The Law of Averages

19:04 Cornygraham: i think ur in the clear. feds annoyed w me but whatev. not gonna make any fuss.

19:05 Daniel Newman: thx. that's a relief

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9:03 CornyGraham:File attached 51.2kb: LolCat.jpg

9:07 CornyGraham:File attached 91.1kb: FatCat.jpg

10:25 CornyGraham:File attached 5.15mb: TubeCat.gif

14:30 CornyGraham:File attached 60.4kb: PoleCat.jpg

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15:25 Daniel Newman: how r things goin

15:43 Connor McFancyPants: You've got to be more specific, Newman. I live an exceptionally busy life.

15:44 Daniel Newman: with ur powers ass

15:45 Connor McFancyPants: Things are progressing well. I've found a reliable way to activate them, and I am currently testing my limits. I suspect father will deem it safe for me to appear in public within a week.

15:45 Daniel Newman: abby says party time once ur out. invite ur grl

15:46 Connor McFancyPants: I shall inform Freya. Looking forward to it.

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8:30 BUFFBLONDE: Congratulations Daniel Newman! You have won an all access tour to the APD! Please swing by at your earliest convenience to collect your prize and fill out a job application!

8:33 Daniel Newman: nothx.

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10:10 Cornygraham:File attached 42.4kb: EgoCat.jpg

12:04 Cornygraham:File attached 3.4mb: WaterCat.gif

14:52 Cornygraham: File attached 1.2mb: GroinhitFail.jpg

18:30 Cornygraham: File attached 7.1mb: SallySmiles.jpg: Jealous?

18:31 Daniel Newman: is that a pornstar?

18:33 Cornygraham: ;)

18:34 Daniel Newman: tf is wrong wit u man

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8:30 BUFFBLONDE: Good morning, Mr. Newman! I am a representative of the Austin Police Department, and I would like to formally invite you to visit the station at your earliest convenience. There are a few questions we'd like to ask you, and an application or two that you need to fill out.

9:17 Daniel Newman: nah im gud.

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22:05 Cornygraham: File attached 4.4mb:: DancingCat.gif: This is me.

22:06 Cornygraham: File attached 6.2mb: DanceFail.gif: These are the criminals.

22:07 Cornygraham: File attached 3.0mb: IAmTheLaw.gif

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8:30 BUFFBLONDE: Mr. Newman, this is Captain Gable of the APD. I've recently been informed that there is some follow-up paperwork that you need to complete regarding the bomb incident that occurred several months ago. It seems like someone lost track

8:30 BUFFBLONDE: of it in the shuffle, and we only recently noticed. If you could visit the station and take a look at some documents for us, and maybe hear a pitch or two, that would be most convenient.

8:31 Daniel Newman: rly gregoir?

8:32 BUFFBLONDE: You are mistaken, Mr. Newman. As I said before, this is Captain Gable of the APD.

8:32 Daniel Newman: dude i have ur phone#

8:40 BUFFBLONDE: This is a general phone number used for all texts by the APD.

8:41 Daniel Newman: its on ur card.

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8:30 Kaneda Ito: Good morning Mr. Newman! This isfjoik#! jfln flag.$

8:34 Kaneda Ito: apples

8:39 Kaneda Ito: Apologies, Daniel. Gregoir got ahold of my phone for a minute there.

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22:14 Cornygraham: File attached 1.4mb: TastyTwins.jpg: Twins! Damn I'm good!

22:17 Daniel Newman: plz stop.

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10:10 Best Girl<> Hey Danny! Can you check the freezer back at my house for steak? I think I had a few that are going bad soon. Need to cook them.

10:14 Daniel Newman: File attached 7.4mb: WTF.jpg: Why do you have a walk in freezer? How did I not notice this?

10:15 Best Girl<> I like having options! ¯_(ツ)_/¯

10:17 Daniel Newman: File attached 7.1mb: meat.jpg: I don't even know what these words mean.

10:18 Best GirlOh! Grab the big wagyu plz! Thx

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1:24 Cornygraham: we got her.

1:24 Cornygraham: File attached 4.5mb: HappyCat.gif

1:25 Cornygraham: heads up tho. u might get called to testify. won't be for a while. nothing major. depends on what she spills.

8:24 Daniel Newman: congrats on the big catch. and thanks for the heads up. big relief for me.

13:09 Cornygraham: File attached 7.2mb: AmorousAmy.jpg: A hero's reward.

13:12 Daniel Newman: why

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10:15 Connor McFancyPants has started a group chat.

10:15 Connor McFancyPants has invited Daniel Newman to the group chat.

10:15 Connor McFancyPants has invited Freya Valkyrie to the group chat.

10:15 Connor McFancyPants has invited Best Girl

10:16 Connor McFancyPants: I've been cleared by multiple upgrade analysts. I can now go out in public once more.

10:17 Best Girl<> Woo! Party time! Our place, eight o'clock! Be there!

10:19 Freya Valkyrie: Thank you for the invitation, Abigail. I'll make sure Connor arrives on time.

10:20 Daniel Newman: do i get a say in this?

10:21 Connor McFancyPants: You know that's not how this works, Newman.

10:21 Best Girl<> Of course! You get to pick the chips and salsa we're using! Grab some sodas too plz :>

10:22 Daniel Newman: sigh. yes dear.

10:25 Freya Valkyrie: I make excellent smoked salmon and caviar canapés.

10:25 Best Girl<> Oh and alcohol! You can get that from my house. Liquor cabinet combo is my bday.

10:25 Best Girl<> Maybe something a little simpler Freya?

10:26 Daniel Newman: caviar is a bit too fancy for this kinda shindig

10:26 Connor McFancyPants: What would you know about fancy, Newman?

10:27 Daniel Newman: jackass

10:27 Connor McFancyPants: Peasant.

10:27 Daniel Newman: peacock

10:27 Connor McFancyPants: Simpleton.

10:28 Daniel Newman: trust fund baby

10:28 Connor McFancyPants: Sugar baby.

10:28 Best Girl<> I'll see you all tonight!

10:28 Freya Valkyrie: Yes.

10:28 Daniel Newman: fop

10:28 Daniel Newman: cya'll tonite

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