like this from birth?”

Iverkas spoke with a look of incomprehension.

Ainzel gave a bitter smile and said, “People aren’t born as heroes from birth; they become this way from being ordinary.”

Ainzel then took a breath and said, “If you were to call it something… it would be becoming heroes.”

“I see. Honestly, the first two questions were disappointing… but the last answer was quite good. It feels like some of the curiosity has been satisfied.”

Ainzel spoke while looking at Iverkas mumbling.

“Well… in that case, will you grant my request now?”

“Of course. You’ve given an interesting answer, so now I have to pay the price from my end.”

“That’s enough.”

Iverkas monitored the leader of the Royal Guard as Ainzel requested. Honestly, it wasn’t very difficult. With magic, he could reduce his presence, and the leader of the Royal Guard couldn’t detect his magic, which had reached a master level according to the standards of those living in the middle realm. But what was important was the content.

“Humans repeat foolish actions due to their short lifespans. And these foolish beings dare to make great elves, the first actors of this continent, their shields!”

“It’s quite a dangerous ideology.”

From the perspective of the spirits, saying that elves lived longer and were wiser meant nothing. Ultimately, there was no significant difference in their eyes between elves and humans. Everyone, be it elves or humans, was prone to making foolish mistakes. No, even spirits, angels, and even demons could make mistakes. What was important was using mistakes and failures as stepping stones for growth, not avoiding making mistakes.

That’s why Iverkas heard the words of the leader of the Royal Guard as nothing more than a dangerous ideology. Believing they were flawless and looking down on other races as inferior was incredibly foolish and meaningless.

“We will go to war with humans! And we will guide the foolish humans in the right direction!”

Iverbicas frowned.

“…So, these crazy bastards are trying to kill my contractor and start a war with the empire?”

Iverbicas glared at the lieutenant. He knew that he could never defeat the empire. His contractor, Magnus, knew it too. They were both far inferior to the empire, let alone facing an ogre as ordinary humans.

But Iverbicas didn’t despise them for being irrational while pretending to be insane. He had seen it countless times.

When life loses its pride, it strives even harder to prove its own worth through rebellion. In other words, when their country is in a dire situation, they shift all the blame to the leaders and win a mental victory by claiming their superiority.

But not being strange doesn’t mean it’s not wrong. Iverbicas let out a bitter laugh. They mocked the foolish humans who made countless mistakes, yet they themselves were giving in to their emotions and making mistakes.

“Wow!”

“The fairies are great! We will regain the glory of the past!”

The glory of the past. Iverbicas laughed.

Those who have never seen the glory of the past are searching for it. Iverbicas simply laughed. A hollow laugh.

“…These guys almost started a rebellion.”

Iverbicas felt disgusted.

They were the ones he had seen since they were young fairies. When they were still young fairies, he may have been immature, but he was also a superior spirit. It didn’t make him feel good that those guys were planning to kill his contractor.

And then, his eyes widened.

“Everyone, we are not fighting for our own benefit. We don’t have ambitions for power.”

The voice of the person speaking now was so familiar.