The Little Sister in the Devastating Novel Wants to Live

Episode 4

“Igon!”

A suppressed scream broke out, as if I had really been stabbed.

I listed my upper body and sat on bed, still panting.

I know it’s a dream.

But I just couldn’t calm down.

Stupid and weak.

I was furious with myself for not getting used to it even though it was something I went through every night.

Please…

Please just stop.

Grabbing my chest, I got up staggering, and crawled to the window where the moonlight fell.

I slammed my head against the window and prayed that all my senses would come back to reality.

“Save me… Save me…”

I muttered as if I were reciting a spell.

It was around that time that a dull pain rose from my forehead that I had hit against the window frame.

The door burst open and Igon came inside.

At a faster pace than usual, I looked up at Igon with blank eyes.

“Igon, Igon…”

I raised my arms and called Igon.

What was Igon’s face like when he saw me sitting on the floor crying in such a mess?

I didn’t even have time to look properly.

Igon quickly ran to me and hugged me.

I grabbed his arm and hugged him.

I was relieved by the warmth of the body that hugged me tightly without a chance to breathe.

Waves of emotion surged inside me.

“Igon… Igon…”

I buried my head in the soft skin that connects his shoulders and neck and inhaled.

I cried while calling the name, and hung my head in exhaustion.

Igon, who couldn’t calm me down and went into turmoil, just silently accepted me.

He swept my back, pressed me against his body, and left a small kiss along the way the tears flowed.

“I want to live…”

Crying, I said.

At that moment, the hand that was stroking my back stopped.

He seemed surprised by my unexpected words.

“Igon, I want to live…”

This was the first time I’ve expressed that wish.

For the first time I revealed the nightmares that plagued me to Igon, who’d been comforting me through many sleepless nights.


It’s okay.

I’ll protect you.

Igon said such words.

Listening to his comfort, I thought.

Could this be a foreshadowing of the novel?

Perhaps such anger was caused by the failure to protect his sister, to whom he’d said, ‘I’ll protect you.’

If so, what should I say to him here now?

Oh. I’ve had all sorts of thoughts about it.

“I will kill them for you.”

My heart trembled at the gloomy voice.

Even though it was supposed to be comforting words for me, it felt that way.

I raised my head and met Igon’s eyes.

A fit of sharp and quiet anger flickered in his eyes.

“Igon…”

When I called his name again, he lowered his forehead down and touched mine.

As if he is suffering from a terrible memory instead.

Our foreheads touched and the tips of our noses grazed.

We breathed together at a distance that was barely a finger away.

Breath and breath were intertwined.

As if in the same despair, I swam in the bluish light of dawn.

An unknown beating sound rang in my ears.

It was quiet and noisy at the same time.

I couldn’t bear to break the current silence with a sound, so I repeated his name in my mind.

***

It was the sixteenth and final day with the rain drizzling down.

So not ‘me’, but Evelyn’s.

His Excellency the Duke has passed away.

In the end.

That’s how it happened.

Entered the coffin and buried it in the ground.

His Majesty the Emperor and his Majesty the Empress, the crown prince and princess, the generals, marquises, counts, viscounts, barons… countless nobles whose names I can’t quite remember.

It was an amazing funeral, lined with people from the Empire.

As an adopted daughter, I was exhausted from crying so much, and Igon, the biological son, was calm.

It was an important occasion where I was meeting other nobles for the first time, so I had to avoid looking foolish, but it wasn’t easy to do so.

The number of people gathered was splendid, but like most people, they followed the natural process and procedures.

Wearing a black veil, and listening to the priest pray, I thought of my adoptive father.

Since we didn’t have any memories of being alone together, even idle words were not comforting between us.

But even so, I loved him more than the Duchess.

He was the one who separated me from the Duchess, and he was the one who accepted me without much opposition when Igon asked me to join him.

In fact, more than anything else, the reassurance of its existence touched me.

He had a large body, was a man of few words, and no expression on his face.

The feeling of intimidation that came out of it was great.

At times, it made him feel like an old tree rather than a person.

As long as he was alive, my family was moderate, and my death felt more distant with him still around.

So the despair I feel now from the death of the Duke is not much different from how I would feel about my own death.

The breath that is blocked from the pit does not come up.

I lowered my head, feeling like I was choking.

“Are you okay?”

Igon came to my side and whispered.

When I couldn’t answer, Igon raised his hand and called for the maid, as if he knew it was strange.

As I was leaning on the maid, I saw someone’s instep.

“…Cro, crown, Crown Prince…, Your Highness…”

The voice of the maid supporting me revealed the identity of the man who stood in my way.

“It looks like the princess is in shock.”

His calm voice didn’t seem to be sarcastic, but it didn’t matter if it was meant to be sarcastic.

“I’m sorry to show such an appearance, your highness…”

I couldn’t think of the right words, so I said hello and moved on.

It wasn’t until after I did that I wondered if it was an overly stiff greeting.

“The Duke must have gone to a good place.”

Is this supposed to be a comfort?

Without saying anything, I just shook my head lightly.

I’m sure you’ll forgive me for this.

“May you be at peace.”

As I passed by the prince, I could smell the faint scent of cedar.

The smell was so refreshing that I almost turned my head back.

As soon as the funeral was over, Igon took over the title of Duke, the head of the family, and the leader of the 2nd Knights of the Empire.

The succession ceremony was far too modest and quiet compared to the titles he took on.

To the elders of the family who were dissatisfied, Ion made an excuse, saying, ‘It’s not right to make a fuss when the ground where he buried his father hasn’t been hardened.’

That was a pretty good excuse.

Igon, who doesn’t like fuss, probably wouldn’t have prepared a banquet even if the Duke was alive.

Not even in the world of past lives, but following filial piety towards parents in this world was already a ridiculous thing.

Since becoming the Duke, he has been much busier than before, and I don’t remember seeing him during daylight hours lately.

His absence was a relief to me.

When I faced him with a sane mind, I became nervous.

It was strangely scary and difficult.

“The empress sent an invitation.”

I wondered why he called me to the office, but he brought up unexpected news.

It was no big deal for Her Majesty to send an invitation to the duke’s residence.

Igon used to receive invitations from people such as His Majesty the Emperor, Her Majesty the Empress, and His Highness the Crown Prince.

So what does the invitation have to do with me?

“It’s for you.”

I blinked to process what the hell I had been just told.

“What do you mean…? Me?”

Seemingly amused by my infatuated expression, Igon chuckled and swept his hair back with a smile.

His fine hair swayed and moved softly at his touch.

Even in the midst of this, on the other hand, I thought that I wanted to touch the pale blonde hair that glistened in the sunlight.

“When it’s just the two of us you don’t have to be formal. Talk like before.”

“You’ve become His Excellency the Duke, so how dare I…”

“Eve.”

Igon, who got up from his seat, came closer.

Surprised by the momentum, I took a step back and grabbed the hem of my skirt.

A sweet scent came from Igon bending down in front of me.

It is a fragrance that can only be smelled in a flower garden.

Like lavender, for example…

“Are you doing this on purpose? Huh? Eve?”

Igon lowered his head and pressed his face closer.

I rolled my eyes here and there to avoid the relentless pursuit.

“Why pretend not to know? You called my name so eagerly last night.”

“Igon!”

Even though I knew there was no one around, I was scared and looked around the room.

It was a statement that would have been misunderstood if anyone else had heard it.

I glanced at Igon as if reprimanding him, but I was surprised by the languid and cold eyes I met and my body stiffened.

Perhaps my actions looked ridiculous because Igon let out a clear laugh, ‘Hahaha.’

A bell-like laugh was heard that resonated in the hearts of the listeners.

Igon gently grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him.

The force of the sudden pull caused the my unsupported body to collapse forward.

Igon, who embraced me, held my legs with one arm and my waist with the other, and placed his head on my shoulder.

Somehow it reminded me of a big dog.

I shrugged my shoulders as his hair tickled the sensitive area.

“Eve, Eve. My lovely Princess.”

Igon raised his head.

His eyes curled up, and his red lips drew an arc.

I opened my mouth, looking at the face without a shadow, wondering if a person could smile that brightly.

Beautiful.

When I saw it so beautiful, I raised my hand and gently brushed Igon’s hair.

Igon whispered as he hugged me like a child hugging his doll tightly.

“I hope no one pays attention to you. I want to gouge out the eyes of everyone who sees you.”

It was truly a speech worthy of the protagonist of a dark romance novel.

I had known about Igon’s cruel personality before, so these words did not surprise me.

Rather, I thought I knew why he was saying this, so I let out a sigh.

“I don’t have the strength to refuse Her Majesty’s invitation.”

“Tell her you’re sick.”

“You know what an excuse is, right? It’s a process I have to go through anyway.”

IIgon made a sad face.

Since I didn’t risk my life in social activities, I probably won’t have a big disadvantage coming back to me, even if I act according to Igon’s words.

My natural personality is not sociable, and I hate meeting people, so I would have done as Igon said.

But I had a plan.

Let’s make friends with anyone, anyone with power in the imperial family, and prevent my death.

I had such a grand plan in my mind.