Not Selfish (feat – Serena)

I opened my eyes and after a while, I realized that my hands and feet were chained.

“What is this…?”

“What is it, did you do it to me?”

I did not understand the situation at hand, so I asked Or An, who was standing in front of me, and he said with a smirk on his face.

…… Did I?

He said that he obeyed my bullying, tried to gain favor by helping me, and kept me alive without killing me was all an act to captivate me.

I couldn’t believe it.

Isn’t it Oran who showed mercy to the enemy even though he knew it would cost him?

“I can do anything against you if I set my mind to it. What do you think?”

“……You can’t do that.”

But Oran is threatening me.

“Seeing you helpless makes me want to attack you.”

He was a terrifying villain himself.

… He thought he had been tricked. After all, I don’t believe in villains.

I tried to be merciful for no reason, but it ended up causing damage to those around me.

The fact that I was deceived, the fact that Oran was originally a villain, the fact that this relationship will not change.

The guilt about Oran faded.

He felt relieved that he had paid for bullying him for no reason.

It doesn’t matter if I die now.

He thought it was better to die than to live like this and harm his comrades.

Orando will be satisfied if I die.

“If you want to get revenge on me, you shouldn’t die.”

But he prevented me from dying.

As if, he gave me a reason to live for the same ridiculous reasons as back then.

He wasn’t a villain.

It was the Oran I knew.

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Oran gave me the medicine himself.

“This is nursing care. Are you sure you have other ideas?”

As he said, it wasn’t nursing care or torture, but the medicine was so bitter that it reminded me of torture.

Still, he was able to endure it until the end, perhaps because Oran fed him himself.

“Come on, try it. You bastard warrior.”

After finishing the medicine, his mouth was so bitter that he asked Or An for a drink. Then he said he would give it to Evil if he cursed at it.

These are colleagues who crossed the dead line together. No matter how painful it was, I could never do it.

‘I made it to Oran.’

I was reminded of how ugly the villain I was when I made him curse at his master, the demon king.

It was at that time when the bitterness in my mouth deepened.

“Now, drink some water.”

Oran handed me a water bottle without hesitation at my suffering.

He showed mercy to me who had been harassed in the same way.

So I felt more sorry.

“But since you didn’t follow my will, you should be punished, right?”

So when he said he would give me a ‘punishment’, I was rather willing.

I was ready to accept any punishment if I could atone for it, if it eased Oran’s heart a little.

“Compliment me.”

I knew subtly that, given his personality, he would not subject me to difficult and painful torture.

But he only asked for praise. It was a very light punishment for his crime.

While thinking about what kind of praise to give, he didn’t get angry at the words that made fun of him.

“Oran is kind to me.”

I inadvertently replied that way.

But he didn’t regret it.

Because he was a really nice person.

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“How am I supposed to trust you and set you free?”

“Release.”

“…Yes.”

He didn’t want to act indecently in front of him, so he demanded and fought back to the extent that he couldn’t think of being a hostage to a villain.

Obviously crossed the line. But Or Anh didn’t get angry and gave me everything I wanted.

As I turned off the lights and stood in front of the door, I had a question.

It’s not like you’re treating me like a hostage.

I opened the door slightly and looked outside. Or Anh was so defenseless that he could not be considered a villain watching over the hostages.

After putting together a series of clues, I came to the conclusion that he was ‘playing the villain’.

But why? I couldn’t understand how he was trying to act that didn’t suit him at all.

Then the answer to him popped into my head.

‘… It’s because of me.’

The act of preventing suicide, the act of forcibly feeding drugs, and the act of inciting a colleague to curse.

It was all bullying I did to Oran.

The reason why Oran gave me the same treatment was because he would treat me the same way so I wouldn’t feel guilty.

…… I was so grateful and sorry for that consideration that I didn’t have the courage to face Oran in person.

But it was Oran’s wish that I didn’t feel guilty.

I decided to empty my feelings of sorry for him.

Two feelings remained in my heart like that.

One is the regret that Oran made me a bad person.

The only thing left… I do not know yet.

I only had a vague feeling that the day would come when I realized it properly.

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I thought it was not polite to mess with Oran while he was trying to alleviate the guilt by deceiving me.

“Why are you looking at me like that? I’m your hostage.”

So for a while, I decided to hang out with him according to his will.

But maybe he realized that his acting was poor, so he became passive.

“If you don’t have to release it, eat it quickly before it gets cold.”

“……That’s right.”

I harassed Oran by feeding him food myself, but he didn’t.

If you decide to become a villain to ease my guilt, shouldn’t you do it right?

This is a bit outrageous.

I felt uncomfortable because I felt like I was the only one who became the bad guy.

“Mmm, feed me.”

So Oran had to treat me the same way I bullied him.

Because that’s fair.

…… It was never selfish.

“Didn’t you hate being fed by me?”

“All, of course. But I can’t help it because the handcuffs get in the way of eating.”

Or Anh lasted quite a while, but eventually he fed me the stew himself.

“Okay, do it.”

It wasn’t humiliating to be served a meal by someone’s hand.

Rather.

Should I say that Oran, who is holding a spoon for me, seems to have become mine for that moment?

He wasn’t in a bad mood.

“Boo, I want it to cool down by blowing on it…”

Is that why? I was already bullied, but I thought it wouldn’t be bad if I was bullied a little more.

“I-I did it too.”

The request to cool off by blowing was not without reason. So, I believed that Oran would do it without saying anything this time.

“No villain would do that to a hostage.”

But from what he said, I realized that I couldn’t cross the line beyond this.

A hostage and a villain, that’s how we are.

“Whoops, now, ah, try it.”

“What are you doing?”

After saying it clearly, Oran listened to my request again.

If you’re going to act, you have to do it right.

…… It seemed like it would remind me of the emotion I was trying to ignore.

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After eating, I returned to my room. Maybe because I was full, I fell asleep, but Oran noticed my condition and immediately helped me get ready for bed.

As I lay down on the bed to sleep, the sweet scent of musk came up from the pillow.

The smell of Oran, it was a scent that made me feel better just by smelling it.

Once I realized that this was Oran’s sleeping place, I had a question. If you put me to sleep here, where does Oran sleep?

“Me? I’m going to sleep on the parlor sofa.”

“…Is it because I took your bed?”

Give up your seat to a hostage. Couldn’t get this

“If it’s okay with you, it’s okay to sleep together.”

But I don’t think it would be polite to him if I refused openly.

He didn’t think he would agree, but he thought it wouldn’t matter too much if he did.

It’s fine as long as you don’t spend the night cuddling.

As far as his skin can touch… I could stand it anyway.

“I’m fine, I can’t sleep anyway.”

But was it really? He didn’t accept my offer.

To be kind and stupid like an idiot.

I didn’t care anymore and was about to fall asleep when the sound of paper rubbing against my skin tickled my ears.

“……What are you doing?”

“To take care of the paperwork.”

He said he couldn’t sleep and was taking care of my business. It was something I had to do, so I tried to stop it.

“But there’s no way you, who don’t even know the letters, can handle it properly.”

“That’s fine, I’ve learned everything.”

I couldn’t refuse the favor of Oran, who learned all the letters in a few days to help me.

…… I’m still getting help.

“Isn’t it difficult and troublesome for you to hold me hostage like this?”

Unbeknownst to me, my inner feelings came out.

I bullied Oran for my own self-interest.

On the contrary, he tormented me to relieve my guilt.

It’s too obvious who the bad guys are.

“If I regretted saving you, I wouldn’t act like this.”

Oran must have known that. But he did not regret my existence.

Being kind to the end, I don’t know how far you’re turning me into a villain.

It was nice that he was like that.

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I got under the futon and organized my thoughts.

As I bullied him, he had to bully me as well.

Because that’s fair.

But now all that’s left is the drunken kiss I gave him.

I was afraid to be forced to do something like that.

…… If the opponent was Or An, there was nothing he couldn’t match.

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