The Jester of Apocalypse

How could he have been so inconsiderate?

Neave was frustrated and ashamed of himself for his lack of awareness. Of course, some mortal weaknesses were a thing of the past for him, but for his allies, they were a thing of the present.

Of course.

How silly of him.

His allies had come all the way to this nightmare realm. They had been allowed into his world. Nay, they had desired to enter.

Of course!

It was only correct he showed them the utmost hospitality and welcome.

Neave had, with great effort and much help from his best buddy, glass shrub, whom he desperately had to name, created a few beautiful pieces of furniture out of some of the inferior glass shrubs.

To cast away the darkness of the cave, he created a chandelier. There, he created a makeshift fuel for a few candles by using a few alchemy techniques on slime. Then, he shaped lovely chairs out of fine glass and even made a large dinner table.

With much effort and, yet again, a lot of help from Bushy (temporary name), he shaped the glass into dishes, creating plates and fine glasses to drink from.

He needed some help from Dukean to collect metal particles from the soil to make some utensils, but that was promptly sorted. He could have made the utensils out of the glass, but given how nasty that substance was, there was too much risk that somebody would lose a finger or a tongue. Or crack a tooth or something. No need to risk such accidents.

After a quick discussion, it was decided that they would eat quite a bit further away. Namely, to get them away from the glass puppet, which Neave concluded freaked everyone out, and to find them a place to settle at, far away enough from Neave's experiments that their lives wouldn't be at risk.

And now, after much preparation, Neave brought their meal before them.

A glistening, shiny roast(?) was placed on the table before them. This wasn’t a meal suited for mere kings. Not even the emperor deserved to taste this delicacy.

Subjected to numerous techniques designed to remove toxic qi and bathed in liquid spirit, this was likely the best-prepared monster meat you could get anywhere in the entire realm.

The crowd, however, wasn’t particularly excited to eat.

Neave didn’t let that get to him, and he unceasingly pushed with his hospitality. The water created by Dukean was nastier than piss. It wasn’t the flavor that was the problem. It was the odd, floaty feel to it that gave everyone a stomachache. It also had a faint sour aftertaste for some reason.

Neave, however, was confident that he had the solution to that problem. Slime was one of the most elementary substances used in alchemy, yet its intricacies, especially at a master level, allowed for much diversity in its use.

A specific set of procedures could be used on slime to transform it into a sweet syrup. Granted, it had no nutritional value, but it wasn’t harmful either! This was a popular condiment among mortal or low-ranking women of status that wanted to taste something sweet without subjecting themselves to extra calories.

Blood slime wasn’t… The best target for this treatment, but Neave was sure it would be fine!

His allies stared at the pile of unusually and deceitfully appealing meat and the… Faintly golden-brown water in the pitcher with little excitement in their expression.

Ungrateful pricks, Neave thought, with a polite smile on his face.

Marven broke the awkward atmosphere by reaching for the ‘water.’ He poured himself a full glass and gulped it down with gusto.

However, with every gulp, less and less went down his throat, and more and more ended up in his ever-bulging cheeks. How peculiar.

Marven swallowed the rest of the water, forcing it so hard that his face turned a shade redder, and his eyelid twitched slightly. He smiled at the others shakily, shrugged, and spoke, “It was fine.”

Harel squinted at him and nodded severely, slowly reaching for the pitcher and pouring herself a slightly less full glass. She gulped it down, and almost immediately spit it out, splurting the water over the table.

She coughed and wheezed, and for the first time Neave heard her do it, she swore, “Fuck me, that tasted like bloody snot!”

Marven spoke up at that, “Hey, it really wasn’t that bad!”

“Oh please, Marv, you looked like you were swallowing rat poison!”

This got a few muffled chuckles from Gabrias and Neave, which earned them a scornful glare from Harel.

Marven took a deep breath and gathered his willpower as he reached for the roast. He forced himself to take a bite and… His eyebrows raised, “Alright, wow, this is actually good…” He didn’t know how to feel about that.

Actually, he felt that made it worse for some reason.

However, his reaction seemed genuine this time, emboldening Dukean and Gabrias to take a piece. After they confirmed that it wasn’t at all unappealing, and both made a face that clearly showcased their inner conflict about that, Hunter and Harel also joined them in taking a few pieces themselves.

After several brave souls tried themselves against the experimental slime water, it was unanimously agreed that the unaltered version was superior.

Neave had no idea what they were talking about, as he found both the basic and the sweetened versions just fine. Well, he regularly ate far nastier shit than they could imagine, so his indifference wasn’t that surprising.

As the meal proceeded, the roast shrank at an accelerated pace, and eventually, the gang found themselves full and, dare they say, vaguely relaxed… Almost.

This was about as good as their life would get for a long time, and they knew it. So it was finally the time to ask the big question.

Marven looked at Neave and asked, “So, what should we do now?”

Neave shrugged, “I don’t fucking know. Why are you asking me?”

Silence.

Marven was about to retort but couldn’t think of anything to say. So he asked Neave a question instead, “What will you do?”

“It is an absolute priority that I get the terraforming underway. Sadly I will have much less time now, so I must rush some things.”

“Shouldn’t we help you with that?”

Neave shot Marven a mocking glare, “I would say that you’d be a hindrance, but I would be lying. You would at least help a little by feeding the monsters your corpse.”

Marven knew Neave was right. Yet, he asked again, “Do you have any recommendations for what we should do in the meantime?”

Neave looked thoughtful at that, “Hmmm, I say torture yourselves. And before you go all ‘ooga booga, you shouldn’t joke about this,’ hear me out. This place sucks in many ways that will only become more apparent the more time you spend here. If you seek comfort, the pain will be much worse.

“So I say, make things as bad for yourselves as possible. That is the only real way to acclimate to this awful place. Train your willpower, sleep on glass shards, or something, I don’t know. But whatever you do…” Neave stared at them individually, briefly locking eyes with every one of them, “Do not go far from this cave. Monsters are one thing, and corrupt demons are another. If they appear and get their spiky, toothy, eyebally tentacles on you, those scars will persist even in reality. I mean it. Some ways to die are far worse than others.”

It was hard to debate that. Everyone here knew Neave was a death expert, so there wasn’t much point in debating him about it.

Neave began walking off but turned to them after a few steps, “Oh, and I won’t be that far away. I will spend most of my time either at or near the cave with the glass shrub. So, if you need help with something, send someone to pick me up, preferably Dukean or Marven.” Just as he was about to continue walking away, he turned again, “Oh, and uh… If anything nasty makes its way from where I’m at… Sorry in advance!”

With that, he disappeared.

***

There was no way to track the passage of time in the cave, so all that any one of them could rely on was an unreliable guesstimate. However, rather quickly, they deduced that even that was pointless.

If time couldn’t be tracked accurately, especially in a place where nobody could measure it, there was no point in doing it in the first place.

After Neave left, everyone sat awkwardly in the glass chairs.

Suddenly, Neave appeared out of nowhere again, “Oh, and one last thing! I will be dropping by periodically to feed you! If I forget, then, again, just send someone over! Bye for real this time!”

Neave disappeared again.

Something about the way he had phrased that left a bitter taste in everyone’s mouths. Did he perceive them as pets? Dogs he should throw a bone to occasionally?

The odds of any of them starving to death were exceptionally slim. Neave had already created a lot of water, so they could easily last for months. Cultivators could live a long time without food as well.

It didn’t take long for Marven to take a leading role in the group. They needed a direction and something to work toward, or it wouldn’t be long before everyone lost their damn minds.

He tasked Gabrias with looking for an appropriate cave for a base. Underground construction was a tricky business, and Gabrias was a rare case of someone adequately educated on how to do it.

However, according to Gabrias, anywhere was perfectly fine within these caves. Usually, one had to pay attention to many minor details when building underground. Many of those details became thoroughly irrelevant in this world, it seemed.

The cave walls had no ice in them; structural integrity was already excellent and obsidian roots held everything together.

So, they found a nearby dead end and chose to make that their temporary base. Everyone found a few solid branches and began digging, except for Marven, who used minor techniques to carve chunks of the wall out.

The others were often left feeling like they weren’t all that useful here, given that Marven did the work far better and faster than anyone else, but Marven didn’t allow them to slack off. It wasn’t a matter of efficiency. It was a matter of occupation.

Rather soon, a neat room was carved out of the cave walls. Next up, Marven decided it was time to dig into the walls to create an individual room for everyone.

That was what he said, but in reality, he really wanted to make a room for Harel as soon as possible. He didn’t think anyone would try anything under his watch, and realistically, Gabrias and Hunter were weaklings she could dispatch in moments. Still, it, yet again, wasn’t a matter of preventing someone from doing something. It was to eliminate the temptation.

Their sanity and mental health hung by a thread, and that thread also happened to be holding the integrity of their group. Anything at all that could even theoretically become a cause for conflict between them had to be eliminated immediately.

Once they had carved five rooms, they wondered whether they should make one for Neave. Everyone immediately agreed that there would be precisely zero point to doing that. Everyone except Marven, who commanded them to make the sixth room identical to the others.

Marven would do his best to treat Neave like a normal kid as much as possible. He just prayed that it would be enough to make a difference.

Soon enough, the rooms were done. Marven remembered what Neave had told them about comfort, but that wasn’t entirely correct. Humans needed a comfort zone, a space where they could isolate themselves from their problems, even temporarily.

Certainly, torturing yourself until you lost your sanity was a very efficient way to get used to terrible circumstances, but… Yeah. No wonder Neave couldn’t see anything wrong with what he had said.

The other thing Neave had said, however, Marven felt, was a bit of an understatement. According to Dukean, who had seen one of these ‘corrupt demons’ in action, they were a terrifying opponent. Dukean wasn’t confident that Marven could defeat one easily.

This made their next task straightforward—blocking off any unnecessary entrances to their cave.

It was essential to keep one, at least, and ensure Neave could return to the cave, but that didn’t mean they would leave that entrance entirely unprotected. However, it was one thing at a time.

Marven tasked Gabrias with designing a decent blockade for the cave openings while he tasked the others with removing as many black obsidian bushes as possible. He, in the meantime, went to check their surroundings to ensure they wouldn’t miss anything.

The cavern Neave had left them at was relatively close to the large room holding the glass brushes. Marven could reach that cave in approximately ten minutes, give or take a few. There were only three paths that led toward that room. Two were major cave openings, and one required a squeeze through a tight passage. Perhaps some of the other passages could also get them there, but it would likely be a trek through a long, complex maze of caves.

Marven decided that they should wall off the large passages and only leave the tiny one. This was by far the most easily defensible option, and Marven doubted Neave would have much trouble reaching them even if they completely walled themselves off.

Other than that, many passages branched into countless others. There were some that could be blocked off in bulk, which left two rather large walls that had to be constructed and seven minor blockades.

There was another little room, one that held their water reserve. Neave had created a glass cistern and filled it with water with help from Dukean. There wasn’t much to do here, not by necessity, but Marven thought it would be a good idea to clean the room up and turn it into a proper storage facility.

They could all see, more or less, but that didn’t make the cavern’s darkness any less oppressive. The less their base resembled the outer, terrifying caverns, the more easily everyone could keep their sanity.

Neave had explained why his plan was essential, and Marven had to agree. However, that left them in an awkward position since Neave was the only one with solutions to their current problems.

Marven didn’t want to disturb Neave, partially due to the danger but also because he wanted Neave to finish his work as soon as possible.

A reliable source of light would have to wait until then.

Marven returned to Gabrias, who suggested a relatively simple method for creating the walls. He suggested finding a section they wanted to expand, then having Marven excavate it.

Specifically, it should be excavated by carving large stone blocks. They should then cut holes into the blocks and polish a few of the bigger obsidian branches. Once they had holes on the top of one block, they should insert the polished branches, preferably shaped into a perfectly straight stick, and then lower another block on top of those branches, one with a few holes drilled in the bottom.

Although large walls, especially ones with massive blocks, could stand perfectly fine if they were simply stacked, Gabrias wanted to use some sort of adhesive. They didn’t have any adhesive available, not currently, so he wanted to at least create a proper joint that would hold everything together.

Perhaps they could locate some of the black liquid, but Gabrias wasn’t confident about its properties, and venturing into the caves wasn’t a good idea. So, this makeshift alternative would have to work.

They would first have to use a different strategy to create the frame since they needed to make a roughly square, or at least angular, edge before constructing the wall. Otherwise, they would have empty spaces separating the walls from the side of the cave.

Gabrias devised a special brace that would reinforce the inevitable weak points this method would create.

Marven suggested a slight change in the design. Specifically, he suggested they make the walls much thicker than Gabrias wanted. After all, they weren’t in a rush per se, and there was no reason to cut corners with the construction of the walls.

Also, Marven wanted to keep everyone busy as long as possible.

There was another benefit to this strategy. It would allow them to hollow out bigger rooms, which they would be doing a lot of. Mainly, Marven wanted a space for training and a room for storage.

According to Neave, no matter how much they cultivated inside the nightmare realm, it wouldn’t translate to their cultivation outside. However, if they could learn enough about potential, it would make realizing that potential a breeze once they were back out.

Not to mention that training made for the perfect way to keep everyone busy and their minds off the terrifying circumstances they found themselves in.

Marven went over to check on the others and see how they were doing. Dukean did his work just fine and many times faster than the other two.

Far too many times faster.

Marven observed the way Hunter and Harel worked. Hunter was doing his best and working as fast as he could, but Harel seemed to be… He didn’t want to say slacking. However, she wasn’t working fast, and it was clear from a mile away that she was thoroughly distracted.

Hunter noticed her picking up a few sharp branches and walked over to her, “You need some help?”

“No.”

“I can help you with that. You’re not supposed to hold the branch like…”

Harel shot Hunter a death glare, “I said no. Piss off.”

“Come on, let me just…” Hunter reached to grab the branch.

Marven watched in horror as Harel gripped one of the smaller branches...

And stabbed Hunter in the chest.