The Law of Averages

Dan paused upon entering Abby's home. Something was different. He glanced at his friend as she shut the door behind him, before snapping his head back to the open foyer. Something was different, and he was socially obligated to comment on it. He just... couldn't quite figure out what the difference was.

His eyes roamed up and around as he walked deeper into the house. There was a silver chandelier hung above the entrance. That had always been there, right? The place was always been well lit, so it seemed a safe assumption.

The color of the walls was probably the same, not that he had ever paid attention to it. They were a sort of creamy... brown? Now that he was actually looking, he could see that the color sparkled a bit in the light, as if it had been layered with dull glitter. That would not have been Dan's first choice. The walls of his room on the space station weren't even painted; they were gunmetal grey, dull, imposing, and zero maintenance.

Probably safer for him not to comment on other people's color schemes.

What else was there? The floor was stone tile, had always been stone tile, that Dan could remember. Abby kept the house temperature hovering at just above freezing, and the uncarpeted parts of the house were a nightmare on Dan's feet.

There was a little bench against the left wall for guests to sit on, and a cubby hole shelf for shoes. Dan stuffed his sneakers into it as Abby approached his side. He smiled widely at her, not having to feign his emotion in the slightest. It had been a while. Three weeks of email exchanges while Marcus taught him how to sew wounds shut and judo throw the elderly.

Dan was a little startled to realize that Abigail was his best friend in this reality.

So when she smiled prettily at him and asked, "So what do you think?" while waving at the blank wall behind her, he might have panicked a little bit.

He defaulted to his father's advice on talking to women, given to him when he had first entered high school. "I think you look terrific!"

He didn't quite facepalm after, but it was a close thing.

Abby's smile widened, though, if briefly. Her eyes crinkled at the corners, right up until she rolled them good-naturedly, and patted Dan on the chest.

"That's sweet Danny, but I meant my shiny new projector system!" She flourished her hand at the wall, and the brown-glitter paint bloomed into a kaleidoscope of colors. A grid of black lines swept across the wall, forming hundreds of colorful squares that seemed to pull themselves off the wall. Dan recoiled at the optical illusion, even as the colors resolved into clear images.

A movie played on the wall, one that he didn't recognize. Abby bounced in place slightly and let out a muffled squeal of excitement.

"I covered my house in Smart Paint!" she proclaimed proudly, gesturing at the screen with both hands. She turned back to Dan, still beaming.

"It's... nice?" Dan offered.

Abby's face fell, much to his dismay.

"I don't know anything about it!" he quickly clarified. "I'm sure it's very impressive, though."

"You don't— Ugh! You're such a Luddite!" Abby stomped her feet angrily.

Dan held up both hands in a warding gesture. "I'm just a little ignorant of some modern technology. That just means you get the chance to explain it to me!"

Dan glanced over her shoulder, keeping his hands posed defensively. "So, what does 'Smart Paint' do?"

"Hmph." Abby folded both hands across her stomach. "Technically speaking, it can alter itself according to the signal that it receives. Practically, it lets me broadcast my television and computer screens anywhere in the house. It even makes sound!"

She clapped her hands together and the screen rippled. The distortion flowed outwards to the edges of the wall, where Dan could make out slight vibrations.

Noise filled the room.

"You covered all your walls with this stuff?" Dan asked, raising his voice over the foreign tones of an Asian drama.

Abby nodded, her smile slowly returning. "It's the newest thing from Summerset. Super exclusive right now. I can't believe you haven't heard of it!"

Dan shrugged helplessly. "I've been busy."

"It was advertised for months Daniel," she informed him with a huff.

"Well, it's very neat. So no more crystal super television for you, then?"

Abby bit down nervously on her lower lip. "Technically my old TV had a slightly better picture, but it wasn't anywhere near as cool as this. You called it weird the first time you saw it. You still do!"

"Um." Dan grimaced. At the time the words had just slipped out. He hadn't expected Abby to actually pay attention to them.

"I hope you—" Dan paused, chewing over his response. There was no way she bought this just because of him. Besides, she got it from her family's company. It couldn't have been that expensive.

Right?

"I hope you got a good deal," Dan tried.

"Ehh." Abby wiggled her hand back and forth as she lead Dan towards her living room. "So-so. My brother's a miserly hardass, but grandma was fine giving the Smart Paint to me and nobody argues with her. I just... owe her a few favors now is all."

"You've never talked to me about your grandmother." Dan observed as his feet hit carpeted floor. He held back a sigh of contentment.

Abigail plopped down on her couch, and motioned Dan to take his normal chair. As soon as he was seated, Merrill made herself known by wriggling out of his front pocket, darting across the space between the furniture, and snuggling into Abby's lap.

Abby giggled softly as she stroked the fuzzy mouse. She glanced up at Dan, a wry smile on her lips. "Grandma is... grandma. Old. But strong. Strict too, but she always spoiled my brother and me. We called her Mama Ana, back when Jason and I were kids."

Her brother, Jason Summers. A man whose net worth was measured in billions. Daniel oftentimes forgot the pedigree of the woman in front of him. This was not one of those times.

"Your brother defers to her?" Dan asked.

Abby leaned back against the cushion. "Everyone defers to her. She's terrifying when she wants to be. It's... hard to describe, really. But I spent a lot of time around her when I was younger, so I'm used to it."

"Can't say I know what that's like," Dan mused. His own grandparents had passed when he was very young. He could only vaguely remember their faces.

"I remember this one time," Abby continued, staring at the ceiling reminiscing, "when I was five, maybe. My parents were overseas for some sort of business deal. Dad took Jason with him, to teach him his role, and Mama Ana was watching me at home. We were playing together. Having a tea party. I remember it perfectly."

Abby paused, and looked down to her lap. She brushed a finger across Merrill's dozing form. When she spoke again her voice was the most bitter Dan had ever heard it.

"My family had enemies. Has enemies. Nothing... direct really happens anymore. But that wasn't always the case." She wet her lips, a frown tugging down the corner of her mouth. "They knew my parents were away. Most of our security had gone with them. Half a dozen men broke into the house, thinking that, I don't know, that they could kidnap me or something."

She closed her eyes, her voice filled with horrified awe. Like she'd seen a thing, yet didn't quite want to believe it.

"They made it as far as my room. Broke down my door, shouting and screaming. Then they caught sight of grandma sitting next to me and just stopped." Abby shook her head. "She was just— just looking at them. She told them to 'Join us for tea' like they were old friends. I didn't understand what was going on, I was just a little kid. So, I had a tea party with six criminals and my grandmother."

She gnawed at the inside of her cheek, and her next words came slowly. "They kept spilling the tea. I thought they were just clumsy, but their hands wouldn't stop shaking."

Abby met Dan's gaze. Her eyes were wet. "Grandma escorted them out afterwards. We never spoke about it..." Her voice trailed off.

Dan watched her for a moment, watched her shrink into herself and fall into melancholy. Her mood always a light and fragile thing, easy to raise, easy to break. He just had to distract her.

Dan stood up, crossed the distance between them, and fell onto the couch with a grunt. Abby nearly yelped as he landed beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"It sounds like she loves you a great deal," he said, dragging her into a hug. Merrill squeaked in protest as she was dislodged from Abby's lap, and the girl snorted into his chest.

"Get off me you brute," she exclaimed playfully, pushing Dan away. He let her go easily, settling his arm above the couch. She leaned her head slightly into the crook of his elbow.

After a moment, she said, "She does. She loves me."

Dan grinned at her.

"Wanna meet her?"

Dan's grin fell like a stone.

Abby turned towards him with a hopeful smile. "She asked me to come to our family reunion this weekend. I usually skip them—my family is a bunch of raging jackasses—but I do owe her a few favors so... Come with me? You would make it bearable."

Go to a party filled with the rich and powerful, on the arm of a beautiful heiress? Him, the no-name small business owner? The dimensionally displaced semi-fugitive? The peasant? To be introduced to Grandma Terminator?

Dan had seen this movie, and he dies at the end.

But she looked so optimistic! So happy! And Dan had no defense against pretty girls.

He smiled back uneasily. "Sure, Abby. I'd love to go."