In the midst of this, my father questioned the people one after the other. When everyone was having a hard time, the little child came forward again without fear.

“Grand Duke, you have no right to be angry with others.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It would have been something the Grand Duke knew if you had only talked to your son once a day, or even for an hour a week. Why do you want to ask others to bear the consequences of your irresponsibility?”

She wasn’t just coming forward. The little child was scolding Father. I was scared. My hair stood upright.

“The reason you asked this wasn’t because of Kirsec, it was to rebuke me.”

Maybe it was not just my misunderstanding, Father said so too. My heart was pounding. I looked carefully at Father’s face. The little child put aside the accident and smiled brightly. I thought Father would scold the little child for behaving badly. So, I got more nervous.

But the corners of Father’s lips rose more clearly than before.

“Hoo, really.”

And he laughed out loud. The sound of laughter filled with joy made my heart flutter. Emotions come up again. Why….. Because he wasn’t like that with me… I shuddered.

After that, the little child seems to continue to have a conversation with Father, but I couldn’t hear it clearly. I couldn’t understand why Father showed the little child an expression I had never seen before.

I wanted to cry, but the corner of Father’s lips, which rose to one side, was filled with joy. His conversation with the little child seemed to be really fun, so I got even more embarrassed.

“And, Grand Duke, there is something more frightening and cruel than violence to a child who has yet to fully mature.”

“What is it?”

“It’s indifference.”

Why? All the stories sounded blurry, but the little child’s words were really clear. Father’s behavior towards me up until now was ‘indifference’. When that fact was recognized, it struck me cruelly. It is true that I was neglected with indifference. I was being subjected to something worse than violence by Father.

“Were my actions worse than violence?”

The little child was right. In fact, my heart ached more from Father’s sharp gaze than the cheek that the little child slapped. Unbeknownst to me, I was being hurt by Father every day. In front of Father, I always looked down and felt embarrassed. Thinking about it, the situation seemed different.

At first, the little child’s behavior, striking a conversation with Father came as a shock. Then I started to hate the little child who naturally did what I couldn’t.

But when I thought about it, there was nothing good for the little child to say such bitter things to Father. If there is one reason, it was for my sake that the little child boldly shouted that Father was wrong.

Why was she avoiding me? Didn’t she hate me? Why? Confused, I looked at the little child, and she had a confident look, as if I had to trust her. And she spoke to my father even more proudly.

“What I did is an act of care and affection that is far better than indifference.”

Did she put her care and affection into it? Was the little child confessing that she’s interested in me now? That proudly? Shame came suddenly to me at the little child’s words. The little child who glanced back at me seemed to know no shame. Because the little child was so proud, I felt even more embarrassed, and my face went hot.

“I think I did more than the Grand Duke. I have the passion to express myself.”

The little child has no shame! No matter how interested she was, to speak boldly in front of adults!

“You’re exaggerating one expression of affection aggressively.”

“Again, I don’t think I did well. I admit my mistake. But it’s a much better way to express it than indifference.”

As if Father was making fun of her, he mentioned ‘affection’ again, and each time, the little child showed off her affection. The little child’s public confession brought a different kind of smile to Father’s face. Everyone smiled, making me even more embarrassed.

Thinking back now, I was young and foolish at the time, and I was engulfed in loneliness without even realizing it. When my arrogant heart that pretended to be okay was broken, I could only hear the words ‘care’ and ‘affection’ that the little child shouted passionately in my ears.

I was hungry for affection from others, and I wanted it so strongly. The little child’s words were a handful of rain that had come down at that time. Those words quickly permeated into my heart, which had been dry and dry like a desert. Like a drop of water given to the thirsty, like a piece of bread given to the hungry.

I fell in love with her words naturally, and I had no choice but to cling to her words more fervently than ever.

After talking for a moment, Father ordered the children to go out. The little child and I had to get out of the office.

I received a public confession, but I was at a loss as to what to do. I was embarrassed that I received a confession, but I felt no shame because the person who confessed was a child. Anyway, I had to give an answer to the confession. I called the little child in a nervous voice.

“Hey.”

Likewise, I could feel the tension in the little child’s eyes who was holding her breath and looking at me. For some reason, the corners of her lips were trying to rise.

I don’t like the little child as much as the little child likes me, but I also think she’s a bit cute. I felt sorry for the little child who was nervous, waiting for an answer.

“If you hit me in the future, I will allow you. If you want to hit me, you can hit me.”

When I said that, I felt so ashamed. I went crazy. Not knowing whether to accept my confession or not, the little child looked dazed. She must be so happy she doesn’t know what to do. My face felt hot for no reason and I couldn’t even say my greetings, so I quickly walked into the room, as if I was running away.

After closing the bedroom door and putting my head on the bed, I was able to release the breath I had been holding back. I just felt like screaming. I liked it so much that my mouth went up. After celebrating it for a while, my trembling heart calmed down.

By the way, I was worried about the little child showing her affection in a strange way. Slap on the cheek was an absurd way to express yourself. Anyway, I guess I could give it a try. I hate getting hurt, but for the sake of the child I like, I could bear it.

Because I’m all grown up.

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