Tired Of Death

Dreth emerged into the air and inhaled deeply. He was feeling quite content with the world. The feeling lasted for nearly thirty seconds. Looking up the street he saw a large and unmistakable figure, red eyes piercing the crowds as it scanned them.

"Oh Dreg!" hr exclaimed, stepping back against the wall. He waited until the golem was looking the other way, and then staggered quickly down the street, wishing he hadn't had so many drinks. He bumped into Cuthbert and Percy on the corner of the village square.

"The other way, quick!" he hissed. Then did a double take. "What'sh that??"

"Good isn't it?" said Percy, proudly extending his new leg. It whirred and ticked, glinting in the dim light. "Hey! Have you been drinking?"

"It'sh metal!" exclaimed Dreth, trying to focus and ignoring the comment.

"Clockwork," said the zombie. "Two days on one wind. You have to keep up with the times you know."

"Well, better put it on 'run' setting. Old shtone… stone face is behind us."

The zombies turned with Dreth and they started back down the other street, only to stop short.

"Hey. Aren't those dark elves?" asked Cuthbert.

"Fug!" Dreth squinted at the scene, which appeared to be spinning slightly. "Back, back!"

The three ducked back, running into the square. "There's M!" Cuthbert pointed at the figure crouched next to the base of the statue.

They lurched over to her. "Hey! Fancy meeting you here," said Percy.

"Get down!" That giant is here." Emerald made shushing gestures.

"He ish not alone," said Dreth.

"Are you drunk?" asked Emerald, peering closely at him.

"Disgusting isn't it? Us in mortal peril and he hits the bottle," Percy said. He moved closer to Emerald. "Stick with me, I'll see you alright."

Dreth scowled and tried to speak clearly. "Over there, towards the exit." He pointed back to the first street.

Trying to run inconspicuously, the four moved quickly along the road. Dreth weaving slightly.

"Phew!" said Cuthbert. "Made it." He pushed at the gate and bumped into Redthorne and Sprat coming the other way.

"Elves! The Elves are coming," panted the wizard, jiggling the baby.

"They chased us through the woods," chimed in Sprat.

"You have to be kidding me!" said Dreth. "Shince when did we get sho popular?"

"Have you been drinking?" asked the mage, sniffing. "I can smell Blooded Mary."

"He's a lush," said Cuthbert.

"Shut up!" Dreth said, closing one eye in an attempt to see straight. "Come on, down this shide shtreet."

The fugitives made their way through down the alleyway, emerging near the main square again. Peering out from behind a crate, hand over one eye, Dreth assessed the situation whilst trying not to sway.

The golem was standing near the statue, looking around. Up one street he could see the dark elves questioning several goblins, and the giant was up another road, scratching his head. No doubt the elves were heading in from the other direction.

He looked at the two remaining roads. One was Dock street, and the other was Desert Lane. Not the most promising prospect, though it could lead out of the village.

"What do we do?" asked Percy, polishing his new leg.

Dreth m.o.a.n.e.d. "I need another drink," he said.

~ * ~

"What do you mean he is somewhere near? I don't want somewhere near, I want results! Find him, quickly, or it will go badly for you!"

"As you command," the Golem replied in what could have been interpreted as a weary tone, had that been possible.

"Very well, I expect to hear some good news soon." The Master of the Dungeon waved a hand in an intricate gesture and the picture in the mirror faded, to be replaced with his own scowling reflection.

"Wretched automatons," he muttered to himself. "How hard can it be to track down a couple of undead in a tiny village?" The Master was about to turn away when the mirror pulsed red, an indication that there was an incoming message.

He frowned and made the activation signal. The red glare dimmed, to be replaced with a wavy image that crackled and jumped about madly. The Master swore and adjusted the vertical hold, fiddling with it, cursing all the while, until it finally stabilized and the picture could be seen clearly. Once it did so he rather wished the thing had remained broken.

"Overlord," he bowed low. "I'm honored to speak with you." He held the pose, trembling before the figure in the mirror.

The Overlord waited a calculated moment before allowing him to rise. "We are displeased," he said.

"Displeased?" The Master's voice wavered slightly as he mentally flicked through a list of private projects and wondered which one had been discovered. "Oh mighty one, what have I done to incur your wrath? I am a loyal and obedient servant, dedicated to the Greater Bad."

The Overlord leaned forward and glared at the Dungeon Master, who quailed under the gaze.

Fiery red eyes set into a scaled face with a fl.i.c.k.i.n.g forked tongue. Horns perched on top of a head that was affixed to a long serpentine figure writhing over a pit of lava. Victims below, roasting in agony within the flames, whilst blood ran from eye sockets picked b.a.r.e.

All of this was not present.

Indeed, any onlookers would have been surprised at the evident fear the Master was showing. The image was hardly one that most would immediately run from. The Overlord stared at the Master through thick round glasses. A comb-over crawled over a shiny scalp. His scrawny frame sat at a pleasant desk with a single flower in a vase to one side. Paper was piled up in neat stacks. In the background a comfortable sofa could be seen. Fiery pits with screaming victims being horribly tortured were, if anywhere nearby, in a soundproof room out of sight.

"I'm talking about Dreth," the non-horrific figure continued. "My reports indicate he has left his post, and is seeking escape."

"Dreth?" The Master said, puzzled at this interest. "The Undead Way guardian? You have nothing to fear oh great one. I've dispatched an agent to, er… dispatch him. I've just been in communication with it in fact, and expect positive news any moment."

"Fool! You have no idea who he is do you?" For a moment, a flicker of a moment, a spark of red seemed to appear in the Overlord's eyes. Perhaps it was just the reflection of the flower though.

"He… he's just a guardian your magnificence."

"Just a guardian he says." The Overlord rolled his eyes and made an 'I'm dealing with a moron face' as he jabbed a finger forward. "If he succeeds in escaping, your life will be extinguished as though it never was, though not before your broken body has been put through the most deviant and painful tortures I can think of." He sat back in his chair and tapped the desk. "The situation is beyond your understanding. Needless to say, I expect you to ensure that he returns to his post, or is removed from the picture in some way." He leaned forward again. "I hope I have made my… d.e.s.i.r.es clear enough."

"Y… yes oh superb and ultimate Awfulness."

"Good. Get on with it then."

The picture winked off, leaving the Master blinking in bafflement. Eventually he pulled himself together. "As you command," he said belatedly, and turned away. This was going to take something special.