The Reason I Keep Avoiding My Childhood Friend

“I usually just talked about what happened that day. In today’s case, I came here and had tea time. I ate delicious meringue cookies with rosemary tea. Such a common story.”

“You’re only talking about that?”

There was disbelief in the slightly vain question. I sighed. How bleak was it that such an ordinary story was awkward? There’s still a long way to go.

“It’s a conversation between a father and a daughter. It doesn’t have to be special.”

“Really?”

With a shaky reply, Kirsec shrank again like a deflated balloon. His body flickered, quickly exhausted, like it would be blown away by the wind. He reacted so differently that it was hard to believe that he was the same person as that nervous kid before.

“Are you worried about spending time with the Grand Duke?”

Kirsec’s eyes widened slightly and then narrowed. But now he doesn’t seem to have the energy to be angry.

“I’m not worried……. I was just wondering what to talk about today.”

If that’s not a worry, what is it? This little boy was so stubborn.

Judging from his reaction, he seemed like an intern worried about an interview with a company president, not his father.

Actually, the Grand Duke wouldn’t expect anything great from an eight-year-old kid. Parents who think their child was a genius would expect something great, but if he had that much interest, he wouldn’t have left Kirsec until now.

“You talk about anything like you’re talking to a friend.”

I awaited his rebuttal, saying ‘How do I talk to my father like talking to a friend?’.

However, Kirsec’s behavior was unexpected. He hesitated, muttering a little.

“With friends… What do you talk about?”

Do you have no real friends? Well, even if his personality was awful, wasn’t there at least one person? If he was in the position of Grand Prince, the parents will make them or some clever one or two kids would stick to each other.

I shut my mouth, which had been opened in surprise. After all, I didn’t even have any friends. No matter how arbitrary the choice was, I could not denounce Kirsec’s behavior when we were in the same situation.

Still, if it was Kirsec, he should have already been furious at my reaction, but seeing how quiet he was, it seems that he desperately wanted to know. I opened my mouth to answer and then closed it again.

I was going to say, ‘You can do it like you did when you were talking to me’. But no matter how much I thought about it, it seemed like we had never had a conversation like that.

It has always been about Kirsec begging to be hit, or he would be sulking on his own.

After all, our relationship was also abnormal. By this time, I thought I could understand why the Grand Duke was forcing me to play tea time. If he wanted to raise that level of conversation to a normal level, there wouldn’t be a better match.

At the same time, my bitterness grew. The reason that boy had no choice but to have his personality developed in such a way was obvious.

No matter how I look at it, it was a harsh environment for an 8-year-old kid.

Actually, it was me who had memories of my previous life, and in that previous life, there was always eating alone and drinking alone, so I was used to doing things alone.

But it’s different for kids. At that age, you would get really lonely. When we met for the first time, didn’t it seem like he had no energy while secretly bringing out his mother’s story?

It was obvious that he was pretending to be okay with that personality. Even if he was okay on the outside by suggesting that he was really okay, it would unconsciously have a negative effect on him.

I don’t want to pity him like this. I shook my head to erase the needless emotional thoughts.

Anyway, if I don’t give him a solution now, Kirsec looked like he would dig and bury himself into the ground. Or he might crumble and turn into dust.

Do you have no friends? I didn’t ask any questions like that.

“It’s the same. What are you interested in these days, or what is fun? We usually talk about that.”

Kirsec’s eyebrows wrinkled, and his cheeks bulged. He turned his head to her side and let out an open sigh. The answer, which was no different from the previous one, was a sign that it was useless. There was regret that Kirsec had held onto me for nothing and asked me.

What does this little child know?

“Do you want to tell a special story that will catch the Grand Duke’s eyes?”

Kirsec’s head turned around.

“Do you want to show the Grand Duke the image of a smart and reliable son by talking about difficult things?”

“Yes. I want to.”

His eyes twinkle in anticipation because he wanted to talk about something useful now.

“I think that’s possible. By the way, do you want to be useful to the Grand Duke? Are you not his son?”

Kirsec bit his lower lip. I continued the rest of the words before he got annoyed.

“It would be nice just to be seen in the Grand Duke’s eyes. But if that happens, I think it will be difficult to become a proper father-and-son.”

“Why? Father… prefers people who are useful. Last time it was you!”

Me? Surprised by his own words, Kirsec shut his mouth. He had a look that was filled with regret and sadness.

Well, looking at the conversation between me and the Grand Duke that day from the point of view of a young Kirsec, he would feel that way. Even though it wasn’t a friendly conversation at all, it must have seemed as if me and the Grand Duke were having a conversation like a grown-up.

And it was true that the Grand Duke was in favor of me through that conversation. As a clever and useful little child.

But I know that’s not the type of affection that Kirsec ultimately desires.