The Villainess' Son is Innocent

It may sound obvious, but I thought I was dreaming.

‘Wasn’t it just a dream that a 19-year-old Emil killed my entire family?’

I shook my head.

Even if I wanted to believe that, the feeling of a cool blade piercing my stomach was too vivid.

That feeling couldn’t be a lie.

‘What happened?’

I stepped on the floor with my trembling legs.

My nanny, noticing my anxiety, approached me quickly and checked my complexion.

“Young Lady, are you all right?”

Isana was much younger than that night when I had died.

Her wrinkles were not deep and she had a few visible gray hairs.

“Can I touch your forehead?”

“Hmm, you don’t seem to have a fever.”

“Ah… no, I’m fine… it’s because I had a bad dream.”

“You’re pale, what kind of dream was it…? If you can’t calm down, would you like a glass of warm milk?”

“Please.”

Isana went down to the kitchen and I scrambled to stand in front of the mirror.

My 19-year-old self had disappeared, and in front of me was a sweet little girl who had not yet lost her baby fat.

Originally, I had grown my hair quite a bit, but its current length was just a little over my shoulders.

Slightly parted, almost without curls, a nourished, shiny and smooth ivory hair. 

Bright crimson eyes stared at me, unable to conceal their astonishment.

‘As I thought. It’s real.’

I could not understand how I had returned to the past.

‘Going back to the past, that’s not even possible…’

Then suddenly, one thing came to mind.

I knew someone who returned to the past. It was my mother, not anyone else.

‘Maybe, mom too?’

It was a possibility.

I didn’t see my mom’s or dad’s corpse in person, but Emil said he had killed them both with his own mouth.

Emil. As soon as I thought of that name, complex emotions came to mind. But I had a question.

‘What was his purpose for destroying my family?’

Even the hallways were silent as if all the employees had been killed.

“Ugh…”

Even now it was so shocking and terrifying that my stomach churned.

The thick smell of blood still lingered on my nose.

‘Could it be the madness the villainess suffered from?’

That’s what Emil looked like when I faced him. If it had been the Emil that I knew, it would never have happened.

‘What did that mean? That he was living like a puppet?’

But one thing was clear.

Emil inherited Robellin’s madness.

‘But the most important thing right now is that even if I came back to the past, the same thing can happen over and over again.’

At first, just as my mother hid from my father that she had gone through twelve regressions, I also hid the fact that I had memories of my past life from the two of them.

It was because I was afraid that they might look at me strangely.

They were my family, but I was afraid that they would kick me out or put distance between us.

So I was happy but always anxious.

On my fifteenth birthday, I couldn’t overcome my anxiety and confessed my secret to my mother.

-Mom, actually, I remember my life before I was born.

My mother looked startled for a moment.

Soon after, she reassured me, and she also revealed her secret.

-You sure are my daughter, aren’t you just like me? Actually, I went back in time a few times.

After that, it felt like I had a ‘real’ family, instead of feeling that I ‘just’ had a family. 

People who will understand me and accept me wholeheartedly, no matter who I am.

I couldn’t lose that peace again. I knew exactly what was going to happen, but I must not let it repeat itself.

‘First I need to find out why Emil killed my family.’

As I tried to calm down and sat on a chair, Isana returned.

“It’s a little hot, my lady.”

“I’ll drink it when it cools down. Thank you.”

As I gripped the hot cup, my heart, which had been pumping wildly, calmed down little by little.

“Tell me if you have a fever or you feel sick. We can cancel the invitations.”

“Invitations?”

‘Come to think of it, I completely forgot about that. I don’t even know today’s date.’

“The birthday banquet is tomorrow, but the health of the young lady is more important than anything else.”

I was about to ask, but thanks to her explanation, I found out that the age I returned to was ten years old.

My 10th birthday party.

Coincidentally, it was Emil’s first official appearance.

“I also sent an invitation to Young Master Callixst, but even if we have to postpone the event, I’m sure he will understand.”

Isana, wrapping a shawl around my shoulders, smiled brightly at me. I felt warm inside.

“But your complexion has improved a lot. I’m glad.”

“It’s because the milk is warm. And I’m not sick, so you don’t have to cancel the birthday banquet.”

“Are you sure you’re not sick?”

“I can’t pretend to be sick when I’m not.”

We have to throw a party for Emil to come.

Sooner or later, I’ll get involved with him, but I couldn’t miss this opportunity.

“What’s wrong with faking it? If the young lady wants, you can cancel for any reason.”

‘That’s true…’

Dad showed me his affection in every possible way.

If I say it hurts even if it’s a fake illness, he’ll cancel all my plans without hesitation.

The impact of the annihilation of my family and the return to the past was not easy to control, but by the time I had finished drinking the milk, my shaking had subsided.

“It’ll be breakfast time soon. It’s chilly today, so I’ll prepare a thick dress for you.”

After checking the empty cup, Isana called the maid and started preparing a bath.

After washing and changing clothes with Isana’s help, and thoroughly combing my hair, I was guided to the dining room.

As I sat down carefully so as not to wrinkle my pale-colored dress, my mother sitting across from me smiled, her eyes on me.

“Did you sleep well?”

I had to nod my head right away to pretend to be the same as usual.

However, the moment I saw my mother’s face, the memory of the hallway with red footprints crossed my mind.

It will only be difficult for me if I keep thinking about it, and yet, I couldn’t get it out of my mind.

I’ve already said it, so she’ll surely hear it from Isana later.

First of all, I went back in time as soon as I died, so perhaps for my mother, who had more experience in regressions, it was also the same.

‘Did mom come back, too?’

I hurriedly explained to her as she was looking at me with worried eyes.

“I had a bad dream, but I’m fine now. In my dream… My mom and dad died in an accident and left me alone… I was so surprised and anxious… Seeing mom’s face made me realize it was a dream, so I’m fine now.”

If she had also regressed, she would notice the nuance of my words.

However, my mother’s reaction was different.

“My daughter, do you want a hug?”

I flinched and tried to refuse, but in the end I went to my mother and hugged her tightly.

“Don’t worry, Mom and Dad are strong and powerful. They say dreams are the opposite. Aren’t you perhaps feeling burdened by the birthday banquet?”

“No, I’m not.”

“You can cancel if you want, so if you don’t like it, you can say it comfortably.”

Contrary to my expectations, there were no signs that my mother had returned like me.

It was a relief though. I love the warmth of her hugs… I was nervous at the thought that it might really have been a dream.

Perhaps I wanted to deny my memory, so I wanted to make sure what happened to me was true.

Or maybe I just needed someone to lean on.

“Is it because of your dreams that you’re not feeling well today?”

“…Can you tell?”

“Because you are the kind of child who is willing to endure alone no matter what happens. I could cancel the birthday banquet if that’ll help, but mom can erase your dreams… Why don’t we take a walk after eating instead so you can feel better?”

A warm smile floated alongside her soft, sweet voice.

“I would like that.”

Seeing that I was a little better, my mom smiled sweetly 

‘But… Why does everyone think I’m nervous about the birthday party?’

It was worth doing it. The banquet held tomorrow would officially be my first event to be hosted.

I thought it was simply a children’s birthday party, but I was embarrassed because it was grander than I had expected.

This time, I want to convince my family that I really wanted to do it. Otherwise, the same situation will repeat every year.

As I got out of my mother’s embrace and returned to my seat, my father came in, wearing a uniform.

“Happy birthday in advance.”

It wasn’t even my birthday yet, but my mom burst out laughing at the congratulations that came out of nowhere.

“You have been doing this already for a week.”

“I guess so.”

“No matter how much you love her, you should stop being this silly. You look even more excited than your own daughter.”

My father raised his cup and silently denied it. But I had to agree to it, he was the most excited.

‘That day, he handed me stacks of gifts as tall as a tree.’

After that, the nobles who attended with their children made all kinds of silly comments that I couldn’t even hear…

‘I’ll have to go through all that again.’

I wanted to stop him as much as possible, and my mother, far from doing that, was subtly encouraging him.

‘Even though she seems gentle, she’s really mischievous.’

So when she saw my father like that, she joked even more. 

With a knife, I pounded the nicely presented poached eggs in front of me.

The important thing was that tomorrow, I’ll meet Emil.

Where the hell did everything go wrong? I needed to know where to focus.

‘I should meet Duke Callixst too.’

The most suspicious person was Duke Callixst, for many reasons.

Emil was loathed and neglected to a great extent since he was the type of father who had no attachment to his son.

I nibbled a few yolks and put down the fork.

The memory of the ten-year-old Emil was hazy because the Emil I remembered was already 19 years old.

A friend who killed my family.

To be honest, there was a strong sense of betrayal.

But my desire to believe otherwise was just as great. I wanted to believe Emil would never have done something like this by himself.

I hid a bitter smile.

*   *   *

The day passed in an instant.

“My Lady, you have to get ready!”

The most excited people today were mom, dad, and Isana.

Isana, who woke me up early in the morning, worked hard washing every nook and cranny with the help of a maid.

‘Save me…’

How could I have forgotten?  

The fact that there were more than twenty dresses ready for me to try on for a single party. 

Just seeing the dresses hanging out of the closet made me lose my strength.

As I glanced at the dresses, the one I wore before returning caught my eye.

Gold threads were in the lace wrapped around the white fabric.

I loved that outfit. But, ominously, I didn’t want to wear the same clothes as back then.

“I like that one the most.”

“The light-blue one?”

As I pointed out the dress I liked the most, two maids brought it to me.

“It goes well with the young lady. The fabric with silver-white embroidery is really elegant.”

“Right? I’ll take this one.”

Isana glanced at the other outfits after I rushed my decision.

“I’ll wear this anyway, so it’ll be a waste of time.”

Shaking her head, Isana reluctantly agreed.

“Well I know you’ll be busy all day, but you shouldn’t exhaust yourself, my lady.”

It was true. I have to be with kids my age all day, so I should save as much energy as I can.

After wearing the dress, my hair, which was still short, was slightly tucked behind my ear and a headband was put on.

I didn’t forget to secure the side with a shiny topaz pin.

After a long period of meticulous preparation, I seemed anxious, because I was still unfamiliar with my younger appearance.

‘You have to do well, otherwise…’

My mind was suddenly overwhelmed with the fear of not being able to change the future.

I shook my head trying to get rid of my anxiety.

First of all, I have to get to know Emil faster than before the regression.

‘That way, whatever I do, I’ll be less constrained.’

After putting my fears aside and calmly walking out of the room, I saw my father waiting for me.

“Today won’t be an early greeting.”

“Yes?”

“Happy birthday.”

‘Was he waiting to say this?’

I burst out laughing. My heart that had been running wild with anxiety until just now, all of a sudden felt relaxed.

“Thank you.”

My overwhelming happiness spilled out onto my stern father’s expression.

‘Huh?’

The hand that reached out to me flinched, so I quickly grabbed my father’s hand, which was twice the size of my hand.

It was a short walk to the hall.

As soon as Dad and I appeared, all eyes were on me.

‘This is bigger than I remembered.’

To be honest, I wasn’t a fan of this type of social party.

Upon receiving an invitation, I attended only the necessary events, and generally stayed in the State immersed in internal management.

As I arrived at my seat, I smiled openly.

“For accepting my invitation on a day like today, thank you all for attending my birthday.”