Tragic Heroine

A girl rested on a bed of flowers in the fetal position, her emerald hair laying spread out along the grass. The garden’s denizens welcomed her with soft caresses, perhaps guided by the desire of Lorien’s first queen to comfort her from even beyond death. Her chest rose and fell in slow breaths. A nostalgic floral scent salvaged memories from the darkness of her mind. She silently slept. 

They lied on the grass together, and it felt cool on their backs. Ilias saw Her face, glowing from sunlight that bled through trees. Green eyes looked back at her, and a smile bloomed on them both. 

The world barely accounted for her presence. She was light and ethereal, like someone who had gotten quietly lost in a dream. Like a ghost –a lost spirit cursed to forever bear their lingering attachments and regrets.

But that was Ilias Chaernenbolg. The exile. The wanderer. 

In her hands was a plucked stem of multiple dainty flowers, each one adorned with five petals the color of a true blue sky embracing freedom. Amphitrite too, had once fought for those ideals. Ilias enjoyed reliving those fond memories. The garden housed many of them.

“I didn’t think you of all people would have this kind of hobby.” she teased the woman watering plants beside her.

“Hush. Ever heard of a warrior in a garden?”

“Well, they do look pretty.” Ilias’s compliment made her companion giggle.

“These here,” Amphitrite pointed to a cluster of blue flowers. “Mean true love, faith, and remembrance.” Her smile was lovely.

“What’re they called?”

“I’ll tell you if you go till the soil over there,” the woman said.

Were they friends? Lovers? Or something else? Ilias couldn’t rightly remember. As countless years went by, even her honed mind saw wear from the passage of time. A single name stayed with her, as well as a solemn duty. Amphitrite Rex. Her Amphy, whose soul was kept safe in this garden. No one, not the devils, the gods, or even the world itself would lay claim to her spirit.

Ilias knew, of course, that Amphitrite had meant for the Domain to act as protection for her as well. The wards and illusions acted as a convenient shroud from the rest of the world. She clutched the sleeves of her robes, gleaming with hundreds of complex enchantments that bound the garment to the wearer. A symbol of her banishment. A burden that Amphitrite sought many ways to relieve her of, to no avail.

Now, with her Amphy gone, her task was to protect them both. She stayed true to it for hundreds of years, raising entire illusory armies to defend Lorien’s ancient secret, standing watchful guard until the day she welcomed a girl named Christiana into the Domain. Along with her not-so-welcome friend.

There was movement, a disturbance in the area outside. The girl stirred. She groggily lifted a hand, thinking it to be some wayward creature that wandered too far from home. A thread of mana pulled taught around her finger. Her eyes widened. On the edge of the Domain, a person with a familiar aura navigated through a delicate weave of spacial alarms that alerted her.

She stood up in a hurry and pulled back the Domain’s mechanisms. This one had already been tested. A worthy descendant. It wouldn’t do to be rude to her visitor. As she thought this, a stray illusory darkspawn escaped. 

“Ah.”

It immediately attacked whoever just entered.

“She’ll be ok, right?” She sat down and began to channel her mana, distorting the fabric of space around the garden. 

_______________________________________

Chris saw the monstrosity trailing behind her and quickened her pace.

Just another normal day for me I guess. She leapt over a fallen ironwood branch that was large enough to be a log. Looking around, there appeared to be no escape from this sudden pursuit. 

[To think that the forest’s grown this well…] Amphitrite said absentmindedly. 

You seem surprised that the trees are still alive, but these things are freaking indestructible. She saw firsthand how strong ironwood bark really was. On the other hand, for a being as strong as Lorien’s first queen it would have been as easy to break as a toothpick.

As she pondered this midstride, time slowed to a halt.

The world around her froze, and a familiar feeling settled on her back. Space shattered into motes of fading light and dazzling mana. A lavender road slowly paved itself in front of her. As she adjusted to the wonderland in front of her, complete with a myriad of colors that almost blinded her senses, a voice called out enthusiastically. 

“Welcome back!” The little demon waved at her, a shark toothed smile plastered on the girl’s face. Her robes, pristine as ever, still dragged on behind her.

“Christiana, was it? You’ve returned, and I see that the idiot dog isn’t with you. Wonderful! I prepared some refreshments for our meeting. Come and see.” she snapped her fingers. This time, the princess wasn’t as surprised to find herself suddenly seated near a round table. She was, however, intrigued to find a pitcher and a set of drinking glasses laid upon the top. 

“You can just call me Chris,” she said. Ilias quirked a brow. 

“Isn’t that a bit too simple?”

You aren’t the first one to say that, she thought wryly.

“Are you interested in a drink? It’s nothing much, but it should suffice for our conversation today.” Ilias blinked to a sitting position using the same magic she used to transport her guest. She poured some of the pitcher’s contents for each of them, and twirled her finger to materialize shavings of ice. There was a faint herbal, floral scent coming from the liquid, which appeared slightly yellow. “This is a tea that I learned to make a long, long time ago. Try it, don’t be shy.” She took a swig.

Chris, despite her reservations, took a cautious sip anyway. Her eyes grew wide, and before she could spew it out she forced the tea down in one large gulp. She set her cup down, wondering if more than a month of royal dining had affected her sense of taste. 

[It isn’t you, believe me.] Amphitrite said. 

[Don’t reject your host’s hospitality.] Raisendel warned in a grave voice. She shuddered. 

“Um, hello again.” Chris greeted the beaming girl who sat across from her. “I see that you’re uh, still taking care of the place.”

“It isn’t hard, I sleep most of the time around here anyway.” Ilias said. “Now, enough with the pleasantries. I see you’ve grown since the last time we’ve met. And in more ways than one.” she smirked in a way entirely unfit for her young visage. Chris shied away from the ancient demon’s inspecting gaze.

“Your mana feels more substantial now.” 

Oh. She meant that.

Ilias squinted. “But not quite whole, I can’t feel anything that’s distinctly ‘you’ from your aura.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a jumble of different emotions and elements. A complete mess, almost sickening.” The girl paused in her explanation. “From your expression, it looks like you’ve already got some idea of the problem you’re facing.”

“What else do you see? What’s happening to me?” Chris leaned in, her expression growing into a frown. Ilias nodded. She brushed her long hair aside, and her eyes glowed in a near crimson light.

“Something within you wants bloodshed. It sleeps, having been sealed away. But its anger is boundless. Several other auras counter it in a fragile balance. But should you enter a moment of weakness, then…”

“What will happen? Please tell me.” 

“Meh, no clue.” Ilias shrugged nonchalantly, causing the girl sitting opposite to do a spit take. “Don’t really know. I’ve never seen anything like this before. For now, just try not to get too violent. And keep your emotions in control.”

[Affirmative. Host, would you like to access tutorials on anger management?]

No, that’s probably another scam. The System hadn’t been proving to be very useful lately. In fact, it seemed fully intent on letting her weather her predicament by her lonesome. 

[It is better for the host to triumph over important obstacles by themselves, with direct assistance from the System kept at a minimum.]

And why is that?

[The acting administrator proposes two reasons. One, any direct action would conflict too much with the Will of the World, which has reluctantly accepted the host’s entry. Two, seeing the host struggle provides, as stated before, wonderful entertainment value.]

Screw you.

“What do you know about dragons?” Chris asked, remembering that the dragon spirit in her mind might be related to her current issues. That seemed to peak the other girl’s attention. Her eyes lit up with curiosity.  

“Now that’s something I didn’t expect you to ask. Most who see a dragon up close don’t really live to tell the tale. And I’m guessing that those lizards, along with every other race, have long since disappeared.” Ilias stroked her chin in thought, giving a look towards the inquisitive girl. “Don’t ask why. Even if I knew anything about what happened, I wouldn’t tell you. Some secrets are better left known only to the heavens.”

“It’s said that the dragons of old were the gods’ agents of destruction. Their existence predates most of the known races. Their origin, a mystery. They are beings that live only for war, assuming the duty of fending off monstrous creatures from other planes that lust after this world’s mana. The draconic armies alone managed to fight the…” She coughed into her hand. “...rebellious Demon God and his followers to a standstill.” 

“I’ve only ever seen them from afar, and I’ll just say that the legends don’t even live up to the real thing,” she added, her tone implying that it was an encounter she didn’t wish to relive.  

“Ever heard of one called…” Chris paused, having forgotten her dragon spirit’s long ass name some time ago.

[I believe the beast introduced himself as “Loch Segrios Gaoth Aldinn”.] Raisendel inputted.

Thanks. She repeated the name out loud. Ilias froze. Her eyes widened in realization. 

“Don’t say its name aloud! How do you even know its– did you? With a dragon? What kind of– no, err, never mind. I won’t pry. But to answer your question, I don’t know of such a being. The draconic culture practices a certain… tradition, with how each individual receives their names. That’s about all I know.” She sighed, her eyes dimming with faint confusion. “I guess the world’s changed a lot since I last roamed it, if weaklings like you can become acquainted with a true dragon.” She looked back. “No offense.”

“Sure, none taken.” Compared to old monsters like the demon girl in front of her, Chris knew that she didn’t really stand a chance. “Do you know how I can get stronger then?”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about strength right now if I were you.” Ilias replied with a knowing smile.

“...Why’s that?”

“Don’t worry too much about it, princess! I’m sure that your scarred halves will reconcile at some point, but until then I’ll tell you this.” She stared straight into the young girl’s tense expression. “You just have to live. Follow your heart, and forge your Will so that it will never be broken. Power comes to those who stay true to their calling.” Ilias smiled warmly. 

“Since Amphy chose to let you in here, I think that you’ll be alright. Believe in yourself. Believe in what you do. Believe in others. Or don’t, and instead fall into despair. Whatever the case, your path will come naturally.”

Sounds like a cheesy motivational speech, Chris felt obligated to say. She saw that Ilias was looking expectantly at her for her next question, so she obliged.

“How about a tour of this place?” she gestured towards the open expanse of fantastical nature all around them. A wide grin split the demon girl’s face.

“I never thought you’d ask! Come, let me show you around. It’s been too long since the last time I showed the garden to someone.”

“Who was the last one?”

“An unwelcome visitor.” Ilias pursed her lips, not willing to reveal much else. They started walking, the guide identifying plants of interest to her attentive audience one by one.

“Carnations, camellias, daisies, chrysanthemums.” She pointed towards a red patch in the distance. “Those are roses that she grew for me. Amphy, I mean.” Chris nodded her head in acknowledgement, trying her best to keep her expression from slipping. 

What was your relationship with Ilias, again? She sent the thought inwards.

[Guh.] Amphitrite said nothing, although her silence betrayed a simple answer. That, and the blush that was growing on her face. [This garden, this Domain, it was once a part of my soul. I thought it would be… meaningful… to dedicate these parts of myself to her.]

No, don’t be embarrassed, Chris sent back. I think it’s kind of… cute. 

As she walked on with the demon girl, her soulscape’s resident queen started to reminisce after a period of silence. 

[I resisted the call of Reincarnation, and formed a Domain with my last breaths, so that my spirit would continue to exist in the mortal plane.]

Why?

[I didn’t want to leave her alone. No, maybe I was just selfish. Too scared to see whatever afterlife awaited someone like me. Too anxious to see what would become of my people. Or maybe, I just wanted to be with her. With Ilias. But if I wanted to protect her, I wouldn’t put her in a gilded cage like this. I was a fool.] Amphitrite’s voice sounded weaker and weaker. 

[And I still am a fool.] Her last words were filled with self blame.

“...” Chris listened in silence, occasionally paying attention towards Ilias’s back. Her green hair dragged on the ground with her white robes, like time found its own ways to take its toll from the unaging being.

[For you to be here, for Lorien to be alive, after all this time, it’s a miracle.]

Thank you. 

They continued walking along the lavender road until they arrived at a place filled with clusters of small blue flowers. Ilias bent down to pluck one out. Its petals fluttered. 

“Amphy always loved her garden. I couldn’t bear to see it wither away.” Ilias said in a tone tinged with melancholy. “Her spirit resides here, in the heart of her homeland.” She twirled the stem in her hand, pausing for a moment. “...I still think she’s here, keeping watch over me. That small comfort’s keeping most of the loneliness at bay.”

“Well,” she winked at her conversation partner. “That, and long naps.”

Chris looked towards Ilias, who’d talked about her relationship with her ancestor with enough familiarity that they could have been soul mates in the distant past. 

How much dedication did it take to accompany the spirit of a person important to her, generations and even centuries after their passing? To literally live on the site of their graves each day, knowing that she may never see Amphitrite Rex again?

A flash of tenderness pulled at her heartstrings, coming from the two halves of her soul. Both Larry and Christiana had felt the pain of isolation in their past lives. Christiana especially,was no stranger to the feeling of loss. 

She couldn’t imagine the loneliness that Ilias faced, tending to this brightly lit garden by herself all these years.

“You…”

“What?”

“Why did you stay here, in this place? For so long?” Chris asked the question that was nagging her mind the entire time. Amphitrite tasked her with getting Ilias to leave as well, so it wouldn’t hurt to get a better understanding of the strange girl first. 

“There’s a whole wide world outside of this Domain,” she said. “How about going out sometime? To see everything. As you’ve said, a lot has changed. Wouldn’t you like to explore it all?” 

There was a moment of silence. Their walking pace slowed, until they drew to a complete stop. Ilias frowned, weariness seeping into her demeanor. She turned around, looking up into the princess’s, no, Chris’s, eyes. Studying them. 

“I’ve lost my appreciation for the world a long, long time ago.”

What?

[No… Ilias, don’t say that.]

Amphitrite.

She blurted out a question that she hadn’t meant to ask. 

“Are you ok?” 

Ilias opened her eyes halfway. They shook almost imperceptibly with a vulnerability that had long been hidden away, before steeling themselves into something that was cold and dead.

“Why do you ask?”

“I–”

“I didn’t pry into your affairs. So I ask that you don’t pry into mine.” She turned away. “ Our conversation has been enjoyable. But don’t make me regret letting you in. I can always throw you back out.” She raised a hand in warning, magic thrumming and space seeming to distort around it.

“Please, all I want to do is help.”

“Really?” Ilias stopped. “I invited you, yes. But you’re overstepping your bounds now as a guest.” She started to exude an aura of intimidation.

“Can we just talk?

“Talk?” The demon stepped forward. “What talk? A human girl like you, barely past your first decade of age, telling me how to live?”

“No. Nothing like that, I just–”

“Leave me be.”

“Please,” she muttered.

“Leave. Me. Alone.” The demon repeated one last time.

“Do you think,” Chris asked, trying to ignore the immense pressure. “that Amphitrite would have wanted to see you like this?”

“You know nothing!” Ilias hissed.

Chris raised her arm, trying to reach out. Space shattered into millions of pieces around them. She could feel the surrounding mana rejecting her, pulling her out. 

“Ilias!” Her cry fell on deaf ears. The last thing she saw before the illusion collapsed around her was a pair of red eyes glowing with a thinly veiled threat. Warning her to not return.

She collapsed back in the ironwood forest in Lorien, the sun now releasing its last light on the horizon. 

[Christiana… It's not your fault. We’ll give her some space.]

“No,” Chris rose off the dirt. “She’s had space for almost as much time as this kingdom has existed. Ilias is running away.”

Just like I did.

“We’ll come back tomorrow.” 

Am I making the right choice?

She remembered her other self’s words to her.

“Don’t let the phantoms of your past bind you. They may form a part of who you are, they may decide who you wish to become, but they must never be obstacles in your path,” She whispered the words to herself like a prayer.

Chris breathed in, and started back home.

“I don’t feel right just leaving her alone.”

_______________________________________

 

Ilias released a heavy sigh, the road, table, and pitchers dissolving into bits of light in the air.

She tread the grass, which now pricked her feet, and kneeled. There was no wind, and the Domain’s artificial light was gradually being eclipsed by gray clouds. She clenched her fists and went into meditation, trying to calm down her raging emotions. But the memories surfaced anyway. The ones that she thought she’d drowned away all those years ago, perhaps waiting for a moment like this to haunt her once more.

Rough, armored hands gripped her arm. A large body, adorned with crude black armor, dragged her battered body out into the cold air. The chains on her limbs clanked noisily.

Ilias saw her clan’s mountains piercing the skies with their jagged forms. They were never her home, and now they never will be. 

There was a crowd, but there was no jeering. They watched silently, not with pity but with disdain. Some gazed at her with the eyes of a predator watching prey. Then, out of their mass came a man. He stared at her with cold, uncaring red eyes, a helmet cradled in his arms. It’s front was carved into an angry visage. Green hair hung from his head. He was never her family, and now he will never be.

The man motioned for another guard to move forward. The peon moved with clumsy, loud footsteps. In its arms was a splendid, almost shockingly beautiful set of white robes. Their surface shone with numerous enchantments.

He stepped up to her as the guards stripped her bare. Cruel winds assailed Ilias with abandon, stinging her wounds. The brand still hung fresh and raw on her back. She kept eye contact, trying to piece out anything in those depthless orbs. Nothing was reflected in them, as there was never room for her in his heart to begin with. No love, and certainly no mercy in what would follow. 

The guards finished dressing her. Blood leaked out of new wounds on her body, resulting from their rough handling. The white cloak stayed unmarred, now fully merged with her skin. 

“Ilias Chaernenbolg,” the man spoke. “You have committed unforgivable sins against our god, and against our people.” He walked up, standing directly in front of her before spreading his arms out. “To all of our clan gathered here, your time of revenge has come.”

There was no cheering, only predatory grins as they waited. Patiently so, for their Hunt to commence. 

They were people with whom she’d once walked the same halls, with whom she’d shared cold meals and unhinged fights. Their eyes now glowed, etching the mana imbued in the robes into their minds. To Ilias, they appeared to grow into monstrous shadows without form, the crimson light of their gaze piercing into her from all sides.

Her brother leaned in to whisper his last message to her.

“There will be no quiet place for you in this world anymore. No peace. No home. No reprieve. No salvation, only… ” For once, he smiled at her. But it was cruel, malicious, and almost insane with anticipation for her suffering. “Eternal torment.”

He stood up, spreading his arms out wide as the guards unlinked her chains, freeing her limbs and magic.

“My brethren! Your Hunt begins at last!”

Joyous laughs and giggles rang out. Magic of all kinds, from searing flames to crushing earth and frigid ice, formed and charged the air with chaotic mana. Ilias felt the skin on her back prickle. Her instincts called on her to flee.

And flee, she did. Space warped around her, the void embraced the lone girl and ushered her into its welcoming coldness. Ilias blinked out of existence and appeared at the bottom of the mountain. 

Loud cackling could be heard from the peak. Dark forms began to approach her at frightening speeds. Howls of excitement. Almost palpable bloodlust. At the top of it all, she saw her brother, standing triumphantly with the light of the sun shining harsh and bright against his back, shouting at her with a mocking voice.

“Run! Run, little Ilias! Struggle! Flee for your life, flee for all of time! We will find you, and we will savor every drop of blood, every pained look, and every last scream that rings out from your husk!”

Ilias tried to ignore him. Tried to block out everything around her. Her only goal, inspired by primal fear and terror, was to do as he said. Run.

And so she ran. Into distant lands. Into the nothingness that lay beyond the fog. 

On.

And on.

And on.