45 – MOOD FOR LOVE (7)

“Coke! Coke! uh… … !”

“Are you okay?”

Penuel held out a handkerchief to me. I took the towel carefully, keeping her outstretched fingers out of touch. Then, I lost myself in thought, wiping my lips and top. When Millet first came to Elviron, what did he talk about?

He said clearly, ‘Let’s meet mom and dad.’ It was. Punuel was obviously a beautiful elf, but she was not a widow. The moment I touch a woman with a husband, I am not a consolation expert, but an ordinary prostitute.

I made up my mind and looked at Benuel. She was staring at me, waiting for an answer to come out of my mouth.

“Don’t you have a husband? You shouldn’t be like this.”

“husband?”

However, Benuel asked me back with a puzzled look on my words, then tilted his head. And after thinking for a moment, he let out a strange exclamation and nodded his head.

“Ah, you heard the story from Millet. It’s been a while since I got divorced. My husband and I didn’t get along.”

Should I be happy to hear that you’re divorced? The excuse was gone, but I was embarrassed because I couldn’t bluntly refuse or accept it. I said it would be nice to live here, but that didn’t mean I wanted to live as Millet’s father.

What’s more, if I became friends with Benuel, how should I treat Millet in the future? I wanted to prevent a party that worked well together from collapsing because of love affairs. said Buel.

“I was not such a good husband. Because I didn’t try to understand Millet. Millet is… … . He’s a nice, attentive kid. I never tried to see that side of me.”

I looked at Benuel. Again, she felt a strange feeling. If other elves looked at a dry desert, she was a woman like a plain with dry reeds. Faint emotions, like stagnant water on one side, make us feel that she is a living, breathing being.

I said to Benuel.

“You are emotional. Not like an elf.”

In a way, it was a discriminatory remark towards elves, but it seemed that Punuel was not offended by these words. She looked down at me and blinked, then shut her mouth. He seemed surprised by what I said. She looked around for a moment, looked down at me again, and asked.

“Am I emotional?”

“Aren’t you thinking of your daughter a lot? I’ve only seen Millet-sama and Mother as the only elves who thought of my family.”

“…..is that so.”

Benuel laughed. The glasses were fogged from the moisture of the early morning, and Punuel naturally took them off and wiped them off. Moisture was visible through the scrubbed glasses and then disappeared, and Bunuel’s smile faded like a mirage. She came back with a grim face and told me.

“I have never understood Millet. My parents never understood me either. To the elves, children were beings who had to be trained rigorously to raise the name of the tribe if they had great talent, and if they were incompetent, they were to be educated to become one person.”

“But don’t you love your daughter like this?”

Benuel shook his head. she said.

“What do you think my dream was when I was young?”

“Aren’t you an archaeologist?”

I thought of my current job and tried to answer, but there was no way I could match the elf’s future hopes. Undeterred by my nonchalant answer, Benuel started talking again.

“I was a diplomat. A wonderful diplomat. It wasn’t my dream, but strictly speaking, it was my parents’ dream. My parents believed I had the gift of bridging elves and humans. Although I worked so hard, I never became a diplomat in the end. I just lived by my words, and soon I was swept away and became an archaeologist.”

Punuel didn’t talk about what happened next. If you think about it along with the silence that followed at the end of her words, you could see that her life had never been smooth.

“You, too, are lonely people.”

I inadvertently said so. Benuel looked at me and shook his head.

“I don’t know. Did I look lonely?”

“I am from the Empire. I grew up in the Empire and dreamed of it in the Empire. I was an Imperial person until I saw demons falling from the sky in chunks. When I came to my senses, I was living like this in the kingdom.”

Punuel laughed again at those words. If all the elves were like Bunuel, they wouldn’t have heard that they were a very interesting race. She looked at the grass for a while, laughing and then told me.

“These are the same people. We are.”

“However, we will never be able to love each other. I don’t have the confidence to embrace my colleague’s mother.”

I had to think about the next thing after having it. I didn’t want to be Millet’s father. Millet wouldn’t want that either. We had to end the journey as good friends who would go on this journey forever.

“It’s benign. I’m not saying this to anyone either.”

As he said that, Penuel rummaged through his pockets. He pulled out a cigarette from a small box and held it out to me. I shook my head and said.

“It’s not for you, is it?”

Benuel lit a cigarette and looked at me again. The smell of wet vegetables and cigarettes unique to the morning mist was mixed to create a unique atmosphere. The smoke rising from Benuel’s fingertips was like incense.

“I don’t want that kind of love to give my life for my daughter to a man I don’t know.”

Penuel silently gazed into space. The ridge was hidden by the fog, but the buildings were emitting light through the fog. As if dozens of lighthouses send signals to protect the marina.

“Was I a good mother to Millet?”

Benuel asked me while smoking again. When I thought of Millet’s bright appearance, there was only one answer I could come up with.

“I think I was a good enough mother. Because you raised me so brightly.”

“But, I wanted to be a better mother. Because my mom was never a good mother to me. As an adult, I never went home.”

He blew out his cigarette once more, and white smoke filled the haze under the eaves. The weather today looked like it was going to rain. Water was dripping on the grass that was supposed to be wet from dew.

“I wanted to be home to Millet. Millet is back, so you can feel that they are family. that… … . Human things.”

At that moment, the rain was pouring down hard. The elves who were wandering around ran into the house without saying anything first, and the guard spat out curse words and looked for a raincoat. We surrendered to the dreary dampness felt by the splashing rain and watched the village soak.

“Human things. I think it’s a very strange word. Things I’ve never properly learned in my life I crave, and I want to do for my children. is that weird? This… … . Is this a bit incomprehensible?”

Benuel looked at me again. There was a look of desperation and confusion on her face. I said.

“Everyone does. People in love are usually confused because it’s the first time. That’s why we make mistakes, and that’s why we make bad choices and fight with each other.”

Penuel’s fingertips trembled. I held her hand carefully and said.

“I can understand. If I had a child, I would do anything for that child.”

When I brushed the back of my hand, I could feel her tender skin and prominent veins. As I held onto her white fingertips and kneaded them from the tips of my fingers, before I knew it, I was pulling her wrists and kissing the back of her hand. Buñuel flicked his cigarette into the rain and told me.

“No one has ever loved me. All elves are like that. I don’t expect understanding or love.”

She took her hand out of my grasp and brushed my cheek. The fingertips that ran through my rough skin came closer to my lips. Cautiously leaning down, she made eye contact with me and said:

“To have someone understand, to talk openly. It feels like this.”

Then, carefully stretching our heads, our lips overlapped.

As I carefully pushed my tongue in, my stiff shoulders trembled and the teeth that were blocking my mouth hesitantly opened. When I breathed out with her tongue wrapped around the light cigarette scent, her eyelids trembled and the rough movement of her breath stimulated me.

“Sigh… … .”

With his face reddened and his eyes wide open, Benuel looked at me. In the morning, it was raining so hard that you couldn’t even enjoy the view outside the village. Perhaps the two of us are reflected as silhouettes having a healthy chat.

“Teach me love.”

I heard Benuel’s voice in my ears. She hugged my neck tightly and demanded of me in a sorrowful voice.

“If you can’t be Millet’s father, teach me to love enough to love Millet.”

Both Punuel and I know that those words are just an excuse.

Party members still asleep and the second floor door open.

I hugged Benuel’s head and kissed him again.

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