The Jester of Apocalypse

Neave stood in front of Astrador, readying himself for the spar.

His body lit up as he triggered ignite and thunder nerves simultaneously. Neave prepared to rush at him and…

“Alright, stop.”

“What? Why should I already stop? I haven’t done anything yet!?”

“The deal was that I would point your mistakes out. You’ve already made enough for me to turn it into an entire lesson.”

Neave was flabbergasted. Astrador had to be pulling his leg. Neave clicked his tongue as he realized this deal's likely caveat. Astrador was about to nitpick every minuscule mistake Neave made and drag the lessons out as much as he could.

Neave wouldn’t let a god's advice go to waste, no matter how petty. To his surprise, however, the direction he was given wasn’t minor at all.

“The two ‘spirit powers’ you just triggered are atrocious. They are so bad that they wouldn’t even fit on any rating system for actual spirit powers. Below horrible, detrimental even. I don't know where to begin with just how bad they are. Let's start with the ignition power. That power is so shit, if you could inflict it on your opponents instead of yourself, it would be better, and even then, it would still be shit.”

“... That’s a bit harsh.”

“It’s also entirely appropriate.”

“What exactly makes the power so bad? So far, it has served me quite well.”

“Besides the fact that it incinerates your lungs, turns them to ash, then injects that ash directly into your bloodstream, it also cooks your body from the inside, hinders the flow of your qi, and accelerates the aging of your cells drastically.”

“... None of those are a problem. My other powers completely nullify those side effects.”

Astrador facepalmed.

“What do you mean nullify? Are you an idiot? You can get away with using it because your other powers take the brunt of the impact. That’s the only reason why that power isn’t just instant suicide. That’s not ‘nullify.’ Nullify insinuates that the other powers are removing the side effects, but they’re not. They’re just fixing the damage. That’s different. You’re stressing several other powers to use that one without killing yourself.“

“So, what do you recommend I do instead?”

Astrador lit up like the morning sky.

“Remove the–”

“No.”

Astrador sagged and shrugged.

“As the soul oath dictates, I must give you optimal advice. It’s up to you to take it or not.”

“How can I fix this issue without removing the power?”

Astrador sighed.

“Well, you could begin by using the power properly.”

“... Go on.”

“Alright. If someone from the higher realms wanted to construct a spirit power like that, for whatever reason, they would do it to generate qi. Your power does that, but the qi it produces is a temporary transformative qi that boosts your physical performance. Why don’t you try, rather than igniting the power by using it, igniting the fuel source with your qi instead? Also, don’t push the power to its limit. There is no point. Just let it take swing on its own and burn naturally.”

“Huh? How do I ignite it with my qi?”

Astrador looked bewildered at that.

“That is… An elementary qi exercise, even in the lower realms, as far as I remember. How could you not know that? How did you build such control of qi without knowledge of basic exercises?”

Neave frowned at that, and then it clicked.

“Oh… Oh! Oh, yeah, you can totally do that. I just forgot because I never needed to do it myself.”

Astrador lifted an eyebrow at that.

Neave focused for a few seconds and figured out how to produce heat with qi. It was pretty simple, really. Qi was the manifestation of potential, and potential energy was one of the most basic forms of potential.

Within a few attempts, he managed to light the ignite power manually. He frowned.

“Are you sure this is ‘optimal’? It’s really lame. The flame is burning far weaker than it usually does.”

“Try spending some qi.”

Neave used a few demanding movement techniques and spent all his qi. Instantly he noticed what was happening.

“What!? My qi reserves are filling up so quickly! How!?”

“That’s what powers like that are meant to do in the first place. Keep in mind that that power specifically is wildly subpar.”

Neave couldn’t agree with that.

“At this rate, it can refill my qi reserves in less than half a minute!”

Astrador scoffed.

“Your ‘qi reserves’ are a speck of dust compared to what you would have at a rank where you could create spirit powers. That trickle wouldn’t be noticeable on those scales, but it can improve with some practice.”

Neave’s opinion flipped quite drastically. Astrador was definitely not joking. 

“Now, it is time for that other filthy thing in your spirit. I’m tempted to recommend you don’t actively use that power, ever, but in this case, your other powers can mostly cover the side effects. Again, that electricity is coursing through your nervous system. It isn’t that bad, given that your nerves have metallic properties and your powers can heal from the damage, but the damage is unnecessary. Using that power is simply detrimental. You get nothing of value by using it.”

Neave gaped. That must have been bullshit.

“No, I get a lot from that power. It pushes my muscles past their limits. I can go a lot faster while using it.”

Astrador winced upon hearing Neave say that.

“It doesn’t ‘push’ your muscles. It fries and cramps them. Sure, you get some strength, but you lose speed. And before you say, ‘oh, but I move faster,’ that is also true, but it isn’t for the reason you believe it is. The power can accelerate your perception of time. Which is another suicidal move with lethal side effects that you get away with because of your steel nerves and your regeneration. It allows you to optimize your movements. Thus it creates the illusion of moving faster. You can already move as fast as that. You’re just not skilled enough to fully utilize your speed.”

Neave thought about it and found that what the god had said was entirely right. That made sense, too, since Neave simply hadn’t had enough time to learn how to optimize the use of his powers. Many of the same habits from the loop still stuck around, and it was well past the time for him to catch up with his own strength.

“So what do I do then?”

“There is a sort of silver lining to those corrupt powers you possess. A very shitty silver lining, but it will help you in this case. Those powers are very flexible, primarily due to vast redundancy within their construction. This means there are more ways to use the powers than just the primary function. This power, specifically, has an intriguing application. One that would still be horrible without all the other powers you have fixing the damage, but for you, it would be fitting. First, visualize your nervous system. The entire thing, every single nerve fiber you can sense in your body. It will take a while of practice, but…”

“Done.”

“I recommend you take this seriously, as messing the first step up will make it impossible for this method to work.”

“I am taking it seriously.”

Astrador lifted an eyebrow at that and cupped his chin.

“If you can finish that task so quickly, then I must say, you are a prodigy that would be revered even in the higher realms. We will see whether you’re lying or not with the next step. Now that you’ve visualized your nervous system, rather than frying it, just close the gaps.”

“Close the gaps?”

“If you’re focusing on your nerves, you should be able to sense how they send their signals. Now you must isolate all the nerves that lead to anything that isn’t a muscle. Now remove all the muscles you use without conscious thought, such as your heart. And finally, you need to use the electricity to prime every remaining nerve for action. So that the instant your brain sends the signal, the target muscle receives it. This will likely take you days to master, but…”

“Done!” Neave smiled mischievously.

Astrador sighed in disappointment.

“Kid, please, my advice is useless if you…”

Neave moved his hand. A spark of electricity visibly traveled beneath his skin to his shoulder, pec, traps, biceps, forearm, triceps, and many other minor muscles. His hand instantly appeared in front of his body in a flash. He cackled manically. 

Astrador gaped, “You’ve got to be kidding…” Something changed in Astrador’s eyes.

Neave grinned.

“Time to start the spar now, no?”

Astrador looked at Neave.

“I will cut right to the chase. I tricked you with the soul oath. I am bound to give you optimal advice. Only optimal advice. Everything else I’ve told you was to prove that I know far more about spirit powers than you can even fathom. I’ve already given you the optimal bit of advice. Remove those spirit powers.” Astrador lifted his hand, casually swinging it above his head.

The air above him shimmered and glittered as runes appeared. Countless glyphs hung above Astrador’s head.

Neave felt a strong desire to kneel and worship these holy symbols as he subconsciously seared them into his mind. He soon averted his gaze and scoffed.

“I knew there was a catch somewhere.”

“If you don’t believe a soul oath, I will spell out precisely why you should remove that filth from your spirit. Every power you have, except the distance from death, is atrocious. Even that is only good because you’re a maniac that disregards pain. Anyone else would be driven mad by being reduced to a living corpse. If given to anyone else, all of your powers suck for one reason or another. All of them. As in, every single one. Without exceptions. Your perception overloads your brain with information about your surroundings. The only reason you can endure it is because of your enhanced cognition. Even then, your perception power detects things you don’t comprehend and, if I’m right, frequently results in hallucinations. Your cognition helps you sort through this, but even that would be terrible without your steel nerves and regeneration. Your nutrient capacity would be useless without absorption, and that would be useless without your purifying blood. Your purifying blood is perpetually eating away at your veins, which are luckily crystalline, and you have regeneration to heal the damage. The crystalline veins block blood flow in small capillaries, but your sacred blood eats through that. The disgusting troll power has ruined the inner balance in your body, and again, without your sacred blood power, you would physically deform and begin looking more like a troll. Willpower strength has an incredibly high capacity, but most of its value is stored in heights of willpower no being can achieve. I could keep going for a whole day, listing all the different weaknesses and flaws. I haven’t even mentioned all of your powers.”

Neave simply smiled in response.

“You’re right. I’ve noticed a lot of the same stuff, but you’re wrong.”

“You would doubt the word of a god under soul oath? That is preposterous.”

“I’m not saying you’re lying.”

“I know you’re not. You’re assuming there is something you know that I don't. Let me clarify, kid, if I’m forced to tell you the truth, I’m telling the truth.”

Neave grinned harder. Astrador scoffed and shook his head, and readjusted his lax stance.

“It is time for the spar. Please, go ahead and demonstrate your wisdom, oh mighty one.”

Neave used just a bit of his shapeshifting power to spread his smile, which earned him another scoff from Astrador.

Neave moved. He almost immediately fell face-first to the ground. As he got off the floor, he felt a strong sense of deja vu.

The thunder nerves variation was an excellent spirit power but ridiculously difficult to use. Neave scowled at the arrogant grin on Astrador’s face.

“A child that can’t even walk yet dares strike against a god?” He teased Neave.

Neave got up, moving his body around a bit. His body was constantly cramped, and he had to synchronize the charge with his movements. Slowly, little by little, he stopped messing up the order. He fine-tuned the charge to apply adjusted amounts of power to different nerves, depending on how the muscle should move.

Astrador nodded, clearly impressed with the feat.

Soon enough, Neave had his movements under control, far from mastered, but way better than falling over spontaneously. He ran at Astrador.

Astrador closed his eyes.

A heavenly lake spread from beneath him toward every horizon, reflecting a brighter sky in a warmer realm. Neave felt his legs being washed away from beneath him as he lost height with every step and finally fell into the lake.

A whirlpool spun him around and delivered him before the four heavenly pillars. 

Neave looked up, finding the size of the heavenly pillars an enigma. They felt like they stood right behind Astrador, yet from this angle, he couldn’t tell whether they were a few meters tall or spanned entire realms. One of them, the first of the four, crashed on him.

Then the second one did, and so did the third. The fourth loomed ominously, judging his fate.

The pillar fell into the ground, rising below Neave. The world spun as it rose into the sky, and Neave now fell toward the ground. The pillar landed, crashing into the ground and…

There were never any pillars in the first place.

Yet Neave found himself legless and crushed to bits, but not dead. As his body healed, he got off the ground and faced Astrador again.

Ten heavenly candles appeared around Astrador. He licked his finger and put one out. One of Neave’s fingers withered away and turned to dust.

“Okay, now you’re just fucking with me.”

Astrador chortled and spat, barely able to hold his laughter back.

“Oh, come on, you’re no fun. Did that not humble you even a bit?”

“Just don’t accidentally break that soul oath.”

Astrador snorted at that one.

“It is impossible to break a soul oath, child. Worry not. You shall receive your optimal advice once the bout is done.”

“Good.” Neave readjusted his stance. Then he rushed at Astrador again.

Astrador stood and waited for Neave to arrive. Neave punched. Astrador grabbed Neave’s arm. Neave felt as if his shoulder was anchored in time and space. Astrador pulled Neave’s first left, and Neave’s arm broke off like a dry twig.

Neave stepped back, watching his arm slowly regenerate. As it built into a tiny stump, he stretched it out in the shape of an arm, adjusting the length as it slowly rebuilt itself.

Astrador managed to somehow look both disgusted and impressed at the same time.

Neave rushed again, clumsily fumbling as he got used to his movements. Astrador waited. Neave used a movement technique and appeared behind the god's back, and Astrador clapped his hands.

An invisible force crushed Neave, but his elastic body spared him from critical damage. Neave backed off from Astrador.

Astrador teasingly raised an eyebrow. Neave hopped around, circling the god. He was repeating the same sequence of movements, gradually adjusting them to get used to the new application of thunder nerves. With every circle he completed, his actions grew more natural.

Neave felt the process of priming his nerves becoming more automatic with every use. Then he used a movement technique to close the distance to the god.

Astrador spared him for a while, allowing Neave to get into the groove. The god effortlessly dodged everything Neave threw at him.

Neave found it extremely difficult to fight like this. Now that he was facing an opponent whose skill was far superior to his own, he felt how lackluster the mastery of his new powerset was.

Although Astrador hadn’t said anything about it, Neave felt that his speed-boosting spirit power was a serious problem. It felt like a new set of rules applied to how he moved. It was unnatural and frustrating, almost like he was a stranger in his own body.

Astrador merely observed Neave as he failed, time and time again, to make his body listen to him. Neave watched Astrador right back. At first, he felt confident he could get something out of the god’s movements, but he quickly realized that wouldn’t be the case.

It wasn’t that Astrador’s movements were too sophisticated for Neave. It was the exact opposite. Everything he did was elementary. He simply moved the right way at the right time. There was no divine power behind how he avoided Neave; hell, he wasn’t even dodging that quickly.

The problem was that Neave sucked at wielding his power. He had been facing all his issues with brute force for so long that he forgot what it was like to depend on his skill.

As his mindset gradually shifted from maximizing his brute power to mastery over his movements, he felt something click.

Something realigned inside of Neave. He felt as if the sky grew a shade redder. The pools of stale, black liquid turned into sprawling lakes of blood, acid, tar, and pus before his eyes.

The dull grey of the dusty soil beneath his feet looked vibrant red again. All thought abandoned Neave’s mind as his movements grew slower and slower. The opponent Neave faced gradually went from god…

To demon.

Astrador frowned at the change in Neave’s movements. 

Neave took a simple step forward and punched. 

Astrador stepped back and avoided it. 

So Neave took another step.

There was no flashy power behind it. There was no electric pulse beneath his skin. There was no flame burning in his lungs.

Astrador’s eyes shot wide open. 

There was no more power behind Neave’s presence. The spirit in his body, all besides his own, grew neutral as if falling asleep.

“That’s… That’s impossible.” Astrador whispered under his breath.

Astrador stood still as Neave punched again. His fist landed with a soft thud on Astrador’s body. Neave stood still with a vacant expression as he waited for Astrador to move.

Astrador contemplated it. He wasn’t sure whether playing with this was a good idea anymore. However, the soul oath dictated he first witness Neave’s capabilities if he wished to give optimal advice. So he moved.

Astrador slowly stepped back, and Neave punched again.

It was still somewhat clumsy. It felt unpracticed, tired. Rusty. Then, he struck again. Neave’s fist ponderously traveled through the air at a speed barely faster than what a mortal child could do. Astrador dodged it as it would have damaged him.

Neave took another step and punched again.

The exact sequence of punching and dodging continued for a while. Then Neave switched it up and kicked.

As time passed, Neave’s movements grew even slower, but with every slowdown, the margin of error dropped drastically.

Astrador observed this in awe. There were no flaws in Neave’s movements. None at all. Every muscle, every cell in his body, even the way his robes flapped, felt perfectly synchronized.

Neave slowed down even more. He stepped forward, his foot kicking up dust with a resonant thud. Astrador inhaled sharply. Golden runes appeared all around Neave. His fist traveled, now with the weight of his spirit behind it.

Astrador moved aside, and the strike sent a gust of mighty wind out. The negative pressure popped in their ears, and the snap of the imploding air echoed through the empty realm. Neave took another step, and the same thing happened again.

The punches turned to kicks. The kicks turned to shoves, chops, elbows, and spins; the soft glow of golden runes soon accompanied everything Neave did.

Then, the spirit power that turned willpower to strength sprung to life.

Neave punched again, but the perfection was gone. So he took a step back and slowed down again. With every punch, the spirit power's presence grew weaker until the golden runes finally lit up again.

The next punch crashed into the air, pulling tons of dust toward them as it flew out and obliterated a stretch of the obsidian wilderness. The power grew more substantial, feeding the true strikes.

The speed-boosting power sprung to life as well. The perfection was again gone, but Neave didn’t weaken the power now. Instead, thunder nerves activated as well. The movements became sloppy, bad even by the standards of far weaker cultivators.

However, they rapidly grew more refined. With every step Neave took, the balance reestablished itself until, once again, golden runes wrapped around every movement he made. He was far faster now, so the golden strikes no longer decimated the landscape, but they didn’t have to.

Neave struck ideally once every few seconds. Then once a second, twice, thrice, ten times, thirty times, seventy times, and finally a hundred times.

The air around them turned into a constant whirlpool of dissipating golden runes, and Neave’s spirit powers sprung to life, one after another. With every ability that returned, Neave’s strikes grew slower.

Finally, Neave took another step forward once the last power was back.

The life force coursing through his body stilled. Then it whirled. The golden runes igniting around Neave siphoned pure hatred out of his body.

***

They smelled a betrayer.

The one that only took and ran once it was time to give.

It was a holy duty for the betrayer to be exterminated.

***

Neave took a step forward. The crimson runes spun in the air and shot toward his legs, shredding through his robes and engraving themselves on his calf. The runes told a story of vengeance.

Every muscle, every action, every thought, and every movement told the story of the one that delivered punishment.

Astrador looked awestruck. The runes hindered him. With every step he tried to take, the betrayed told the story of a god that failed to move, a divine lord that couldn’t escape. He overwrote the wretched, twisted fate of the fallen but stopped, as there was no need.

So he observed.

Rather than movement, Neave’s actions became a tale, an epic of a tragic hero. As he twisted his hip, his back lit up with his sacrifice. As he pulled his arm back, his shoulders sang his determination.

As his fist shot forward, every inch of his arm was wrapped in red runes.

Runes that told the tale of the one that slayed a god.

Neave’s fist screamed as red energy spun around it. It landed on Astrador’s chest. The entire realm shook, and countless caves collapsed from the impact. Astrador’s robes were torn where Neave punched, and a small imprint of Neave’s fist remained behind.

The runes collapsed and screamed in disappointment and despair. Neave fell over.

Astrador stood speechless for well over a minute. Then he spoke to the barely conscious Neave.

“I can confidently give you the optimal bit of advice now. Become my disciple. I will send messengers after you, and you will be brought to the higher realms.”

Neave barely managed to grin. He lifted a meek finger in response and pointed at Astrador’s chest.

“All I need is time.”

Astrador laughed.

“I don’t think you understood me properly, kid. The only reason why that sounded like advice was due to the soul oath. So let me clarify one thing…” Astrador smiled.

“You do not have a choice.”