Chapter 50

“You did this yesterday. You came to see me when I was asleep, didn’t you? Why? Why do you only come to see me when I’m asleep?”

Adeline grabbed Kael and flooded him with questions. She was still holding Kael’s arm tightly, as if she would never let go.

“Your wrist hasn’t healed yet. You shouldn’t apply force to it…”
“No. If I let go, you’ll just leave.”

A resolute voice refused Kael’s offer.

“I haven’t spoken to you even once since the day the blizzard hit. Even though so much has happened between us.”
“…”
“If you’re acting like this because you’re sorry, you don’t have to. Seriously.”

Adeline wanted to solve this frustrating situation quickly.
She wanted to find out why Kael was avoiding her, clear up any misunderstandings, and go back to how they were before.

Kael was not to blame for the incident that took place over several days.
He had to take care of the territory, and since he couldn’t even be contacted by Adeline, she did not resent him in the slightest. As she told Simeon before, if it weren’t for Kael, she might still be locked in the box and unable to sleep.

“I don’t blame you, Your Grace. It would be a weird situation if I did. If you’re doing this out of guilt, please stop. I don’t want that.”
“…”
“You are not a sinner, but a savior.”

Adeline’s last words shook Kael.
Not a sinner, but a savior.
The word ‘savior’ pierced Kael’s heart.

“I don’t deserve to hear that, Adeline.”
“No. You deserve it. So stop now, and face me.”

Adeline’s eyes were exceptionally resolute and firm today.
Kael peeked at her over and over again and quietly captured her eyes, wanting to make eye contact with him.

‘How good it would be if it were as you said. If only I was someone who could fully accept that title.’

Swallowing the words he could not say, Kael avoided her gaze first. Looking into Adeline’s eyes seemed to reveal all the feelings that shouldn’t be revealed.

“It’s very late. Don’t overdo it. Sleep. It will be a big problem if you get worse again.”
“You didn’t answer. The reason for avoiding me, or what you’re going to do at my request not to avoid me.”

Adeline was just as desperate as Kael.
There was nothing he could say in front of her blazing eyes.

Kael bit his lips slightly and eventually opened his mouth.

“It is completely my fault that you got hurt like this. If you hadn’t gotten involved with me, you wouldn’t have gone through this. So, it’s better to keep our distance now.”
“At this point? We are already husband and wife. I am Your Grace’s Grand Duchess until we are divorced, and we will never be free from each other as long as this marriage lasts. What difference does it make to avoid each other now?”

Kael also knew how ridiculous his words were.
If he really wanted to distance himself, he had to divorce her and let her go, as Adeline said.
He had to let go of Adeline as she so much wanted, and let her live freely away from him. That way, Adeline was safe.

‘I can’t let her go.’

But funnily enough, after realizing his feelings, he didn’t have the confidence to let Adeline go.
Besides, he still felt like he could go back.

If they grew slightly apart at this point, if their distance didn’t narrow any further, it seemed to him that they could maintain the relationship in which they just had discussed their marriage contract and he merely looked at her with interest.
A relationship in which he didn’t have to let Adeline go, and could be with her because he didn’t love her.
Even though Kael knew that it was an endlessly selfish desire, he couldn’t let go of his greed.

“Nothing good will come out of us getting closer. So don’t worry too much and get some sleep.”
“No. I don’t intend to let you go until I’m convinced. You’re obviously hiding something, right? What is the real reason?”

He knew from the beginning that she was not a woman that was easy to deal with.
But when he saw Adeline not taking a single step back, the secret he had kept to himself for a long time came up to his throat.

From the time he returned to the light again, covered in blood and sweat, to the time just before he found Adeline, the words he had heard that day long ago floated around in Kael’s head.
The curse he heard, while he sat alone in the middle of the battlefield where everyone lost their lives, had imprisoned Kael every moment since that day.

‘You’ll run away after I tell you the real reason. Would you still want to hear it?’

It was a truth he could never tell her. He had to hide it as much as he could, and endure it as much as he could.

“That’s all I have to say.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“What does it matter if it’s a lie?”

He had to push Adeline away. Before the flames that had begun to rise little by little could devour Kael’s entire heart, and so before Adeline could become the target of a curse, he had to somehow distance himself from her.

“We are in a contractual relationship in the first place. Our contract is about you filling a vacant position, and in return enjoying all the power and honor that the Inver family can give you.”
“…”
“There’s no problem with me avoiding you, or you avoiding me. We are not a real couple, are we? We’re just people who made a contract.”

As the line was firmly drawn with the contract, Adeline’s eyes shook greatly. She didn’t seem to expect Kael to remind her of the contract here.

“Why I came here during the night both yesterday and today was just because I wanted to comfort you a little. That’s all.”
“…”
“Don’t forget. I asked you for a contract because you would never love me, and because I was sure that my feelings would never grow.”
“…”
“There should be no feelings at all between us. That’s what’s going to happen.”

Kael also knew how ridiculous it was to say this when they’d held hands and kissed, and how much he would break Adeline’s heart.
But for now, he had to make unreasonable demands like this.

“Don’t expect anything.”

Adeline’s eyes shook when Kael hit the wedge with his final words.
Adeline bit her lips slightly and calmed the chaos that took over her mind.
Seeing that, Kael’s hands flinched unconsciously. It must have hurt because she hadn’t healed yet, so her appearance of biting her lips tightly and holding it in bothered him.

Just as he was ridiculing himself and thinking about how ridiculous it was to think like this after hurting her, a deep concentration of emotions spread over Adeline’s face. It was a look Kael had never seen before.

“You’re right. What you’re saying is right. I crossed the line.”

Adeline said in a voice that still hadn’t fully returned.
The flames in her eyes that kept burning while she was interrogating Kael had completely extinguished, and only smoke was rising.

“I wouldn’t be like this normally, but I guess it’s because I’ve become weaker. Just forget what I asked you today.”

Adeline looked at Kael, requesting calmly. Adeline was definitely the same as before, but her liveliness had completely disappeared.

“When I was trapped in the box, I had to hold on somehow. So, I tried hard to think of a way to alleviate even the slightest pain, and every time I thought I wanted to live, I thought of you.”
“…”
“I’m still not sure why. Just calling your name silently gave me strength. It’s not like you could appear in front of me and save me if I called you anxiously, but I kept calling you again and again as if that would really happen.”
“…”
“That must have been why I got confused for a moment. The memory of relying on that moment when I was really going to die was so intense that I guess I misunderstood for a moment what line we were standing on and what our relationship was.”

Adeline simply explained why she was clinging to Kael.
Each of those words struck Kael’s heart.

“This won’t happen again. I won’t bother you. Get some rest now. As you said, it is very late.”

She told him goodbye, but Kael couldn’t turn around.
All of Adeline’s words seemed to have become a single vine that squeezed Kael tightly.

While he couldn’t get away, the light-green eyes that contained the moonlight turned to him once again.
Adeline moved her lips as if she had something more to say, then stopped again. Then, she calmly conveyed her sincerity with a look as if she was going to shake off her last words.

“I missed you.”
“…”
“All the while I was inside that box. So, I just wanted to see your face and talk to you. Because I missed you.”

The wind created by her blatant honesty instantly turned into a huge storm and hit Kael.

The brief words that she missed him cut off Kael’s reason.
He stepped closer to Adeline, who was sitting on the bed. Not expecting him to approach her, Adeline’s eyes opened wide.

It was in an instant.
Kael’s hands gently wrapped around Adeline’s face, and his lips touched her dry lips.
It was a deep kiss mixed with boiling heat and emotions, incomparable to the light kiss they shared to deceive people’s eyes.

When their lips barely separated from each other, gasping for air, and their eyes met again, Kael whispered in a low voice.

“It doesn’t matter if you curse like you’re going to kill me, or if you hit me until you release your anger.”
“…”
“But this night, instead, this night should be buried here. For both you and I.”

Then, their lips touched again.

 

——

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