The Light of my Life

Anxious Concerns

While Tamotsu wanted to remain angry at Silvia's constant interference, his thoughts ended up drifting back to the events of last night. His chest was still tight with anxiety, assured that Illyana would find him disgusting. What he enjoyed in his free time was far from degenerate. In fact it was wholesome and should be considered outstanding for not falling into the same depraved machinations like those of his grandfather.  He thought of himself as a sensible man, always knowing how best to act prudently in any given situation. 

But when it came to Illyana there were some things he found he was unwilling to compromise for. More and more he became aware that, verily, he was responsible for her well-being. Seeing her for the first time after her recovery he held critical judgments towards her, as a person. She was thin, frail and had such pallid skin one would think she had newly woken from death. 

But that's exactly what eating disorders seemed to be. 

What he had been told of her person was vastly different from the one he had met. Tamotsu had met Illyana four years ago. 

 ~**********~ 

At first he didn't believe they chose his resume out of the few who had applied. 

The waiting room was cozy. Not many people seemed to have come as he could count those about on one hand.  There were three women and only two men, including him. They were far more sharply dressed, not to say he hadn't picked a nice suit, but their styles seemed to draw the eye, as if they themselves were models. He supposed when one had clientele of that sort, it was natural to appropriate the cultural customs. 

Tamotsu was the son of a salaryman. He never had outrageous dreams of grandeur, nor had he wanted to become some rich and powerful mogul. It was silly, but he wanted a family again. His parents died a scant few years ago, but the pain was still fresh in his heart. The nightmares made it difficult to forget. 

'Go apply here. It's little different from before. Besides, Tamotsu is the best suited for this kind of work.'

That was what Daido said before driving him to this building. Blood Moon headquarters. It was a youkai-owned business based around the modeling industry. He had managed an idol a few years ago, so he was hopeful this was just as easy.

"I heard the woman is fond of gourmet food, so you have to know how to cook meals that would put five stars on a restaurant." One of the women began the trail of gossip. 

The other woman scoffed. "Hardly, didn't you hear? She was on some sort of hunger strike because she wasn't getting paid what she felt she deserved for her work. Clearly she has rich tastes so you have to dress well and know how to avoid degenerate clients."

The only other man in the group leaned over to Tamotsu to whisper. "I heard the girl was loose, so you and I are out of luck. I was hoping to get a cutie that was easy going, but by the sounds of it, she's a brat." 

After speaking with them in the waiting room Tamotsu felt inferior, something he hadn't felt in a long time. They were well spoken people and seemed to have some idea as to what this woman was like. Honestly he didn't know anything about Youkai, let alone Vampir. He was young and the only other Youkai he knew were his adoptive family. There were some dangerous ones out there who wouldn't think twice about ripping your spine out. Vampir had that reputation.

"Mori, Tamotsu." A voice called from the front of the room. 

Rattled from his thoughts Tamotsu stood and looked up towards the secretary. 

"Ma'am?" Tamotsu could feel the eyes on his back.

What did they think though? At the time he was sure he would be rejected and sent off with well wishes. Following the secretary he would be led down a hall into the corner office which looked over the wide landscape of Tokyo. Tamotsu was ushered in by the woman and he would enter. He had found the office to be quite extravagant.

Lavish paintings hung from the walls, evocative statues lined the shelves along with sheer curtains hanging from the walls and ceiling giving the room a sort of Art Deco feel. Across the way was a table, a vision of temptation sitting behind the desk. There sat a woman dressed to the nines. From head to toe she was draped in red. Approaching, he was able to get a better look at the woman. She had youthful features and were he a man interested in such shallow beauty, he'd be smitten. She had high cheekbones, full silver hair, and eyes that glittered like rubies. Her body was a work of art with a refined figure and a curvaceous form that many earthly men craved. 

"It's good to meet you Mori. I'm Sahar Helel's second wife, Lilitu Helel."

Something about the way she spoke put Tamotsu on guard. She had a gentle tone, almost motherly, but it was similar to the tone of voice those girls in highschool used when they were used to getting everything they wanted. Girls who felt they could change the will of Nature itself at a mere roll of their shoulder.

"Your resume was -- insightful. Of the many skilled people to have applied, you appear to have just what we're looking for, but I must warn you that this job will be difficult."

Tamotsu was careful to listen to her words. It wasn't surprising as he's heard models could be difficult on account of tight schedules and other mundane stressors. He didn't think their job was very hard. Stand in front of a camera all day, follow orders, get fed. It was ignorance. He'd learn better soon enough.

 ~**********~ 

It wasn't until he worked with Illyana for about a week did he realize how wrong he was and what a load of horse shit her mother spoke. She called Illyana selfish. They asserted that Lily was lazy and tended to do as she pleased. He was warned the young woman was willful, demanding, nosy. But she was none of those things. Lily was curious, clever, and easily excited. She was not picky about her food, but liked sweets a little too much. She was nothing but sunshine. She had ways of brightening his darkest days. And, up until he met her, his life had been void.

She was that fragment of hope that he wanted to keep locked away in Pandora's Box. She was his hope. Hope that maybe the world wasn't so selfish and evil. It began with her mother. She had tried to influence his thinking with her words. That woman had run Lily to a dead end. He had decided he would protect her but who would protect him? 

Illyana's words were dangerous. 

Why did she want to sit next to him like this? Look at his face? It made him feel strange. It almost felt like anger, but different. He wanted to grab her, squeeze, and never let go. Disgusting. Was he becoming a degenerate? Why would he want to hurt her? Was he perhaps afraid she'd leave? 

Illyana had noticed Tamotsu was tense for a while now. She was worried that Silvia's call flustered him, the two having an antagonistic relationship. She didn't want her family to drive him away because they were so -- damned demanding!!

"Momo I--"

"Lily!" He interrupted. 

The woman jumped a bit, having not expected the suddenness of his reaction. With her hands on her chest, trying to calm her racing heart, she kept her attention on the man across from her. 

He felt saliva gathering. Swallowing hard he would shake his head, sorting his thoughts. Even though he had convinced himself everything was fine. Even though Illyana had assured him of the same: he couldn't ignore that trickle of doubt in the depths of his heart. It was the strongest memory in his soul. 

He could be abandoned again. 

"Lily..." His voice was soft. "She wouldn’t leave me, right? I've done good, worked hard. She isn't like that. I told everyone she was a good girl."

Illyana turned her head away and giggled. Her response puzzled the manager. Wiping a tear from the edge of her eye she shook her head. 

"What is it?" He'd sigh. 

Illyana exhaled softly. "It's just we're worried about the same thing. I'm terribly worried you won't want to work with me if it gets too complicated. Momo... I'd never ever turn my back on you." She'd be devastated. "You have to promise, no matter what my family says or does Momo... don’t believe them, okay? Believe in me."

Tamotsu smirked, shrugging a bit. "I'll always believe in you." He swore. 

Afterwards, the two felt satisfied. It meant they would have to work harder so these people didn't keep looking down on them. Tamotsu knew he would have to meet that man tomorrow. He had no choice, since things seemed to be going this way.