The Squire on a White Horse

He tilted his head with the same face as always.

“How are you feeling, My Lady?”

“I’m fine. How many times have I said that to you today?”

“About three times?”

“Nine times.”

That’s all I could remember.

I looked at Stanley, who was sitting next to me with a big gap between us. In his hand was a teddy bear. I had prepared a ribbon as a good luck charm, thinking he would bring it to me.

I rewrapped the ribbon around the teddy bear, placed it on the pillow and patted its head.

“You are such a worrier,” I said. “I’m not your little, delicate, frail girl anymore.”

I was joking, but he seemed to be more shocked than I thought.

“Yes, that’s… right?”

I chuckled at his somewhat sad look.

“I’m not going to be able to lean on you forever as an adult. We’re husband and wife.”

I picked up a white rose that lay on my bedside table. I took a white rose from the bedside table, savored its rich scent, and offered it to Stanley.

“Look at me now… I’ve grown up, haven’t I?”

If not with my mind, then at least with my body.

What kind of expression would that be? He looked indescribably happy, sad, and nervous, and then his lips tightened.

He took the rose and then took my hand that was holding it.

Back arched, he reverently kissed the back of my hand.

“Yes. You have grown so beautiful. It… makes me dizzy.”

Stanley’s breathing was momentarily uneven.

The opposite of the reverent kiss on the back of my hand, a pressing kiss was dropped on my palm and wrist.

I could see his man parts, and what I felt was a jump down my spine. Maybe it was fear, or maybe not.

Stanley shredded a rose petal as he uttered a verse from the Bible.

He brought it to his mouth and popped it into his mouth. He tried to chew it, but it was still not tasty.

I swallowed it in one gulp and took the rose that Stanley offered me.

I wondered which one was the best. The outside looked hard, and the inside was covered with pollen. I snipped off the middle petal and brought it to his mouth.

When I said, “I forgot to bring the salad dressing,” staring at his chewing lips, Stanley rolled his eyes, then quickly realized I was joking and narrowed his eyes accusingly.

“You look scared, so I was trying to lighten the mood.”

I guess he wasn’t aware of it. He awkwardly touched his cheek to relax his face, and Stanley looked up as if he had regained his composure.

“That concludes the ritual.”

He stood up and placed a rose in a vase on the side table.

He sat down on the bed again, and the distance between us was much closer than before. It was probably on purpose.

I lifted my legs, which were draped under the bed, and slumped back.

“…I’m getting nervous.”

“Now? I was already nervous before I walked into the room.”

“You’re right. Your right hand and right foot were out at the same time.”

“…Really?”

“No.”

When I stuck my tongue out, he wrinkled his brow, as expected. He was afraid to say anything unless it was a joke, and he wanted to run away.

“I was just trying to lighten the mood.”

I cut off my words. No, I was cut off.

His lips touched mine. Just a little, really. He quickly pulled away, and I involuntarily fluttered my eyelids closed.

I wondered if that was a kiss. Even though Aishe and her friends had taught me that kissing was soft, sweet and pleasant, I hardly knew what to expect.

“I wasn’t sure about…”

“Shall we try to make it longer then?”

Before I could reply, Stanley’s lips pressed hard against mine. The hand around my neck pulled me even closer.

“Oh, okay. That’s enough.”

I finally understood what Aishe and the others had been saying. His lips were incredibly soft. His tongue was sweet as sugar.

His hands went to my back and the back of my head. Slowly, he put his weight on me and rolled me onto the bed.

The kiss ended as if we were tasting each other’s mouths, and his face pulled away.

Stanley’s face was illuminated by a lamp.

I noticed it now. It was a flower-patterned ceiling, similar to my room at home.

“Did you change the ceiling, by any chance?”

“Yes.”

“I’m so glad. It makes me feel at home.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

Speaking of which, I looked around the room. The arrangement of the furniture was similar to my room at home. This was the reason why I feel so comfortable.

“Maybe it’s the arrangement of the furniture, too.”

“Florence.”

When he called me by name, I broke off and looked at Stanley’s face. The nervous look on his face made me realize that he had finally called me by my first name without an honorific.

I thought I would be happier when he called me that. I thought it would make me feel like I could be a real couple with him.

And yet…

It was so hot that I thought all the heat in my body had gathered on my face, like it was burning. I wanted to say something, but my mouth was just chattering and I couldn’t speak.

I tried to turn my face away, but Stanley’s fingers prevented me from doing so.

“Wait a minute…”

“No, I can’t wait any longer.”

Stanley said in a forced voice, stroking his fingers over my hot cheek.

How long has he been waiting for me to be like this?

No, wait.