The Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer

That this inn possessed a reception area was greater news than I could have hoped for, only depleted when I saw the fact that the receptionist didn't quite fulfil the height requirements for the position.

“Hello,” said the little girl, sitting on a stool. She stopped playing with her braid and picked up a quill that was wider than her hands. “Welcome.”

I looked down at the little girl, whose braid was already starting to come undone from our sudden intrusion.

She wore a polite smile, had large, innocent eyes, and donned blue overalls not dissimilar to the working dress of the town's farmers. This little girl may very well have been the daughter of the town itself.

Seeing her sitting studiously behind the reception desk, all I could do was smile.

Smile and laugh … and continue laughing, because this was the most transparent ruse I'd seen since Coppelia pretended that she didn't try secretly teaching Apple how to sneeze on command–a highly useful manoeuvre for frightening away peasants which I wanted sole jurisdiction over.

By placing a child at the desk, the inn hoped that this would endear me into paying out of my way!

Ohhohohoho! Did the proprietor of this establishment truly think such an open ploy wouldn't be seen through?

Perhaps the farmers who frequented this place would be susceptible to such meagre tactics as this, but I wasn't brought up with a hoe in my hand! I was brought up with a guide to courtly intrigue!

Naive! Each and every crown I earned, taxed and requisitioned was for the sake of the kingdom! I had greater duties than to the pandering of children. I would not be made to pay above the going rate by a sweet girl's large eyes!

What I would do, however … is give something else entirely!

Come, child! I will teach you a lesson worth more than any crowns you attempt to extort from me! I will provide a lesson in the real world that you will cherish as the tears threaten to keep you awake at night!

Now, experience the terror of dancing with a princess of the kingdom, whose skill at the art of speech is unmatched even by the melodic tongue of dragons!

“Good evening. I'm here to negotiate a night's stay in this inn.”

“Okay.”

I raised my hand to my lips, not bothering to hide my amusement.

“Ohohoho … you may dispense with the act. I have seen through your shallow guise and will not allow myself to be haggled. Know that I have felled every foe to have stood before me, and you shall prove no exception. I see the worn upholstery and the faded veneer. A testament to this inn's crumbling finances and reputation. I shall part with no more than 5 silver crowns for a night's stay.”

I placed 5 silver crowns on the desk.

The little girl looked at it, blinked, then pushed it back towards me.

“We're full.”

“Excuse me?”

“We're full. I'm sorry.”

I blinked.

Oho … ohoho … hoho?

C-Clearly, the mere sight of me caused her to forget how to accept money and direct me to a room.

“What do you mean you're full?”

The girl raised both arms out, pointing everywhere at once.

Truly, for the receptionist to wear the form of a child was the canny advantage. As anyone sensible actively avoided children on account of them being useless and horrifying, reading this little girl's actions was like deciphering the weeping of my servants as I spelled out their every error.

“Tournament. Lots of people. We're full.”

I was appalled.

The … The outrage!

The only reason why inns were full was because I made them full! My entourage was a storm which swept through towns, leaving not even a stable empty! Inns cleared themselves at my leisure! They were not permitted to be full before I arrived!

“Unacceptable. I require a room. The presence of a tournament filled with battling peasants and unshaven barbarians has no bearing on my needs.”

“We're full.”

The girl played with her braid, kicking her feet beneath the table as she waited for my response. I opted to give my departure instead.

I turned–

And then turned again, coming to a very gruesome realisation as I performed a full pirouette to face the little girl again.

“By any chance … would every inn also be full?”

The girl looked up in thought.

And then, she nodded.

“I think so.”

I pursed my lips.

To think that even as a puddle on the floor, the treasonous duke would still endeavour to cause me inconvenience! Making me come here was an insult. Attempting to sell out Aquina to the fae a slight. But troubling my need for accommodations? Impertinence at its finest.

And to top it off, a little girl whose demonic horns were doubtlessly hiding behind her wide eyes was currently swinging her legs beneath the desk as she sought to feed off my ire.

“You're very pretty,” she suddenly said.

I smiled as I leaned towards the little angel.

“Yes, I am. Sadly, it appears I'll need to search for an alternative provider of bedding. But it isn't your fault. Let's blame your parents, shall we? I'm sure they're terrible people.”

The sweet little girl nodded.

Then, she looked towards the ceiling in thought.

“I might get in trouble … but I can maybe give you the big room.”

I clapped my hands in delight.

My, so they did have accommodation available! Perhaps this observant little girl had realised someone of my obvious beauty could both afford and only be expected to stay in their most prized suites?

“The big room? Why didn't you say?”

“It's reserved. I'm not supposed to–”

“I'll take it.”

I pushed the 5 silver crowns back towards her.

Again, she looked at it. This time, she didn't push it back.

“The big room is 10 silver.”

I instantly grimaced at the cost.

10 silver crowns was a significant expense. That was an entire sack of apples for Apple. The ones he liked, anyway.

Even so, a special occasion warranted a special suite. It wasn't every evening where I was flush from victory. Just most.

I plucked out the silver coins from my pouch, my fingertips now truly feeling the bottom as I added to the smattering of coins on the desk. The little girl scooped them up and pointed to the stairs.

“Thank you. The big room is upstairs. The last door.”

I nodded.

Very well. The minimum level of expectation had been met. The end room of any self-respecting establishment was always reserved as a suite, offering the most opportunity to gloat at the other tenants while passing by.

I swept past the obliging child and made my way up the stairs to the hallway above, content to have avoided a night shivering beneath the dark sky.

All the while, my future handmaiden held her hands to her mouth, covering a smile which her eyes failed to hide.

“What is it? Does my bargaining over a child amuse you?”

“Mmh~ it sure does. 10 silver crowns. Wow! That's double the usual cost.”

“And no doubt a better price than anyone else could have achieved in my place. I do not discriminate between the Winter Queen and a child with a braid. I will present my full guile and wit in every transaction.”

“Yup. You sure showed her. You only paid 10 silver crowns for a night's stay in a broken down inn indistinguishable from the rest.”

“Indeed. Rather than charging me the standard rate for their suites, she should have futilely attempted to squabble for more.”

I smiled as I reached the end of the hallway.

“Ohohoho … unfortunately, to bargain with a princess is a mismatch as dire as any to be found from that tournament soon to collapse upon itself. And so we now enjoy the fruits of our success, beginning with a night of rest in a … in a ...”

The door to our room creaked open.

Coppelia peaked inside when I failed to finish my sentence.

“Mmh! In the most ordinary looking room around,” she said, skipping in regardless. “I choose the side closest to the window~”

I stood there, momentarily dazed by the sorry sight before me.

A room utterly unbefitting its cost of 10 silver crowns. I had no expectations of accommodation fit for royalty. But I had expected something more … big.

Why … the size of this room was no different to all the others I'd stayed at!

Even the layout of the furniture was exactly the same! A single bed, its pillows as hard as its frame! A desk and chair competing to see which was closer to spontaneous collapse! And a bizarre, unidentifiable spot on the floorboards which looked like all the grease of a sandwich melt had been rubbed against it!

I … I was certain!

This room was absolutely not worth the extortionate cost I'd paid!

“C-Coppelia ...”

“Mmh?”

“Could … Could it be … ? That innocent appearing child ...”

“Yes?”

Coppelia's eyes suddenly sparkled as she peered at me, her hands clapped together.

I gulped.

“Why … that child … has absolutely no contextual awareness for what a big room is! The Duchy of Aquina is even more of a hovel than I imagined! To think that in this barnyard region, a room which would only cost 5 silver anywhere else counts as a large suite!”

Slowly, the sparkles died in Coppelia's eyes as the gravity of my statement struck her.

Indeed, it was terrible! To think that children of this region, already fated to suffer at the whims of goats and cattle, would see so little of civilisation that their concept of buildings were utterly warped!

Truly, my timing couldn't have been better.

The moment my family assumed direct control over Aquina's affairs, the sooner we could begin much needed infrastructure projects. Such as building a statue of my great-great-great-great grandfather in the centre of its town square, tall enough to not only project his handsome chin across the entire region, but also act as a reference point for grandeur across the kingdom.

“... Sooo, I know I've suggested this before,” said Coppelia slowly. “But how about I haggle for our inn rooms?”

“Excuse me? Why?”

“I mean, I'm actually amazing when it comes to money matters, you know? The amount of strudels I can fleece for only a single copper crown shouldn't be possible.”

“Quite so. And I'll continue permitting you to do just that. When it comes to matters of bakery products, I've yet to doubt your prudence or your appetite.”

“Ooh! Then that means ...”

“That means, however, that I must insist on taking the reins when it comes to matters of my own speciality. Ensuring that the rooms we reside in always meet a set standard is mine.”

Poomph.

Coppelia sat down on the edge of the bed, then peered all around us.

“Huh. You're right. You're really good at that. After all, this room looks exactly the same as the rest. Even if you did pay twice the cost.”

I finally stepped inside, closing the door behind me as I took in the barren, yet familiar features of this inn room.

“Cost is relative, Coppelia. And clearly, these barnyard peasants have yet to gain any understanding of what a proper suite should entail. You're correct. This room is offensively mundane for 10 silver crowns.”

“I mean, I wouldn't call it that exactly.”

I gave a slight smile.

“Fortunately, disappointing inn rooms is now less of an issue than it was previously.”

“Eh? They no longer cause you to shudder with despair?”

“No, they still do. But the chief culprit behind my melancholy is no longer a concern.”

Coppelia blinked.

Then, she looked up at the ceiling.

“Fine, the mice are still a rampant source of my nightmares,” I admitted, also glancing up at the ceiling. “But my other chief concern is now alleviated.”

I raised my hand.

The ring demanded from me as the price of my tales shone on my finger.

A silver band adorned with a crystallised white flower. I had little doubt it represented some of the finest craftsmanship of the Fae Realm. And yet its value wasn't in its exquisite design.

No, it was in the magic imbued within.

“Coppelia, I suggest you–hm?”

“Oh, don't mind me,” she said, now huddling in the corner while using both the desk and the chair as a barricade. “Just my impervious sense for danger making alarming noises in my head again. Don't stop on my account.”

My smile twitched slightly.

T-To suggest that merely raising my hand was a precursor to something dangerous occurring was absurd! Why, that only happened while I wielded Starlight Grace! … Usually!

Anyway! It was time to do away with the most disagreeable aspect of my travels!

I aimed my hand towards the empty space between the door and the bed.

“Ohohohoho! Behold, Coppelia! Let this be the last night that we suffer the indignity of duvets shorn of the colour white, of pillows untouched by feathers, and mattresses indistinguishable from the wooden frames beneath them! Because I, Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea, hereby wields the most powerful magical ring known to exist across the mortal plane! … Tremble as I display the proceeds of my bargaining with the ancient fae of the Winter Court … [Summon Bed]!”

Booomph.

Falling at a height of a few inches, a magnificent sight suddenly materialised before me.

A crystal framed, four-poster bed, curtained with blue velvet and boasting a mattress, pillow and duvet set whiter than snow, yet also warmer than summer!

Ohhohohohoohohohohoho!

Here it was!

Filling up almost the entirety of the open floor, this bed represented the full force of my negotiating prowess! Here was an enchanted item second only to Starlight Grace!

“Ohohohohoho! Look! Look and wonder, Coppelia! For this is the bed of the–”

“Oooooooooooooooooooooooh~”

C-Coppelia!

She … She was already rolling upon it!

“This! Is! So! Amazing!”

“Coppelia! You … What are you doing! To roll and slather your hair all over the Winter Queen's bed … that is my responsibility!”

“It's soooooooooooooooooo fluffy! I feel like I'm rolling on a giant marshmallow!”

“S-Stop! Stop this at once! This is sacrilege! I … let me do that too!”

“I feel like I'm being swallowed! This … This feeling! Not even falling asleep on a pile of the library's most expensive books can compare to this!”

I quietly groaned, ruing my failure to anticipate Coppelia claiming the Winter Queen's bed like a cat in a spot of sunlight.

But no matter!

There was room for two, even with Coppelia planting herself down in the centre! This was a princess's reward, and I would enjoy it even if my future handmaiden hoped to monopolise it without me!

Knock, knock.

Suddenly, the sound of an intruder to my revelry caused me to pause.

I turned to the door.

I hesitated, knowing that any visitor so soon after claiming this room was unlikely to invite good news. And yet if it was truly worrisome, then more than a knock would be given to me. Perhaps this was an offer for room service?

Allowing Coppelia a moment longer to indulge in the softness of the Winter Queen's bed, I approached the door and cautiously pulled it ajar.

“Good evening,” said a young woman in the gap. “I apologise for the late hour. If possible, may I have a moment of your time?”

I blinked.

And then–I leaned in, narrowing my eyes as I peered closely at a woman whose face struck a note of recognition in my mind.

She wore travelling attire of light colours, sporting neither a single fray nor a speck of mud. Her hair was prim and tidy as it was arranged in an elegant bun, a pale auburn to match her cloak. And her eyes. They were green as emeralds, shining with impressive clarity even in the dimly lit hallway.

For a moment, I merely stood confused as I assessed her appearance.

The way she dressed was exceptionally well-ordered, and yet her poise was not that of nobility. She lacked a certain condescension in the way she looked at me, never once wishing to usurp my family's place as rulers of the kingdom.

No, try as I might, I could not picture where I'd seen this young woman before.

And then–she smiled.

A polite smile trained to a professional standard.

One which was as impervious to complaints as a wall made of stone. One look at that smile was all that was required to know that even if the world crumbled and all life ceased to exist, her smile would be the last to break.

And then I realised who this woman was.

She was the receptionist to the Reitzlake branch of the Adventurer's Guild.

“Once again, I apologise for the late hour. If possible, may I–”

I slammed the door in her face.

And then, ignoring the Winter Queen's bed, I went around its crystal frame, grabbed the chair in the corner, then dragged it to the door, before finally lodging its back underneath the door's handle.

“Who is it?” asked Coppelia, looking up with curiosity in her eyes as she finally ceased to roll around.

I went over to the bed.

And then, I climbed on–and promptly collapsed to the side of Coppelia as the mattress's overwhelming softness absorbed my weight.

There was time for headaches later. Headaches and extreme hardship.

But for now.

I would enjoy my reward.