Uchiha's Butterfly

"I hate you! Did Granny drop you on your head when you were an infant or something, Sis?! You sicced a house-sized Kyūbi after a bunch of students?!" A loud rumble sounded from Naruto's belly, "ZIP IT, Furball! Wait, what's wrong with you two ~ttebayo?" he pointed at the smiling like idiots pair.

"I have very grave news, Naru-chan." Kaname led him out of the tent.

"Ye, right. I can see you're barely holding the laughter back."

"You see, I have a parasite inside my body..." she continued, ignoring Utakata's narrowing eyes.

"Wait? WHAT?!"

"It has begun to grow, it will slowly swell up my belly and one day burst out of me. I saw how it always ends up in practice - lots of pain and blood squirting everywhere. Once the freeloader leaves my body, it will demand us to feed and protect it for several years..."

"... You're pregnant!" after a little thought, the blonde boy pointed out, hugging Kaname's waist. "HELL YEAH! Is it a little brother or a little sister ~dattebayo?! I'll be a kickass big brother, you will see! Hahahaha, I love you, Sis!"

"Heh," Kaname tousled the top of his head, "We do not know yet. You will need to wait for it, Naru-chan. You're the first person we talked with. Just don't vaunt it around - I want it to stay a secret."

"Hahaha! You can count on me!"

"We know we can." Utakata joined in, "We have to plan everything with Hokage. Are you coming with us, Naruto?"

The boy looked back at the tent anxiously. "I would like to, but... I need to go back to my friends. They're waiting for me."

'It's the way it always should be.' Kaname smiled, "Go, Naru-chan. We will see each other at home." she winked, lightly pushing the boy towards his peers.

...

As the pair closed in on Konoha's gates, Utakata pulled her to the side and looked straight into her eyes, "I can't even express how joyful I am, Kana-chan... I never experienced the feeling of love, but I'm sure I do love you - You and our baby." Kaname felt Utakata's clasping her waist, "I'm still shellshocked about all of it. You have a little life growing inside of you. The true start of my... our family."

Kaname tried to reply, but Utakata put his finger on her lips, making her heart tighten in her c.h.e.s.t, "Please listen, Kana-chan. Naruto will always be a part of our family, but it's a new life, a-a baby... I still do not know how a hermit-nobody like me was able to get together with someone like you. I mean, it's one of the two greatest things that happened in my entire life. The second one is this day, it easily joined the top position.*Sigh* I just can't believe it's really happening, and... Thank you, Kana-chan. I promise I will cherish you for the rest of my li-."

Kaname silenced him by closing the jinchūriki's mouth with a kiss. She pulled her back with a smile on her face, "You can't even figure why am I dating you? Take a guess." She looked lovingly up at him, with her cheeks brightening up.

'DON'T JUST GAPE AT HER, SAY SOMETHING, YOU MORON!' his slug-friend's voice roared inside his mind.

"Uh," Utakata's shaken his head, pulling his eyes away from her blushing face.

'Silver-tongued as usual, partner.' From the corner of his eye, it looked like Kaname heard Bijū's joke as her smile grew. An awkward silence was interrupted by her half-hidden snort of laughter.

"You like me as well."

"Heh, that's a given. No points for you."

"You like to laugh, Kana-chan. I'm one of your sources of amus.e.m.e.nt."

"*Pft*... Hahahaha. Yep." Kaname unhooked a top button of her shirt, "... Keep going."

"Your family and friends like me, that has to count for something?"

She put two of her fingers on her cheek. After thinking about it for a moment, Kaname shrugged her shoulders and undid another button.

Utakata's eyes were drawn to her unblemished skin below her neck, "You're gorgeous."

"Hahaha. I will not torture you anymore." One of Kaname's fingers went up in a count. "You care about me as much as I care about you. You will support my work and not ask me to stay at home as some kind of housewife. I know we share the same values, the family, and its protection, being our most important aim. You're the only person that knows how weak I truly am." She finished with four fingers up.

"Heh, thanks, but your fourth point is debatable. And the fifth?"

Kaname's hand sneaked behind Utakata's open light-blue kimono, "I like your abs." she smirked, moving her hand downwards.

"Wait!" he caught the arm, "Ugh. I can't, Kana-chan. I mean, we should slow down - I don't want to hurt you or the baby."

"Heh-hahaha. We have some time. Jiji, probably, won't die if he waits a little more. I will teach you what a pregnant woman can and can't do." Kaname pulled Utakata towards the bushes.

------

"*Cough* Hohoho... I believe Duy would call it Youth." the old man laughed out when the two entered his office. Utakata's kimono hanged over his body strapped only by his left arm - the man was lost in his own happy thoughts, dazzled by his last memory. Kaname did not walk away from her previous 'lecture' unscathed - some of the buttons in her shirt were ripped off - exposing her navel, and she walked on her b.a.r.e feet, as her shoes were left somewhere behind deep into the forest. "So, how can I help you two, lovebirds?"

Kaname combed her disheveled hair using her hand, "ANBU out. Yugao-chan can stay." she commanded, pointing out towards the exit with her head. Three seconds later, the doors slammed shut.

"*Grumble* Why the heck are they listening to you and leave their posts? For gods' sake, I'm this village leader!"

"Hehe, I'm sorry, Hokage-sama. It didn't take Kana-chan long to get dirt on everyone in the HQ. She is not someone you want to piss off." A cat-masked ANBU's head poked out from the shadow of the bookshelf.

"Even on you, Cat?" the old man inquired.

"It's... personal, Hokage-sama. I don't want to talk about it." the woman shot back.

"*Sigh*. What is it you want, Kana-chan?" the old man asked tired.

"We talked about the spy in our midst. I don't want Kabuto-chan to feed the truth to our court white pile of sh- *Ehem*. We agreed the snake will acquire only the knowledge of what I want him off. This is something that could easily bite Utakata and me in the a.s.s, Jiji."

"Hmm?"

"Heh," she grinned, "I'm approximately four weeks pregnant." In a blink of an eye, Kaname was caught in a tight hug by her masked friend.

"Wow, gratulations, Kana-chan." Hokage nodded his head, outshouting his squealing bodyguard.

"It's okay, Kitty, let me go, I'm not going anywhere..." Kaname complained.

"Hehe. Good job, Snail-kun!" Yugao gave a thumbs up towards the bewildered man.

"It's always nice to hear such good news, Kana-chan. I'm glad for both of you. Unfortunately, your pregnancy is rather ill-timed - Konoha will need you in ten months."

"The chūnin exams? Just call Jiraya-san back. I will need his expertise. If everything goes as planned, I will not have to be present in the village, Jiji."

"Ugh," the old man g.r.o.a.n.e.d, "You and your secrets will someday put me in my grave."

"Kabuto-chan somehow has an in about the S-rank secrets. I don't want to improvise on the fly at the chūnin exams because my plans leaked out."

"Hey-hey, Kana-chan." Yugao was snapping her fingers in front of Utakata's face, without viable result, "What did you do to him? Your Snail-kun looks like... he saw heaven?"

"Hehe, I may have pampered him a little bit too much." The eyes behind a cat-mask narrowed at Kaname, "... Using five shadow clones."

"*Cough-cough*," the old man choked on the smoke from his pipe.

"Hehe, thanks! I will have to try it myself." Kaname's friend laughed out.

------

[Two months later]

"So how was your first time, Izumi?" The young woman's curly-haired teammate waved her inside an empty hospital room.

"... It just sounded so wrong, Koji-baka. I will fake that I did not hear you."

"Ugh... Now that you say it. How was your experience delivering the baby for the first time, Izumi-chan?"

"As Sensei described before, it was gruesome and bloody. I just don't understand why she insisted I learn everything about childbirth."

"Hmm, you have the Sharingan, Izumi - is Kaname-sensei's stomach bigger?"

"What? You want to ask if she is pregnant?! Then why would she eat only the least healthy products? Something doesn't stick. And no, I did not notice any changes around her body. Anyway, how is our little worm doing?"

"You mean Kabuto? Slippery sob, every single day, he checks if nobody is tailing him. I had to retreat several times already before he noticed me. Once, I put a pile of dog shit on his favorite loop, almost got him... Sensei was right - he uses merchants going north to send his messages. Torune intercepted numerous packages last month - from what we know, Otogakure believes we're unprepared for invasion. I was about to go to the old man to give my report."

[AN: How to check if somebody is tailing you? Answer - go for a loop around a building. If he/she is still behind you, it means you are being followed.]

"Good, go to Hokage. I will have a talk with Sensei."

...

"Yeah?"

"You are overdoing it, Sensei!" Izumi pointed at several instant ramen cups on Kaname's desk, "What is going on?"

"Heh, let's call it a bad month? I had a d.e.s.i.r.e to eat some junk food, is that bad, Izumi-chan?"

"Ugh, you know that eating seven of them before noon is bad for your health." Izumi's Sharingan scanned Kaname's figure, but the girl did not find anything out of place.

"Heh, but they're tasty. Believe me, I need it more than you think so."

"Stop those games, Sensei. If you need help from me or anyone else, I'm sure we will find a way to aid you."

"Thanks, Izumi-chan. I may need your help later." She smiled, pulling out a square white box, "I got myself a delivery - want a donut?"

"GRAAH! Who are you, and what did you do to my Sensei?! Even during our little trip to Mizu, you were running around the place. Now all you do is sit on your ass!" Izumi slapped the donut from Kaname's hand, making the clone puff out of existence.

"*Growl* It was a shadow clone? The entire time? I'm going to kill her!" the Uchiha shouted out, jumping through the window.

...

*Knock-knock-knock-knock* Izumi rapped on her Sensei's front doors.

"It's open, Izumi-chan! I'm in the garden!" Kaname's voice sounded from inside.

The girl quickly ran around the building. She found her teacher calmly doing yoga and stretching her muscles, "Okay, what the f.u.c.k, Kaname-sensei?! You promised you will be there to help me with delivering the baby!"

"For the starters. Hi, Izumi-chan. Secondly, why do you waste food - the donut must have fallen on the floor. It looked tasty," Kaname smirked, stretching her back by making her toes of her left foot touch the back of her head. [Aka.: Scorpion pose]

"Ugh." the student's eyes turned red in an instant, "Drop the obvious henge, Sensei. I can see you're hiding something."

"Heh. You didn't give me enough time to prepare." Kaname laughed out, ditching the transformation. Her tight sportswear expanded around her little bigger-sized belly.

"Tsk... Why didn't you say anything? And which month?"

"It's the third month. I believe in my team, Izumi-chan, but it's supposed to be a secret. During my last month, I will be at the weakest - many mercenaries would want to hunt me down. That's the reason I'm hiding the pregnancy for now."

"Who knows?"

"Heh, an interrogation? Jiji, Utakata, Naru-chan, my mom with brother, and my childhood friend that she was at the time protecting Hokage. Follow me, Izumi-chan. I need to eat something after training."

The two walked to the kitchen, "Take some if you want," Kaname fished out a low-fat yogurt from the fridge.

"Ugh, you got me there, Sensei. Why would you make your clone eat only ramen?" Thinking about it, Izumi got herself a small cup of the dairy. Trying it, she grimaced at the tastelessness of the yogurt.

"Yep, that's why. It does not matter how much your shadow clones are training - they won't help you in raising your muscle mass. But every time they dispel, they send you their experiences and memories."

"Ah! So it doesn't matter if the clones get fat! You're using them to eat tasty food without any repercussions, and they send you back memories of it?... That's cheating!"

Kaname shrugged her shoulders, "Believe me, I was getting ready to blow this entire village up if I ever saw another cup of this tasteless goop. Fortunately, Utakata gave me this idea."

"Hmm. So you need dairy products. Sensei, did you thought of ice creams? They should be much easier to consume."

An uncomfortable silence fell between the two women. Kaname looked at the plastic cup in her hand with hate. The next moment, she threw it outside through the kitchen window, "Shit. I should have talked with you before, Izumi-chan."

"Yeah, you should. Now, where is Utakata?"

"I sent him for a super-duper secret mission to Land of Hot Water."

"Hot springs? Why?"

"Who would have guessed I would leave the safety of the village during the birth? And I always wanted to go there to relax a bit."

"I want to go there as well, Sensei."

"Hahaha. Why do you think I'm preparing you for delivering the baby? You're coming with me, whether you like it or not, Izumi-chan."

"Thanks... Now a trip to hot springs sounds a little like hell."

-----

"Hello, Daimyo-sama." Utakata dipped his head before a leader of Hot Water Country. He was an old man with black eyes and grey hair most prominently shown from his long mustache. The leader of Hot Water Country wore a long-sleeved shirt under a yellow, sleeveless jacket with red trimmings.

"An ANBU from Konohagakure? Hmm, what do you want from Our person?"

"Hokage-sama is asking for a favor. He only requests for you to prepare a place of security for one of his kunoichis for a week. For this, Hokage-sama is willing to rent you my expertise in accomplishing a mission of your choice, Daimyo-sama."

"Interesting. We may indeed require a blade hidden in the dark for a problem of Ours. But first, why would Sarutobi send a kunoichi of his all the way here? Is she dangerous or problematic for him? Who are We guaranteeing here?"

"I'm sorry, Daimyo-sama. I can't say she isn't dangerous, but your beautiful country is one of the best and hidden places for the birth of a new life."

"Oh, so it's that kind of problem. We understand and are willing to protect a young mother."

"Thank you, Daimyo-sama." Utakata bowed once again.

"Before that. There is a group of... unlawful citizens - they started amassing a sizeable wealth selling drugs without paying taxes back to their country. We want them eliminated, and money returned."

'Then pay for some thugs, you moron.' Utakata narrowed his eyes at the Daimyo, "As you wish, may I know, where can I find the group?"

"Not even one of Our debt collectors came back. All We know is the name of their apparent leader, the Spider."

'Squashing a spider for the safety of Kana-chan and my child?' The masked man nodded his head, "I will deal with the problem, Daimyo-sama."

...

Utakata started out by finding out the drug dealers around the largest towns in the country. Jumping around the buildings' rooftops, he soon noticed a shady, frail-looking man selling a small bag of clear white powder to a civilian.

'Perfect.' the jinchūriki jumped into the nearest dark alley and waited for the occasion.

Soon the drug dealer walked alongside the dark alley and noticed an oozy thing around his leg. Looking down, the man discerned a slimy tentacle swirling around it. Before he was able to shout out in panic, he got yanked inside the alley.

"Ugh, where am I?" the man woke up ten minutes later in a dark, damp room hanging upside down from the ceiling. He yelled out in panic when he noticed two bright golden eyes piercing through his own, "What are-"

"I'm the one asking questions," a devil-like voice answered, "What do you know about a man called the Spider?"

"Who? I don't know anything about anyone called that. I'm an ordinary human selling fruits. You must have mistaken me for someone-." a tentacle started climbing down the man's spine.

"Speak the truth, now," Utakata growled out, making his appendage twine around the drug dealer's neck.

"Ugh, wait! I do not know who the Spider is. I'm only a small fry here, but my boss may help you - he is receiving orders from your man."

'Saiken, what do you think?'

'From the smell, I believe he pissed himself, partner. He is scared of you, so it's most likely the truth, but it may also be a trap.'

"Where is your boss?"

"I-I can show you! Just let me go, please."

"No." Utakata squashed his hopes, "You will tell me the location. If it's wrong or a trap, you will die here from choking in your own blood. I doubt your lungs will keep functioning after hanging upside down for more than twenty-four hours."

"I-I can't! If he knew it was me, he would kill my family! Better me than them!" the man shouted out.

'Keep pushing him, partner. He is on the verge.'

"Spider's little cartel will disappear today. Your family will be safe, only if you tell me the location now!"

"... My boss has an office in the bas.e.m.e.nt of the brothel, the Red Dip." The golden eyes vanished in the dark shadows of the room, leaving the man alone.

'Heh, that was almost a sure spot for an illegal drug dealing, partner.'

"Yeah, I know, Saiken. I have too much on my head to think clearly."

'Luckily, you can't be killed.'

"What do you mean?"

'Ha! Kana-chan would have to resurrect and kill you herself if you died in here.'

Somehow the simple thought of it was funny for the jinchūriki as he laughed out loud while running between the rooftops, "Thanks, Saiken... Here we are, the Red Dip."

'Hey-hey, partner. Do you see what I do?'

'Ugh, why, for gods' sake, is Anko waiting in a queue to enter the f.u.c.k.i.n.g brothel?!'

'Go get her, partner. I believe you don't want to fight her.'

"Shit!" Utakata sent out a soap bubble, controlling it until it made a loop the loop right in front of Snake summoner's eyes. Being sure Anko is following it, he made the bubble turn back towards him and pop in the air.

The woman with a saw-like ponytail smirked at the waving Utakata and left the queue.

...

"What's up, Slime? Why are you here? I never expected you would betray Kana-chan's trust. Hehehe, you better run - she will get your arse."

"Ugh. It's not that. I'm hunting for a cartel boss - one of his underlings has a base under this brothel. I was getting ready to assault it when I noticed you. What the heck?"

"What do you mean?! It's one of the best brothels in Elemental Nations! I'm coming here from time to time for some nice dic-."

"Too. Many. Details!" Utakata interrupted her.

"Can you wait for an hour or two, Slimy? I will get my part done, and then you can beat the shit out of everyone else. If I'll be still able to move, I will even help you out. Nothing beats a good bar fight after even better shag!" Anko licked her lips.

"*Sigh* Do as you wish, Anko..."

"Nyahahaha! I always do!"

...

Anko's head peeped over the building front doors three hours later. She waved towards Utakata to come down to her.

'I can't even guess what is going on inside this woman's head!' he complained.

'Me neither partner. But if Anko has an in, it should be much easier to infiltrate the building.'

'*Sigh* I hope you are right, Saiken.'

Utakata took off his mask and walked past the queue.

"And where do you think you are going?" the bouncer stopped him.

"He is with me!" Anko yelled out.

"Ah," the burly man stepped aside.

...

"Okay, what the heck, Anko?"

"Hehe, I thought of your plan and scrapped it all together! I got a better one!"

"Ugh. I don't like where this is going..."

"I arranged a private meeting with the drug boss in his office. He will wait for you in five minutes."

"Of course you did..."

"Tehe~ It's much funnier way to fight our way out than in."

"*Sigh* Whatever."

Going through multiple security checks, they were finally let into a simple office.

"Hmm, so who are you? Anko here said you have a lucrative business offer." A burly man in a black suit sat behind a desk.

"My name is Utakata. I'm dealing with information trades."

"Hoo~ I'm listening."

"You will give me information about the Spider, and in fair trade, I leave your head where it is."

"Ha~HAHAHA! Do you even know who you're talking with, boy? I received the training from the best shinobis in this country. Hahahaha!"

"F.u.c.k yeah! So we can do it the fun way!" Anko fist pumped.

"I see, so that is your choice." Utakata stood up and walked towards the exit.

"Haha, you got scared, boy?"

"Anko, he is yours, you can break him for all I care. I will deal with his men." The jinchūriki turned his head towards Anko, making his bright golden eye visible.

*Slam*

When he closed the doors, Anko bit the side of her lip, "Now I know why she likes him. Utakata can be f.u.c.k.i.n.g hot once in a while. Hehe, if she ever decides she doesn't want him anymore, I'm calling the dibs on this hunk!"

"Wha-What is going on? Why would he leave me with you?"

"Nyahaha. You f.u.c.k.e.d up, now I will make you sing everything you know..."

...

A minute later, the jinchūriki came back to the office. The crime boss was sobbing in the corner of the room. Anko was sitting at the man's chair with her feet propped up on the table, "All yours, Utakata. He will tell you everything you want, IS HE?!"

"YES, MISTRESS! Please ask me anything!"

"The Spider, his name, location, and businesses," Utakata growled out.

"I'm sorry! The entire organization is built on separate entities. I don't know Spider's name or his businesses in other countries. No one does! I'm only his manager in Hot Water Country."

"You're not that stupid - I'm sure you looked him up."

"I-I just know he has a secret base in Amegakure [Village Hidden in the Rain]!" the man looked scarily at Anko, "Ah, he belongs to a group... it's called Ametsuki or something!"

"Shit!" Utakata punched the wall, cracking it.