Too Late....

3 years later...

Paul bought flowers for her. He immediately went into his room, found her reading a book. He went towards her and pecked her forehead.

"Hey, what are you reading? I bought flowers for you."

"Really, thanks, baby."

"Only thanks! How about you thank me on the bed." Circling his arms around her waist.

Her body became stiff, but then she passes a smile to him and nodded.

Paul can feel her stiff body, but then, he ignored that. He smashed his lips on her and made her lay on the bed. Getting rid of his clothes, he was kissing her gently, he can feel she wants to say something, and he knows what she wants to say but he doesn't want to listen to those words.

When he was taking off her dress, she bit his earlobe, which turned him on more. He was growling, but soon his mood was off when he listens, those words.

"Oh...pau...ul, I love. you. Say, you love me. "

Paul growled, "I love you."

"Call me Shreya"

Paul stopped doing what he was doing. He gets up from his bed and went into the bathroom.

He stood into the shower, and realized how badly he wanted to say to her, "I love Rishika" but he knows he can't. Whenever she asks him to call her Shreya while m.a.k.i.n.g. .l.o.v.e it was a great turn off for him. It's like there was a third person with whom he is living.

She wants him to call her, Shreya. But he can't utter those words.

.....

He was looking out of the window enjoying the view. Soon, he felt arms around him, his body became stiff.

"Good morning Baby."

Paul turned around, "good morning..."

The girl in front of him looked at him with a frown. Paul knew what she wanted to listen but he doesn't want to utter those words but didn't want to hurt her anymore. He huffed and said, "Good morning, Shreya."

The frown on her face disappeared. Shreya continued, " would you like to have a cup of coffee?"

He got irritated with her behavior, " what do you think stupid. Of course, I want a cup of coffee" whenever he called her Shreya, he feels like someone has punched him in his guts.  For others this Shreya is perfect, but for him, this Shreya is clingy, annoying, and dependent on him for everything.

Shreya flinched but nodded her head.

....

Shreya has started taking care of all the things. She was way perfect. Paul was observing her movements, how she very willingly doing everything for him. He went towards her and pecked her forehead and informed her that they are going to have dinner outside.

Listening to this she gave him a beautiful smile. He smiled back. But something was missing in his smile.

He felt suffocated with this version of Shreya. Why? He himself doesn't know. This Shreya is way perfect. Somewhere in his heart, he wants his Rishika back, who keeps on fighting with him, Who doesn't care about other's opinions, Who was straight forward, who stands up for herself.

But this Shreya is tamed one, who is dependent on him. For her others opinion matters a lot to her. If someone is angry with her, she gets upset.

...

Paul & Shreya arrives at the same restaurant, where he took her on her birthday.

The waiter served the dinner. Shreya was having a salad. Paul clenched his jaw, "why are you not eating other things? I ordered your favorite white sauce Pasta. "

When Shreya heard this, she looked at him with confusion but after a few minutes, she giggled, "Paul, I don't like Pasta. I always like a salad from childhood. Plus you are the only one who called me a fat horse. So, I'm on dieting"

Paul looked at her with pity. He has not raised his hand on her after that incident.  But Abuse has many faces.

But this time he himself is not realizing, that he is abusing her. Because unlike others, his wife is not complaining. She accepts her fault, and try to be a better person.

....

When dessert was served, the spoon fell down from her hand, and Paul scolded her for bad table manners.

Shreya's eyes welled up again. Paul looked at her and closed his eyes, to calm himself. Before he can speak, Shreya apologized to him.

"I'm sorry, it's just I'm still learning. I'll try my best that you don't feel humiliated when you are with me." Whenever he scolded her or yelled at her, she felt like she deserved it. Even if she knows something was wrong, her hunger for the love she had wanted, made her reasoning silenced. She was always walking on eggshells trying not to upset him.

Paul looked at her and nodded his head. He can see, she is clearly upset about his bad table manners comments. He scolded her thinking maybe he can see a glimpse of his old Rishika in her. But he found none like Rishika existed. He was craving to just get the glimpse of his Rishika, but the woman sitting in front of him is not allowing that Rishika to come up.

After lunch, they went for a long walk. Holding each other's hands, lost in their own thoughts.

Soon, Shreya hugged him tightly, "I love you, Paul. Please don't be angry with me. Give me one more chance, I will try my best, that you won't feel embarrassed because of me in restaurants."

Paul was confused, but then he realizes that in her mind, the restaurant incident is still bothering her.

But for Shreya, she was so afraid of losing him, that she would compromise with his insane accusation & try to submit.

Paul hugged her tightly, a lone tear escape from his eye, but he quickly wiped it. He was sad, tired, frustrated and angry now, with this girl, with himself. The version he modified her into, he hates this version. After releasing her, he gave her beautiful earrings, on which Shreya started sobbing.

"Hey, what happened? Why are you crying?"

"It's just I'm angry with myself. You are so considerate, always give me gifts, you are keeping up with my mistakes. Why can't I be perfect for you? Why do I make such mistakes all the time? I hate myself. Don't worry, you can ignore my mistakes, but I can't, I'll punish myself".

He froze listening to the word Punishment from her mouth. He curses himself. Paul can see, how desperately she wants to become perfect. " Rishi...I mean Shreya, I'm not angry with you. You don't have to punish yourself"

"Did you just called me Rishika? Why would you do that? You know I hate this name. Oh, my God, you are calling me with this name, that means you still hate me. "

Paul realized his mistake, he knows Shreya hates her original name, whenever someone calls her with that name she becomes way more upset. And hurt herself. She hates her old version, her old lifestyle. Paul can see the disgust in her eyes, for herself. No one has hated Rishika, as much as she hates herself. Her name is like a taunt to her. Whereas her new name is like a taunt to Paul.

He holds her shoulder, " No one can be perfect. Perfect people are not real. I don't want you to be perfect." He desperately wants her to understand. He wants her to say that he loves old Rishika.

"Oh! Paul, you are so innocent & kind. I know what are you trying to do here, you don't want me to punish myself. But saying this doesn't mean I won't punish myself."

Paul can realize that she has become so much fond of this new name, a new personality. She was obsessed with 'Shreya'. And the punishment is just the way to relieve her stress. Whenever she punishes herself, he felt like old Rishika is punishing this new Shreya.

He doesn't know what to say, it's like he is losing to Rishika also as well as with Shreya also.

....

Shreya was in the bathroom, where she was slicing her leg with a pocket knife. The pain was soothing her. Pain, makes her feel alive. It makes her feel, that she is in control.

While limping, she reaches her bed. Paul saw her limping and tries to help her. But Shreya stops him, stating that she needs to feel pain, as next time she won't repeat her mistake.

Paul gave her pills which she gladly took. These pills are of high dosage of Anti-depressants. Just because she changed herself, that doesn't mean that she is not depressed. Depression has so many forms. Her depression & anxiety are exhausting her, her body, her mind.

When Paul saw her she was asleep, he quickly gets up and bandaged her leg. He lit up his cigarette & was looking at her face. Tracing her features with his finger, he whispered, " I'm so sorry, Rishika."

He recalled how Rishika became Shreya.

Her journey to become Shreya was a hard one. It is not easy, to become someone just like that. Paul recalled how he used to compare Rishika &Shreya just to degrade her.

Flashback...

"What? What did you just say? You want me to call you Shreya?"

"Yes, she is perfect for you. I will become just like her. And you also want this"

"Look at yourself, you are a f.u.c.k.i.n.g social cripple"

"Give me one chance, Paul, I get it, Rishika is mean. No one wants her. My family hates me. My bhai will never want me back. I have no one. Except you. I can not lose you. " Paul can see how desperate she sounds.

Paul smirked thinking, he will break her more, and it's a perfect chance for him to mold her. It's like a game to him, because he was so sure, that Rishika will be going to lose.

 What he doesn't know that this game was going to suffocate him, so much, even if he wants out, he won't be able to do that.

He recalled, how he used to criticize her for being a loner. Because Shreya was a social person whereas Rishika's friend circle have only Rishaan.

Comparing her with Shreya, also makes Rishika realize where she is lacking. She is lacking everywhere.

Whenever he abused her verbally he makes sure, Rishika believed, she deserved it & it was she who made him angry. He always told her to behave like her, dress like her, to be like her. He made her conscious of everything. He comments on her everything she does.

Flashback...

"Are you ready to go?" Paul looked at her.

"Yes, how am I looking?"

" Ugly! Can't you wear makeup? It will hide your ugliness. God, you have wasted my so much time."

Rishika never wears makeup. But listening to his comments she started wearing makeup every day, even when she is at home. She again gets ready, with make up this time.

"Listen, please don't embarrass me there, talk with others. Don't sit there just like that. God, why can't you be like normal girls? I'm warning you, be sociable there."

Rishika just nodded her head.

They arrive at the party. Paul got busy with his business partners. She was trying very hard to smile, trying to take an interest in the conversation. But it's not easy to be liked by others and talk with them.

She excused herself and went to the washroom. When she returned, she heard them calling her boring and annoying. Some of them called her gold digger, and s.l.u.t. She was listening all that they were saying, but instead of confronting them she felt suffocated there. She disappeared from there for the whole evening & curled up in a nook. She was rocking herself, chanting in her mind, "it's ok. They all will take time to like you."

 Away, from everyone& everything, she felt better.

When Paul found her, he dragged her outside and pushed her inside the car. He drove the car at high speed, that she got scared.

"Paul, please. Slow down, I'm scared. "

"Shut up, shut up. .... it's all your fault. I was f.u.c.k.i.n.g looking out for you, but you just disappeared. Why did you do this to humiliate me, it was f.u.c.k.i.n.g so embarrassing, that I don't know where my wife went?"

Rishika was sobbing hard, not because she was scared, but because she again let him down. When they reached home, she tries to talk with Paul, but he was ignoring her. That's what he does, instead of raising hands on her, he treats her with his silence. He started punishing her with silence.

This silence kills Rishika from internally. She felt guilty again for upsetting him.

Flashback ends...

Paul wiped the tears from his eyes, when he recalled how he humiliated her & made fun of her in front of some friends, for using the vibrator. Questioning on her life choices, mocking at her in public places, He was destroying her self esteem by telling her how worthless she is & continued with his mind games.

He manipulated her after abusing her verbally, & then he would shower her with love & gifts, which allow her to forget the pain. But again while showering his love on her, he blames her for his behavior. It confuses her.

Paul again pecked her forehead and whispered, "Good night, Rishika". He went the opposite side of the bed and slept

.....

The game he thought he would win, he lost terribly. Whereas Rishika never achieved anything in her life, but this is the only thing she was proud of. Because she can see, she is becoming best.

But in truth, Shreya(Rishika), was not trying to be the best, or perfect. She was focused on being irreplaceable.

She was afraid like her family replaced her with Avantika, Paul would also replace her by bringing back Shreya.

To become Shreya she was fighting with herself for him. Even when she has become Shreya, a battle is still going on inside her.

She has now become submissive to Paul. And she is happy with that. Her appearance, the behavior is changed.

Just to make him happy, Shreya abandoned herself(Rishika), just like everyone did with her.

Now she is Shreya. Paul's Shreya.

But does Paul want this Shreya?

...

Hey guys,  this chapter is like a  filler. So that you can understand 'Shreya'. There are no incidents, mainly narration. If you didn't get anything do tell me & I'll try to clear your doubts.

I can not make every chapter intense. Though, I'm trying very hard by editing.

But some chapters will be filler, to cover up the gap.

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