To You Who Never Loved Me

Chapter 11

 

[And it will hit you and hit you again. It will beat you until you are gone.]

My father, who died of neglect, seemed to be pulling my ears and singing.

Looking around, I couldn’t move my eyes because I was afraid my father

would be there.

“Father…”

He was a kind but fearful father. A father I love but also want to run away

from.

After meeting Michael, the hallucinations and illusions of my father, whom

I had not seen or heard, returned in a terrible form.

It was the moment when I couldn’t endure suffering, so I wrapped myself

around my shoulders and was about to collapse.

The voice that was singing changed again.

In Michael’s voice.

[Finally, I’ll eat you. Bite one piece by piece. Without leaving any flesh.]

And the woman, who had been showing her back all the time, finally

turned around.

“Michael…”

I mistook it for a moment. Because the woman’s face resembles Michael’s.

A woman who resembled Michael lifted her leg lightly and flew towards

me.

A woman with the moon on her back came out, touched my forehead, and

opened her mouth.

“Life, born from the mother’s heart, nourished by blood.”

“…”

“Abandon that and run away.”

“What do you mean by that…”

“Don’t trust anyone with a face that resembles me.”

The woman’s hand rubbed my cheek.

“He wants you…”

While talking, the woman suddenly moved her eyes and looked behind me.

I also wanted to turn my head, but I couldn’t even move because of the

woman’s spirit. The woman who looked back at me took off her hand that

was touching my cheek and flew into the air.

The woman, moving away towards the moon in the sky, was looking at me

until the end. The moment she disappeared with the light as if absorbed

by the moon, I unknowingly said her name.

“…Diana.”

I realized it only after the moonlight remained.

That she was the Goddess Of The Moon.

* * *

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.”

“Rose.”

It wasn’t until a man who looked like her called me to come to my senses.

When I lifted my head, Michael took off his coat and covered me with a

friendly smile.

I was sitting on my knees in the valley, the border between the two forests.

Michael stood up that day. The sunset of the sun just rising seemed to

cover my body warmly.

“Is it cold?”

From afar, I could see Becky and Pavice, who had just risen, running

towards me. However, unlike them, Michael was relaxed.

He didn’t even ask why I’m doing this here.

Maybe he doesn’t feel worth it, or you know why. I guess it’s one of the

two.

Which one is Michael?

“Michael, I saw Diana.”

“What did she say?”

Again, Michael had no agitation at all.

“Tell me, Rose.”

She told me to run away…

“I don’t remember very well… I can’t…”

But I won’t say it. I want to be next to you.

“You’re nice, Rose.”

Michael also tapped on my nose with his index finger this time. I’m not

surprised or embarrassed by his actions.

And just as I forgot some of my father’s memories, I promised that I would

forget the goddess that appeared in my dreams.

“Hey! What if you startle people in the morning!”

Pavice, who was smirking, became angry for the first time. It was different

from the usual appearance that always called me ‘little girl’ and treated me

kindly. I don’t know what to say, I was surprised, but my shoulders

shrugged by themselves.

Seed just sat in front of the extinguished bonfire and looked at me, but

didn’t come any closer. Becky looked like she was still sleeping.

“Don’t do that, Pavice.”

It was Michael who stood in front of me and stopped Pavice.

“No matter how cute a little girl is, this screaming…!”

“I have seen the Goddess Of The Moon.”

Pavice cut off my words and Michael’s words. It was a different reaction

from Michael, who didn’t seem to have too much agitation earlier. If

Michael’s reaction was suspicious, Pavice’s reaction made me anxious.

Pavice looked at me without a word, with only his eyes wide open.

“the goddess doesn’t easily let his congregation see its appearance or hear

its voice so easily.”

“There is no mystical goddess.”

Even with Michael’s mischievous words, Pavice’s gaze was on me.

“Rose, are you real? Did the real goddess appear in your dreams?”

At this point, I started to get confused too. At that time, whether that

dream is a reality or a dream. Whether it’s a reality or a dream, I’m sure

she’s a goddess, but in fact, she wasn’t even talking about her existence

directly.

Therefore, the only answer I could give was an ambiguous affirmation.

“Well, it seemed like that…”

“How are you looking? For example, like someone of us.”

Can I tell him? The fact that she resembles Michael…

Without knowing, the gaze went to Michael, who resembled Diana.

“…Evidently It is true that you saw the Goddess Of The Moon.”

“Oh!”

“What is it?”

How did you read my insides even when I shut my mouth tight?

Again, Pavice was quick to notice.

I had a cold sweat for nothing. I couldn’t see Pavice and Michael

face-to-face, so I made excuses by looking at other places.

“Diana-nim never looked like Michael!”

“…Rose.”

“Really!”

“I never said that the goddess resembles Michael?”

“Yeah…?”

I looked at Pavice, who had been avoiding his gaze all the time in

embarrassment. He laughed. It was Pavice, the playful figure I used to

know.

Michael shrugged and wrapped me around. Pavice woke Becky up as if

nothing had happened, and we naturally started packing.

Something, it seems like the serious atmosphere has passed, so I was

relieved…

The feeling was weird.

In any case, Pavice knew that Michael resembled the Goddess Of The

Moon. Even Michael was not surprised at the existence of the goddess in

my dreams.

How can this be?

“Michael…”

Can I ask you? I am now in the family with the people here.

“Why?”

“I have a question.”

I hesitated.

Pavice also noticed that he knew something. Can I ask Michael?

“It’s okay, Rose, you can ask anything.”

But his affectionate attitude cut off my hesitation.

“How did Michael get to resemble Diana?”

I could have believed Michael’s words, no matter how ridiculous, but I

could see that his words weren’t sincere. First of all, there was a sense of

playfulness from Michael’s expression.

“You don’t seem to believe me.”

“Can’t you tell me, too? I’m confident that I won’t tell anywhere if it’s a

secret.”

“If I don’t tell you, it won’t leak out.”

“You said I could ask you anything.”

I guess I was pestering him without realizing it. I didn’t know I was acting

like a child.

“I thought you were a good kid.”

Until his voice becomes heartless.

“You’re quite stubborn.”

Every syllable of the voice I spit out was annoying.

“A bad child who bothers can’t get cuter.”

Soon, he bowed down and met my eye level, and he showed playful

laughter while erasing the cold reaction from earlier. But I couldn’t laugh

face to face with Michael.

“So… should I be a good child?”

It was because I thought I knew that the previous image was closer to his

sincerity.

Suddenly, Seed’s warning came up.

That saying to run away before being used.

But if I run away from Michael, where do I go?

“…I’m sorry. I’m wrong, Michael.”

Maybe Michael is not as good as I thought. But nothing changes. Invariably,

Michael was a benefactor and the only one to protect me. So I still liked

Michael.

“Right. You’re so nice, our Rose.”

As I softly made a mistake, Michael tickled my chin with a gentle gesture.

If I listen well, Michael treats me like this and makes me cute. I just need to

be good at it. After all, it’s my fault for asked a difficult question. Michael

only pointed out my wrong attitude.

“Michael, you’re ready!”

“If so, don’t be slow and everyone gets on the horse. Rose comes here.”

Michael treated me with kindness, is he trying to compensate as much as

he has caused. Even while driving together, he reached out before me…

“Rose, aren’t you hurt by what I said earlier?”

As soon as he got on behind me, Michael quietly asked me. Of course,

there was only one answer I could give.

“I don’t mind. I didn’t get any hurt.”

“After all, Rose is a good girl.”

How should I describe this feeling? It was unpleasant and strange, but I was

relieved by his words that he was good.

Michael continued to whisper sweet words to me, make me caught in a

strange mood.

Good Rose.

Rose listens well.

Baby cat and Rose.

Lovely Rose.

It’s like a spell, so I’m a little dazed. Until the horses passed through the

valley and reached the entrance of the Dream Forest, the view was blurred

as if I was about to fall asleep.

[“…”]

If I hadn’t heard anything strange with the wind sound, I might have fallen

asleep sadly in Michael’s arms.

“Michael, don’t you hear a strange sound?”

“I think my little girl is half asleep.”

The question was posed to Michael, but it was Becky who answered.

The forest surrounded by dense trees could not be seen inside. It was a

forest surrounded by soggy air that it would not be sunny. But that didn’t

mean it felt ominous.

However, I keep hearing strange sounds…

“Can’t you really hear it? I keep hearing a strange sound!”

“It must be the sound of the wind.”

Michael’s horse, who was at the forefront, pushed his head into the forest.

“You’re a bad boy if you interfere with what needs to be done.”

“I’m not trying to interrupt…”

“You have to be quiet. Huh?”

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When he said that, I suddenly couldn’t think of anything. I couldn’t resist

Michael’s feelings.

Instead of sunlight, the shade of the forest cast over us.

When I came to my senses, I had already stepped into the forest

completely.