The Law of Averages

Emotions are a curious thing. They can fluctuate so wildly, so instantaneously, triggered by the simplest of acts. Joy can turn to sadness with a single phone call. Love can turn to hate through a single betrayal. And anger can turn to confusion by introducing a blonde viking named Gregoir.

This, for Dan, was much a case of the latter.

Gregoir stood like he'd just walked out of a comic book, arms fisted at his waist in a classic hero pose. His gaze lingered on Axe as the well-groomed student attempted to regain his feet before his classmates.

The crowd had, practically as one, leapt away at Gregoir's sudden appearance. Unfortunately, a group of two dozen tightly-packed students was not a recipe for coordination. They were scattered about the floor, looking far less elegant now that their finely tailored suits were rumpled and dirty. Grimaces adorned most of their faces, whether from being so disheveled or from the indignity of looking like idiots in front of an authority figure, Dan couldn't begin to guess. Either way, he was struggling not to laugh.

Axe staggered upright, smoothing out the wrinkles in his clothing before extending a hand towards his downed lady friend. The girl, Freya, if Dan remembered correctly, took it with a grateful smile and pulled herself to her feet. The couple turned towards Gregoir and leveled a pair of stares that could scorch steel.

"Good afternoon, officer," Axe acknowledged with a stiff dip of his head. Axe spoke evenly, but there was a incredulous undercurrent carefully buried within his tone. It seemed that, despite the senior's pride in law enforcement, he couldn't quite overlook the absurdity that was Gregoir Pierre-Louis. For the first time, Dan felt like there might be something agreeable about the young man.

After a long moment of contemplation, Axe added, "I didn't see you there."

"Because you were hiding beneath the floor," went unsaid by all present.

"That's because I was hiding beneath the floor!" All except Gregoir. His shameless exclamation elicited a violent twitch from the students listening to him.

Dan, being somewhat used to this by now, kept his composure. Rather than waste time feeling confused, he asked the important question: "Why?"

"It's important for recruits to maintain discipline at all times. Even, or rather especially, when faced with those who might offend them." Hearing a somewhat rational explanation coming from Gregoir's mouth knocked the whole room off-balance.

"Wait a second," Dan interjected, mind whirling. "Did you drag me here just to antagonize your trainees?" Because that would explain a lot.

Unfortunately, Gregoir looked almost offended at Dan's accusation.

"Of course not! I would never issue false praise! This was simply the best way to get you the tour that you requested. We usually have a trained officer waiting, in disguise, to harass prospective recruits, however, both Sergeant Ito and I were confident in your ability to play the part!" the bearded blonde proclaimed, beaming with pride.

He turned to Axe, his smile dimming slightly. "Mr. Graham. Your uncle boasts about you often. I had hoped you would live up to his words."

Something between pride and shame spasmed across the young man's face. He started to nod, but aborted the motion halfway to bow contritely. The girl at his side looked furious on his behalf, but mercifully remained silent.

"I have shamed myself," Axe Graham acknowledged with begrudging sincerity.

Gregoir closed the distance in a single stride, placing his massive hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"Not quite so bad as that," he rumbled as softly as he was capable of being. "Your words were crass and unprovoked, but the passion behind them was true. We do not doubt your conviction."

"His lack of respect greatly offends me," Graham stated without remorse, giving Dan the evilest of eyes.

But moments later, the student looked away.

"Even so, I should not have let his presence affect my composure," he admitted sourly.

Gregoir clapped him heartily on the shoulder, sending the boy to his knees with a pained grunt. The giant ignored this, in favor of enthusiastically preaching to the rest of the tour group.

"In the future, you will encounter many who will try to provoke you. There is no criminal alive who is a fan of law enforcement. They will disrespect you, spit upon you, hate you for what you represent. You must not give in."

Gregoir began to pace in front of the crowd as Dan watched on in bemusement. His voice rang strong and passionate; the man was clearly in his element.

"In time you will all learn, you will grow as people and, should you continue on this path, as officers. Experience is the best teacher available to us. And so—!" Gregoir clapped his hands together. "Experience is what you shall get!"

A door opened somewhere just beyond the entrance hall, and uniformed officers streamed into the room. The troop of students quickly scrambled into a loose formation, straightening ties and smoothing jackets. The two groups faced each other, with a single officer positioning himself in front of every pair of students. The placement was met with nervous smiles from the seniors.

Gregoir clapped once more, drawing attention to himself. He cleared his throat and announced, "The final part of your tour is a ride along"—Dan groaned inaudibly—"with the officer you see in front of you. We will guide you through what you might expect on an average, if calm, day. You will face no danger for the moment, as your patrols will take you far from the most dangerous parts of our fine city, but you will interact more with the citizens and communities that you wish to protect."

Smiles greeted this news, alongside a renewed wave of muttering. The mood was hopeful this time, proud and filled with anticipation. Even Graham seemed to perk up slightly, only for his shoulders to sag when he glanced towards his girlfriend.

Freya had been forcefully shuffled to the side, paired off with another face in the crowd. Graham stood alone, at the head of the group, right in front of Gregoir. A keen observer could mark the exact moment that these facts registered to the young man, as he instantly lost most of the color in his face.

And then Gregoir turned towards Dan.

"No," Dan said instantly.

"This is a perfect opportunity to settle your differences! To become comrades!" Gregoir appealed, waving his massive hand between Daniel and Axe Graham.

"Not interested," Dan repeated.

"The strongest bonds are born in battle!" Gregoir bellowed emotionally.

Dan glanced towards Graham in desperation. The young man looked ill, but whether that was a consequence of his misfortune in supervisor, or partner, was yet to be determined. Their eyes met from across the room, and a strange, silent communication took place. Mutual dislike was briefly put aside, a tentative truce was declared, and, as one, they agreed to fight against this catastrophe in the making.

Dan was no longer particularly opposed to a ride along. Some residual anger still floated about in his subconscious, urging him to prove his courage. If two dozen students could go along with it eagerly, then he could, at the least, go along with it grudgingly. The more rational side of him felt like the experience had to be safe. They'd never allow the students along otherwise.

But all that aside, Dan did not want to be anywhere near Graham, nor did Graham want to be near him. So, for this common goal, they would work together.

"Absolutely not." They spoke in sync, united for a single instant, in the hopes that solidarity might break through Gregoir's thick skull and convey just how terrible of an idea this was.

The blonde giant processed this sudden cooperation, then swelled up with pride. Much like a father who had mastered the art of embarassing his children, Gregoir gushed loudly and without context, singing obnoxious praises to all within earshot. Dan did his best to block out the words, and the accompanying embarassment, sharing a look of horror with Graham at their combined misfortune.

There was not even time to grieve, as Gregoir swept the two of them beneath his arms and guided them out the door. A slew of pitying glances followed Dan, as Gregoir's fellow officers passed along their silent condolences.

Gregoir led them to a changing room nestled deep inside the precinct, and produced a pair of duffle bags from a nearby locker. "This equipment is provided to you for the duration of the ride along, for your own safety and the safety of others. There are several items that you may only use if you feel your life is in danger, or I direct you otherwise. We'll go over those once I return."

After those simple words, the blonde bustled out of the room, muttering something about safety forms. He left the pair, who had, just moments ago, been actively antagonizing each other, completely unattended.

It was awkward.

With nothing better to do, and for the sake of keeping his hands busy, Dan unzipped the brown canvas bag and peeked inside. He could recognize... some of the items within.

A kevlar vest, always nice to have. Its presence both disturbed and comforted Dan. He hoped that it was a redundancy, rather than a necesity. Either way, he'd wear the damn thing. Dan had no idea what it felt like to get shot, and he intended to never learn the answer to that particular question.

A thin steel tube with a nozzle on top. There were no markings on it, but Dan presumed that it was some kind of pepper spray. Or, better yet, bear spray. With upgrades in existence, Dan wanted the industrial grade stuff. If it couldn't strip the varnish off a wood floor, it wasn't worth using.

An extendable police baton. Nice to know some things were exactly the same as back home. Unless it doubled as a taser. The black cylinder had a small blue LED on the side of it, next to what looked suspiciously like a battery symbol. Dan ran his hand down the device, and found a small button where his thumb might rest. He very deliberately did not press it.

A metal sphere. An ovoid with bits sticking out and a pin in the top. He couldn't even guess what that might be for. He knew what it was not. It was not a grenade. It couldn't be a grenade, because that would be insane.

Dan set it on Graham's side of the room.

The younger man had remained silent since they had left the entrance hall, seemingly consigned to his fate. Dan felt, not sorry, never sorry—but guilty. Now that the red haze had left him, Dan could acknowledge that the pompous prick had a few reasonable points. He could almost see the brat's point of view. To work hard for nine years—Who the hell has their career figured out that young?—only to see a stranger waltz in with ease. Dan hadn't earned his place. He'd lucked into this opportunity, and didn't even want it. If their positions were swapped, Dan would be salty too. The guy was still a dickhead, but Dan could sympathize with the source of his indignation.

"I don't mind leaving." The offer was unexpected for Dan, made more so by the fact that his mouth was the one making it.

Graham turned to Dan, his face blank.

"Graham right?" Dan asked.

It was like speaking to a stone wall.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot. It wasn't even my idea to come to the station so, yeah— I think I should just leave. You can get your ride along alone with Gregoir, good luck with that by the way, and I can go about my life. Yeah. Is that— does that sound good?" Words gushed out of Dan's mouth like a broken faucet, uselessly splashing against the floor. His weak attempt to connect with the youth before him, derailed at the station. Why was this so hard?

It was the right thing to do, wasn't it? The selfless thing. Making Graham uncomfortable might be entertaining for a time, but the kid deserved a chance to prove himself. Or something like that. Dan was no good at this sort of thing.

The point is, he'd be an unwelcome distraction. The kid was an asshole, but anyone who had spent a decade training to protect people was probably not an evil person. Besides, Gregoir would probably chase down Dan again. He could get a ride along later, if he still felt the urge. Later, when his presence wouldn't actively antagonize an actual prospective recruit.

It was the right thing to do.

Dan shook off his doubt, and repeated the offer. "So what do you think?"

Graham stared at him. His emotions were more controlled than before, but Dan could see the angry tension in every inch of the student's body. His eyes revealed the faintest hint of pride, of arrogance, of vindication.

With a voice filled with scorn, Graham stated, "I knew I was right about you. A coward through and through."

Oh.

Ohh, that little shit.

Anger reignited, burning brightly. Dan was going on this ride along. He was gonna harass this bastard, annoy him, show him up, make him so angry that he'd literally explode from the pressure. Dan would make him rue this day for the rest of his life, and teach the idiot not to judge a book by its cover.

Today, he'd play the part of wise mentor. Nothing too extreme, nor too cruel. But Dan was petty, and he was mean. He could find his vengeance in a more creative fashion. He had learned from the best. Marcus would be proud.

The boy would suffer.

Suffer!