The Mad Rat’s Lab

The thunderous roar is getting closer, which means there isn’t a lot of time until the swarm reaches this place.

What do I do? Should I run away? They must have prepared something that can hurt me quite a lot, and I don’t like it…

Hmm… you know what? Screw it! I’m going to make this sharkman pay for the crime of imitating my laughing pose.

And then run if it turns dangerous.

What do rats do? They scurry away when danger comes. And I’m going to do the same! Pride? What’s that, is it edible?

“Fufufu! Do you think I’ll be afraid of your puny creations!? I fear nothing! …except for my own creations, but they are my own problem and have nothing to do with this! Hahaha!”

I make another ‘maniacal-laughing-pose’ - copyrighted, by the way - to intimidate the poor fool.

“I know your kind like to swim. Let’s see how you like to swim… in an arrow rain! Hahaha! Archers, attack!”

As I said before, I’m currently standing on an elevated platform that oversees the whole room. As the rules say, it’s connected to the rest of the dungeon, so, technically, enemies can come and attack me in melee. But the path to get here doesn’t connect to the room below… unless that sharkman or the few remaining mobs have ranged attacks, I’m safe here. And he’s wielding a harpoon, so I don’t think so.

From several other elevated platforms, a bunch of skeletons appear and start to shoot arrows at the enemies. There are quite a lot of them, so it truly looks like an arrow rain.

If only they could deal more damage… skeletons kind of suck. They’re versatile and can do anything decently well, but they’re only a little more expensive than basic units and, like most basic units, they suck. Those kinds of units are only good when mixed with something else to create one of my units, due to the double innate skills. But it’s not as if I could use a skeleton for one of my units, after all, they are undead, and don’t count as ‘living units’.

Sometimes I forget how annoying my faction is. But then, I think ‘How cool it could be if I could use that unit…’ and remember how cumbersome everything is. And everything goes in a downward spiral for a while…

But not now! I must focus on the match!

The first volley strikes the fanatic and his minions and their HP bars appear, signifying they took some damage. One unlucky mob took a decent amount of damage, but the rest, especially the enemy champion, took very little damage.

Hah… why am I getting disappointed? I already knew this would be the result, so I shouldn’t be. Don’t misunderstand, it’s not like I’m complaining, after all, this little damage is a lot better compared to what I could achieve with any of my units.

The archers fire a second and third volley. I too take this chance to fire a few Cold Blasts against the enemy champion.

He takes cover on one edge of the room but doesn’t leave. A normal person would have left the room by now, to avoid taking more damage, but we’re talking about deranged people here... I’m sure he’s staying to see me ‘despair’ when the swarm gets here.

He’s going to be disappointed because there’s no way I’m going to feel that despair. There can only be two possible outcomes: either Chain Lightning works and I defeat the swarm very easily, or it doesn’t and I run away like the rat I am.

As you can see, there’s no despair for me in any of the two.

Meanwhile, the swarm gets closer. I can now see the big cloud, about to cross the portal, though I can’t see how the creatures look yet.

“Why are you hiding!? If you hide like this, you’re going to miss how I defeat your puny creations! Hahaha!”

I taunt him one last time before I refocus on the swarm.

They’ve already crossed the portal and are coming in my direction. I observe them as I prepare Chain Lightning, to cast it as soon as they get close enough.

The swarm moves through the room exactly the same as a school of fish, avoiding obstacles like stalactites and rocky protrusions. Oh, yeah, they fly. Well, to be precise, they hover; but in practice, it’s the same.

They don’t only move like fish but they’re actually fish. Their pointy teeth and exaggerated mouths reveal they are piranhas, but normal piranhas don’t hover in the air, nor do they release electric sparks. Those electric sparks are what make the cracking sound, the sum of them all adding to a thunderous roar as if a dragon was coming for me. An electric dragon made out of smaller flying piranhas that continuously release electricity.

If there was an award for how amazing a monster - or group of monsters - looks, I would certainly consider this swarm. But looks aren’t everything! Let’s test their performance!

“Chain Lightning!”

The lightning leaves my hand and travels to the first piranha in the school, blasting it and then jumping to the closest ones. Only the first four are dealt enough damage to stun them, and not even the Shared Voltage skill helps with dealing extra damage.

It’s as if… as if they absorbed the lightning damage somehow…

Wait! A unit that releases electric sparks, and also absorbs lighting… I know of one such unit! It is… it is… It’s the same as my Static Lambs! They not only copied my laughing pose but also my unit’s build!

This means they can hover because of the Electric Spark elemental… I didn’t want to create flying sheep, just the normal electric-resistant and electric-generator sheep, so I took out the flying. But Electric Sparks, as most ‘Spark’ units - the critters from the Primordials faction, or elemental faction, if you prefer - can hover in the air.

Why do I always remember crucial things after the fact? Or when it’s already too late!? I wasted 200 MP with a useless attack…

It’s time to go with plan B, also called: Let’s get the heck out of here!

“Archers fall back!” I shout as I turn around and start running. “I want to make this clear, ok!? We’re not running away, this is a strategic retreat!”

I’m fast enough to outrun most units thanks to the Wererat speed stat, I’m sure there won’t be any trouble getting rid of this swarm.

At the same time I disappear from his sight, the sharkman clicks his tongue.

“*Tsk!* He’s smarter than he looks! But he’s not going anywhere! Go and chase him! Hahaha!”

The unrelenting Spark Swarm follows after Andreu’s steps. Maybe they aren’t as fast as him, but they can fly… it isn’t clear if he’ll manage to run away or not.

Then, after another Andreu-patented-maniacal-laughing, he awkwardly scratches his head.

“Now what should I do? Getting split wasn’t part of the plan…”

 

 

“Agh… he got us good this time! I didn’t expect them to have this kind of trap prepared… But I don’t regret it! Our introduction was PERFECT! Hahaha!”

The Leader looks around after standing up. Every single fanatic and support mob has taken a decent amount of damage from the fall, though the champions are doing a lot better because they have the highest stats.

There’s even an unlucky mob that was squashed by a rock falling on top of it. It’s not like it’s dead, but it won’t be able to move until the rock has been removed.

“Yes… YES! This is it! I shudder in excitement! We got the privilege to experience His machinations and receive His look of contempt! Fufufu! Hahaha…”

“Hey, bro. What do we do now? Splitting wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Don’t interrupt my laughter! This is the sacred laughing pose, invented by Him and shared with our lowly selves! It’s heresy to interrupt somebody in the middle of it!”

“...huh, ok… I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine… just don’t do it again, understood!?”

After organizing everyone and assessing the situation, the Leader looks around another time. It’s a well-known scenery because it looks exactly the same as The Mad Rat’s Lab tunnel area, except there are no mushrooms anywhere.

“Let’s go! Onward to the unknown! Fufufu! Hahaha!”

“But bro, shouldn’t we go and defend our dungeon too? Otherwise, we might lose the match…”

“Nononono! Remember the reason we’re here! We aren’t here to win this tournament, but to show our beliefs to the world! To receive despair directly from Him! And to let Him enjoy the despair produced by our actions! Hahaha! Because all shall despair! Even Him!”

“All shall despair!”

Echo the two other players.

The Leader nods, happy that the others understand their great purpose.

“But then… why did we put traps and other stuff in our dungeon? I don’t understand…”

“Haaah… sometimes I think I’m surrounded by idiots…” The Leader mutters to himself before turning around to look at his stupid follower, the one with a human appearance. “Of course, it’s to win us time, so that we can enjoy ourselves! It would be a shame to waste this opportunity simply because the other unrelated players destroy our core!”

He furrows his brows, having to explain something so obvious yet another time.

In contrast, the human fanatic has a blank stare, trying to comprehend the Leader’s words. It’s as if what the Leader said made no sense at all to him, but he’s still trying to find some kind of secret meaning to his words.

This doesn’t escape the Leader’s sight, but he decides to ignore it. There’s a reason why this fool is on their team, and he’s already anticipating the moment when he can show his skills.

Oh, and as you might expect, the ‘unrelated players’ are Ricard, Laura, and Clara.

“Then, let’s move on. We must find Mad Rat as soon as possible! Until now, only we had the privilege to enjoy His plans. We must show Him ours too! Hahaha!”

They start to move forward. As usual, the third player, the one who was silent most of the time, starts to make a map to avoid getting lost: a basic procedure to invade The Mad Rat’s Lab.

Usually, they wouldn’t do something like this because it’s more enjoyable to get lost and encounter all the dangers; which any normal crazy fanatic obviously likes.

But today, they plan on fighting Mad Rat the best they can to let him enjoy despair too. It’s their purpose as devout followers. The Leader considers this a necessary breach of protocol. A necessary but absolutely unforgivable heresy… they’ll have to repent for their actions in the future.

“Bro… what about the Spark Swarm? We won’t be able to see it from here.”

“I hope he enjoys it as much as possible! Hahaha!” The Leader pauses for a moment before continuing. “Though it’s a shame we can’t see it…” 

 

 

“Aaaaaaaaah! Hehehe! I’m flyiiiiiiing! Aaaaaaaah!”

“Baldy, stop moving so erratically! It’s hard to hit you like this!”

“If you can do it better than me, why don’t we switch positions!?”

“Hmm… no thanks, I’m fine like this.”

A tornado advances incredibly fast through the tunnel. From above, a continuous stream of Plump Drops falls from the holes in the ceiling, falling on the tornado and getting slashed to bits as soon as they get close enough.

“Ahahaha! I’m unstoppable! Look at this corpse rain! This is so amazing!”

“No, you aren’t. And don’t forget this is my idea, ok!? Ugh…! And I told you to run straight!”

“I can’t! I can’t control this properly!”

“Hehehe! We must do this again! It’s better than a rollercoaster!”

Running as fast as he can, Ricard advances through the dungeon killing everything on his path thanks to the Whirlwind skill, its area wide enough to hit all the dropping enemies before they can deal damage.

“Hey, Baldy! Don’t try to get rid of me! Did you think I wouldn't notice!?”

“Come on, it’s disgusting! Also, why are you grabbing me with so much strength!?”

“Shut up! I don’t want to be left behind! It was Lily’s idea and you accepted it, so now, let me enjoy the ride! Hehehe!”

Inside the tornado, Ricard’s silhouette can be recognized with some effort. Right behind him, there’s Clara’s champion grabbing him with her tentacles. For some weird game logic, - maybe to avoid players’ sickness - the champion doesn’t spin around while using the Whirlwind skill; so she can grab him and allow herself to be dragged away without spinning around.

“Hehehe! I’m flying!”

He’s running so fast that Clara’s champion doesn’t touch the ground. It resembles those cartoons where a giant dog drags the human holding the leash and making him fly. Except that the ‘monster’ is the one being dragged away this time.

“Let me drain you a little, Ricard!”

From time to time, green light can be seen coursing through her tentacles, draining Ricard’s HP with her Draining Touch skill.

“Ugh…”

Ricard shudders at the image of a tentacle monster draining him dry. This isn’t supposed to happen, but he can’t stop himself from imagining it.

This might look stupid, but it’s an absolutely needed part of the plan. To avoid the falling Plump Drops, Clara must be inside Ricard’s Whirlwind area. But then she takes damage every second from Ricard’s skill. The only way to survive is to drain his HP continuously.

*Swish! Plash!*

Laura’s whip hits Ricard and she manages to recover some of the lost HP and SP.

“Finally I could hit you! I told you to run straight!”

“And I told you I can’t!”

Following right behind Ricard and the flying Clara, Laura is running as fast as she can, continuously swinging her whip at Ricard, and using the Blink skill when falling behind.

Similar to Clara, she can only survive the Plump Drops by staying inside his Whirlwind skill area, so she too needs some way to recover HP. Hitting Ricard with her whip is the easiest and most effective way… as long as he doesn’t turn around unpredictably.

In turn, Ricard drains HP every time he deals damage with his Essence Drain innate skill. He gets his HP back every time he damages Laura or Clara, who’re inside his Whirlwind all the time, as well as every time a Plump Drop falls from the ceiling.

Ironically, this situation can only be maintained for as long as there are Plump Drops falling from above. But it’s also the only reason they need to do this. As soon as the enemies stop falling, they can stop.

“Hey, Laura, I’m starting to get low on MP!”

“Don’t look here! Just run! Let’s see if we can reach the end of this damned area first!”

“...ok.”

“Hehehe, Baldy! You’re so weak!”

“I don’t want to hear this from you who’s doing nothing but draining me!”

“Haah!? Do you want me to ‘accidentally’ kill you!?”

“Stop fighting!”

Before the situation worsens, Laura is forced to intervene between the two.

‘How does Andreu manage to organize the team and prevent this pair from doing stupid things most of the time? This is exhausting me!’ Thinks Laura.

*Swish! Swish! Plash!*

“Why can’t you run straight!? How can you take so much to get used to this!?”

“Aaaaaaaaaaah! Hehehe! Yeeeeeeeeeey!”

“Ugh… I’m getting dizzy… When is this going to end… somebody, just kill me already…!”

A tornado racing through the tunnels, sometimes moving straight, and sometimes taking weird turns. Grabbing the barely visible player in its center, and flying because of how fast it’s moving, there’s a horrific monstrosity, shouting all the time; and right behind, a woman is attacking the pale human with bright shining blue eyes, the one responsible for the hurricane of blades, with a whip… Both the woman and monstrosity continuously suffering from the ‘dangerous winds’.

As if the scene wasn’t ridiculous enough as it is, there’s a rain of weird creatures, tiny mice with elephant trunks, dying miserably when they enter in contact with the rushing tornado.

Like this, the whirlwind express continues to advance, obliterating everything in its path. Using their victim’s blood, as well as their own blood, as fuel to continue moving forward.

Who knows how long are they going to last?

 

The Dungeon Master’s Arena torment was always a source of inspiration for players. A source of inspiration to create memes. But the amount created in this tournament was an authentic flood compared to the previous iterations…

I’m sure you know why.