Try Begging

‘The boy’s father died?’

Grace was confused. What should she do? What should she feel? No action, no emotion, was right in this situation.

While holding on to the balcony railing until her hands hurt, the conversation between adults continued.

“By the way, didn’t his son say he saw Angie?”

When uncle Dave asked her mother, Grace was taken aback. Had her mother told the other adults that she had played with the boy? Was she getting scolded now?

“I should have dealt with that guy as well…”

When she thought she might get scolded, her nervous heart sank this time.

‘…Leon is nice. Don’t kill him, uncle.’

However, the words did not come off the tip of her tongue. Her mother glanced down at Grace, who was looking up at the adults with frightened eyes, then shook her head at uncle Dave.

“He couldn’t see my face. Besides, he’s still a kid.”

Second-class passengers didn’t get suspected of killing people.

Returning to the rented sleeper, where her father sighed as it was over budget, Grace lay upstairs, staring blankly at the ceiling. Her mother, who shared the same compartment, suddenly reached her hand up.

“If you don’t have an appetite, eat this at least.”

Saying so, in her hand was a box of expensive chocolates.

She saw her mother buy it on the way past the dining car a moment ago though Grace didn’t know her mother was going to give it to her. When she came to Abbington Beach, she was excited about the train journey and waited only for the time to go to the dining car, but today she skipped breakfast.

Grace took the box of chocolates, stared at them, then stood up.

“Mo, mother.”

“What’s wrong?”

“When I grow up…”

“Yes.”

“Do I have to kill that boy with my own hands?”

Grace was still confused. She didn’t understand the situation at all. She didn’t even know what emotions she was supposed to feel.

However, one thing was clear.

…I don’t want to kill him.

“Grace… .”

Her mother called her name instead of answering her and got herself up to the bed. It was the first time Grace had ever seen a person who had always been omnipotent, like a god, look like she was about to cry.

“Come here.”

Besides, it was her first time hugging her. It was awkward. Lying next to her mother in the same bed, Grace held her breath.

She smelled of perfume, which she had always faintly smelled.

‘My mother’s smell…’

Soon, it felt cozy rather than awkward. Her mother, who was hard on Grace, even embraced her and gave her chocolate… Birthdays and Christmas weren’t as happy as it is now.

Aren’t you going to sleep?

Her mother muttered as she patted Grace on the back affectionately.

“I should have sent her to the orphanage…”

Her world collapsed.

She knew that when a person was in extreme shock, they didn’t even cry. Sometimes at night, when her parents were arguing, she pulled the covers over herself in the room next to her and heard her mother cry out.

“That’s why I said to send her to an orphanage!”

She still didn’t know it was about her… No, perhaps she tried to deny it. Little Grace subconsciously felt that neither her father nor her mother loved me. Nonetheless, from that day on, she could no longer deny that she was a being who could be abandoned at any time.

As soon as she returned home, she caught a bad summer cold.

“I will kill him… Don’t throw me away…”

Her parents left home right away for another mission. Her brother was the only person who stayed by Grace, who babbled nonsense while suffering from a high fever.

“What happened there? Huh? Grace, tell me.”

Her brother asked in frustration, but Grace kept her mouth shut.

‘They say I’m hesitant to kill the enemy and want to throw me away because I’m a lousy revolutionary army.’

If she said such a thing, even her brother might abandon her as well. The magazine Jimmy gave her to help her get better wasn’t helpful at all.

[ Major Richard Winston’s funeral held amid national mourning ]

Tragedy in the Winston family. The execution of key rebel figures coincided with the funeral. The eldest son of Major Winston, who follows in the footsteps of his father, who died an honorable death, carried on the fight to wipe out rebels.

Flipping through the text that made her head spin, she threw down the magazine. As the magazine fell to the floor and opened, Grace screamed. In the black-and-white photo that took up a page, the boy was staring straight at Grace.

‘…You tricked me. You killed my father. I liked you, how could you do this to me?’

“No. It’s not my fault. Don’t look at me like that!”

That boy’s father deserved to die… He must be a bad boy, too. All the dirty monarchy pigs are the same.
If she didn’t believe that the boy was bad, she had to believe that her parents were bad instead.

To Grace, her parents were gods. Hell was the only place for souls abandoned by God to go.

“We promise to make everyone’s life equal and prosperous… for the sake of the cause… for the sake of the cause… That utopia feeds on the blood of the revolutionary army and grows and bears fruit…fruit…”

The teachings of the village elders greatly helped Grace deceive herself.
They had lived as a devoted revolutionary army in line with the cause they speak of. Her mother, who wanted to abandon her, couldn’t help but be proud of her. And, to hide past mistakes of falling in love with an enemy…

It was a secret she hadn’t told anyone until she was ordered to infiltrate Winston.

“A new maid?”

“Yes. Nice to meet you, Captain. My name is Sally Bristol. I was assigned to the annex this time.”

The boy she met again as an adult was a very different person.

“Now we have one more person, I can turn the torture chamber into a sea of ​​blood to my heart’s content.”

…A bloodthirsty demon.

She no longer had to fool herself. It was easy to hate the boy who had become a bad person, just like the words she had memorized, like a mantra.

The boy, like the girl, had risen from hatred.

“Everyone will….going to die…”

The day he fell in love for the first time and the day he lost his heart, he lost his father, who was the only one on his side, terribly. It was a tragedy that even an adult could not handle thuogh now, in a house without his side, no one was interested in the shock the boy received.

“Since you are the eldest son, you will follow in your father’s footsteps…”

“You have to take revenge on behalf of your father…”

The boy, like the girl, suffered from guilt that was not supposed to be his part. Perhaps, he could have prevented his father’s death. At that time, he should have stopped his father and gone home with him…

That woman in the passenger seat was a rebel. After learning the woman’s identity, Leon developed a habit of observing blonde women closely.

‘If caught, I will kill you. I’ll have you pay the same for what you did to father.’

Eventually, he came to hate all blonde women. And that hatred soon spread to all women.

…All women were beasts. They were cunning snakes and greedy sows.

“You looked like a prince just a moment ago.”

“Dirty pig!”

Whispering sweet words to seduce men, and when the men were no longer useful, they suddenly change and pour out cruel words.

His mother was no less abominable.

“My husband lost his life while being loyal to the royal family. Still, the price is only a posthumous promotion to lieutenant colonel… How bitter he must be in heaven, how pitiful Leon, who lost his father at a young age and became the head of the household, huhuu…”

Even his father’s death was only a means to obtain a title for his mother.

She pretended to love and respect his father in front of others. After asking for favors here and there, she finally failed to obtain a title and sobbed in front of the nobles and military officials gathered at the funeral.

The tears she had at his father’s death were not a tear shed in sorrow… they were tears of mourning for her, who had been reduced to the titleless ‘Widowed Lady Winston.’

‘…Did my father die for this?’

As he stabbed the awl, red liquid spurted out and soaked his hand. He was strangely not disgusted.

Leon took a deep breath.

It felt like the sharp smell of his blood filled his lungs and penetrated his brain. Strangely, when he smelled his blood, the anxiety that had plagued him all day disappeared. The more this happened, the more his father’s cruel last look, which did not disappear even if he closed his eyes or opened his eyes, became more and more dull.

Soon, birds and rats began to be found dead every day in miserable conditions in Winston’s residence, Mrs. Winston sent her eldest son to the military academy several years early.

It was fortunate that he attended the military academy where cruelty was a virtue. Despite committing countless things that would have made him feel expelled at a normal school, Leon graduated at the top of his class.

The “Vampire of Camden,” a notoriety reserved for serial killers, was an honor for a military officer.

People said he was a born soldier, but Leon knew it… He knew he was a monster. Not only that but people didn’t know this either…

The fact that Captain Winston, who seemed to have nothing to fear, suffered from nightmares.

“Dirty pig!”

The devil that appeared in each of his nightmares gleamed with blue contempt and smelled of blood.