Tragic Heroine

Larry’s dreams were once more shrouded in formless void.

He was fearful the first time his consciousness was pulled into this constantly shifting and dark dimension, where all his senses and emotions were unnaturally dulled.

Now, however, he welcomed the soothing numbness that suffused throughout his soul, returning his chaotic mind back into a blank slate.

Wrapped in a blissful blanket of indifference, Larry slept. For now, at least, all his pain had vanished into oblivion. 

A monotone voice abruptly broke his peace.

 

Reinitiating assimilation sequence...

55%...64% complete 

 

A sense of deja-vu rose within him as the darkness tore away to reveal familiar scenery. He found himself on a cliffside surrounded by an endless ocean. The setting sun dyed the sky in the colors of dusk; reds, oranges and purples cascaded across the clouds. Its waning rays glistened off the darkening waters below. On the cool grass sat a girl he already met once in this surreal landscape, Christiana Lapis Lorien. Her long blue hair cascaded below her waist, pooling on the ground below. Her gaze was directed towards a faraway place in the sky. Unlike the bubbly personality from when he last saw her, she strangely looked more forlorn.

Sensing Larry’s presence, she turned to face the image of her younger self, smiling as she did so, and greeted him with a wave of her hand..

“I don’t dislike the new look. It’s very charming.” Her voice was drenched in mirth. Larry fought back the urge to remark that she was basically complimenting herself in praising her younger form. He also felt incredibly awkward at being reminded yet again that he was in the body of a young girl. 

She motioned towards the grass beside her, beckoning him to sit. He hesitated, and then accepted her invitation, situating himself next to her. From afar, the two would have looked like sisters enjoying the view of the sunset together, forming a picturesque scene complimented by the sounds of frolicking waves beneath them. 

They sat there for a while, none of them saying a word, only observing the horizon as the sun disappeared below the edge of the world, its light slowly receding from view. 

“It’s been a day since we last met, hasn’t it?” Christiana was the first to break the silence. “We didn’t have much time to catch up before, but right now is a good chance for you to ask questions if you have any. You can tell me all about your first day after.”

Larry nodded, thankful for this opportunity to obtain more information. He jogged through his memory, recalling everything he experienced since waking up in this world. According to the Heroine Creation System, an unknown entity brought him into the world of the novel he was reading on a whim, dropping his soul into the body of a younger version of Christiana. Now,he had two missions: fulfilling his own OTP between the novel’s protagonists, and living past Christiana’s natural lifespan while he possessed her body. Both of them were daunting, albeit for wildly different reasons. 

Needless to say, he still had many questions, even after his interrogation of the System. He started off by asking the most obvious of them. 

“What is this place, and why am I meeting you here?” Hearing his inquiry, Christiana thoughtfully crossed her arms as she pondered her answers.

“When I was dying and my consciousness began to fall into oblivion, I found myself brought to a place filled with darkness, feeling as if my body was being gradually swallowed up. I’m sure you are familiar with it by now.” Larry nodded, it was the constantly shifting void he found himself in every time he went to sleep so far.

“A voice spoke to me from within that darkness, that I still had a purpose to fulfill. To guide you, who would soon arrive to take up my mantle. Before my soul could rest, I must complete my duties. Frustrating it may be, but you and I are both helpless in this plot.” This intrigued him. When she mentioned a voice, was she talking about the System? But something told him that there was more to it than that. 

“As for what this place is exactly, it would be better to say that this is an area made by that being to hasten the assimilation between you and I, a hibernation state made to facilitate the two of us meeting.” Christiana explained. “Originally, your soul was supposed to merge with a part of mine when you took over my body, giving you fragments of my will, memories and experiences. This would have allowed your seamless transition into Irudeia.”

“However, your soul being foreign to this world led to some complications during the assimilation process, making it dangerous to continue further without the proper precautions. Hence, why the two of us are meeting each other now to finish the job.”

 

Multiple emotions boiled up from within Larry as he listened.

He was terrified at the prospect of losing his sense of self, his own identity, in the process of assimilation. However much he hated himself, he still feared losing his autonomy and having his soul be supplanted by another, to not even be aware as his body and mind slowly warped into those of someone else entirely. Surely, Christiana feared the same outcome. But, as she said, they didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. They were both pawns in someone else’s game. 

At the same time he felt regret and guilt, for if he never made such a foolish and immature wish to begin with, then he wouldn’t be in this situation, and Christiana would have been allowed to pass on. 

“What’s going to happen to you and me? Will we meet again?” 

“I can’t say for sure what will happen to you. It all depends on chance, as well as how much of yourself you are willing to let go. You might change into someone you barely recognize. Whether you have the courage to accept such change and move forward is another question entirely.”

“Although, something tells me you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t meant to change something. Whether it be my or your fate, someone elses or that of the whole world, who knows?”

“As for me, right now I’m just a withering soul stuck inside your head, formed from whatever remained of my consciousness from when I died. All I am is an echo of the person who was Christiana Lorien. Once I’ve fulfilled my purpose for being here, I’ll disappear, with only these memories that made me who I was being left within you.” 

That didn’t make him feel any better; it instead made him feel even worse. Knowing that Christiana would soon be long gone affirmed his fears that he was meant to replace her in this world, to become an inferior stand-in after all traces of her had died. 

“Larry” didn’t have the qualifications to fill that role. He was scared that he would once again fail to meet the expectations of someone who wholeheartedly supported him. Seeing the apprehension on his face, Christiana tried to ease his worries.

“It will be alright. You don’t have to worry too much about everything, I’m sure that you will be able to live well.”

“You… why do you seem so calm?”

“Hmm?”

“Once you disappear, it would mean that I’ve stolen your place in this world, taken the love your family has for you as my own. Don’t you feel angry knowing that someone like me is masquerading as you, fooling everyone into giving him something that should be rightfully yours?”

“I don’t.”

“What?”

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to see them again, but it can’t be helped that circumstances do not allow for it.” She said nonchalantly. “I believe that fate was not mistaken, allowing the two of us to meet at this moment. You don’t have to be concerned with filling my shoes, I’m sure you will succeed in treading your own path that will shine brighter than all others.”

Even in this dreamscape that dulled his emotions, he still felt a spike of irritation at her irresponsible words. 

“Don’t give me that shit.” he snapped.

“Stop telling me that I can be someone great; I know more so than anyone else that that’s not true.”

“How? How am I like you, who is talented, who is loved, who is blessed with everything?!” A dam of seething anger had opened up within him.

 “How can you understand what it’s like to be me? To live while being weighed down by buried hopes and dreams? To be compared to others your entire life, to fail in everything you do, and to be ridiculed for it?”

No matter how hard he tried in his previous life, he had always failed to catch up to those around him. He was mocked by his classmates and his teachers. Even his family no longer supported him, instead diverting their focus to his older siblings. 

At some point he gave up. There was no point in trying harder; those words had long lost their meaning to him. What was the point if all his efforts only led to failure?

This was why he raged at Christiana. For her, who was loved and supported by all, progress seemed to come without any hardship. She was the heroine who stood by the protagonist in the novel. It didn’t make sense for her to think that they were the same.

He expected her to recoil at his outburst, to give up on talking to him and walk away just as others have done. 

Slender arms wrapped around his frame. Due to the difference in stature, his entire body became enveloped in warmth.

Larry looked Christiana in the eyes. He didn’t see contempt or pity in them. He became lost in the glowing blue-green orbs that stared back, and was captivated by her mien which held nothing but compassion and sincerity. 

His body, which had long adapted to indifference and disdain from his surroundings, stiffened in confusion. When was the last time that anyone ever looked at him in that way, even after he revealed his inner ugliness? 

From this girl he barely knew, a fragment of a soul lingering in his dreams, he was receiving goodwill directed towards no one but him.

 A gentle voice whispered soothingly into his ear.

“I’m not going to tell you that I empathize with you. I’m sure that I do not understand any of the pain you have gone through. We are of entirely different worlds, after all.”

“However, that doesn't mean I don’t wish to help you.”

“Whoever you were before, that person does not exist here. Don’t let the phantoms of your past bind you. They may form a part of who you are, they may decide who you wish to become, but they must never be obstacles in your path.”

“Let me be your strength. Whatever my body, name, memories and lifetime can offer you, let them be yours, so that you can walk proudly on the path you forge in Irudeia. ”

“Do what you must do, Larry Chrysler. Although, that may soon no longer be the name you wish to call yourself as.” She gave a knowing, playful smirk. 

He didn’t know for how long he held her gaze, but the moment seemed to stretch into eternity. Christiana’s face drew closer until he could see nothing else but her.

“I enjoyed talking to you.”

“This is goodbye. I wish you happiness.”

Her warm forehead touched his, and his vision became swallowed up in a sea of light and stars.