The Light of my Life

Tamotsu was starting to feel the heat, or at least strangely at unease. He usually felt uncomfortable in a crowd so he often ignored it. Maybe it was the natural result of some type of introvertism, or the result of regularly seeing the self-destructive nature of man and youkai alike. But it only happened whenever he found himself in a crowd that the urge to run and hide struck him deepest. Even how he wanted to do nothing more than bury his head in the sand. While every alarm bell in his head told him to do so, there was just one that seemed to say: 'wait'. 

Sitting beside Illyana was exciting. The way she tore down every trace of these menaces' interfering egos tickled him and fed his deep seeded sadism, usually kept in check by benign arguments with his grandfather about the old man's shit waifus. She tore down the very foundations they had built in order to raise themselves to the false level of kami. None knew better than Tamotsu of the dark machinations they played with in order to feed off the worship Illyana rightfully earned as their meticulously shapened idol. 

Despite any of this, he couldn't just take credit for her achievements. She did this all without any of his help. She stood up for herself and it made his heart race with such pride that it hurt. No matter how much he tried he couldn't push the feeling down. Sitting beside her as their meals were dutifully laid before them by staff was a refreshing experience, almost as if this was special.

But it didn't make any sense.

For four years he had sat at her side. Be it preparing for a show or settling down to a meal. He has come to understand her wants and needs by the slightest shift in the tone of her voice. A simple glance often let him know her thoughts and concerns before she ever needed to speak them. He understood Illyana in a way he didn't know anyone else. Well, that was at least how he had wished to feel, but he knew there was another he could say he knew even without words.

Tamotsu's eyes slowly turned to his left, where Daido sat across from Illyana, who had settled herself between them.

Daido was like a brother to him so of course he couldn't guiltlessly claim to know no other better. They didn't need to speak to know what it was the other needed and Daido could see through Tamotsu's social persona that permeated his work-home life like a parasite. Daido knew the dark, intrusive thoughts that meddled with the man's fragile moods. But Tamotsu never needed to tell others how close they were. It was visible in the way they spoke to one another, or how little they needed to. It was irrefutable with how their gazes held like distant lovers who reached out with a simple glance full of the purest emotion. It was a relationship Tamotsu was thankful for and honored. Deep down though, even with the security of such an unbreakable connection, Tamotsu always wanted something more. 

Illyana sat at his left side, enjoying her meal. Glancing at Tamotsu who sat to her right, she would find herself impressed by his posture. His back was straight and his left hand lay beside his bowl while his right hand skillfully manipulated his fork with practiced experience. This dish that was delivered to him was a dish quite popular in French cuisine restaurants in his hometown. It was a plate of venison which had been slow roasted in butter, served with some type of berry sauce. It had been served with a side of tapenade of butterbur, a wild mountain vegetable found in Japan. 

His expression while eating caused Illyana's heart to flutter as he looked satisfied with the order Daido had gotten for him. But in the same instance the thought caused her mood to shrivel ever so slightly. He had said earlier he had picked something Tamotsu would appreciate, and if the soft smile painting her manager's features was anything to go by, he was more than delighted. 

Tamotsu was oblivious to Lily's thoughts, using his food to distract himself from the creeping feelings that have been digging their way into his heart for the past few days. More and more he's found himself unable to resolve the foreign emotions he was facing, seemingly, on a regular basis. If it wasn't anger, nor was it sadness... He couldn't recognize it to be distress nor was it the ever elusive sensation of joy that he usually felt when elbow deep in his private hobbies.

If none of those, then what?

"Hrk." The man had been so deep in his thoughts the intrusion of a wholly different sensation caused him to nearly choke on his bite of food. "L-Lily?" He would manage to cough out her name.

Why her?

Beneath the table the woman's small hand had come to rest over his. The feather light touch was warm, beckoning, so all he could do was dumbly respond, the whole of his attention turning from his meal to the woman he took care of. He often put her needs above his own, quite thankful he needed and wanted little. If seeing her smile was asking too much, he supposed he would need to declare his guilt wholeheartedly. He felt her fingers wrap around his hand, locking his gaze with her own.

"Momo, what is Hayashi to you?" She would ask in a clear voice, clearly disregarding the etiquette expected of the situation. 

Tamotsu's face twisted with a hint of confusion at her question. "What do you mean, Illyana?"

Beneath the table, away from the prying eyes of others, the young Vampir hybrid had laid her hand atop his, but she would then turn it so she was palm to palm with him, claiming her place without a doubt. 

"Well," She began. "You seem so close. You act almost like lovers," She put her free hand to her mouth as if hiding a terrible mistake. "Unless I'm misreading things..."

The current company turned their eyes to the pair, the problematic question clearly past a visible line drawn in the sand by Daido's own actions. Yet the only one who wasn't aware of that drawn border was Tamotsu himself.

"What!? No, no!" Tamotsu quickly excused. "He's, hah, my childhood friend and being older he can be a bit overbearing like a mother hen." Why did it bother him that she thought otherwise?

It certainly bothered Daido that those words escaped Tamotsu's mouth. Daido had many feelings for Tamotsu, whom he grew up with.

"Just your childhood friend hmm?" Daido spoke up, seeming amused, but a flicker of hurt drifted past his dark eyes. "And here I thought we were closer." He mused, expression darkening a bit before glancing to Illyana. 

Tamotsu narrowed his eyes, brows knotting at the wayward expression his blood brother tossed in Lily's direction. The two men came eye to eye, strongly measuring the other's response. Daido felt the seething annoyance bubbling beneath the surface. To say the least it seemed Tamotsu was unnaturally protective of this woman.

"Don't be so offended." The executive raised his hand to brush it off. "I must say Illyana-san is quite sharp. While Tamotsu is my childhood friend I could say I've grown exceptionally attached to him. I love him in a way perhaps a brother shouldn't. But he's so cold to me~" the man mused, only to receive a snort from the party in question. 

"Who has time for such things when there's work to be done?" Came Tamotsu's response. 

"Who indeed?" Daido moved to rest his chin on the back of one of his hands, elbow coming to rest on the table. "What do you think Illyana-san? Should a man be able to balance business and pleasure?" Daido was clearly trying to goad her into a response in order to test her resolve.

Daido dealt with many sorts of people in his line of work. Often he would see people willing to go to great lengths for power and he was no different. Being able to take hold of someone like Tamotsu was unquestionably a power move, the man was a hard worker and cunning. He was tireless when reaching for his goals. He was sure had he not faced hardships in his youth he would have achieved greatness and climbed to the top of his company.

But if Tamotsu had fallen in love with him he could have surely taken hold of their sector in one fell swoop. 

Illyana raised her head proudly as she pulled a forkful of food in her mouth. "I think a person, man or woman, can act and think for themselves." Something she should have done long ago. "In their personal struggles I believe they can achieve anything they dream of. Momo taught me that, and because of that I am growing closer to achieving my dream."

But it wasn't too late to act and take what she wanted. She would stake her claim on Tamotsu and there would be nothing anyone would be able to do to stop her. She would reach her dream and her first love. She deserved to be happy and be a little selfish after everything she had suffered. 

Tamotsu felt his chest tighten against the force of her declaration. It would finally raise the question that had sunk deep into his psyche. 

Did Illyana trust him so fully?