The Squire on a White Horse

Chapter 5.1. A Man

It had been a week since Stanley had returned. He’s been attending to Father more than usual.

I’d been filling my head with knowledge to make up for my lack of diligence, and it felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t get someone to listen to me complain.

But Stanley’s face grew more tired every time I saw him. I was not so insensitive as to invite him to tea.

That’s when I started to feel that strange feeling of loneliness again.

I was on my way to the study room with Dana when I bumped into Stanley in the hallway. I was so happy to see him that I almost smiled and tightened my face.

Instead, Stanley smiled a big smile and said, “I was looking for you, My Lady.”

“What can I do for you?”

‘Yes. I just wanted to let you know that I have a bit of time on my hands.”

I tilted my head in confusion. I was sure I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t think I had said it out loud. If it had been on my face, I would have been too embarrassed, but that seemed to be an unfounded fear. Stanley glanced at Dana behind me.

She met his gaze and nodded.

“Miss Florence, let’s skip the classroom today and practice dancing.”

“Oh, I understand.”

It seemed that Dana had told Stanley that she wanted to practice dancing for the party after the wedding.

I turned my slack-jawed face to Stanley.

It was still better to learn in a classroom. Even though I was feeling better, my body was surprisingly weak after being bedridden for so long. I didn’t mean to be extremely athletic, but I was not very good at exercise because it tired me out.

I turned my feet from the study room to the hall of the mansion.

It was the wedding of the daughter of a lord and the heir of a wealthy merchant. My parents were planning to make it a grand affair.

We knew that we needed to practice so that we wouldn’t embarrass ourselves, since we would have to dance the first song alone in front of a large number of invited guests.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine, she’s practiced with me many times before.”

I looked up at his face as I stepped into the hall.

In the past, Stanley had always been my dance partner. In fact, I had never danced with anyone other than Stanley.

“I see. It’s just a final check.”

Stanley’s smiling face still showed signs of fatigue.

I look at the dark circles under his eyes and think that if he had some free time, he should get some rest.

“Now, let’s get on with it.”

Then we’d get it over with, and afterwards I’d invite Stanley to join us in the greenhouse for some sunshine.

I took his offered arm and stepped out into the center of the hall.

Since we couldn’t invite the musicians to practice, the only background music was Dana’s clapping and shouting.

“Let’s play through a song first.”

“Yes.”

Stanley’s hand went around my back as if to pull me closer. I shuddered. I was confused by my reaction.

A number of question marks appeared in my head.

What was this? Tension seemed to be spreading throughout my body from where he was touching me.

I put my left hand on his arm from his shoulder and put my right hand on his left hand.

I had never paid attention to this before. I hadn’t paid attention to his big, dry hands that wrapped gently around mine, or his height, where he was one head taller than mine.

Was he always this tall?

“Lady Florence, look up.”

Dana said as she clapped her hands, and she noticed that I had lowered my gaze.

It was a standard waltz, danced while keeping eye contact with Stanley. The movements were flashy, but not too difficult, I thought.

“My Lady, are you tired?”

I was so tired that Stanley asked me if I was okay. As I chanted the three beats in my head, my gaze dropped and Dana reprimanded me.

“Start again! From the beginning!”

The more impatient I became, the more my feet tangled, and I finally took a wrong step and kicked Stanley’s foot with a flourish.

“I’m sorry…!”

“It’s okay.”

One wrong step and it was over. One wrong step and you’re out of rhythm, then you get impatient, then you’re out of rhythm.

“Miss Florence, look up!”

I looked up at Dana’s sharp voice. I looked up to see that Stanley was no longer smiling, and was all worried.

The hand on my back became tighter. He stopped and pulled me to my feet.

“Let’s take a break.”

With these words, he picked me up and immediately dropped me. It was a hug to stop me from spinning around. My body was soon released from his arms.

And yet, I could still feel his strong arms holding me.

“My Lady, your hand.”

I barely grabbed the hand that was offered to me and sat down on the bench at the end of the hall where I was taken.

It hadn’t been fifteen minutes since we had started dancing, but Dana, who had noticed the change, didn’t seem to object to a break. 

“I’ll go get a drink,” she said as she left the room. I wished she hadn’t left us alone.

Stanley knelt down in front of me and gave me a worried look.

“Does it hurt anywhere…?”

“No.”

I shook my head a few times.

“It’s not that I’m sick. It’s just… that I’m really nervous and I can’t move my body as well as I want to.”

When Stanley saw that I wasn’t feeling sick, he felt relieved and stood up and sat down next to me.

“It’s a once-in-a-lifetime event, you know. I’m also nervous about the same situation, like it’s the real thing.”

That may be part of it, but I don’t think that was the main cause.

The more I told myself not to be conscious of it, the more it became a vicious circle.

Stanley was a man’s man. Half of me was foolish enough to think that it was too late for that, and the other half was surprised to find out.

I saw him almost every day.

Just the other day, I had stripped him halfway through his clothes to make a shirt. The maids stopped me, even though I was standing next to him as they stripped his upper body and measured various parts of his body.

For some reason, I had a strong impression of the unreliable, introverted, slender body from the first time I met him.

I stole a glance at Stanley’s profile.

Without realizing it, he slowly sipped the water from the jug into his glass.

His larynx, which belonged only to a man, swayed a few times, and I couldn’t help but notice that Stanley’s eyes, apparently having noticed my gaze, looked down at me.