When We Were Perfect

For the first time in my life ,I felt calmed ,I felt safe .I felt my heartbeat going back to normal I pulled away to see who this angel was and what I saw accelerated my heartbeat again ,there she was staring at me with a confused and concerned face .Her eyes were hazelnut with streaks of yellow in them ,her brown hair were in two braids .She was indeed an angel, she opened her mouth again to ask the question which no body ever asked me

"Are you okay " she asked

Coming out of stance I replied

"Y-yes ,I am fine, were you the one who opened the class room door"

"Yes ! It was me" she said and stood up offering me a hand.

" Thank you ! For saving me ,but how did you find me"i asked taking her hand and standing up

"I forgot my lunch bag here and came to take it but then I heard someone screaming down the hall so I came to look and then I found the class room locked so I just unlocked it and you ran from there like the room was on fire" she replied smiling

"Do you need water I have it in my lunch bag ,come I will give you ."she said and I followed her near the bench . She sat beside me and handed me a bottle of water ,thanking her I immediately drank it.

"Thank you again for saving me"i said feeling grateful that she was on time.

She giggled and said "No, problem you were really looking sad to me and whenever my mommy is sad I hug her" for some reason her voice was soothing to me . I watched as she pulled two twinkies from her lunch box and gave one to me. I tentatively took one from her friend ,still looking at that cute and kind girl.

"Now , can we be friends"she asked adoringly

"Why"i asked

"Because I don't have many friends here and many children call me dumbo"she said pouting.

"You are not dumb ,you are cute and kind girl"i replied smiling

"Really! I am cute "she asked grinning. I chuckled and nodded.

"So are we friends " she asked expectantly. For some reason I couldn't ignore her innocence so I stretched my hand towards her.She shook it happily and then we both sat there eating twinkies.It was the start of our friendship and at that moment I knew it was going to be more than that. I later learned that she was Amy Moretti Ayla's little sister.At lunch she would always come to eat her lunch with me and share her twinkies.She also met silas and didn't liked him a bit .We four became close spending time together. At times she would visit me in orphanage with Vahide ( her mother) she is also a great women and treated me and silas gently,especially she would spent her weekends with me . I would help her in homework and she would share all her problems with me ,we would visit lake behind the school and sat there eating twinkies. It was at that moment I knew I was falling for her . She invited us at her house on her 15 birthday, she really was from a wealthy family .From that day I made it my goal to become something worthy of her.We continued to be like that along with ayla and silas,one thing I noticed growing up was Amy's behaviour towards silas ,although she pretended she didn't liked his childish acts and carefree nature but deep down I noticed her discreetly laughing whenever he would crack a joke or the way she looked at him with different emotions in her eyes. I wished I could realize the meaning behind her emotions early but I just shrugged those thoughts away at that time .Silas also didn't take things that way he wasn't the type to commit ,he loved playing around.Years passed and it was time for three of us to graduate high school and pursue our career.I remember it was the day of our graduation and the same day I made my first million in stock market, I was over the moon and wanted to share it with Amy first.

I decided to break this news to her after the ceremony and also share my feelings with her, I realized long time ago that I love her the way she cared about me, the way she would hug me whenever she was upset ,the way she would share everything me first . The happiness in her eyes whenever I achieved good grades or achieved something, she would bring me alot of presents on my birthday and other occasions, although I refused her many times but she would always that there was no sorry and thank you between friends.I graduated as the gold student of my school ,among the crowd I saw Gran ,Vahide mom ,amy ( she was still a freshman) and of course ayla and silas cheering for me.After ceremony I went to find amy and to tell her about my feelings but I came to a halt when I saw amy on one knee proposing silas to be his boyfriend, I felt my insides churning, there was an indescribable sensation in my heart like something precious was ripped from me .I saw silas being reluctant and confused but eventually accepted her proposal. My body started shaking and I knew I was going to have panic attack so I ran away from the scene towards the same lake were i spent many of moments with Amy. I came in front of the lake and screamed letting all of emotions slip in that scream tears were all over my face . I felt pathetic and weak again . For once in my life I wanted to love and be loved in return wa it too much to ask I questioned lord over and over, I don't know for how much time I sat there looking at the lake and emptiness of my soul , I remembered every moment I spend with her ,her laugh , hugs and the fact that despite having a soft side she was fiesty and stubborn when it gets to have something. I made a decision at that moment ,if my friends were happy with each other then who I was to break them apart no they were way too much important and precious to me to do such thing.Silas was my brother and Amy was my best friend. I wasn't going to lose them because of my feelings. So I decided to bury my feelings deep in my heart and went back to face the bitter reality that Amy wasn't going to be mine ,she wouldn't be a part of forever I dreamt of with her. When I reached high school Amy was there laughing with silas she had a dreamy look in her eyes as for silas he was happy but still reluctant. As she saw me staring at them ,she immediately came running apologising that she never told me about her feelings before as she was confused but the thought of silas leaving for college made her realise that she liked silas I put on a happy face and told her I was happy for both them ,she then hugged me and told that how happy she was .As for silas , he told me that he never looked Amy that way but he didn't wanted to embarrass her in front of everyone and also he wanted to give it a shot so he accepted that proposal. I knew Amy was always the daring one and would get through any length to get what she wanted but I never new she would be like that for silas and would herself propose him in front of everyone. Whenever I saw them together I felt my heart shattering but thinking that they both will be happy with each other used to sooth that pain a little. I wanted my feeling to fade away so after graduating high school I bought a studio apartment near college and went to live there ,silas went to live with her aunt selina ,it was bit difficult for us as we spent 10 years living together . I gave more than half a million to Gran so that she could use it for the welfare of orphanage. As much as I didn't wanted to, I distanced myself from from everyone to get over of my feelings using college as an excuse as ayla, silas and me went for different courses but we were still in same college , but Amy being Amy came to meet me every weekend and sometimes for sleepover and even sometimes with silas. She would tell me about school and how desperately she wanted it to end, about her dates with silas and how most of them were planned by her. I would sit there listening to her angelic voice , secretly admiring her ,absorbing her beauty when she would watch movies with me and sometimes cuddle with me .I know every single thing about her , she likes to ramble about her problems while eating twinkies, how she would rub her fingers whenever she was nervous , the lines on her forehead whenever she frowned. But she also became busy when she joined law school I also became busy in my company, I thought my feelings will fade away with time but I was wrong more than wrong whenever I saw her my feelings only intensified, even after 17 years I still love her the same.My Amy ,my angel.

I came out of my thoughts when I noticed that a tear fell from my eye, I wiped it away and smiled looking at her picture. I would spend my life alone if it meant seeing her happy , with that thoughts I went into a deep slumber letting my dreams haunt me once again.......