Chapter 65 – Remember

“…Ahh… Ahh…”

I run through the castle of memories, and reach the hall on the highest floor.

There I find…

“…Uu… Ahh… Kuh…”

An angel with white wings moans in pain.

The fourth demon king, White Paper Angel Lostmemory.

Memories scooped up from the capital are swirling around as they gather in that girl.

The white paper wings grow bigger as she takes in more memories, becoming a larger demon king than the girl herself.

“…Memoria…”

I say her name, but get no answer. I think she’s gone completely berserk.

But standing in front of her is…

“Kufufu… You came here to save this demon king? Is this one of those ‘I’ll save her even if it means sacrificing the world’ kind of situation? How dramatic of you.”

Memoria’s creator, life sage Cradle Destar.

His face looks pasty and patched together, like it’s dead. These patches split as the corners of his mouth joyously rise until they reach close to the ears.

“But what is someone like you, about to draw your final breath, going to do? You look as though you can barely stand up. And you don’t remember a lot anymore, do you? Do you even remember what you’re trying to save?”

“…”

I want to say he’s wrong… But Cradle is exactly right.

My body is over its limit.

The second trial was fighting Space-Time King Chronogate, and it was a very hard fought battle.

Bones all over my body are broken. My heart has been injured. I can’t breathe properly because it hurts too much, and it feels like my consciousness is going to fly away with each step.

But having that said, I can’t afford to heal my wounds.

And I ended up using my demon king transformation card on that trial.

Right now, I’m somehow maintaining an imperfect demon king transformation.

I can’t withstand the power of the demon king Lostmemory in this state, so every time I walk, memory pages fall from my body.

“You truly are a joyous being. To think you would even try to save a monster like this. It’s precisely because you are that kind that you are unable to save anyone.”

“…Yes, probably.”

If two people hang from a cliff, who do you save?

If someone asked me, I would always say both without hesitation, but they would probably end up falling because I’m too weak.

It was always like this in my previous life.

Again and again and again and again and again and again…

My hand could never reach anything.

It’s impossible to save someone without cutting down someone. I know that, but…

I can’t ignore even one crying girl.

That’s why… I couldn’t save anyone.

“…Wanting to save everyone is my fatal flaw.”

And I get weaker the more I want to protect.

I know that better than anyone.

“But still… I won’t give up anymore. I’ll say it as many times as I have to.”

I look straight at Memoria, and swear…

“I will save everything from here.”

If my outstretched hand can’t reach anything, I just have to reach out as many times as necessary.

Faster, stronger… I just have to reach out.

From this point, I can still make it in time. That’s why I came back to the past.

I walk towards Memoria.

“I see… You’re strong. I understand, to attain that much power, you must have worked harder than I can imagine. Wonderful. And that power you obtained after so much effort… Will be mine. The thought alone gives me uncontrollable chills.”

Cradle is trembling like he’s intoxicated, and yells at Memoria.

“Now, demon king Lostmemory! Show him your power! Take his memories and take me even higher!”

“…Uu… Aa…. AAAaAA!”

Memoria screams in anguish, and flaps her white paper wings.

They flap and flap, spreading a very large amount of blank papers that attacks me.

Those white pages suck up memories if I touch them, but I run towards this paper blizzard.

“…Wha!? Are you suicidal!?”

Says a shocked Cradle .

“《Haste》 Ⅶ (seventh speed).”

I use an acceleration technique and clear away the incoming white pages with my sword, as I keep advancing through this gap in the paper blizzard I’m making.

“Uu…”

White pages do graze me, and take away some memories, but I continue pressing forward.

If I go on the defensive like I did in the tower of the Sorcerer Association, I’ll just get stuck.

(…I can probably only use my power as demon king one more time.)

I’m struggling to maintain this demon king transformation for the sake of that one time, so I have to make sure it finishes this bout.

If I can get right next to Memoria, and pour time reversal magic into her, I’m sure I can undo her demon king transformation.

But if I fail, it’s all over.

The recoil of my demon king transformation will leave me weakened and completely unable to resist Memoria’s magic. And if I lose all my memories, I won’t be able to fight anymore.

“…No… Don’t come…”

Memoria presses her head and shakes it.

“…Memoria has been doing a lot of bad things… Hurting everyone…”

The white paper wings flap again and release even more memory pages.

I advance through the white paper blizzard like I’m almost drowning.

“…Memoria didn’t ask to be saved… Memoria is a doll… Memoria forgot her heart, so it doesn’t hurt.”

White pages keep grazing my body.

I can’t breathe, and my consciousness is going blank.

“…So why… Why are you so tattered…”

Memories keep getting peeled off.

I feel like I’m about to forget why I’m even moving forward. Like I’m about to forget the girl in front of me.

But still…

“Because you’re crying.”

That’s all the reason I need to fight.

Even if I don’t remember your name or your face.

No matter how many times I forget.

Remember.

Me from my previous life is screaming inside my heart.

It’s like suggestion, like a curse, like spitting out blood.

And every time, I remember you.

“You’re not a doll.”

Remember.

“You like ice cream. You like cheese. You like yogurt. You like marshmallow. You like hot milk. You don’t like tomatoes. You don’t like vegetable rice gruel. You don’t like celery. You like apples, but don’t like apple peels.”

Remember.

“You like basking in the sun. You like the smell of old books. You hum when you’re in a good mood.”

Remember.

“You like pretty flowers. You hate being alone.”

Remember.

“You smile when you’re happy, and shed tears for other people.”

Remember.

“You’re a regular, nice girl.”

I’ll remember as many times as I have to.

In my previous life, I couldn’t save Memoria, but the effort I went through to do it wasn’t a waste.

I worked for close to a hundred years to remember her.

I kept a diary, left a lot of memos, and worked to improve my memory.

But most important of all, I didn’t give up trying to remember her.

That’s why I can remember you again and again. And why I can save you from here.

“Give up, Memoria Lostmemory. If you’re going to forget your heart again and continue crying by yourself… I’ll reject that future again and again.”

“…Idiot…”

As she watches me falling apart while still continuing to move forward, the face of the girl that’s like a doll… Twists into a tearful smile for the first time.

Large drops fall from her gem-like eyes.

How can it be said that she’s a doll?

“…Memoria’s… Always been lost… Always dark… Always cold…”

She speaks intermittently, like she’s sobbing.

“…Always lonely… Always wanted to take someone’s hand… Always wanted to be saved…”

And then, she hesitantly reaches out to me.

“…Help…”

I decided the answer to that a hundred years in the future.

“Leave it to me.”

I toss my sword, and throw myself into the paper blizzard.

I’ve forgotten how to swing a sword, but it’s fine.

I don’t need a sword to take a girl’s hand.

“Memoria!”

I reach out to her.

I’m right in front of her, but… Memory pages cover her like a broken eggshell, and block my hand.

“Don’t… Get in the way!”

I reach out again, to break the towering white paper wall, and reach the girl behind the paper blizzard.

Memories are being rapidly sucked out of me.

I forget who is in front of me, and why I’m stretching my arm.

But I still do it. I keep reaching out even though I forgot.

“Uu… AaAAaAAAh!!”

I go above the past, above memories, and beyond, and I finally grab that hand I couldn’t that day.

At that moment, I muster up all that’s left of my demon king power, and chant in my mind.

“‘Time, turn back’.”

Lightning is unleashed from my body, and the burden on my magic circuits makes blood come out of my mouth.

The demon king transformation is undone, and my body loses power very quickly.

But still, I don’t let go.

“Memoria!”

I pull my hand back from the white papers, and then…

“…Ah…”

Memoria jumps out of it.

She’s not a demon king anymore, she’s just a girl.

White pages captured by Memoria begin to peel off and fall.

Her white paper garment, her white paper wings… It all dances in the wind, like it was all turned back into just being paper.

“…”

The castle of memories is crumbling.

Memory pages that formed its walls and ceiling start to rain down on the capital, and returning to their owners.

And then, as if coloring this white paper world, the blue sky appears in front of us.

“…Welcome back.”

“…Yes.”

Memoria nods, with her eyes still moist.

We slowly turn around.

“Now all that’s left is you, life sage Cradle Destar.”

“…W-wha…”

Cradle stands still, looking completely stunned.