The Human Saint Is Bored, So I Was Summoned To Another World

Well, it certainly connects the dots.

"…"

Honestly, it has been a while since I last seen Her Holiness after the royal dudes from Nerfes had left. For one, I've become busy searching for work at the town of Arles. And another reason is, I felt I have no right to meddle too much in the Saint's personal life. Her best friend, Lily, is with her, so I thought the head maid's presence is enough for her.

Plus, come on! I'm literally an outsider to the affairs of this world. I barely know of the people here, save for a few in Arles and inside the palatial gardens.

But yeah, Lily herself confessed that she was unable to prevent Her Holiness from what I think is called 'binge eating'.

"…"

I don't know. However, given the Saint's circ.u.mstances, it must've some connection with what happened between her and Nerfes' second prince. After all, one of the characteristics of people suffering from depression is having a significant change on their appetites—either they won't eat, or would always want to eat.

As for Her Holiness, she has been indulging herself with sweet things, more specifically chocolate cakes. She always had Jessica prepare an entire chocolate cake for her at least once on a set of three meals.

"…"

Yeah, I know that chocolate is a great stress-reliever, but still…

"…"

Anyway, so the Saint began to put on weight, and her dresses started to get smaller as her body expands. Add a sedentary lifestyle, and she will indeed have something to w.h.i.n.e about. Top that with a shrinking self-esteem, and that's the reason she slowly retreated from the public eye, contrary from her usual self.

Heh, like I'm one to talk though. Back on Earth, I'm also the same. Stressed out from my usual work routine, I'd always take time to stop by my favorite convenience store and order any food that catches my eyes…and sometimes, I'd go back for more 'till I feel bloated and satisfied.

Fortunately, I did some activities so I managed to maintain my weight on the average…

"Ah, Kuro…I don't know what to do anymore." Lily confided to me as we walk down the hallway. We decided to leave Her Holiness' room for a while, taking the chance to talk about the problem they're facing right now.

"…" I can't think of anything to say as of the moment. Her Holiness should be able to function like normal as before, but based on Lily's words and from what I saw back in the cathedral, she has been hiding away in her room for too long. The Human Saint is quite conceited, especially when it comes to her looks; and I could tell that she won't let herself be seen by others with what she looks like now.

Not that being fat is a bad thing. I mean, look, I know there are some individuals who are genetically 'big-boned'—or their body build tends to go to the 'big' range. It's natural, and one can't help it if it's a matter of DNA.

However, it is a different matter if it's due to excessive eating and an inactive lifestyle. Not only does it lower one's self-esteem, it's also unhealthy. It's not a surprise that back in my old world, a lot of people die every day due to weight-related illnesses.

"Hrmm…if only that stupid Simon didn't break Maddie's heart, this wouldn't happen!" Lily couldn't hide her frustrations. I could feel her intense feelings as she stomped her feet while walking around.

"Err…I think Sir Simon did the right thing." I wanted to calm the Head Maid, as well as defend the second prince's actions a little, "At least, Her Holiness' fantasies were dispelled by his act. It's better this way than we keep on our pretensions."

"On a second thought, you're right." Lily quickly agreed. Yeah, I'm getting the feeling that she didn't really think of her answer that much, but I guess this is fine as well.

"So anyway, I've been thinking of ways of helping Her Holiness…" I thoughtlessly murmured.

I can feel Lily's intense gaze filled with expectations on me.

Please don't be like that. I'm just a human, not a genius of some sort.

Well, I could tell that the Human Saint is still depressed over her heartbreak. And hey, it's pretty much normal. Heartbreaks are really painful emotionally, and it is hard to get over with, especially if you expected much from the person you love. And since you can't dictate a person on how and who they should love, it's basically a 'hopeless' situation.

Okay, so it is indeed hopeless, but what should be done in her case?

Think, Kuro, think…

"…"

Heartbreak…heartbreak…heartbreak…

"!!!"

"A break…"

"Huh? Excuse me?"

"A break!" I could see a light dawning in my mind, "Her Holiness needs a break!"

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A break.

Back in my old world, we have a lot of terms for this particular matter. Words like 'vacation', or 'leave', which are further subdivided into 'sick leaves', 'birthday leaves', and 'vacation leaves', permeate the corporate world in which I was once a part of. But no matter what term we may call it, the one thing that remains true is that it is a much-anticipated event for any over-worked employee…or for anyone who wants to take in a breath of fresh air.

"I can't understand?" Lily's face was puzzled. I could tell that her head is full of questions.

"You see, back in my work, I had this co-worker of mine who suffered a heartbreak after her longtime lover left her." I explained to her, "She can't function well with her duties, so our boss gave her a time off."

"You mean, Maddie's not going to be a Saint anymore?"

"Well, you could say it'd be like that, but only for temporary duration."

"But…" Lily was having her apprehensions, "It's not that I'm against the idea, but who'd take care of her duties as a Saint?"

"She should leave someone who could be trusted to take over some of her easiest responsibilities."

"Oh…" the Head Maid seems to have been convinced, "That seems plausible."

"Indeed, it is." I replied, "Let Her Holiness do what she usually does in a different setting. Or do some extreme fun for a while. Whatever it is, have her take an 'active' vacation; not only it will help her recover, it can also give her an ample amount of exercise to trim her body back to her old figure."

Yep, I've thought of that. Going through a heartbreak could lead to a drastic change on how a person lives her life. As for the Saint's case, she went on an eating spree, which in turn, caused her body to expand, exacerbated by her sedentary lifestyle. And, as if that's not the worst yet, having your body change into something you don't like is something that can bring you down further into depression.

And well, we can't blame people on the way they behaved like that. We're talking about sadness and depression here, and binge eating is one of the common—though not necessarily correct—way of dealing with what you're going through, for most of the time. I mean, look, who wouldn't want to chomp down on that delicious chocolate cake when you're down?

Even I would do the same!

"Alright, I guess, I should make some necessary preparations." Lily's visually hyped-up. "I always have a suitcase or two of Her Holiness' things ready for something like an official visit. I never thought it can be used for this!"

"Oh? You're going now?" I was surprised by Lily's revelation. Well, that's the Head Maid for you; of course, her title isn't something for a show. Then I asked, "By the way, where do you think is the best place for doing some recreation here in Chersea?"

"About that…" Lily paused for a moment, "…actually, I had an idea. And it's a really good place, since not only can we take a break in there, it's also where Her Holiness' family is!"

"Nice." Having a vacation with your family is a good idea…

"Yep, the place is called Fen. It's a town several miles away from the city of Kamran." Lily explained, "And it's also the capital of the fief of the Rubinforth House, the family where Her Holiness comes from."

Well, having Her Holiness' family around is a big help if we are aiming for her recovery. This is also a good timing; not only does she get to rest, the Saint would not miss the opportunity to check on her loved ones as well.

"So yes, I will have some of the maids get ready for the journey ahead." Lily told me, "Oh, and I'll also have a suitcase brought to your room, Mister Kuro, so you can pack your things as well."

"Ha?" I'm not sure if I understood clearly, "Pack my things? You want me to come as well?"

"Isn't it the case? You're joining us, right?"

"Uhh…don't you think it's Her Holiness' private matter…"

"What are you saying?" Lily had a surprised expression on her face, "It is indeed a private matter, but you've seen through our worst and been with us for almost all of it that we don't consider you as a stranger anymore!"

Well, I'm happy that Lily and Her Holiness think of me that way, but I think I just got myself involved again in something so troublesome. Haa…I guess it can't be helped then. I'm the one who suggested about the Saint taking a break so I think I'll have to see this through the end.

The face of that stern guy with a foul mouth that is Her Holiness' father floated in my mind…

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And so, it took us a few 'days' to fully prepare for the Saint's vacation.

As I've said before, Lily had suitcases prepared beforehand. That, and she also selected a few servants along with her to tag along, ready to attend to Her Holiness' daily needs. Letters and squads of advance guards were also sent ahead, obviously to secure our route and also so that the other party would be ready once we arrived at their place. She's quite fast, as if she already anticipated a situation like this one.

Lily's pretty efficient and meticulous down to the very details of this event.

On the hand, it took Lily some time to convince Her Holiness to take a break from her duties as a Saint. Her Holiness was reluctant at first, going as far as emphasizing the responsibilities that she had to bear ever since assuming the Sainthood. However, Lily made me her trump card…

Seriously guys, do I look like I can get all things done to you?

I made the Human Saint realize that as she is right now, she's virtually useless for her duties because she vowed never to go out unless she gets back her old appearance. And it's not like she's helping herself to lose weight, either. I heard from Lily that she had to manually pry that plate of chocolate cake from Her Holiness' hands when she was trying to stop her from eating another cake.

So yeah, I told the Human Saint, "If you can't be responsible for your own body, then you shouldn't assume that you're doing your duties well as a Saint too!"

I think that made Her Holiness cave in to our demands.

"…"

As for me?

Well, I couldn't even fully pack the suitcase Lily gave to me. I mean, I'm virtually empty-handed when I came to this world, and my possessions haven't increased much since then. Partly because I knew my stay in this place isn't going to be permanent, and partly because of my limited finances.

But more importantly, if you ask me, I'm not that excited. I mean, it's a good thing that I'd get the chance to have a change of setting ever since I came to this place. However, going to that place to meet that asshole back from the 'seasonal mass' is something I'm not that happy to think about.

What would I say if we meet again? Will that guy recognize me? And if so, what should I do?

This is a different world. There's no telling what would happen to me if I raise enemies in a place where I do not have much control.

Hey, that incident back in Arles when I first met Her Fluffy Holiness disguised as a slave is a different matter.

"Hmm…Master, I see that you happen to meet with Maddie's father back in the humans' seasonal mass?" Just like Her Holiness, the Beastman Saint has read my mind once again without my permission.

"Uh, yes." I still can't adjust myself from having the privacy of my head get violated by these holy women. But well, it's not that big of a deal to me, so I'll let it off as always…

"Well, if you're afraid of that guy, don't worry, you have me around as your slave, Master!" Her Fluffy Holiness proudly declared.

"'That guy'?" I'm a bit surprised by Her Fluffy Holiness' way of referring to that person. I mean, you might see me do it, but I never dare to speak it out, lest I risk getting executed for insulting a noble.

But, looks like this beastwoman, Ruro of the Wolf, has something to do with Her Holiness' family, huh?

"Actually, you're quite right, Master." Her Fluffy Holiness replied, "I once kicked Jimmy Nee Rubinforth's arse when he's young, see?"

I stared at Her Fluffy Holiness with puzzled eyes, "Jimmy Nee?"

"Maddie's ancestor."

"Oh…" Now my interest's been disturbed once again. It's the first time I heard something like this on a personal level. I mean, talking to a person who was actually there; holding a conversation with someone who saw or was involved in history as it happens.

Think of a light switch being flipped on…

"…"

On a second thought, though I wanted to ask more questions about the new information the Beastman Saint put up to me, I'm afraid I'll be getting myself involved in some private matters if I dig deeper…

I sincerely hope Ruro of the Wolf would be gracious enough to tell me the whole story behind that, though. Hope she reads this…

"Master, if you're that interested…" Her Fluffy Holiness gave me a mocking look, "You could've ask me to tell it to you instead of having me read your mind to know your wishes."

Sorry. Cultural matters, see?

"Ah, I'll tell you the story about it anyway. That's the reason why Maddie and I are friends in the first place." Her Fluffy Holiness explained. "So yeah, as I said before, Jimmy Nee Rubinforth is Maddie's ancestor. If I remember correctly, they are about 15 generations of her kind apart?"

15 generations are quite a very long time…just how old is the Beastman Saint?

"Well, humans are the shortest-lived among the five races of this world. A normal Beastman lifespan is equivalent to 30 to 40 human generations before we leave for the land of the Gods." Her Fluffy Holiness added.

Isn't it the usual setting of fantasy novels? I kind of expected that, so I'm not that surprised.

"So well, just so you know, Jimmy Nee Rubinforth is a loyal retainer for the Duke of Nerfes, back when it was still a small duchy of the old empire of Chersea. He's actually the best-rated human knight at the time with the highest rank as well."

"I see…"

"And I was still a wolf cub."

A picture of a little pug immediately came out of my mind, but I quickly tried to disperse such thoughts that I even resorted to hitting my head on the wall.

"Well…as long as you understand, Master, I'll be fine with you just shaking your head from time to time." I heard Her Fluffy Holiness' awkward reaction to my sudden movement. "Anyway, continuing on, I was still a wolf cub back then, and I am the child of Wolf Tribe's chief—"

So technically, you're a princess, huh?

"No, let me finish. I'm the child of Wolf Tribe's chief cook."

What the hell?

"So, as I was saying, Jimmy Nee, or JimmyN as we call him, is a great knight, and I was a wolf cub—"

Yeah, I know that for about 9 paragraphs already, just go on with the story.

"Ahem…and even though I was a wolf cub then, I got some big b.o.o.b.s for a child every time I turn into human."

Do you really have to tell me that?

"And well, you know, human nobles." Her Fluffy Holiness shrugged, "They always like it big."

So, let me guess, Jimmy saw your big jugs and ran after you?

"Hey, Master, it's JimmyN, pronounced like 'Jee-meen'. Please say it correctly from this moment, okay?" Her Fluffy Holiness continued, "Well, no? JimmyN likes it small and flat. That pissed me off, you know."

I'm not making any sense to Her Fluffy Holiness' story…

"Argh! You see, JimmyN is a handsome guy, and he's the most eligible bachelor back then. He's the greatest knight during his time, remember? If I recall correctly, his knight corps is called PDS which means PalaDin boyS, and their fans are called 'Knighties', like me. They have seven members: JimmyN, Gin, Van Cook, Sugar, Bee, Lei Pope and PM."

"O-okay…" Why the heck I keep on thinking about it as a Korean boy group?

"And of course, I had a crush on all of them back then! But JimmyN is different! Heck, I even bought a lot of posters of him and filled my personal cave with those back in Cherwind! Plus, I also bought the limited-edition songbook that was put out when he returned from slaying the Demon King. And that's not all! If you'll come in my old cave, I also have a 3-meter high gilded statue of him with his personal autograph on the neck! My greatest regret is his personal sword though, I wasn't able to take hold of it, because I had to be a 'big sister' to a fellow Knightie…ugh, I should've get that if it isn't for that whiny, pockmarked-faced bitch…" (She whispered that last one, but I was still able to hear it.)

Why do I really feel like I'm talking to a fangirl of a Korean boy group?

"I repeatedly defended his honor from our rival fans from the 'Archies'—ARXO. That one's composed of ugly archers, so they're barbarians. ARXO often stan PDS, so it means we're the best!"

I can feel the bloodl.u.s.t of a typical fangirl oozing out from Her Fluffy Holiness…

"By the way, I also completed my collection of PDS candlesticks that we use and wave during their fan greeting moments! Want to check it out?" Ruro's eyes were getting bloodshot the more she talks about her favorite boy group—I mean, knight corps.

"Haha…" I could only let out an awkward laugh.

The image of a crowd with fancy lighted candlesticks on their hands and waving it around entered my head. And, uh, you know…my mind is asking questions like, 'How the hell do they wave it around?'. It's a candlestick, so there's got to be a candle, and when a candle's lighted, of course the melted wax would come raining down on the people who were unfortunate to be around.

And, now that I was able to think about it, how do they even manage to keep those candlesticks lighted when they wave it?

I am already thinking that some of those screams when PDS do their fan meetups are not exactly because their fans are head-over-heels about them…melted candle wax hurts, after all.

"Uh, Your Fluffy Holiness, I think I'm interested on the incident why you kicked Mister JimmyN's arse."

The Beastman Saint suddenly was brought back to reality. "Oh, right! Yes, about that…well, I tried to kidnap JimmyN, and he fought back, so I kicked his arse because I thought he hates me and he's a jerk. Turns out, he's just freaked out by my b.o.o.b.s, that he almost vomited."

"…"

"That's it, Master."

Why did I even expect something else? I forgot I'm in the world of stupid.

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Ah, anyway, I know that Her Fluffy Holiness got way too lost in her random ramblings about this knight corps called PDS and their obnoxious rival ARXO, so I had to remind her from time to time of our topic. But well, to make things short, what I understood from her words is that Sir Jimmy Nee Rubinforth is the first among the long line of Rubinforths to serve the royal houses of Nerfes.

And that Her Fluffy Holiness had once tried to force her way on him—that almost succeeded, but he got disgusted by her big b.o.o.b.s that she got pissed and kicked his arse in front of a lot of people, humiliating him.

"…"

And, as if not to stop there, Sir Jimmy Nee's descendants vowed revenge for their revered ancestor. The Rubinforth House has been quite antagonistic towards the Great White Wolf named Ruro of the Wolf ever since.

Now talk about stupid stories…

Haa…anyway, what's the connection of that story to the friendship between the Human Saint and the Beastman Saint? Well, I don't know. I, too, got lost in that random conversation about Her Holiness' family background and by the time I finished packing and double checking on the things I would bring, Her Fluffy Holiness had been off to run around the palatial gardens.

And so, nothing much happened after that, save for several moments later, a maid came to my room to fetch my suitcase. Though I told her I'd be the one to carry it, she insisted that she would do it, so I relented and let her do her job (it's light anyway).

And then, the next thing I knew, we're on the way to Fen…

Inside the holy carriage.

Together with Her Holiness, Lily, and Her Fluffy Holiness…

Wha—

"Seems like you're pretty much out of it the whole time, Kuro?" It was Her Holiness who broke the ice.

"…" I haven't thought of an answer for that. To be honest, it's quite awkward to be in this carriage. I mean, look, I'm sitting with two of the most important people in this world, and a royalty as well. I'm something like a trash, compared to them.

I feel like I do not belong here.

"Don't say that." Her Holiness said. "At least, you're way more important than a trash."

And of course, those two bigshots have the ability to read my mind.

"So anyway, Kuro, it seems that my good friend the Great White Wolf here has told you some rather embarrassing things about my family?"

My eyes immediately fell on Her Fluffy Holiness. She quickly averted her gaze on me and looked outside.

You pug…

The Human Saint laughed softly, "Well, if you're wondering why we got close to each other when in fact, we should be enemies…I think your world has that saying, hmm…what is it again?"

This is the first time I heard Her Holiness refer to my world's culture. Perhaps she saw it in my memories?

"Ah yes! Right, this is it. 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend.'."

Oh, that. It's been quite a long time since I last heard or read of that quotation; it's giving me an odd feeling now that Her Holiness is the one saying it, considering she's of a different world. "By the way, Your Holiness, what could you mean by that?"

"Well, we got common enemies."

"Yes, I know the meaning behind that saying, but who are your common enemies?"

Just then, a resounding silence ruled over the entirety of the carriage. Her Holiness quickly averted her eyes from me, and when I looked to the Beastman Saint for an answer, she is still looking outside.

What the hell's happening? Is Her Holiness estranged from her father, or something along those lines?

It was Lily who answered for them. "Mister Kuro, if you're wondering why, you'll see soon enough. We'll be arriving at Fen after at least five long sleeps."

"Oh…"

"Yep, just lay back, and relax." Lily reminded me, "We're here for a break, remember?"

Well, I guess I should let it be for now. From the sound and looks of it, it seems that Her Holiness and Her Fluffy Holiness wanted me to know about their enemies personally, than having them tell me. And for that to happen, maybe I have to wait a few more 'sleeps' to get to Fen.