Tired Of Death

"There," said Sooth.

Hammath nodded and drew his sword, which gleamed with white light. "Come on then," he said.

The Elven hunting party, much depleted, walked after him in battle formation. They were badly rattled now. Over half their number had been killed, and Sooth and the others had barely managed to escape the fight with the cat things and the dark elves. Even so, they had lost Frell Keeneye.

They followed Hammath as he walked through the rubble and the bodies, stopping before a large golden throne.

"Oh now what?" The mage sitting on the chair spat as the elf approached. "Can't a fellow get two minutes of rest without someone tramping through his domain? I should put up a sign or something."

"Hold foul wizard. I am Hammath, leader of these valiant Elves of Light, we are…"

"Yes yes. They went that way okay? Go away and stop bothering me!"

"…looking for a baby," Hammath plodded on, aware that this wasn't going as expected.

"Fine, the baby. Yes, with the wizard and the undead. Go on, you should be able to find them by following the crowd."

Hammath looked at Marrim Runecaster, who shrugged. "I will allow your life…" he started.

"Look, just bugger off will you? Before I decide to shove that glowing sword up your…"

"As you say!" interrupted the elf leader, backing away and making a pacifying gesture with his hand. He turned to his party. "Let's go."

Leaving the muttering figure behind, they ducked down into a small tunnel…

~ * ~

"The Black lake," said Gerald, "and the er, Black Forest." He looked at Dreth, who was scowling at him. "Hey! Don't blame me okay! That's just what they're called!"

Dreth looked ahead. The Black Lake lived up to its name. A dark mass of water receding into the distance. To the right, a forest of gloomy and twisted trees loomed overhead.

"Home sweet home." Gerald rubbed his hands together.

They walked on into the trees. "Cool place," said Percy, stopping to pick up a branch to use as a crutch.

"How far goblin?" asked Redthorne, the weariness apparent in his voice.

"My hut's just ahead. I like to keep on the edge of things," replied Gerald.

As predicted, the hut soon appeared. A ramshackle mound, made of a variety of different kinds of wood cemented together with mud and moss. The door was set at an angle in a shallow hole in the ground.

"Come on in," said the goblin, pushing the entrance open. "Honey, I'm home, and I've brought guests!"

There was no response. "Hmm, must be out," Gerald shrugged. "Here, wizard, you can sleep here." He showed Redthorne to a rather dirty sleeping area.

The mage unrolled his own mat and fell into it, asleep with the baby next to him as soon as he hit the floor.

"How sweet," said Percy. "Now, how about that leg?"

Dreth tossed him his sack. "Actually, I think I ate the last leg a little while ago."

"What!!??"

"Sorry." Dreth said, in a not very sincere tone. He turned to Gerald. "So, what do you have in this resort of yours?"

"Oh, lots of things! Where do you want to go?"

Dreth considered. "We don't have much time. No doubt our… friends will be hot on our trail."

"Well, there are many facilities for sure," said Gerald. "We have an alchemist, a necromancer, some shops, all sorts of things. And the port too."

"I need to find a leg!" complained Percy, looking up from the sack.

Dreth turned to Sprat. "Sprog, you stay and look after the wizard and the baby. The rest of you, we're going into town."

"Yes!" exclaimed Percy, hopping up and down excitedly.

"But Uncle Dref, me wants to go with you," the little zombie m.o.a.n.e.d.

"Once the wizard wakes up, you can follow us," said Dreth. "Goblin, which way are the facilities?"

"Oh you can't miss the main area," said Gerald leading them outside again and pointing. "Just go that way for about five minutes. You'll find a path. Turn left and follow it."

Dreth nodded. "Let's go then."

With Cuthbert helping Percy, and M walking beside him, they strode off into the woods.

~ * ~

"That must be it," said M, pointing at a low wall.

They were on the path, which wound around through the trees. Ahead was what appeared to be a settlement of sorts, surrounded by a wooden barricade. The trail led to a set of double doors.

As the group approached a goblin stepped out in front of them. It was wearing a battered helmet and holding a short spear. "Halt! Who goes there?"

"We do," replied Cuthbert.

"Undead! We don't want your type in here," snarled the guard.

Dreth stepped up. "What are you implying?" he said.

"We have our standards! No unauthorized zombies."

Dreth drew Darkblood, and moved it towards the small figure. "How's this for authorization?"

The goblin went cross-eyed looking at the point of the blade. "If you kill me, there are many others to take my place," he said.

"Good, they won't miss you then, will they?"

There was a blur, a brief slicing noise and a thud. The head of the goblin came to rest at the base of a tree trunk, some distance away from the rest of its body. Dreth sheathed his sword and pushed at the door. "I think my pass was accepted," he said, and stepped through.

He found himself in a small and bustling village street. Shops and two storey houses built of white stone lined the cobbled road. It all looked very normal, if you overlooked the inhabitants.

Most were goblins, but trolls, orcs, the occasional ogre and all manner of other denizens wandered around. Dreth thought he saw a demon striding along even. They wandered down the road, heads swiveling from side to side like tourists coming to a big city, until they came to a small square. In the middle was a statue of a dragon eating a fighter of some description.

Dreth turned the others. "Right then, I suggest we split up. Cuthbert, help Percy find a new leg. M, I think you should try and locate some sort of oracle, or library, see if you can't get some information about yourself."

"What about you?" asked M.

"I'm going to wander around. Do you have any gold?"

M shook her head, so Dreth dug into his pouch and passed over some treasure. "There, that should keep you going for a while. Meet back here in one hour. And… be careful!"

"Yes dad," said Cuthbert.

Dreth watched the others go, and then walked a little way along the street until he found what he was looking for. A restaurant. 'The Adventurers' Gizzard' the sign proclaimed.

He opened the door and strode in. Inside was not overly large, with room for about a dozen tables. Several goblin waiters moved around, serving the denizens seated there.

"Table for one," he said to an Orc standing nearby, and was led to a seat near the window.

"Someone will be with you in a moment," the Maitre De said, handing him a menu.

Dreth nodded and sat down, gazing out of the window which overlooked the statue in the square. He spent several minutes watching the various passers by, enjoying the peace and quiet before he was approached by a scrawny goblin.

The waiter was dressed in a white jacket with blood stains, old and new, liberally splattered all down the front. "Hello Sir, Madam or Being. My name is Nigel, I will be your server for today. How may I serve you?" He whipped out a notepad and waited.

Dreth glanced at the menu briefly. "What do you have?" he asked, deciding he couldn't be bothered to read it. "Something decent though, I don't want your goblin muck."

"You're in luck sir," the waiter said, ignoring the remark disparaging his species. "We have some fresh human v.i.r.g.i.n, just in, served with Belladonna salad and the dip of the day."

"Oh yes? And where have you managed to find fresh v.i.r.g.i.n around here may I ask?"

"Sacrifice off-cast sir, from the big nobs in the castle."

"I see." Dreth rubbed his chin. "Very well then. I'll have a portion of t.h.i.g.h."

"And how would you like your t.h.i.g.h sir?"

"You cook it? Oh. Well." Dreth considered this unexpected turn of events for a moment. "Medium rare then."

"Very well sir. Drink?"

Dreth expelled air noisily and glanced at the list in the menu. "A Screaming Organ sounds interesting."

"Excellent choice." The goblin made a final note on his pad and waddled off to spit in the meal.

A surprisingly short time later he returned with a large glass. It was filled to the brim with a red liquid. "Your Screaming Organ sir," he announced, and scampered away to deal with another customer.

Dreth examined the beverage. There was an eyeball and a piece of pineapple stuck on to a c.o.c.ktail stick. Some kind of brown substance was smeared around the rim of the glass, though it could have been they just hadn't cleaned it in a while. A portion of finger bobbed in the middle.

Hardly an 'organ' he mumbled to himself, but took a sip anyway. It tasted pretty much like it looked. Dreth put it down for a moment and considered the flavor. After a minute he decided it wasn't bad, and had another taste.

He was just finishing it when the goblin returned, staggering under a large covered platter, which he placed in the middle of the table. Taking a moment to straighten himself out, he removed the top with a flourish.

"Viola! Your t.h.i.g.h sir."

"I believe you mean, voila!" said Dreth, examining the dish. "A viola is a type of musical instrument, or possibly a kind of flower. Still, the thought is what counts." He waved at his now empty glass. "I almost enjoyed that. Another is in order I think." He glanced at the menu again. "Let's try a 'Slaughter on the Beach' this time."

"Very good sir," said the goblin. He took the glass with him and withdrew to the kitchen, leaving his customer pondering the meal.

Dreth poked at the food. It seemed to be authentic t.h.i.g.h, and though he couldn't actually tell if it was from a v.i.r.g.i.n or not, it looked female human. The meat was surrounded by some kind of plant leaves, which Dreth thought rather distasteful, though there was a side-dish of blood-sauce and sliced heart pieces.

He tucked in, pausing only to sip at the new drink which was delivered a few minutes later by the goblin.

"And how is your meal sir?" The waiter asked.

"Exffllmmt!" Mumbled Dreth, his mouth full of allegedly v.i.r.g.i.n t.h.i.g.h.

The server nodded, pleased, and left him to eat.