The Human Saint Is Bored, So I Was Summoned To Another World

*One time at the Holy Chambers palace*

The Holy Palatial Gardens' Head Maid, Lilyhaven Tamriel von Leese, stood by one of the windows of the palace. Her eyes looked towards the direction of the gardens, though her mind is flying elsewhere.

"Haa…" she sighed.

"That's one melancholic sigh you got there, Lily."

The Head Maid was interrupted in her train of thoughts. She turned around only to see Her Holiness, the Saint of Chersea, standing behind her.

"Y-your Holiness!" she almost jumped in surprise, "I didn't notice you at all!"

"Indeed. I've been here since the start of the chapter and was looking for you before that."

"Ha?"

"Don't mind me."

"M-my apologies, Y-your Holiness!" The Head Maid bowed, "I made you wait for long."

"Nah, it's fine." The Saint replied, "Well, to be honest, I was looking for you because lately, I noticed something different. And I'd like to confirm my thoughts about it."

The Head Maid fell silent.

"You know what I'm talking about, right Princess Lily?"

"About him?"

"Yes." The Saint answered. "That guy from the otherworld, Kuro."

The Head Maid sighed. "Well, I find him trustworthy…"

"Indeed you are. You're even willing to fight your fellow servants to protect him."

"He has done nothing wrong."

"I believe so too; I can read minds, remember?" Her Holiness smiled, "And I'm really glad you started to become lively once again."

"T-thanks, Your Holiness!"

"Yes…however, you know very well that Kuro is a different person, right?" the Saint tapped the Head Maid's shoulder, "That he won't be a replacement for your older brother."

"I understand that, Your Holiness…" the Head Maid went back to staring outside, "However, I can't help but be reminded of him. Especially, after that time when Mister Kuro pushed me out to save me."

The Saint had a sad expression in her eyes, "I'm sorry I couldn't save your brother back then."

"Hm…it's alright, Your Holiness." The Head Maid consoled her, "I know you did everything you could. It's just that, my brother decided to give up his life for me…"

Ahh…a new day has arrived.

Ever since that incident with the maids happened, I've been living quite a quiet life.

Maybe they realized I don't mean any harm and stopped plotting against me?

I don't really know; their sharp stares and grumbling remained the same though. But there's no bullying incidences against me…at least for the meantime.

Now that I think about it, I guess that happened about four days ago? Or a week?

Well, sorry about that; it seems I lost track of time. This world, Chersea, isn't like where I came from—Earth. If Earth has day and night, here at Chersea it's always light. The only real indication of the passing of time—according to what I read in the books—is when the people themselves age, or when the climate changes, similar to the seasonal cycles back in my old world.

"Hey!" I waved at a guard. "Can I know what season it is right now?"

"Hmm? Well, it's the 'Season of Sleep'." she answered, "That's why you see a lot of butterflies around."

"I see. Thanks!"

The 'Season of Sleep'. According to the books I've read, this is the season when the people of Chersea remember their dead loved ones. It is said to begin when the first butterflies appear, which they believe to contain the souls of those who died.

"So the people of Chersea also have a time for this, huh…" Somehow I began to feel nostalgic as well as melancholic, but for no reason. Perhaps this has something to do with my previous life back on Earth…

Well, I can't really say. My mind is empty anyway.

"Hmm? Time for what?"

I was surprised to see the Head Maid behind me.

"Sorry. Did I just surprise you?"

Yeah, you just did. You're going to kill me soon, you know! I wanted to say that, but well, I opted not to. It's pretty trivial anyway, so I just greeted her with my usual line, "Err…what's up?"

"Well, I just happened to pass by."

Yeah, she always says that.

"By the way, have you already taken your breakfast?" the Head Maid showed me a basket, "I happen to bring some food from the kitchen. It seems the maids there made a little more than the usual."

"Oh, actually I haven't eaten yet." Now that I remember it, I just woke up, "What have you got in there?"

"Well first, let's head to the table over there." So we took the vacant set of garden table and chairs nearby. Then, she brought out the contents of the basket, "Here's some soup, there's a bunch of bread too…"

A few moments later, the table was filled with food, complete with a fancy tablecloth and elegant drinking glasses.

Uh, Head Maid, I think this is more like a full-course meal, than something that were leftovers from the kitchen…

Oh, by the way, the Saint of Chersea allowed me to stay in her palace for a while. Actually, she doesn't really mind if I prolong or take permanent residence in her home; she says it's up to me. However, out of modesty and ethics, it is me who insisted that I would only stay here until I manage to find a house outside the Palatial walls.

"Ah there you go with the cleaning again!" After I finished breakfast with the Head Maid, I volunteered to take in some cleaning tasks. But for some reason, the Head Maid doesn't want me to do anything else…

"…"

Yep, the Saint let me stay at this place. Complete with food and other essentials…

FOR NOTHING.

Well, I do understand that Saint Maddie is a spontaneous person. But hell, this is torture! Imagine summoning me to a strange world out of boredom, and then letting me stay at her house for free!

Come on, I mean, it may sound appealing to many who want to laze around—and I'm also guilty of that—but hey, spending your entire life doing nothing except eat, sleep, drink, bathe, then rinse and repeat is freaking torture! And staying on someone else's house doubles the awkward feeling that you get; as a human, it hurts my pride.

I don't want to live and die like a free-loader.

Heck, now that I recall, even a free-loader has something to burn their days away, like playing online games forever…

So when I managed to adapt in this new setting, I immediately set out to find something to do. Like cooking, or cleaning, or doing the laundry, or reading books, or feeding the horses, or polishing the equipment of the guards of the palace.

Anything. As long as my hands were busy…

However, there's someone who keeps on preventing me to be of use.

"Kuro!" the Head Maid seemed to be angry, "Stop with the cleaning, washing the laundry, cooking and anything else that you're doing for a while; you're taking over someone else's job."

I stared blankly at the Head Maid. Well, she does have a point.

"So what am I supposed to do?" I asked her.

"Hmm…I don't know, really. Look, I'm glad that you are of help, but please don't interfere with our work here. The other servants are just pushing their work unto you and it really hurts their discipline." The Head Maid explained, "Maybe if you'd like to, you can go to the library and read the books there?"

"Good lord, I managed to finish all the books in there outside the 'restricted' section."

"Oh…" Her mind seemed to run out of ideas to tell, "Well, I'm sure you'll find something else to do."

Silence then ruled the air between us for a few moments. It was the Head Maid who eventually broke the ice.

"By the way Kuro."

"Hmm?"

"I haven't thanked you yet."

"What for?"

"Well, I know that alibi you gave me back when you got attacked in your room was a lie." She confessed, "And I really hate liars."

"Oh…" I let out a forceful laugh, "Sorry about that."

"No, no! As I've said, I haven't thanked you yet." The Head Maid answered, "I'm not angry; well, just a little bit angry. But you see, lately, I've realized why you did that."

I remained silent. I don't know what to say.

"You considered the lives of those girls who hurt you. You don't want them to lose their work, isn't it?"

Err…aren't you mistaking something, Head Maid?

But she continued, "And you also considered my feelings. To be honest, I don't want anything bad to happen to them; I mean, they only acted that way because of their love and respect for Her Holiness."

Uh-huh…just like any girl. The Head Maid's reading too much from what I did.

"And for that, thank you Kuro!"

Actually, I'm feeling guilty over that sweet, innocent smile the Head Maid showed me.

I should correct her before the misunderstanding increases…

"You know, Head Maid…" so I explained to her my reasons why I did save her subordinates. She remained silent, and I could see that she's trying to understand my side.

"Oh, so that's what you've been thinking, huh?" The Head Maid nodded in agreement, "I understand, Kuro."

Ah, I guess that's fine if the Head Maid understands. At least I won't feel bad whenever that topic was brought up.

"You're really an honest person, huh?" she commented. "I like that side of you; reminds me of someone close to me…"

"Hm?"

"Err…n-nothing! Haha!"

"…"

I don't know why, but the atmosphere suddenly grew awkward and silent.

I guess I need to change the topic…

"You know, I was wondering why the Saint summoned me if this world's as peaceful as it is." I sighed in exasperation while muttering, "I mean, there's not even a demon lord that's evil enough to make war against humans, beastfolk, dwarves and elves like in the stories."

"Ah, yeah. It's too peaceful, it's actually boring." Lily dumbfoundedly replied.

"Eh? It seems that you want war to erupt, huh?"

"Nah, don't mind me." She dismissed my comment, "I was just joking."

I stared blankly at her. This one's a closet warmonger, I'll make sure to remember that.

The Head Maid let out a forceful laugh, "Ah, you know Her Holiness, she does what she thinks would make her happy—even if it's just on a whim. But she's still a good person deep inside; I'm sure the Saint will have a purpose for you soon because it is her will to summon you."

"Yeah, I get it." I couldn't hide the disinterest in my voice; honestly, I've had enough of hearing that. Observing the customs of those around me, I noticed that the phrase 'Saint's Holy Will' is their excuse if something unfavorable happens to their lives.

After all, in this world, the 'Saints' are existences that is equated for deities.

"Oh yes, speaking of Her Holiness…" the Head Maid tapped my shoulder, "If you're looking for something to do, you could bring her lunch if you wish. The food's in the kitchen, she's currently at the courtyard attending to some visiting patrons."

"Alright. I'll do just that then!"

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I went to the palace's kitchen to get Her Holiness' food for today. The maids who were assigned to that section of the household had just finished doing their job, and was actually preparing the fancy designs for the Saint's plate, as well as for her visitors.

"Oh look, there's the l.u.s.t demon." I heard someone whispered the moment I arrived at the kitchen.

"Err…the Head Maid has ordered me to bring Her Holiness' lunch to the courtyard." I tried to disregard the hostile looks and sharp comments.

"Well, if you're eager to do our work as always, we'll let you be." It's the head of the kitchen maids; she always had this scowl on her face every time she talks to me. "Just don't touch Her Holiness' utensils, or she might get p-p-p-p-"

"P-?" This maid isn't making any sense.

"Or she might get sullied." I know she was about to say a different word but what the heck, as long as I can understand her, I'll stay silent.

"I guess I'll just get the patrons' portion?" I moved towards the patrons' plates were, but then…

"!!!"

Someone tripped me and I fell forward and face-down on the food. The maids laughed mockingly.

Or so they thought.

"What?!" Everyone was surprised when they saw me do the 'Moonwalk'.

Hah! Look at these servants' dumb faces! I bet they don't even see that coming. Oh, and hey! I think this could go down in Chersea's history as the first 'Moonwalk' in this world!

I can get famous here!

Thank you, Michael Jackson.

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Going from the kitchen to the courtyard is a little bit of a long trip. You see, in order to reach that place, I need to pass a winding maze of well-tended shrubs and fountains. Of course, the plants and water itself pose no threat.

However…

"…"

I think those idiots from the kitchen hid the food cart and is planning to ambush me as I manually carry the patrons' food to the courtyard. I mean, look—or imagine—this setting. This is like a Vietnam, where you suddenly hear the trees and shrubs speak Vietnamese for a moment, then a hail of bullets and explosions will follow a second after.

Only this time, I might get a hail of flying leaves and droplets of water. If those get into the food, it will definitely be contaminated.

But of course, I knew their plan. It's as clear as the day!

And I prepared proper counter-measures.

"!!!"

I cautiously stepped into the warzone. Watching my every move, tracking every moving branches, making sure that it is clear every turn I make.

Duck for cover, if you must.

Give them hell, if you want to survive.

Peel your eyes open, if you want to prevail.

In Vietnam, as I remember from the movies I watched, the enemy is everywhere. And the moment you let your guard down is the moment you die.

Of course, a proper Vietnam War theme song should go with it.

"Humhumhumhum…mmm….paint it black…"

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*Meanwhile, at the courtyard*

The Saint has just finished entertaining her visitors and was expecting the lunch to be served. Her patrons have already taken their seats, and the kitchen staff has already arrived with some of the food.

"Mom, look!" a child of a patron called out to her parent and pointed at something towards the garden maze.

Everyone looked towards the direction the child indicated. It was Her Holiness who broke the deafening silence of her dumbfounded visitors,

"What is that idiot doing?"

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It's been quite a while since I took a proper beating on the head.

"…"

Well, I made myself look like a moron back at the courtyard, doing those Vietnam War stunts…in the presence of the entire delegation of human and elvish patrons of Her Holiness.

It is really stupid!

And I guess the Saint was embarrassed too. She sent a book flying towards me that hit my head fair and square. After that, the Head Maid told me to cool off somewhere inside the Holy Chambers.

"…"

Now that I managed to enter this place again, I remembered how powerful and important Her Holiness is in this world. This palace is the proof of her greatness indeed.

Just take a look at those velvety carpets lying on the floor; those intricate designs are something. The lacquered side tables dotted the halls and corridors of the building; on the top are expensive-looking vases filled with strange flowers of different kinds. The tall, stained glass windows are letting in the light from the outside in its vividly colorful form. Even the bright white walls of the palace were lined with golden borders.

"…"

Fascinated by the opulence of the Saint's house, I kept on walking down the long hallways and turning left or right whenever I wish. The sheer size of this residence wouldn't bore me for a while, so I'll just wander around for the meantime.

"!!!"

My train of thoughts got interrupted when I heard a loud crash. Quickly turning on a blind corner where the sound came, I saw a broken vase on the floor. My eyes went around to look for the culprit; after all, there's no way the wind could knock that vase down since it's quite heavy.

"Hello?" I decided to call the person out.

No answer.

Then I tried again, "Anyone here?"

A moment of silence. Then I heard light footsteps on another corner of the hallway. I decided to follow the sounds. The moment I reached the blind turn, I almost jumped in surprise.

Someone else is there.

"WHOA!" We both blurted out. Then the other guy quickly drew a dagger and pointed it at me.

"Don't say a word." He threatened me, his eyes glared like he's willing to kill, "Who are you?" he asked.

"Isn't it that I'm the one who should be asking that?"

"Silence and just raise your hand."

I did just what he said. "Look, I don't have anything in me that is of value to you."

"Nah, I don't need anything from you." he explained, "It's just that you're unlucky to have seen me."

"Hm? Come on man, I won't interfere with what you're doing." I pleaded, "So can you please put away your knife?"

"Heh, that won't do kid." the man grinned, "At least, be useful and help me sneak into the Saint's room."

Huh? I gave him the blank stare as my memories of the murderous maids floated back in my mind, "Err…what do you want from that place? Do you intend to die, or something?"

The suspicious man answered me with a 'I-can't-believe-you're-asking-me-that' expression before he spoke. "I know you also sneaked in here kid; this place is a well-known all-female enclave. And you also don't wear any holy garments with you. Don't act innocent—you and I have the same goals here."

"What? Don't lump me with you!" I protested; but he's right, I don't have any holy garments with me. In fact, I'm still wearing my old Earth clothes, "I am just wandering around and admiring the place. It's my first time to come back here since the Saint brought me into her room."

"YOU WHAT?!" the man's eyes almost popped out from their sockets, "THE SAINT BROUGHT YOU INTO HER ROOM?"

"Y-yeah?" I was about to explain how Her Holiness brought me in by summoning me but the man won't listen. It seemed to me that I've struck a few strings. Oh boy, looks like I know where this is heading… "But I don't know my way back to her place. I mean, this palace is too big, after all."

The man smirked and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. "This is where this map comes in boy." He waved it to my face, "I don't need your directions; I just want a lookout."

"A lookout?" A sudden chill went through my spine, "Are you a criminal of sorts?"

"Look here, amateur." The suspicious guy frowned and sighed, "If you don't call trespassing and threatening a complete stranger at a knifepoint a criminal act, I don't know what else it is."

Damn…first, getting chased by murderous maids. Then being attacked inside my room. And now I get involved in some shady person's business.

Is there an end to my bad luck?

"Okay kid." The man sheathed his weapon. "Since we're kindred spirits here—trespassers, in particular, why don't we join our forces together? You can be the lookout while I enter Her Holiness' room."

This is getting out of hand. I better put an end to this…if only there's a guard or a maid who'd pass by. I need to stall this shady guy.

"What do you want from the Saint?" I asked.

"Don't make me go in circles, kid!" I can sense that he's getting impatient, "Are you a man? What else do we sneak here other than to steal Her Holiness' p.a.n.t.i.e.s?"

I think my ears are defective. I'm hearing stupid things again.

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P.a.n.t.i.e.s. U.n.d.e.r.w.e.a.r.

Ever since its invention, it has been one of the things that permeate the e.r.o.t.i.c fantasies of men. If I remember, there's even a country back on Earth where there is a demand for a fresh school girl's u.n.d.e.r.w.e.a.r.

"…"

Uh, make that a freshly-removed school girl's u.n.d.e.r.w.e.a.r. Complete with the authentic scent from that girl's nether regions.

Disgusting.

Even I am a man, I still got my sanity and common sense. Perversion flows in my veins; it's in my blood, but I make sure it stays in its proper place. I believe it's what separates the 'gentlemen' from rabid perverts.

And speaking of perverts, it seems like even other worlds has them.

"Hey kid." The perverted thief brought me back to reality, "So what do you say? You know how valuable Her Holiness' p.a.n.t.i.e.s can be sold to the highest bidder? You'll be forever rich and I'll become a legend if we're successful!"

So it goes to bidding, huh? Well, I'm not that surprised. Even on Earth, there were people who are willing to burn their preciously earned money just for the sake of a tiny piece of cloth.

"They even say that Her Holiness' p.a.n.t.i.e.s have an aphrodisiac effect." he added.

This is stupid.

I can only shake my head in disbelief. "Sorry man, I don't think we can be friends."

"So you're refusing to help me?" I noticed his hand is about to reach for his weapon. I know what's bound to happen next, so I wasted no time. I immediately dived and went for his arm in an effort to immobilize him.

"!!!" the man kicked my stomach and I almost lost the air in my lungs. My mind is in disarray; I couldn't think of anything else save for trying to keep his hand from drawing his dagger. In the struggle, we eventually fell down on the floor.

Desperate, I began to shout with all my might, hoping to attract someone's attention, "HELP! THERE'S A THIEF IN HERE!"

"Oh no you don't!" the man began throwing punches on my head to stop me. I kept on shouting and tried to fight back. Our struggle lasted for quite a while. However, that pervert eventually got the upper hand. Heck, being hit on the face repeatedly can sap your strength the longer the fight ensues.

"Haa…haa…" Bruised and battered, I'm trying to gasp for air.

The thief then stood up and, seeing that I can't move anymore, pulled out his knife.

Haha…I guess if this is a light novel, the most fitting title will be: 'I Got Summoned To Another World And Was Killed By A Panty Thief'.

Pretty appropriate, huh?

The thief then swung his dagger and was about to plant it on my neck when suddenly, a powerful gust of wind blew and hit my would-be killer. He was, of course, thrown off-guard, and the next thing I know, a bunch of armor-clad girls ganged him up.

The guards finally came!

"You sure did create another mess here, Kuro." A familiar voice came beside me. It's the Saint. "You always give me a proper entertainment."

And so ends the 'Panty Thief Incident'.

Or so I thought…

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I'm hungry.

I think it's been a while since I ate. Looking around, I noticed that there are no windows in this room, and the atmosphere is kind of suffocating. If I may put it, I can describe this as a dungeon.

Wait. Why am I even here?

"It seems you caught a big fish here, Mister Kuro."

It's the first time that I saw that armor-clad girl. She had a dignified stature, and her face tells me that she comes from the nobility.

"My name is Marquise Dusis Louisa Monfort. I'm the head of Her Holiness' Paladin Corps. Nice to meet you, Mister Kuro."

"Err…"

"Well, I know it's only now that we met." Marquise Monfort explained, "It's because Her Holiness sent me on an errand and only got back just now."

No, not that. I didn't intend to know that; what I want to ask is why am I here at the dungeon.

"Or you want to ask why are you here, at the dungeon?" the paladin inquired. "Well, you're under investigation."

"Ha?" I couldn't believe my ears. "Why am I under suspicion? Didn't I help you capture that weird guy earlier?"

"Hmm? What did I just say?" Marquise Monfort paused and pondered.

"That I'm under investigation?"

"I…said that?"

"Well yes!" I'm starting to get annoyed and sarcastic.

Marquise Monfort then suddenly let out a forced laugh, "Haha…sorry bud! What I mean is, I'm investigating the incident so I'll be questioning you. You're not a suspect, let me be clear, so don't worry!"

"Then why am I in the dungeon?"

"Oh, this is for 'setting the mood'. Look!" the paladin pushed the hanging light and it began to rock back and forth, "If I do this, it looks like a legitimate interrogation."

Yes…indeed it looks like an interrogation scene from a movie.

BUT WAIT A MINUTE! Do we even need this kind of atmosphere? And I thought this is just a questioning? And…I'm hungry…

"This is stupid." I muttered.

"Do you want your hands to be tied at the back for added drama?" Marquise Monfort asked.

"Uhh…can we go directly to the questions? I'm getting really hungry."

"Oh right." The paladin clapped her hands, "You can eat while we—WAIT! This is supposed to be an interrogation. The more famished you are, the better the tension! You can't eat—GUOH!"

I just heard a loud 'clang' coming from a metal helmet that hit the Marquise's head. Her eyes rolled white, and then fell down unconscious. Behind her is another girl with an indifferent expression; in her hands is the helmet she used to silence the other paladin.

"Dame Sasha Atkins, vice-captain of Paladin Corps." The new arrival gave me a tray of food, "Here, eat!"

Finally! A reasonable person appeared!

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The moment I finished eating is the time when Dame Atkins began her line of questions.

"Name?" she asked, with a pen and paper in hand.

"Kuro."

"What happened?"

"I was looking around the palace when I met that weird guy. Turns out he's a thief. He threatened me to help him with a knife. He says he wants to steal the…err…should I tell you?"

"Go on."

"The Saint's p.a.n.t.i.e.s."

"…" Dame Atkins fell silent. Her face is beet red though it remained indifferent.

"Ahem." I faked my cough to break the ice.

"True." She curtly replied. Does she have a lie-detecting device hidden somewhere?

"Err…is that all?"

"No."

"Next question?"

"Yes."

"Then what is it?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"P-p.a.n.t.i.e.s?"

"I don't know." Why do I get the feeling that this conversation is getting nowhere?

"You?"

"Me?"

"Yes."

"Me what?"

"A man?"

"Hey, is that even a legitimate question?" What kind of interrogation is this?

"Answer."

"Of course I am!"

"Then why?"

"Why what?"

"Didn't help?"

"Who?"

"Thief."

I think I'm talking to a retard. "I'm not like him. I put my urges in their proper place."

"True."

"What?"

"What?"

"What what?"

"You know, for some reason I'm having fun watching you guys talk." It was the Marquise Monfort. Apparently, she managed to recover after being hit by her subordinate in the head. "You both look stupid!"

Oh yeah? Like you're one to talk!

"Ah anyway, Dame Atkins, I'll take charge here." Marquise Monfort told her, "Continue writing down Mister Kuro's responses."

Dame Atkins gave a silent nod and backed down.

"So yeah, as I was saying earlier, you caught a big fish." Marquise Monfort began.

"Big fish?" I want an elaborate answer to what she just told me.

"Yeah. That thief you fought is the Duke Millshawn. He's a well-known u.n.d.e.r.w.e.a.r thief in all of Chersea and a dedicated pervert who's stated goal in life is to grab hold of at least one of Her Holiness' p.a.n.t.i.e.s."

"That's…quite a mission, huh?" This world is weird.

"His alias: 'The Great Sneaker'."

And even their naming convention is twisted.

"Legend has it that there hasn't been a girl's panty in this land that is safe from the Duke's hand. That's why we took extra measures to ensure the security of this place. But alas, he still managed to slip past the guards."

Well for something that should be 'extra secure', for a pervert to sneak pass the security is really something, huh?

"Fortunately, the Saint has willed…"

Oh boy, here we go again…

"…a great soul to aid her faithful paladins in the defense of her u.n.d.e.r.w.e.a.r!"

I don't like where this is heading.

Marquise Monfort is serious in her monologue, "And this great soul is even willing to sacrifice his life to safeguard the nether regions of Her Holiness…"

She said it!

"So from this day forward, allow me—the humble servant of Her Holiness, Marquise Dusis Louisa Monfort—to bestow upon you the honorable title of 'Defender of the Her Holiness' Nether Regions'—GUOH!"

I immediately spat out the water that I was drinking straight to the paladin's face. The Dame Atkins began clapping her hands emotionlessly.

"This is really stupid." I don't know how many times I've said it since coming to this world, but I can only sigh in utter exasperation.

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"You never cease to entertain me, Kuro, the Defender of my Nether Regions."

"T-thank you, Your H-holiness. But can you please omit that stupid title?" I replied.

"Oh why, oh why?" Her Holiness displayed a mockingly worried expression, "Don't you like the honor, Mister Defender?"

Haha…yep, I think Her Holiness is still angry about that embarrassing Vietnam War stunt I did earlier.

"Oh yes. Do that again in front of my patrons, and I myself will incinerate you." The gentle face of Saint Madelaine doesn't match her words, but yes, I think I'll remember that. It's quite fortunate I was able to get away from that scene with just a bump on my head, courtesy of Her Holiness herself.

"But my patrons aside, you really are something. Not only did you make them laugh, you also caught that pervert trying to sneak in my room." I don't know if she's praising me or what, but I guess I'll just let her speak her mind, "Well at least, please do that 'Vietnam War' stunt when we don't have visitors. I'm sure the rest of the household also would enjoy watching you like that."

"Oh, indeed they are." I made a really sarcastic remark, but I guess the Saint didn't mind it.

"Ah anyway, please come here." She tapped on her l.a.p. Is she telling me to place my head there?

"Of course, I am." Oh…she read my mind.

Err…wouldn't it be awkward for her? Or what about the maids? They might mistake that gesture for something perverted once again.

"Kuro, a beautiful girl is already offering you a l.a.p pillow." She read my mind again, "I don't see any reason you'll refuse the invitation, can you?"

"Err…" From the corners of my eyes I can feel the deadly stares of the maids watching my every move.

"Kuro." The Saint's face sharply changed from gentle to threatening, "I just want to heal your head injuries, that pervert thief did give you a lot of nasty bruises after all. What's keeping you?" An ominous aura began emanating for Her Holiness, and the deadly stares of her servants immediately vanished. With that, I did what she told me to do and she began chanting the healing spell.

She may be demanding or forceful, but Her Holiness is a kind soul, huh?

"I'm glad you think of me that way, Kuro. Thank you!"

F.u.c.k, she read my mind for the third time.